Reborn, I Left The Man Who Lived In The Clouds And Found The One Who Kept His Promise Below

My husband, Chen Qi, was the youngest Grand Secretary at court. I was the wife who could barely read a single character. Chen Qi despised people he considered crude and mediocre. To become worthy of him, I learned to read and write. Yet he only said coldly, A mediocre mind merely invites its own troubles. He kept his distance from me and never mentioned before others that he had a wife. I knew he looked down on me. Still, I believed that the seven years we had depended on each other in hardship might one day warm his heart. Then the invaders broke through the capital. He shielded his childhood sweetheart and left me to be trampled beneath the hooves of the invaders' armored cavalry. Only then did I understand that I had been wrong. He was a cloud high in the sky. I was the one who had reached beyond my place. As I lay dying, I vaguely saw Chen Qi rushing toward me. Warm blood splashed across me, yet he seemed not to feel pain. His face was stricken with panic as he called helplessly, Yao Yao. He had never called me that before. He always addressed me with my surname, as though he wished to erase any connection between us. What was the point of calling me Yao Yao then? If I were given another life, I wished only to separate from him as soon as possible. From then on, we could go our separate ways and each live a happy life. I returned on the very day Chen Qi was promoted three ranks in succession, made a Grand Secretary, and admitted to the Grand Secretariat. The front courtyard was alive with drums and celebration, while the rear courtyard was cold and deserted. On a day like that, I was not permitted to meet outsiders, lest I disgrace the Chen family. I found Chen Qi as he returned to change his clothes and placed a separation agreement in front of him. Sign it. He gave it a cold glance. Do not make trouble. I am not making trouble. There were still three years until the day I had died in my previous life. I no longer wished to waste them on him. I had to leave myself a way to survive. We are no longer suited to each other. Chen Qi frowned slightly, but he did not dispute that. He only said, You have nowhere to go. That was true. But he did not know that even if there were nowhere in the world willing to shelter me except Chen Manor, I would never walk the same road as in my previous life again. Chen Qi did not tear up the agreement, nor did he speak another word to me. He entered his room with a dark expression, changed into another outer robe, and hurried back to the front courtyard. Before leaving, he did not order me back to my own quarters. That was the little dignity he left me. I looked at the agreement in my hand. I had written it myself, and the characters were crooked and uneven surly too ugly for Chen Qi's eyes. Even so he did not ask when I had learned to write or who had written it for me. Just yesterday in this lifetime I had still been the wife who could not read, mocked by a maid in front of him. Chen Qi had an unforgettable memory. After being delayed for seven years, he had still become the youngest Grand Secretary in the court. Of course he would have noticed the difference. He simply did not care enough to notice. In the front courtyard were his colleagues and his childhood sweetheart. I was no more than a hot potato something he could neither hold nor throw away. With a self-mocking smile, I placed the separation agreement beneath the inkstone paperweight. Then I took the vermilion inkbox I had prepared for my sleeve and smeared it over my thumb. Everyone in the capital said that Chen Qi was the dream man of every young lady and the ideal son-in-law in every parent's eyes. Young, talented, elegant and handsome. But no one knew that he had an illiterate wife, who had stayed by his side for seven years while he was blind, who had helped cure him, loved him for a lifetime, and in the end was left without even a body or bones to bury. No one knew that the foolish devotion of that wife had been offered to a stone. I pressed my thumbprint firmly onto the agreement and left it there. After Chen Qi had recovered his sight and returned to Chen Manor, he no longer lived with me. Only two people usually occupied the side courtyard where I stayed. That day, the manor was busy. The maid had gone to the front courtyard and Granny Zi, who was responsible for the daily sweeping, was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps she had slipped away from work. Or perhaps she had gone drinking. It was the perfect day to leave. I had almost nothing to take with me. After Chen Qi and I returned to Chen Manor, all the clothes and jewelry bought for me had been locked away by my mother-in-law's maid. All I possessed were a few half-worn outfits, two pairs of straw shoes, several hundred copper coins saved over many years, and a black and silver hairpin. That was the entirety of the property I could carry awayless than what even a maid at Chen Manor owned. From beginning to end, I had been a wife in name only. I had understood that and seen through it early in my previous life. But I had been unwilling to leave Chen Qi and had lacked the resolve to do so, which was why I met such a miserable end. This time, I changed my hairstyle, tied my bundle tightly, slung it over my back, and wrapped my left hand in a handkerchief so it would look no different from anyone else's. At last I looked several more times at the bronze mirror nearly as tall as I was. In name it was mine too. If it had not been so heavy I truly would have taken it away and sold it. I was desperately poor. Once I left Chen Manor, the money in my hand would probably last only a few days. If my plan failed, I might end up wandering the streets. After one final look at the bronze mirror, I left the shabby room in my side courtyard, pried open the rusted lock on the side gate, and stepped out. It was so easy. The little courtyard that had imprisoned me for three years in my previous life could be left behind with one step. Chen Manor was in the eastern part of the city. After walking for nearly half an hour, I reached the busiest vegetable market outside the city gates. Carriages flowed past like water, and people crowded the streets. A wall there was covered with notices and job postings from wealthy households. The notice I wanted should have been among them. Miss, can you read? The woman at the nearby stall asked as she watched me scan the notices. A little, I answered with a smile. At this point in my previous life, I had only been able to recognize my own name. After my husband became the youngest Grand Secretary at court, I had not wanted to shame him. I had gritted my teeth, spent more than half the money I had saved by skimping food and clothes, and asked a little maid from the manor to buy me a copy of the three-character classic. I treasured it and read it every day. It was laughable. Much later, I learned that my copy was different from my husband's. It was a worthless handwritten version copied by an ordinary scholar, and the maid had pocketed more than half the silver. Fortunately, because it had been copied by an ordinary scholar, there were charcoal drawings beside the