Get Good at English Small Talk (it's easy)

If you're learning English and you suck at small talk, you're not alone. Today, I want to help you improve your English small talk, so you can talk to strangers without feeling nervous or awkward. Firstly, we're going to learn what is the point of small talk. After that, how to start a conversation and keep it going. Then some common small talk mistakes. And finally, how to leave without seeming rude. First and foremost, most small talk conversations begin with, Hey, how's it going? Or, how are you doing? And the answer is usually, I'm good, how are you? Not bad. Even if you're feeling... We don't mention our problems at this stage, especially with someone that we have just met. After my last small talk video, a lot of people asked me, Is small talk fake? I want to tell you a little story. So I used to work at an Asian company, and my colleagues hardly ever made small talk with me. They were much more direct and they got straight to work. But after working together with them for a while, I got to know them better. And that made me realize it's just a cultural difference. You see, in England and in other English speaking countries, we like to get to know each other a little bit before getting down to business. And once you understand that, then small talk won't feel fake anymore. Small talk isn't about sharing important information or your deepest feelings, but it is a necessary step to open up communication between humans. You're helping the other person feel comfortable enough to continue the conversation. So the goal is comfort, not perfect English. People aren't judging your English as much as you think they are. They're mainly asking themselves, Do I feel comfortable enough talking to this person? A small grammar mistake is much less important than showing warmth, curiosity, and attention. But Jay, what if I don't know how to start a conversation? So after saying, Hi, how are you? Or, how's it going? Where do you go? Well, you can use what is already around you. So for example, if you're at a cafe, you can say, Do you come here often? What's your favorite thing on the menu? What would you recommend? Ah, nice. I'm gonna try that. Or if you're at a social event, you can say things like, So how do you know the host? Do you know many people here? I love your outfit, by the way. Where did you buy that? Okay, so now we know how to start a conversation. What to say after that? It's useful to think of small talk like a game of tennis. In tennis, you hit the ball back and forth to keep the rally going. In small talk, we don't have a ball. But we do ask questions and then answer those questions. And this keeps the conversation flowing. Right, you've asked a question and someone is answering. How do you respond? The best small talkers do that by listening attentively, looking at the speaker, keeping eye contact, and having open, relaxed body language. It's also easy to feel awkward with our hands. Where do we put them? You can have your hands in front of you, behind you, on your hips, or in your pockets. Try not to cross your arms. This is closed body language. A really useful tip is to grab a drink. Have a bottle of water with you. This will help your hands feel less awkward and it will help you feel less rushed to respond. You can pause and take a sip before you speak. Beyond our body language is our facial expressions. You smile and nod to encourage them to keep speaking. You can say things like, Oh, nice. All right, cool. Ah, me too. And then you take your turn to speak. Let's look at a few examples. Hey, how's it going? Hey, it's going well, thanks. How are you doing? I'm good, thank you. By the way, I'm Jay. Nice to meet you, Jay. I'm Tim. Nice to meet you, Tim. I'm curious, how do you know the host? Oh, we know each other from work. I started working with her a year ago. How about you? I met her at our tennis club. We played doubles together. Are you into any sports? Just like anything, we learn by doing. So the best way to get better at small talk is to practice having conversations daily. You will naturally get better at it. If you don't have anyone to practice with, you can chat with J.I. on Sprouts on any roleplay situation. He will ask you questions, keep the conversation going. So you can get your daily English practice. But Jay, what's a common small talk mistake? A lot of English learners don't know what to say. And because of that, you might give very short answers. Let's look at an example. So Lucy, what genre of books do you like reading? I like fiction. Nice, me too. I usually read non-fiction, but recently I have been reading some fiction books. I've been reading a book called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Have you read it? No, I haven't. Did you notice the problem with Lucy's answers there? They were too short. The problem with short answers is that it gives less detail for the other person to ask you questions and to keep the conversation going. The solution to that is to share more. Give more detail in your answers. Share your personality. And remember to ask questions back. When you share more, you can use what you said to spark your next question. Let's look at another example. So Lucy, what genre of books do you like reading? I like fiction. I'm really into mystery and crime novels, and I love to read them when I go on holiday. Are you into crime novels? I don't tend to read crime fiction. I usually read non-fiction books, but I'm curious. Have you got any recommendations for crime fiction books? Yeah, I just finished the book Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman. I would highly recommend it. Nice, I think I'll check it out. What's it about? What a game of tennis that was. Why did that conversation between Lucy and I flow so smoothly? Simple, we asked questions and then we gave details in our answers. In small talk, if you want to be interesting, be interested. But Jay, how do we leave without being rude? If the conversation is going well and you share things in common, then you can go from small talk to deep talk. And I'll share more about that in a future video. But what if the conversation is a little dry? Or what if it's come to its natural end? How do you leave without seeming rude? Well, the solution is some simple exit lines. It was really nice chatting with you, Lucy. I'm going to grab another drink now, but I'll see you around. I'm just going to say hi to a few more people before I leave. But it was nice to chat. I'm going to get back to my friends now, but it was nice chatting. Now let's recap what we learned in this video to help it stick in here. Firstly, we learned that small talk isn't fake. It's just a part of our culture. It helps us create social ease and build positive relationships with each other. Secondly, we learned that to start a conversation, we can simply use the environment and the context around us. Thirdly, we learned that small talk is like a game of tennis. We ask questions and then we respond. We also learned the importance of open body language, smiling and positive facial expressions. We learned that giving very short answers doesn't give enough information for the other person to ask us questions and keep the conversation going. And finally, we learned how to end a conversation using simple exit lines. So guys, it was lovely chatting with you. I'm just going to grab a drink, so I'll catch you in a bit.