Reboot Your Story | Episode 157

Thank you, Deidre. I'm very happy to be here. Oh, Deidre. I should have asked. Deidre. Okay. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. And we're going to talk about your book, Reboot Your Story. And when I got this in my book mail, I was so excited. I was like, this is just intriguing me from just by the cover, just by the title, Reboot Your Story. And then, of course, I had read your, you know, the pre-chat information, and I was totally intrigued. And when you take a look at this book, I'm going to show the pages of it sideways. When you see it, it's a small book. It's like 150 pages. But it is going to have such a huge impact on one's life. And I am just starting it myself and very carefully. And I will say, before you even embark on the chapters, the prologue, everything that you say, how to use the book, it's all so important. And you get so much just from the pre-writing. So what made you want to write a book titled Reboot Your Story that can impact someone's life so positively? And I didn't set out originally to do this. It's just because part of my journey. I woke up one day overwhelmed with anxiety, and I didn't know why. I was absolutely terrified. It was complete destruction of the ego. That's the best description to put it. It's like one day you wake up, and I was in a prison of my mind. That's the best way to describe it. And it was completely blank. I didn't know who I was, really. I felt like I was not exactly inside my body. It's a very strange feeling. I don't have that now. I even had trouble walking sometimes. It was very odd, and I had no idea why I was so terrified. And I found out later it was perimenopause. And that's why I talk about that a lot now. Because at the time, I keep telling the young girls in particular that I had regular periods. I didn't have any sign of anything else. It was just the mental state. And I never experienced anxiety before. I didn't know what that was. I mean, perhaps I was thinking, well, if you're anxious, just take a deep breath, and you'll be fine. But it was just so disastrous. So it lasted for about three and a half years. And the first year, the doctors wanted to give me pills, and I felt that it was so strong that it wouldn't work. So after a year, I thought it was perimenopause. And then after that, potentially, not through doctors, but through friends, and I thought, okay, maybe that's what it is. But I thought, okay, I need to get out of that. Because I felt I needed an intervention or something. So it was through desperation, really, I started this journey. I am not a psychologist. I'm a writer, screenwriter, and a filmmaker. That's what I am. And I started with stories. Because stories is basically how I start studying characters. And in particular, the narratives that we tell ourselves, the societal narratives are very interesting as well. And something that we use as authors, I mean, as screenwriters in particular, is the theme of the personal wound. The personal wound is all the trauma you've had when you were a child or something that's impacting you to this day, and it's not something you can let go of. It's very, very deep. And we all have some form of them. But, I mean, it could also be something that's extremely impactful that happened in your life later. For example, you lose a child or something very, you know, then it becomes part of your personal wound. As a screenwriter in particular, this is how we create interesting characters, you know, that they have the personal wound so that we can relate to them. So I started to examine that. So how about my own personal? So I went into that. I went to the narratives. And this is where the journey started. And after that, it was a journey that I cannot change my brain because the other thing that was, you know, from that journey that I realized is that I was taught, we were all taught as children to brush our teeth. I don't know, do math, do whatever. But not how to look after our brains, right? You know, no one tells us, I think. So basically, I was like the next of that. And then this is where the rebooting started. Like, what are the narratives? How can I make myself think better? And this is when I found out that the brain is wired to think negative, to protect us. And for every negative thought, we need six positives to make it a positive. And we have a tendency to be negative. So the same way we have a tendency to eat donuts all day long, you know, it's the same with the brain. We have a tendency to do that. So it was like looking at that. Can I change that? Because also, I really examined all the narratives I had for myself, the societal ones. There's a lot of examining. And then, so the personal wound, and as part of that, it was around the time, around 2022, 23, where Chagipi came out, you know, AI came out. And I was studying that as well. And I thought, wouldn't it be interesting to see if I could use some prompts to be able to look at the personal wound? Not as a therapist, but more as like, you know, you have those moments in life where like, I'm so angry. Or I'm depressed today. And I'm not quite sure why. And to see if it has to do with your personal wound. And this set of prompts that I have in the book, it's