character's pictures that hinted at their sounds. That made learning a little less difficult. For three years, I studied in fits and starts. I memorized the three-character classic and more than half of the thousand-character classic. At the time, I thought that after I finished the thousand-character classic, I might shamelessly ask my husband to teach me how to hold a brush. But I had not lived to see that day. Looking back, having a Grand Secretary for a husband had not been much use. Knowing how to read and write for myself was what had carried into the next life. After searching for a quarter of an hour, I finally found the notice I wanted beneath layers of overlapping postings. I carefully tore it down and then found the cheapest donkey cart nearby. I wanted to leave the city. Miss, why would you go to the Zhang family's estate? The driver asked me. Did you tear down their hiring, Zotus? I nodded. That work is not easy. Why do you say that? Maids, servants, drivers, laborers. None of them last a month before running away. In the last two months, hardly anyone has been willing to go there. Is there something strange about the place? The driver hesitated. They say the Zhang estate is not clean. In the dead of night, you can hear ghosts crying. So even then, there had already been rumors that the Zhang estate was haunted. Seeing that I said nothing, the driver probably realized he had spoken too much. Afraid I would be frightened and change my mind, he hurriedly corrected himself. If you urgently need money, it is not a bad place. The wages are very high. I smiled. I happen to be short of money. Looking down at my wrapped left hand, I thought that if I told him I had come not to die beneath the invaders' hooves three years from now, and to see whether I could save not only myself but the people of the realm, no one would believe me. I was used to that. No one ever believed me. Chen Qi's eyes had recovered because I attended him day and night, studying and testing, step by step, a secret technique the Chen family had found. They preferred to believe that I, the girl they had bought had the celestial beam star in her natal chart, and could make Chen Qi recover without medicine. That was why, after his eyes were healed, the Chen family did not immediately cast me aside. Instead, they allowed me to occupy the position of Madam Chen for more than three additional years. Now I wanted to see whether I could truly defy fate and change my destiny. Miss, you arrived at exactly the right time. I had not expected the steward himself to welcome me for a maid's position. The estate is short of people. Have you served as a personal maid before? I was Chen Qi's wife, but I had done a maid's work from childhood through adulthood. Calmly I replied, Have you cared for a sick person before? Chen Qi was blind for seven years. I cared for him for seven years. The steward slapped his thigh. Excellent. Three tales of silver a month, wages counted by the day. Start at once. I had not expected things to go so smoothly. He did not even ask my name. The pay was several times higher than elsewhere. I had thought I would need to work diligently for some time before I could meet the master of the estate. But it was far easier than that. Yet when I reached the rear courtyard, I understood why. Unlike the spotless and orderly front courtyard, the one I was led to looked like the remains of a battlefield. The water jar had been smashed, the stone table and benches overturned, and even the flowers and grass had been trampled flat. The scene was familiar. When Chen Qi and I had first married, things had been the same. Because he could not see, he had been extremely volatile. He never directly took his anger out on me, but he destroyed the little courtyard where we lived, inside and out. At that time, he was the abandoned son of the Chen family. There were no maids, and I alone cleaned up after him. I was often so angry that I cried while cursing him in my heart. Later, as the years of blindness dragged on, he became colder and colder until he no longer had even the vitality he had possessed then. Seeing such a scene again after so many years, I unexpectedly felt a trace of nostalgia. Do I have to clean all this up? I asked. No. As if afraid of scaring me away, the steward hurriedly said, You only need to tidy the room. The yard is the servant's responsibility. Then, without even announcing us, he led me straight inside. It was terribly improper. What if someone else was in there? I was afraid of exactly that, and exactly that happened. Before I entered, I heard someone say, His Majesty has told you to marry. You should simply agree. What is wrong with the minister's daughter? In any case, someone must manage your household. Perhaps your illness will even improve. Who is there? Sir. I brought the person. The steward called as he led me through the door. I had no choice but to follow him inside. The room was far cleaner and neater than the courtyard, with no broken porcelain in sight. Still, it was exquisite. Other than a screen and a bed, there was not even a teacup for drinking water. Two men stood inside. One was extraordinarily tall and powerfully built, with disheveled hair and a face covered in beard. The other was thin and looked like a scholar. The scholar must have been the one who spoke. At that moment his sharp gaze fell upon me. I gritted my teeth and stepped forward about to bow to both men when the powerful man said, You are in such a hurry for me to marry? The scholar nodded hastily. Yes, fine. He looked at me. I will marry her. Everyone in the room, including me, was stunned. The scholar nearly jumped. What did you say? I want to marry her. You will not marry the minister's daughter, but you want to marry a maid? Yes. What do you mean, yes? I stepped forward and bowed. My lord, I am only a maid. The man's earlier roguelike manner vanished. He spoke with a strange degree of care. There is no need for such formality. What does it matter if you are a maid? My status is worlds apart from yours. We are not a suitable match. I had said the same thing to Chen Qi that morning, and he had not argued. I thought this Lord Zhang would surely retract his words after being reminded of it. Instead, he smiled. I do not agree with that. Family standing and status are bestowed by one's parents. Some people are merely a little luckier than you. As for you and me, we could not be more suited to each other. Suited to me? After this man died in my previous life, I had heard many rumors about him. They said that he was open and unconstrained, unconcerned with small formalities. But this was far too unconstrained. I turned to the scholar and the steward, hoping either would speak against him. One stood dumbfounded with his eyes wide, while the other stared up at the sky. I took a deep breath and used my final weapon. My Lord, my husband has not yet signed the separation agreement, though I believe he will do so within two or three days. The air instantly became awkward. The room was so silent that one could have heard a pin fall. He turned his face aside in embarrassment. Then I will wait until you are separated before I marry you. Zhong Han. The scholar stamped his foot in anger. How can