IT'S TIME TO CONTROL YOUR MIND - Motivational Speech

I don't feel like life is always about finding the answer. I think it's about sometimes learning to live with the question. I think we spend so much of our lives chasing certainty. We want to know why things happened the way they did. Why someone left. Why we didn't get the opportunity. Why life took a turn we never saw coming. Some questions don't get answered. Some people leave without explaining themselves. Some dreams fall apart without giving us a reason. And some chapters close so quietly that we're left staring at the pages wondering what we missed. For the longest time I thought healing meant finding the answer. Now I think healing is realizing you don't always need one. Because sometimes the search for an explanation becomes the very thing keeping you stuck. You need to clean your past. Because if there's any type of debris, any type of weight still lingering inside of our own life, you can't move on. I think you're forgetting again that this is exactly what you asked for. You wanted more growth so you get more responsibility. You wanted more opportunities so you get less time. You wanted more strength so you get more challenge. Why do you keep forgetting that? Everything you've ever asked for in this life comes at a cost. And the mistake you're making is that when you go for something and you see a cost you turn back. The cost is what leads to growth. The cost is what most people won't pay. The cost is what gets you to the point you've always wanted. So the next time you go after something that has a cost, remind yourself that's what it takes to get it. But I'd probably just say fear less. So much of my life, especially in my 20s and even still now, is driven by this fear. It's driven by uncertainty. It's running away from something that you don't want is running towards something that you do. And that will push you to do lots of great things. Understand that you have one life. How you live it is your choice. If you can dream it, if you can believe it, it can potentially become yours with the right energy input, the amount of work ethic necessary, and a good attitude. But life will pass you by. You don't want to be the person that wakes up 30, 40, 50 years from now in regrets what they did. What if it's the truth that we are the creators of our life? We've been programmed into this chronic disbelief that we're not creators. And all the things that go along with it, that we've been hypnotized and conditioned to believe that we need something outside of us to change our internal state. You have to come up against yourself. You have to fall. You have to get back up. You gotta go again. And that becomes the hero's journey. That becomes the triumph. That's how self-love is born. It's born because we kept choosing ourselves. And then all of a sudden our belief in ourselves is earned. And we feel worthy now. It's a want to. They want to keep exploring it. So then their belief when that synchronicity happens, their belief when their pain changes, is broadened. It's strengthened because they're seeing the outcome. And now they're more invested. They have more intention behind doing it. Certainly the most destructive vice, if you like, that a person can have, more than pride, is self-pity. I think self-pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It destroys everything around it except itself. Self-pity will destroy relationships. It will destroy anything that's good. It will fulfill all the prophecies it makes and leave only itself. It's so simple to imagine that one is hard done by, and that things are unfair, and that one is underappreciated, that if only one had had a chance at this, only one had a chance at that, things would have gone better. You would be happier. It's only this, that one is unlucky. All those things. And some of them may well even be true. But to pity oneself, as a result, is to do oneself an enormous disservice. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You will be happy. You don't have to scratch very far beneath the surface of most people's lives before you find something truly tragic. The only way that change is going to take place is if you see the evidence of the collapse right in front of you. I think the challenge is, is that people have to wake up. And the question is, how uncomfortable do you have to become? And as I've said in the past, you know, you don't try to fix this. We just figure out a way to create something better. You don't have to. You're necessarily 65, 75, 85, and none of us know when that moment's going to come. And I believe we don't necessarily have time. All we have to make an impact is this moment right now. Tomorrow is not some guarantee that we have. It's not a right that we have. It's a privilege. Repattern. It's a process of rewiring. It's a process of reconditioning. It's a process of self-reflection and awareness and changing those beliefs. When you begin to realize then, well, I can't respond to the same conditions in my life with the same emotions and the same thoughts. Because if I believe that the way I feel and the way I think creates reality, if I'm reacting to the same thoughts and feelings equal to the conditions in my life in the same way, then I keep reaffirming the same life. The attachment and the identification of this conditioned sense of self that we have learned to be based on our past, based on our experiences, based on our childhood. We identify with these thought forms and we identify with these belief systems and then we hold tightly onto this sense of identification as a sense of me is who you are, who you really are. Sometimes when you find your purpose, the real challenge is just beginning. You're alone. You're alone. You may have a stranger you're going to. You may have a best friend you're going to. But there's 24 hours in the day where you're alone in this brain. Your brain is talking to you in all kind of ways and it wants to control you, pull you into different pockets. You got to tell your brain where you want to go and how you want to go and how you want to get there. You got to control it. Life begins to throw these challenges and tests. Life's way of rewarding you is like believing in you. It knows okay you're on this path so you must be ready. And so to me the challenges and the hardships and the ups and the downs and the divorce and the breakups and the difficulties are just life's way of preparing your soul. We're going to adapt and overcome now. The power to do whatever it is you say you're going to do, to live with personal integrity, that is a superpower. Most people they need you in minor things. They focus on stuff that doesn't matter. You look at your body where you're starting. Without that everything else is