very much something that sometimes you were like, okay, I don't know why. Can you relate back to my personal wound? And it's because, I mean, you feed it all that's happened in your life. And then you go back and you're like, okay, so this is the reason why. And then it helps you go, okay, I understand why I feel this way. And then you feel instantly better because you're like, there's a reason. It's not just a sense of doom or a sense of anger for no reason. So like I said, I don't use it as a therapist. I don't use it as a doctor because I'm not a doctor. The AI is not a doctor. But it's just an extra tool. So at the beginning, you tend to use that a lot. But then over time, you learn, okay, I know myself now. I know why I'm feeling this way. So I use it once in a while now, but a lot less. So that's the idea. The idea is not to be dependent on this tool, but as a tool of freedom. My whole book is about that. So I was going through connections and finding my purpose was another one. It's six elements that go through in the books. And finding my purpose was a big one as well. But also, after three years, about three years of this doom and gloom, I had ice cream one day. And then I thought, that ice cream tastes delicious. And I realized that was the only thing I had enjoyed in three years. Oh, my gosh. It's awful. I understand you. No, thank you. I understand you. It's like right now for me, a cup of coffee at the beginning of the day made the way I make it with my sugar, my cream, and my little caramel flavoring that I put in my coffee is like the joy of my day. Not that I'm in any gloom and doom, but it is the element that brings me a little daily joy, you know, that's physical, that's of the world and not spiritual. But, yeah, I can understand where you're coming from with that. So there's a lot to unpack in what you just said. Let's start with the first thing, with perimenopause. And that's just a sidebar we're going to take right here. And I've discovered in the last 10 years, thank goodness, society or very brave women have talked about perimenopause and menopause and postmenopause. And I congratulate those women in taking that whole natural occurrence to a woman out of some type of myth and horrible myths where women are perceived as horrible, mean, dry, and all these other things. You know, there's a lot going on in those phases, and I don't think a lot of people understood what was really going on in those phases. And so I'm just very thankful for the medical community and for females that are writers about those subjects to come out and explain to people what's going on. There's even a social media personality. I think her first name is Melanie. I can't recall her last name, but she does a We Do Not Care Club. She's wonderful. She's got a pair of glasses on her face, a pair of glasses on her head, a pair of glasses stuck in her shirt. And she's like, we do not care. You know, menopause, perimenopause, we do not care. You know what I said five minutes ago, I was going to bake a cake. Five minutes later, I'm not interested in making a cake. I mean, she's just fabulous. She's just fabulous. And I love, you know, what she's putting out there. So, you know, it took a lot of bravery because when my mother went through menopause, it was a horrible time in our household. The doctors wanted to give her, this was the 1970s and 1980s, and they wanted to give her, gosh, I forgot the drug, Valium. They wanted to give her Valium. And she was like, oh, no, I don't want to take that. And she didn't take that, but she was just extremely mean. And she was extremely mean for many years, at least a decade or more. So, you know, it was a hard menopause. And so that affected me, talking about things that affected you. So that affected me because I was a teenager at the time. And then you fast forward. I prayed and prayed and prayed throughout decades that when I got there, I would not have a bad menopause. And I didn't. I didn't. Thank goodness because I had menopause with her back in the 1970s and 80s. So thank goodness I did not have a bad one at all. But, you know, it does affect you sometimes. Brain fog. I experienced brain fog and stuff like that. But, but, yeah, but that's one of the things in my life that I, you know, that as I was reading your intro that has affected me throughout, you know, my course of my life. So then to go on, you know, you talk about, you talked about, you spoke about the negatives. And my goodness, you know, as you say here, 65% of the content we consume is negative. It takes at least three positive thoughts to counter just one negative and six to truly shift your mindset. And no wonder the world feels so heavy. And, you know, I have been thinking about that myself in the last two years, or maybe just since COVID. Since COVID, doesn't it feel like the pressure of life has just been pounding and pounding and pounding. And it's like every day you wake up, there's something completely brand new that you never imagined. What do you say to that? Okay. Everything is a narrative. Okay. So if we feel that what's out there is all bad, it's a narrative. And I want to, one of the things that I want to say that, you know, when I said that we are not aware of how brain diets, you