you be so unreasonable? Zhong Han sounded entirely justified. I am terminally ill. Once I die, I can leave my property to my wife. It is better than letting it fall into the hands of those shameless petty people. Even so, you cannot simply marry a wife at random. What sort of behavior is that? When powerful people fight, ordinary people suffer. I had intended to investigate carefully before deciding what to do. But the scholar's gaze toward me became more dangerous by the moment, as though he wanted to drive me out of the estate immediately. Leaving would be easy. Entering again would be difficult. I could only step forward. This servant. Zhong Han interrupted me after only two words. How can a member of the household call herself this servant? When had I become a member of his household? The scholar looked as though he wanted to devour someone. I could only grit my teeth and say, I came to the Zhong estate only to find work as a maid. Zhong Han immediately asked the steward, How much are you paying her? Three tales a month. Too little. Change it to Zhong Han. The scholar shouted until his voice nearly went hoarse. My eyelid twitched. Three tales were already several months of living expenses for an ordinary family. When Chen Qi was blind and had become the abandoned son of the Chen family, Chen Manor gave the two of us only two tales a month. After deductions layer upon layer, less than one tale reached my hands. That money had to cover food, Chen Qi's medicine, and replacing everything he broke in anger. By the end of each year, I had not only saved nothing but also owed a little debt. Those days had been so hard that I had occasionally taken on odd jobs merely to help us get by. If he offered more than three tales, he might dare to pay it, but I would not dare to accept it. Zhong Han argued with the scholar again. I would have to give it to her later anyway. What is wrong with giving her more now? The scholar trembled with anger, shot me a poisonous look, and swept out of the room. Lord Fan, do not be in such a hurry. Would you like to stay for dinner? Zhong Han called after him. The steward also darted out the door, leaving me no instructions whatsoever. Only Zhong Han and I remained. I felt awkward and my eyes happened to meet his. The moment our gazes met, he turned his head away. A faint flush spread across the side of his neck. That reaction was entirely beyond my expectations. In my previous life, I had heard that Zhong Han dared to defy the emperor in court and angrily rebuke officials to their faces. His argument with the scholar had not made him seem easily bullied. So why did he now seem even shyer than I was? Had he realized that what he said earlier was inappropriate? My lord, I said bowing, do not worry, I will not take what you said seriously. He froze. Perhaps I had imagined it but he seemed slightly wronged. Why will you not take it seriously? You need not care about that man. I simply will not allow him through this gate again. What? The scholar had obviously been a person of no ordinary status. Yet Zhong Han said he would not let him visit again. Could it be because of the final look that man had given me? How could that be? At Chen Manor, even after I became the wife of the chief grand secretary, everyone in the Chen family still kept me away from outsiders. My mother-in-law disliked seeing me meet anyone. Chen Qi's advisors did not even know he had a wife like me. No one said it aloud, but I knew they feared my rural birth and illiteracy would be exposed and damage the Chen family's reputation. They feared others would learn that Chen Qi had married a wife of such mismatched status. Zhong Han and I had met only that day. Why would he offend someone for me? He seemed to think it perfectly natural. He and I do not follow the same path. Why force ourselves to gather in one place? I remembered that, when Zhong Han was still alive in my previous life, Chen Qi's advisors had complained about him more than once. Zhong Han has no sense of what is good for him and no understanding of how the world works. Yet after Zhong Han died, those same people sighed again and again. If Zhong Han were still alive, how would those invaders dare to be so arrogant? People were fickle, their honeyed words hiding daggers. Zhong Han, whom they condemned as ignorant of how the world worked, had simply remained honest and straightforward from beginning to end. It was a pity that good people did not live long. In my previous life, he had died young from a grave illness. I lowered my head and looked at my left hand. Whether fate could be defied, I would only know if I tried. When I looked up at Zhong Han again, his face had turned even redder. My lord, are you unwell? No. He turned away, pacing and fanning himself with his hand. This room is a little hot. It was early winter. The doors and windows stood wide open and the cold wind cut to the bone. Where was the heat? Could that be another symptom of his illness? Our eyes met again. His movement stopped. Then he suddenly covered his face and bolted out the door, leaving me standing there alone, bewildered in the cold wind. A short while later, about the time it takes to drink half a cup of tea, Steward Ma came to lead me away. Do not overthink it, miss. You did not offend the master. But, she smiled kindly. Think of it as his old illness acting up. He went to take medicine. You need not work today. I will show you around the estate. The Zhong estate covered a vast area, though it did not have many people. The main residence had only a little more than ten residents, so I soon recognized everyone. Walking through the whole estate, however, took nearly half a day. I had thought that with rumors of ghosts, everyone on the estate would walk on thin ice, anxious and fearful. In reality, everyone smiled and treated me warmly. There were also several farms and the families of their workers farther away. They came only at festivals and holidays, so I would meet them then. Steward Ma said, You do not need to worry about the master today. I will take you to get something to eat. The food was even better than at Chen Manor, and every dish was something I liked. The attendants were warm and friendly. In less than a single day, I felt as though I had entered another lifetime. Even the room arranged for me was excellent. The bedding was clean and soft. There was none of the everlasting damp smell of my old room at Chen Manor, no mother-in-law deliberately making things difficult for me, and no Chen Qi looking at me with cold eyes. There were far fewer rules at the estate. If I heard anything, I had no need to be afraid. I could go to Steward Ma at any time. I slept very well that night. The next day my work officially began, and I rose early. Carrying the washing things, I waited outside Zhong Han's room. Before coming to the estate, I had already thought it through. If I wanted to change my fate and avoid dying beneath the invaders' cavalry, the most important person was Zhong Han. He was the greatest general of the dynasty. Several years earlier, when the invaders entered the realm with unstoppable force, Zhong Han had emerged seemingly from nowhere. With only a few thousand men, he had cut off the enemy's supplies. He