Managing an Elderly Parent's Finances

Hi, I'm Richard Barrett, Smith Barrett, LLC. As elder law attorneys, we very often find ourselves advising adult children on the intricacies of managing their elderly parents' finances. It may seem straightforward. Straightforward enough, but there are lots of details and difficulties that can get in the way, and the parents sometimes can be less than helpful in the process. You need to be somewhat prepared and have access to an experienced elder law to avoid some of the more common pitfalls such as memory loss. This is prevalent among the elderly and a big reason that adult children are called in to take over finances. This makes answering questions like how much is owed or when is the bill due difficult because your parent might not know. There may also be some struggles over role numbers. All your life, your parents have been in charge, and it can be more than a little uncomfortable to be burned to take over. You may feel resented, too, from the people who taught you from the beginning to forgive their own advice. And let's not forget that previous generations found it improper to discuss money, so you may struggle with a lack of information for this reason as well. The air of secrecy may be difficult to break through. So how do you deal with these obstacles? The best way is to avoid them altogether. Start as early as possible by meeting with an elder law attorney that you and your parents both trust, and you might get all the information you need up front. A good way to break the ice about getting professional help is by relating their needs to your own estate or bringing up a situation you heard recently such as the financial struggles of a friend or even a celebrity. And if you're really stuck, a good elder lawyer will have additional ways for steering the conversation in the right direction. Sometimes it only takes a third party suggestion to get the ball rolling, so don't be afraid to reach out to someone to stage an intervention, so to speak. The key is not to be afraid and approach the subject of money frankly, openly, and honestly. Trust us, what feels uncomfortable now will pay off later, especially when mom or dad's finances are being managed smoothly by the family instead of requiring court intervention or other invasive legal measures.