know, the narrative you consume, whatever, but there are people in the world who know exactly how we work. So they will put narratives out there to somehow confuse us, divide us, whatever. And I feel that unfortunately we live in a world of algorithms and blah, blah, blah. So there's part of like AI doing its job of like, oh, we know, if I say Deidre is the worst podcaster in the world and we know that's going to create a decision or whatever, or, but there is that, but there's also manipulation on a political level on so many levels. So when we go on social media, it's, and also for the first time since last year, we found out that there are more bots online than actual real people. So this is how like all the bots are so manipulated by people. Right. You know, so yeah, there are more bots than people online. So anyway, so all of that is, is an impression of life is the worst and it affects us at a deep level. Even me, I'm not, I mean, my, I've created this company called BFMillionaire, which is a project production company as a filmmaker. We were on a mission to turn up the positivity and apply the principles on my book every day. But I'm telling you, it's every day. It's like going to the gym. I have to practice because I open social media, even me, I want to have some donuts for once in a while. I might do school and go, oh my God, so and so is doing this. You know, we can't help it. Right. But it's extremely harmful towards us. It makes us despondent. It makes us, you know, like, I mean, we, we, but yes, society feels bad because the current narrative is bad and my company is on mission to doing the exact opposite because something that we know about neuroscience that's going to excite you is that if we all, because how the brain works, if we all decided today to think positive, we will change the world in just a few years. Is that impactful? Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's why I think it's just so important that we get the word out. That's one of the reasons why I do this podcast interviewing authors like yourself to clarify a lot of things that are going on, you know, in the world today. And that's very interesting. You know, I, I do not only do I host this podcast, but I am pretty tech savvy. I've taught tech classes through AARP. And one of the things that I didn't really know is that there's bot, you know, more bots online than people. And, you know, you get aggravated when you signing into a website or something and you, and it says makes you prove that you're human. And then you're like, gosh, I don't want to do that. I don't want squiggly letters, you know, and stuff that I can't really see. But, you know, that it's very important that people know that and not to get aggravated by that because those bots have had the power to change elections. Elections. I mean, since 2016, I think, I mean, Brexit was really the first one. I mean, there's a whole documentary about it. It's not me being conspiracy theorist. There's the Cambridge Analytica sort of a documentary that it was really well documented that it happened at the Brexit, but then America opened in the US. I mean, it's, it's, I mean, it's, it's really, it's, and the sad thing about it for me, I feel is that we've, then people start to live in different realities. And I think this is as a society is really extremely harmful for us because I remember back when I was younger, I mean, we all had about the same news. We kind of believe, okay, the earth isn't flat, you know, or whatever, you know, but now I feel like sometimes you could be talking to someone and be completely bamboozled at what they're thinking. You know, you're like, oh my goodness. And someone who's not an idiot or whatever. And you're like, oh my God, I can't. So we live in different realities. I think Obama said that actually, I think he said like, so we start living in different realities. And I think he's absolutely right. And I think there's so much damage being done over the course. I said, 2016, I think it was the time where it started. And we know Russia was involved. We know so much, so many players that are not nice people. Let's just say they didn't have our best interests at heart. And you know, AI, AI a little earlier, you know, that coupled with the bots and people just dreaming up, they can dream up anything, you know, and I worry about the Epstein files that who's in charge of the Epstein files, you know, the redactions of the Epstein files. And then once the Epstein files reveal themselves to the public, anyone can take AI and place in names in the Epstein files and reveal them in their faults or put up pictures that are false, you know, so it's, it's a, it's a lot, it's a lot of different things. It goes on. I'll pick an, I'll tell you a situation that happened in America is that somehow, some way, somebody was thinking that Hillary Clinton was trafficking little children through a pizza parlor in DC and a man from somewhere, the Midwest maybe came to Washington guns blazing and he was killed, you know, but that, that's an extreme living in different realities example. I hadn't heard that one, but yes. Yes. Yes. That was totally, totally. And that, and it's sort of related to the Epstein files, you know, and stuff