then rose rapidly through the ranks. In less than half a year, he became commander-in-chief of hundreds of thousands of troops, led the army to a great victory, and struck all the way to the enemy's royal court. From then on, the invaders trembled at the mere sound of Zhong Han's name. The emperor valued Zhong Han enormously. No matter how often Zhong Han contradicted him, the emperor never became angry. When Zhong Han offended officials and was impeached, the emperor merely laughed it off. The favor he received was unparalleled, yet such a man would die soon from illness. Beginning with his death, the emperor would fall gravely ill and die. A new ruler would ascend, court politics would descend into chaos, and the invaders would seize the chance to cause trouble. The border would then suffer defeat after defeat. Old generals would die in battle, and the younger generals would be unable to bear the burden. In the end, there would be no way to turn the situation around. But I knew that this dead end was not impossible to change. In my previous life, one day outside Chen Xi's study, I heard several high officials speaking with him in secret. If General Zhong had not died young, how would those invaders dare to act so wildly? If he were alive, that rabble would have been driven beyond the passes long ago. It is a pity that no one can cure General Zhong's headaches, someone said. Lord Chen, I heard that you once suffered from an eye illness, and that its cause resembles General Zhong's condition. If the divine physician who cured you could examine him, perhaps, a heavy thud sounded against the tabletop. Lord Chen, he misspoke. Please do not blame him. My lord, I misspoke. I knew why Chen Xi had become angry. The person who had cured his eyes was me, a wife who could not be brought into the light. Old Madam Chen kept the matter tightly sealed, and Chen Xi had never told anyone that he had a wife like me. Yet they all knew that I was not a divine physician. I did not even know how to take a pulse. There was only a secret technique that Old Madam Chen had exhausted every effort to obtain. Very few people in the world could use it, and among those willing to devote themselves to learning it, only I had succeeded. Only I could do such a thing. Now that I had become Zhong Han's personal maid, the opportunity had arrived. No matter what I had to try, perhaps I could change more than my own fate. What I had never expected was that the hardest obstacle would be Zhong Han himself. As soon as I entered, I saw that he was entirely different from the day before. He had washed his face and combed his hair early. His beard had been shaved clean, and the long hair that had been wild and tangled yesterday was now tied neatly back, revealing exceptionally handsome features. Everyone said Chen Xi's looks rivaled those of the legendary Pan An, famed for his beauty. Now I saw that Zhong Han was no less handsome. With the physique of a general trained year-round, he might even surpass Chen Xi. I was about to bow when Zhong Han lowered his head slightly, cheeks flushed, and walked toward me. The next instant, my hands were empty. Sit down, leave that to me. With that he began cleaning the room. His movements were quick, neat, and decisive. Meanwhile, he pressed a cup of freshly brewed hot tea into my hands. Was this not backward? Who exactly was serving whom? Seeing me stand there blankly, he urged. There are no chairs in the room. The tables and chairs outside have been repaired, and the view is pleasant there. I had come to be a maid, yet the master cleaned while the maid sat idle. But once Zhong Han became stubborn, he was no less immovable than Chen Xi. In the end, I could not persuade him otherwise, and I became the person sitting in the courtyard, drinking tea and enjoying the view. Such sudden idleness left me feeling lost. When I lived outside Chen Manor with Chen Xi, I was busy every day. Caring for him, managing the household chores, and taking on work to help cover expenses. After his eyes fully recovered and we returned to Chen Manor, my mother-in-law still never allowed me a moment of rest. In name, I had a maid, but in reality she watched over me. Chen Manor had never felt like a home. It was more like a cage. By contrast, at the Zhong Estate, I felt more like the master than a servant. My lord, this does not seem right. Do you need more pastries? Zhong Han somehow produced a plate of pastries and set it in front of me. I will finish cleaning soon. Do not rush. Was this really right? Sitting idle was indeed rather boring. Perhaps Zhong Han misunderstood me again, because he ran back into the room and came out carrying a stack of books, which he placed before me. I do not know many characters, I said. At Chen Manor, I had always hidden when I read. The Chen family came from a scholarly line. But while my mother-in-law said that an illiterate woman was disgraceful, she also did not want me to study. Every so often, she would tap my head in warning. The maids and servants praised my reading to my face while mocking me in their hearts. Even Chen Qi spoke to me as though he were bestowing charity. Zhong Han was a military commander, but I had heard that he was highly learned. Even Chen Qi's advisors, who considered themselves superior to everyone, had praised him in private. Though I had lived another life, I had only barely made it through more than half of the thousand-character classic. Someone like me would probably make Zhong Han think I was too embarrassing to present to others. But he smiled. They are all picture books. There are not many characters, and they are much more interesting than all that dry scholarly stuff. Zhong Han opened one in front of me. The illustrations were vivid, with only a few scattered characters underneath. I recognized most of them. They were simple and easy to understand, and they felt like the three-character classic I had once owned. I will give all of them to you. How can I accept them? I could tell at a glance that the books were valuable, and I was about to refuse when a young servant came to report, My lord, someone from Chen Manor has come to see you. Zhong Han pushed the whole stack into my arms. Go rest first. I did not want to meet anyone from Chen Manor either, so I bowed and left. Looking at the books in my arms, I felt it was inappropriate simply to take them. After hesitating, I went to find Steward Ma and happened to hear several people in the rear courtyard chatting. Chen Manor is so strange. Why did they suddenly send someone here? Exactly. Our master has never had dealings with Chen Manor. It is more than no dealings. They clearly do not like each other. I overheard that Chen Manor seems to be looking for someone. Looking for someone? Could they be looking for me? I shook my head inwardly. That was impossible, and it should not be so. My mother-in-law had long found me an eyesore and wanted Chen Qi to marry his childhood sweetheart. Leaving the separation agreement should have suited her wishes. Chen Qi was the same. He was proud and aloof. In the years of hardship, I had been his wife in name but more like his elder sister. Now that his eyes were healed and his childhood sweetheart waited to become his wife, I had long been useless. In my previous life, he had not repudiated me only because he did not want to bear the shame of abandoning the wife who had shared his poverty. Who are they looking for? Someone asked curiously. I do not know. The steward was strange. He would not say who he was seeking, only asked whether our estate had taken anyone in. He kept everything hidden and insisted on seeing our master. That was exactly the Chen family's way. Had I not been kept hidden as Madam Chen for ten years in my previous life, I had been foolish enough to think that ten years could warm someone's heart. Whoever they are looking for, I heard that Lord Chen, the one who has just entered the Grand Secretariat, is as handsome as the legendary Pan'an. Yes, and I heard he will soon celebrate a happy event. He plans to marry the childhood sweetheart, who never left him. Never left him? In the very month Chen Qi went blind, that woman's family had broken off the childhood betrothal. For seven years, Chen Qi and I had depended on each other, and I had never once seen her. Less than three days after he returned to Chen Manor, she arrived to reclaim her old lover. It was laughable to the extreme. In this life, I wanted nothing more to do with that family. Steward Ma, I said as I approached. Yao Yao, you are here. I showed her the stack of books. The master said he wanted to give these to me, but Steward Ma smiled. If the master said they are for you, simply accept them. A little maid beside her suddenly asked, Right, Miss Chu, what household did you serve before? I was not afraid for others to learn I came from Chen Manor. I simply did not want to waste words explaining. As I struggled with an answer, Steward Ma lightly tapped the little maid. Have you finished the work assigned to you? Are you sneaking away again? Then she took the books from my arms. I will carry these back to your room. Go back and serve the master. I lingered for a while, thinking the visitor from Chen Manor had surely been driven away. Yet when I entered the courtyard, I heard a familiar voice. That voice had once made my heart and dreams restless. It had also made me hate him to my bones. Even though I had let go, I could not forget it. Lord Zhang, I have come to find someone. Why does Chen Manor keep sending people? I drive one away and another comes. Chen Qi, I already told you, the person you are looking for is not here. I investigated it clearly. After my wife left the manor, she took a carriage to your estate. My wife? I was a little dazed. I had never heard Chen Qi call me his wife. Not once, in this life or my previous one. At first, he never addressed me at all. The moment he opened his mouth, he told me to get out. Later, he called me Yu or He. When we were older, he called me Madam Chu before others. And he did so for many years. Even the name Yao Yao was something I had heard only when I was dying in my previous life. Thinking back, on that final day, Chen Qi had plainly protected his childhood sweetheart as he fled. Perhaps even the moment he ran toward me with a devastated face and called me Yao Yao had been nothing more than an illusion before death. Your wife? Zhong Han gave a cold laugh. Why have I never heard that you, Chen Qi, have married? You are not married. Where did this wife come from? See yourself out. I will not see you off. Zhong Han, I do not wish to waste words with you. Hand her over, and I will leave at once. Ha! Lord Chen carries quite the official authority. I did not want to listen any longer. I turned to leave, but the room door was suddenly kicked open. I saw Zhong Han grabbing Chen Qi by the collar, apparently about to throw him outside. The instant Zhong Han saw me, he froze and hurriedly shoved Chen Qi back inside. Chen Qi refused to cooperate. Wife, he called as he struggled. Zhong Han snapped. What did you call her? You are mistaken. The scene was chaotic beyond all propriety. I could neither leave nor stay, but I could not simply let it continue. Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward and bowed. Lord Zhong, Lord Chen. Both men stopped together, as though only then realizing their behavior was improper. Zhong Han released Chen Qi's collar, and Chen Qi straightened his rumpled clothes. Lord Chen, I said. Did you bring the separation agreement today? I have not signed it. Today I came to take you back to the manor. I gave him a faint smile. Then there is no need. Since Lord Chen does not wish for a mutual separation, could you grant me a letter of repudiation instead? So long as I can make a clean break from Chen Manor, I do not care whether we separate by mutual agreement or whether you repudiate me. Why must you do this? Come home with me. Let us pretend none of this ever happened. Chen Qi frowned tightly, as though he could not understand why I insisted on cutting ties with him. It was utterly ridiculous. Lord Chen, do you know what kind of life I led at Chen Manor? My husband ignored me. My mother-in-law and the servants made things difficult for me. I lived under other people's roof, and anyone could trample on me. Why should I remain at Chen Manor and endure your family's torment? If I did not leave, I would be like my previous self, endure three more years and then die miserably. I had lived through one life and suffered through one life. I was tired of it. I had had enough. Chen Qi looked shaken by my words. I did not know. Yes, Lord Chen, you are a cloud at the edge of the sky. Why should you care about mud like me beneath your feet? Chen Qi rubbed his brow. Yao Yao, I truly did not know you lived so badly in the manor. When I return today, I will set the household in order and give you justice. Justice. When my mother-in-law made things difficult for me, when maids mocked me, when I was neglected and despised, I had once fantasized that one day I might warm Chen Qi's heart, that he would no longer be a cold, rigid stone, that he would smile at me, call me by name, and tell me, I will get justice for you. After another life, after one death, I received those words only after I no longer wanted anything from him. Zhong Han, standing beside me, laughed coldly. Chen Qi, your eyes have healed, have they not? Why are you still exactly as blind as before? You believe whatever others tell you. Did you not see what she ate, wore, or used, and now you say you will get justice for her? Zhong Han, this is my family matter. A family matter? She is now part of my household. Of course I can interfere. Yao Yao is my wife. Lord Chen, do you get to call her your wife simply because you say so? Where is her natal family? What is her birthday? What does she like to eat? What is she like? Chen Qi fell silent. His eyes, normally calm as water, were filled with panic. Yao Yao, my heart went numb, and I was not surprised. Zhong Han sneered. Three questions, and you know none of the answers. Then say that you mistook the person. Zhong Han, you are an outsider. I am no outsider. Zhong Han stood beside me. The young woman before you is not your wife. She is my childhood betrothed. I turned toward him in shock. What nonsense was he saying? Until the day before we had never met. Chen Qi was equally dumbfounded. Zhong Han, you are talking nonsense. She was