like that. Also what I worry, I think we need urgent legislation on AI because the thing is now it's so sophisticated that, you know, you cannot tell if it's AI or not. And the other thing you were saying people could, that's one thing that could place your, your name Deirdre on, on any Epstein's files, but also what could be done is like, you could just say my name is on it, but it's just AI. So it works on the other way around as well. People say, well, actually, you know, someone is manipulating this. It's not me in there. Right. Do you know what I mean? I think it can work, you know, like what, what is reality? This is the problem we're having now. What is reality is becoming this really intangible concept. It's becoming intangible, you know, so we could talk about that. I'll say, but we'll segue that information to say though we have some positive aspects, the six elements to rewrite your life here in the book. And I'm just going to read out the, some of the chapter names. Chapter one is rewrite, shape your reality, which we're talking about right now. Two is adapt, transform your thinking. Three, heal and embrace your emotions. Four, positivity, the power within. Five, connect, find your strength and community. And I think a lot of people don't deal with community enough and they are isolated. Therefore, some of these unrealities empower finding your purpose, money, wealth is freedom, health and beauty, confidence through wellness and routine habits that drive growth and your epilogue, your story, your legacy. And might I point out to folks that when you get this book, she's got QR codes in here that you to, to download your worksheets that'll help you. And then this is also a book you can write in as well. So it is a working homework type of book to work on yourself and, and your life. So let's take maybe two of the chapters and let's just explore some of the things that you're talking about. Let's talk about adapting. Cause we've did, we did talk about reality so about adapting and transform your thinking. Give us a little synopsis of that chapter. Basically it's explaining to you how the brain works, which is what I talked about before. You know, how to rewire your brain, which is an exercise every day. And I often use this because you know, like people often affirmations, which are good things, you know, to have, but the idea is like, you know, if you do affirmations in the morning and then the rest of the day you're swimming in negativity, then, you know, you know, it's not going to work. It's a bit like having salad for breakfast and donuts throughout the day. I always use that sort of metaphor. And this is what I needed to learn because I was often disappointed with myself. You know, about like, Oh, I want to be positive. And I think I stopped the morning, maybe positive. And then after that, I finished like really bitter. I don't know, but I was really disappointed with myself. Why was I feeling this way? So through the, you know, learning the 65% and all of that, it was like having this like routine of learning how to, to sort of bring that into my life and be kind of strict with myself. In the evening I have some, some, some tasks, you know, tips I gave, like, for example, write down in the evening five things or 10 things you're really grateful for. And, and, and then you, this is how a way, a good way to measure as well how negative you've been that way that day, because if you've been really negative throughout that day, you'd be like, Oh, there's nothing going right. So, yeah. But what we find is like, I always say, start small. Did you have a hot shower today? Did you have coffee? Coffee is a very good example. Yes. There are some people in the world right now who don't have that and hot shower hundred years ago, many people didn't have access to a hot shower. So this is what's happening. And then you start with that and then the next sentence comes and then your brain starts unlocking this positive thing. So it is having this kind of regularity in what you do. So this is where basically, basically a piece of putting that into practice, but in a very practical way, because I have the reason when I wrote this for me, I don't like people talk a lot. Big explanations. I like simple stuff. So for me, I start the morning, write down my pages. The first thing I say, first half hour with that mobile phone, because, you know, when we look at the mobile phone, it's really bad for your brain. First half an hour, maybe routine is a good one as well. All these are practical steps and simple. Have your coffee. If you enjoy your coffee. When you told me that, that you were enjoying your coffee, I was thinking she knows she knows how to do this. So this is a very good tip that you can give to people as well. Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And I have something coming up that will help people even more when drinking their morning coffee. But that's another story for another day. Now tell us about another insight to a chapter. Let's see. I closed my book by accident. Empower, finding your purpose. A lot of people don't really have a purpose. They get up, they go to work. They just I do believe some people are here and they just use this as a mechanical fascination. They really are not involved. They get up, they go to work and, you know, they don't really have any things outside of work that will empower them or that they're doing to help anybody else. But tell us a little bit of insights on that chapter. I think I think it's no one's fault once again. I mean, I think another thing that do a lot in this book is explain that the reason we feel this way is because of societal narratives. And one of the ones that typically see if you look at companies and look at their values, you know what they strive for, you know, and it's always, oh, we, we care about people, blah, blah, blah, whatever. They always say the same things, but when you work in any corporation, you realize they don't apply any of this. I think for a lot of us, like, what is your purpose feels like because it's been used thrown around a lot. My purpose is to care about people, blah, blah, blah. In the end, people don't do it. So I think I want to put that in perspective. If someone doesn't know what their purpose is, I think we shouldn't sort of like judge in that sense. And I think for me as well, I didn't know what my deeper purpose was because I knew I wanted to create this like narratives about, you know, like being positive and stuff. But for me, I mean, naturally, I'm a screenwriter at home working my pajamas writing away. So doing this meant I had to put myself out there on social media or whatever, which, which felt really difficult for me. At the time in particular, it's getting better and I'm enjoying it. But the reason I'm enjoying it is because I found my purpose. And what that means is like, I really truly believe that we can change in a few years in a narrative. So I want to bring everyone on board and do that. So what did I do? I removed myself from the equation. It's not about me. It's about the mission. So when it's not about me anymore, then it gives you the strength to give you something else. And these are two people who inspired me in that way. It was first a young woman in Spain. She's an activist. She has seven rare diseases and she's an influencer. Well, she explains how she lives her life and stuff. And basically, she wanted to raise awareness about those seven rare diseases. I think there are eight million people in Spain. That woman, by doing that, that gave her strength. She wasn't a young lady who was going to die early because of all that. She had that purpose. And then the second person who kind of catalyzed that for me was a French entrepreneur called Olivier Gouin. And this is a guy, 38 years old. He was very successful, everything going well. And then he got diagnosed with ALS, which is the worst of the worst. And that guy, he decided, so he went to see a therapist. And the therapist told him, you know, if you feel depressed, you're hurting yourself twice. So he decided to do, okay, I'm going to go out in the world and raise awareness of ALS. So that guy, he's been on television, he's raised millions. You always see him with a smile on his face. He doesn't speak anymore, but with AI, you know, you can still talk because you know how it works. And he always has a smile on his face because now he feels, I'm going to do this. And he's never felt more alive, that's what he says. And then when someone asked him, what's your happiest moment in life, what's your happiest, he said, when I woke up today, another day. So he's incredible. I mean, that man, because for me, one other thing I forgot to ask, my anxiety was health-related. So if you presented me someone like him, I'd be like, no, please, that's scary. But I just thought, wow. And the joy and everything that came from that, I said, this is what has to, and I think, you know, this is what I need. I need to feel that. And I thought, I believe in this. So that's going to be my mission. So I think this is a way, hopefully, to people to understand how they find their purpose. And once again, I don't think that you should feel bad if you say, I don't know exactly what I'm here for. But there is something. All of us, like Deidre, yourself, you know, like presenting the books, you bringing light into this world, you know, that's purpose. I'm sure you have more purpose, other things, but you know what I mean. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Wow. This book, like I started off by saying, it's only 150 pages, but it has the power to reboot your story, your life. And so, and Cecile, I want to thank you for coming on the Bookaholic podcast. I do have some other ideas for us that I will share with you after this. But, yes, everybody, go pick up a copy of Reboot Your Story. I'm sure it's on Amazon or any of your favorite bookstores. And since Anne Cecile is international, I'm sure it's in different languages. Is that correct? So far it's in English for the moment, but, yes. Yes, absolutely. I haven't translated yet. Yes. Okay, okay, okay. I have people all over the world who listen to this podcast, so I just want to make sure. I'm hoping. Translating it right quickly. Yes, I need to. Let's see. In the future, for sure, I want to do that. Absolutely, absolutely. Well, Anne Cecile, thank you so much for joining us today. I appreciate your book about positivity. Thank you, Deirdre. Thank you so much.