born on, date unclear in the source. Her natal family is gone. She has only two distant cousins. She likes sweets and likes reading. My wife cannot read, but my betrothed has nearly finished the thousand character classic. You keep calling Yao Yao your wife, yet you know none of the answers. Where is the marriage contract stamped by the local authorities? Do you have one? Chen Qi was stunned. There had indeed been a marriage contract when old Madam Chen bought me. But when Chen Qi and I were sent to the separate residence, he had burned it. As for the local authorities, I had thought I had long ago been entered into the Chen family register. Could it be that I had not? I stared at Chen Qi, astonished. From beginning to end, I had never been a member of the Chen family. My chest ached dully, and emotions I could not name grievance or anger rose within me. So that was it. All those years of companionship had amounted to nothing. Lord Chen, consider the separation agreement a joke. You and I were never truly connected, and there is no need to force us together from now on. This is clean enough. In this life, I want nothing to do with the Chen family. The Chen family bought me, I cured Chen Qi, and I cared for him for seven years. Let us consider all accounts settled. Yao Yao, that year my mother merely forgot to submit the documents to the authorities. We can do it today, can we not? Chen Qi tried to reach for me, but Zhong Han stopped him. Lord Chen, I told you, you have mistaken the person. Men, seek the guest out. Several large servants escorted Chen Qi out of the estate. I felt only emptiness and absurdity. So I had never been Chen Qi's wife. Wearily, I thanked Zhong Han. My lord, thank you for speaking up for me. I know you said those things only to help me escape embarrassment. I will not take them seriously. Not take them seriously? Zhong Han coughed awkwardly. Well, Miss Chu, Chen Qi will not let this go so easily. Chen Qi had always been proud. I had made everything clear today, and the marriage tie no longer existed. He could marry his childhood sweetheart. There is something you do not know, Zhong Han said. Chen Qi is somewhat stubborn, and he has a grudge against me. I have no formal ties to anyone. I am free. Could the Chen family forcibly seize me and take me back? He may use another method. As soon as Zhong Han spoke, the steward rushed into the courtyard in panic. My lord, the moment Lord Chen left he went to the prefect of the capital. To the prefect of the capital? If the old documents were gone and I refused to return to Chen Manor, there was only one other way. Miss Chu, Zhong Han's expression became grave. Do you still want to return to Chen Manor? No. Are you willing to stay at this estate? I am. I had come in the first place to treat Zhong Han. Miss Chu, even without a marriage contract, Chen Qi could have one drawn up and complete the household registration within two days at the latest. So I have a solution. What solution? Will you marry me? The suggestion was absurd beyond measure. I thought I had misheard. But Zhong Han's cheeks were faintly red and he did not look as though he were joking. I turned to the steward. He smiled, cupped his hands and said, Congratulations to you both on your union. What is this supposed to mean, my lord? Do not joke. I am not joking. You are a member of this estate. How can I let the Chen family bully you? Then I do not need to marry you. If you were Chen Qi's wife, I could not keep you if he wished to take you away. Your status is noble while I am only a peasant girl. Your family will not agree. My mother died early and my father does not interfere in my affairs. Even if I married someone else, I would not necessarily have to return to Chen Manor. Zhong Han froze then gritted his teeth. Who would dare object? I mean that Chen Qi is underhanded. Without enough status, I cannot protect you. My lord, if you are worried, we can write an agreement. Once Chen Qi stops troubling you, we may separate at any time. I had come to treat Zhong Han. How had we begun discussing marriage? Besides, he added, I am gravely ill. I will not touch you. I sighed. If we continued this way, the conversation would only become more absurd. I might as well take the opportunity to deal with the real matter. If I wanted to treat Zhong Han, I had to speak plainly. My lord, can we set marriage aside for now and speak of your illness first? Zhong Han was stunned. I heard you suffer from severe headaches that medicine cannot cure. I also heard that Chen Qi's eye illness and your condition have the same origin. Before Zhong Han could say anything, the steward stepped forward excitedly. We heard that a divine physician cured Lord Chen. But Lord Chen said he did not know where that physician was. Even his majesty has been unable to find the person. Do you know anything? I do not know any divine physician. The steward's spirits fell. Zhong Han, as though he had been disappointed too many times, did not seem to care. Then you do not know one. Life and death are fated. If you marry me, you may become a rich and powerful widow. With no other choice, I told the truth. I do not know a divine physician. But I cured Chen Qi's eyes. Both men froze. I am not a physician, but I learned a lost secret technique from an ancient text that the Chen family found. I raised my left hand, which I had kept wrapped year-round, and unfolded the cloth to reveal my sixth finger. Besides Chen Qi and Old Madam Chen, no one had ever known about it. The technique could clear blockages, draw out toxins, and reconnect the body's channels. People born with six fingers were rare. The world was ignorant, and some parents regarded such a child as an ill omen and would drown the child at birth. My own parents did not love me, but because my features were proper, they considered me a rare commodity and let me live. They did not cut off the sixth finger, but from the day I was young, they repeatedly warned me never to reveal it before anyone. I learned early how to hide that finger. With or without a handkerchief, I could conceal it without others noticing. That was also why it was exceptionally nimble. Old Madam Chen had bought me because of that sixth finger. In a desperate gamble, she forced me to learn a secret technique she had bought at great cost, hoping to turn a hopeless case around. It was said that hundreds of years ago, a six-fingered divine physician had written an illustrated manual of the technique, which could save those at death's door and restore flesh to bare bones. Unfortunately, no one had inherited the physician's teachings. After the manual was passed down for years, only fragments remained. When Old Madam Chen obtained it, she wanted only to try her luck in desperation and handed it to me. The patterns inside were far too complex. Before I had learned them, Chen Qi and I were expelled from the manor. Yet I kept the book and looked through it from time to time. Then one day, Chen Qi's eye illness flared up, and the pain became unbearable. I followed the method in the book. In less than half an hour, his pain was gone. From then on, each time Chen Qi's eye illness flared, I helped him. Over time, I discovered a few clues. In that secret technique, the sixth finger of the left hand was the key. When the other ten fingers sensed changes in the body's channels, the sixth finger had to either open or block at exactly the right moment. There could not be even the slightest delay, or all previous effort would be lost. I had no teacher. I could only feel my way forward. In the seventh year, I finally cured Chen Qi's eyes. Lord Zhang, are you willing to let me treat you? The steward hesitated. This is a serious matter. The master's headaches concern his life. Zhong Han had already nodded. He immediately wrote an agreement stating that life and death were fated and that even if he died that day, I would not be held responsible. After handing it to me, he gave the steward two letters. Go take care of it. Chen Qi and I had been together for ten years in my previous life, yet he had never truly trusted me. Zhong Han and I had met only the day before, but he was willing to entrust his life and everything he owned to me. For that trust alone, I had to give everything I had. Six hours later, I let my hand fall in exhaustion. Zhong Han was sleeping peacefully. I was truly too tired. Sitting beside the bed, my eyelids grew heavy. When I opened my eyes again, daylight filled the room. The room seemed unfamiliar. Madam, you are finally awake. You have slept for more than a day. The little maid sprang up from the footstool. This servant will report to the master immediately. Madam? Master? I was utterly confused. A few breaths later, a tall figure rushed into the room. Wife, you are awake. It was Zhong Han. Why are you calling me wife? Zhong Han's eyes shifted as though he felt guilty. Well, before you treated me, I was afraid someone might blame you afterward, so I had a marriage contract written. So that was what he had sent the steward to do. Do not be angry. I wrote this too. In a fluster, he pulled a sheet of paper from his chest and pressed it into my hand. It was a letter of repudiation written so I could repudiate him. If you are unhappy in this household, you may cast me aside at any time. The house, land, gold and silver will all be yours. I was speechless. What was this supposed to be? Zhong Han looked at me expectantly. Wife, could you call me husband? I finally could not bear it any longer. Zhong Han had become my husband, and yet I could not immediately repudiate him. Just as Zhong Han predicted, Chen Qi was unwilling to let me go. But because Zhong Han sent the marriage contract to the authorities first and completed the formal betrothal rites, three matchmakers, and six ceremonial gifts within a single day, Chen Qi could do nothing. Old Madam Chen also came once, but before she could enter, the estate's senior matron drove her away. The real reason I remained, however, was that Zhong Han's illness had not yet been completely cured. To cure it completely would require another half year. Zhong Han, half a year is too short. A year would be fine. I could not help smacking his back, but his skin was thick and his muscles were firm. Only my own hand hurt. Does your hand hurt, wife? I will blow on it for you. Next time, do not hit me with your hand. Use a wooden board instead. I have prepared one for you. I truly had no way to deal with this shameless man, so I let him blow on my hand. Wife, my father wishes to meet you. Are you willing to meet that old man? An elder wanted to meet me. Even if this marriage began as a sham, it would be improper to refuse. Three days later Zhong Han and I traveled by carriage, then changed to a sedan chair. After a full four hours, we arrived at the most imposing place in the entire capital and met the emperor himself. After I bowed, still dazed, I heard Zhong Han say, I brought my wife, you have seen her, so we are leaving. You rotten brat! The emperor glared in anger. Since I agreed to let you marry, I will not break my word. Your wife is also your benefactor. In any case, stay a little longer. I had never expected to enter the palace in such a way. I had expected even less that his majesty would be more kind and approachable than any elder I had ever met. But in the end, I understood one thing. I was unlikely to be able to repudiate this husband of mine. Half a year later, I cured Zhong Han. A year later, the emperor acknowledged his son, and Zhong Han became the first prince. Three years later, Zhong Han decisively defeated the invaders and was named crown prince. He remained the same with me as when we first met. Sometimes he still blushed, and he still foolishly let me do whatever I pleased with him. The heart Chen Qi had wounded so completely, was slowly stitched back together, piece by piece, by Zhong Han. At a grand banquet one day, I got drunk and truly became husband and wife with him. The next day, Zhong Han rewarded the attendance of the eastern palace with several years' worth of wages. I could not tell whether he was the embarrassed one or I was. He listened to everything I said, except for one matter, that he always kept silent about. Zhong Han, did you know me long before we met? After living with him for so long, I knew Zhong Han was not someone who acted on impulse. He must have wanted to marry me long before that day. He looked left and right, trying to change the subject. Wife, that is a long story. The emperor abdicated and became the retired emperor. Zhong Han ascended the throne, and we had a child. On the day our child turned five, I finally managed with great effort to make him slightly drunk. Tell me, when did you first know me? Very early. How early? The year you married Chen Qi. I was thirteen then. You pulled me out of the river and told me to live well. A door in my memory seemed to fly open. That year I had indeed saved a boy who fell into the water. He was thin and small, not even as tall as I was. His hair had stuck to his face from the water, and I had hurried back to care for Chen Qi. In the end, I never saw his face clearly. That boy had been Zhong Han. From that moment, I fell for you. Zhong Han gently touched my cheek, his lips slowly approaching mine. May we never part in this life. Zhong Han's side story When I was fourteen, I was poisoned during a grand banquet at the palace. At the time, Chen Qi and I sat at the same table. Neither my mother nor the emperor expected the Chen family and the noble consort to be willing to abandon Chen Qi, the heaven-favored prodigy, and make him die alongside me. That banquet had been held because I had come of age. The emperor wanted to acknowledge me as his son and give a proper status to the woman he truly loved. My mother. I found it laughable. He had kept her outside the palace as a mistress for many years, only because she was an orphaned member of the former dynasty's royal family, and he feared unrest at court. What did I need with the title of prince? I did not want it. But my mother was happy, so I could only accept it reluctantly. I never expected to be plotted against. Chen Qi and I, one with my life hanging by a thread, the other robbed of his sight, were struck by a poison that would slowly damage our vital channels. No medicine could cure it. My mother had always been frail. Worn down by grief and illness, she died before me. To allow me to recover in peace and avoid being killed in the palace, the emperor hid me in the countryside. By coincidence, Chen Qi, the abandoned son, was also sent there. But the first person I met was not Chen Qi. It was Chu Yao Yao. That day, I dismissed my guards and went alone to the riverbank. My pains suddenly flared up, and I fell into the river. Yao Yao, who had gone to wash clothes, saved me and pulled me from the water. You are still so young. Why would you think such foolish thoughts? I was clearly older than she was, but after choking on water, I could not speak. You must live well, she told me. I have to go home and cook for my husband. That was the first time Yao Yao and I crossed paths. Afterward, I went several times to the outside of her little courtyard. I learned that she was Chen Qi's wife, and I learned that she was wholeheartedly devoted to him. What a pity that her devotion was wasted on someone unworthy. Young master, what are you saying? said the steward, a loyal man the emperor had assigned to me. If a young woman marries badly, as my mother did when she met the wrong man, how should I help her? Young master, Miss Chu is already married. Who said I like her? I merely find my heart racing whenever I see her. My face grows hot, and I do not know what to do with myself. I do not dare speak to her because I fear she will remember how wretched I looked before. The steward smiled. Young master has grown up. You need only tell me how you wish to help her escape her suffering. Then I must gain learning and power. Could I not rescue her now? Would she allow you to rescue her? I shook my head. She treats Chen Qi so well that it makes me jealous. Then, young master, you must plan for the long term. Look at his majesty. Who under heaven dares to disobey him? No one can openly disobey him, but they can obey him in appearance while doing the opposite in their hearts. He could not even protect my mother. After getting him drunk, the officials are arranged for that noble consort to become pregnant by him. I cannot be like him. I will never take many wives and concubines, nor will I fail to protect the person I want to protect. I only hope I can live a little longer, long enough to stand behind her and protect her once she is willing to let me. Yao Yao had no money. I thought of every way to have people bring her food, secretly pay the interest on the debts she owed, and dig a well behind her courtyard. But I knew no one could discover it. I had neither power nor standing. I was not even a prince. The Chen family's influence was enormous. If they learned Yao Yao was my weakness, the consequences would be hard to predict. My studies grew heavier, and I grew taller. I followed the treatment of the so-called divine physician the emperor had sent. An imperial physician had once said that I would probably not live past 18, but he later fell silent. I could feel my headaches returning more and more often. What if I died without ever protecting Yao Yao? Whether money or status, I had to leave her something. I went to war and won battle after battle, but I did not have much time left. Then word arrived from the capital that Chen Qi had recovered. The emperor was overjoyed, but when he investigated, he found only a corpse. The Chen family said, that is the divine physician who cured Chen Qi. I understood. The emperor was old, and the noble consort relied on the Chen family. The Chen family's roots and branches ran deep everywhere. They all wanted that other prince to sit on the throne. The emperor had only two sons, me and him. I was not expected to live much longer, and one day the realm would be that prince's. Even if the Chen family produced only a few scapegoats, the emperor could do little more than punish them and accept the lie. Besides, the emperor likely believed Chen Qi had recovered, simply because the poison had not gone deep enough. I heard that Yao Yao was learning to read, so I personally drew pictures for a copy of the three-character classic. I hoped that when I could finally place it in her hands, she would like it. What I did not expect was that, before I could arrange my affairs or find a way to deliver wealth to Yao Yao, she appeared before me. It turned out that she had been living so badly. The reports I received had merely painted a false picture of peace and prosperity. The Chen family's subordinates could not be trusted. If I left just like that, the only thing I might leave Yao Yao in the end would be a single copy of the three-character classic. At that moment, I understood. I did not want to let her leave again. Even if I had to break completely with the Chen family, I would protect her. But I never expected Yao Yao to be the divine physician who had cured Chen Qi. Her hand was warm when she pressed it against my acupoints warm all the way to the bottom of my heart. I wanted her to be my wife. I wanted to protect her completely. In the end, I became emperor. Yao Yao became my empress and we had a lovely child. The only thing that displeased me was Chen Qi. He remained a Grand Secretariat in the Grand Secretariat, with no change in rank for many years. That was because I had quietly signaled it. When one has power and influence, why not use them? I would never admit it was because one day, Yao Yao said that Chen Qi would become the youngest Grand Secretary, and I became jealous. And Chen Qi was truly hateful. After all these years, he still had not married. Could it be that he was attracted to men? Then one day, Chen Qi requested an audience. After confirming that Yao Yao was viewing flowers in the imperial garden and would not come to the imperial study, I allowed him in. Compared with before, Chen Qi looked far more worn down. Another attempt at winning sympathy? The Chen family had long ceased to be what it once was, and I was not afraid he could make waves. So I waited for him to speak. Your Majesty, this minister asks permission to retire from office and return home. He was only a little over 30. Retire? Your Majesty, do you believe in reincarnation? I did not believe in it before. But after several cycles of reincarnation, none of the endings were what I wanted. Yao Yao and I are fated to meet but not fated to be together. Tears suddenly streamed down his face. Chen Qi had never cried before. Had he gone mad? Your Majesty, the Empress is coming to see you. I was alarmed. Why was she suddenly coming? Had Yao Yao softened? What if she pitied her former husband? Chen Qi, leave at once. Your Majesty, may we never meet again. I ask that you take good care of Yao Yao. Chen Qi wiped away his tears, turned, and left. The moment he was gone, Yao Yao entered the imperial study. Did you have a headache today? I shook my head. No. She frowned at me. Why do you look guilty? Nothing. In this life, you are the only person before whom I feel guilty. Someone had come earlier, and I could not hide it. I could only honestly admit that Chen Qi had come to resign. Yao Yao said nothing. Was Chen Qi's attempt at winning sympathy truly going to succeed? Chen Qi was a capable man. The more I thought about it, the more uneasy I became. Better to send him to the borderlands. Then I would not worry anymore. Delighted, I immediately spread out an imperial decree and began drafting it.