out the door. You don't want to be richest man in the graveyard. That's not going to do it. If there's energy, if there's vitality, if there's strength, it's going to show up in your relationship. It's going to show up in your business, show up in your life. That's what you got to master. You can't dabble. It's too important. Emotions are everything. I mean you've got a ton of money. You got everybody loves you and your primary emotions are pissed off and frustrated. Then your life's pissed off and frustrated. Doesn't matter if you got a billion dollars or a million people loving you. Your life is not great. Relationships. Intimate relationships especially. It's where the most juice in life comes from. The most pain comes from most people. It's worth mastering instead of dabbling. Really looking at what are you going to do with your time and mastering your time. Instead of having a checklist you can mistake movement for achievement. I want to squeeze out that time that matters that creates value for me and for everyone I care about long. We have the world's information at our fingertips. We don't have the excuse of not knowing what to do anymore. Who doesn't know basically how to move forward? Who doesn't know that if you want to have better relationships with people you have to be fully present with them? Who doesn't know that if you want to do better at your job you have to do the work especially the hard stuff that other people don't want to do. We know these things. So there's no excuse anymore to say well I just didn't know how. Most people focus on being significant. We live in a Facebook world where people fake their life, put new filters, make it look different than it really is. Tell stories that you know are totally fooling it to make yourself look good. Because we live in this kind of false world where significance is more important than love and it separates us. And the other one that we see most often is certainty. People want to be certain before they can do something. We're lacking the ability to avoid distraction. Getting ahead in life is not just about doing the right things. It's about avoiding not doing the wrong thing. That the root cause of why we become distracted is because we feel these internal triggers, these uncomfortable emotional states that we seek to escape. Well in the psychological realm everyone's going to measure themselves differently because everyone values things differently. Some people value success or significance. Some people value love more. Some value just basic levels of certainty. We all have a need for certainty that we can avoid pain and we can have some pleasure, some comfort. We all need uncertainty. We need variety or we feel dead inside. You're totally certain you're bored. If you have total variety you would freak out. And it's not a balance. It's learning which of these you need more as a person. Everyone's developed a different set of values in that area. The need for significance. To feel unique, special, important. The need to feel loved. The need to grow. And the need to contribute. What would happen if I turned my whole life around? What would happen if all of a sudden I went and learned some things that could change it all? Most people's lives, they fail primarily because they don't open up the possibility so they never take the actions that could change their life. And because I asked, how can I turn my life the rest? Now, what can I do to make things work? I started getting new answers. You know, they say, ask and you shall receive. The most important thing in business, I'd say, is hard work. Never forgetting where we came from. We are what you are and we're one of two things. Either you're somebody or you're not actually. Small minds discuss other people. Good minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas. There is no passion to be found playing small and settling for a life that's less than the one you're capable of living. 40 years ago, March 27, 1975, it was 40 years ago, I was flunking out of college. I had a 1.7 grade point average. I was sitting in my mother's beauty parlor and I'm looking in the mirror and I see behind me this woman under the dryer. She said, somebody give me a pen. Give me a pencil. I have a prophecy. March 27, 1975, she said, boy, you are going to travel the world and speak to millions of people. But that's not the most important thing, the success that I had. The most important thing is that what she taught me and what she told me that day has stayed with me since. I've been protected. I've been directed. I've been correct. I've kept God in my life and it's kept me humble. I didn't always stick with him but he always stuck with me. You have these dreams. Dreams without goals remain dreams. Dreams without goals. Yearly goals, life goals, daily, monthly goals, annual goals, minute by minute goals. Dreams without goals are just dreams and they ultimately fuel disappointment. I never understood that concept, having something to fall back on. If I'm going to fall, I don't want to fall back on anything. I want to fall slowly. I figure at least this way I'll see what I'm going to hit. Goals on the road to achievement cannot be achieved without discipline and consistency. You will fail at some point in your life except you will lose. You will embarrass yourself. You will suck at something. Every day you have to plan. Plan to fail. We fail to plan. Hard work works and in this text tweet twerk world that you've grown up in, remember just because you're doing a lot more doesn't mean you're getting a lot more done. Don't confuse movement with progress. So never give up. Without commitment, you'll never start or more importantly without persistency, you'll never finish. I ain't got the likes. Mr. Rand don't give me my money. Come pay day cause he like me. He give it to me cause he owe me. Say thank you in advance for what's already yours. True desire in the heart for anything good is God's proof to you sent beforehand to indicate that it's yours already. Now don't you go through life worrying about whether somebody like you or not. You best be making sure they're doing right by you because taking risk is not just about going for a job. It's also about knowing what you know and what you don't know. It's about being open to people and to ideas and anything you want you can have. So claim it. Work hard to get it. When you get it reach back. Pull someone else up because the chances you take, the people you beat, the people you love, the faith that you have, that's what's going to define you. When the winter comes make this note. Just hang on. You know the winter cannot last forever. There's never been a double winter. Some are difficult and some are easier. There's never been a double night. The night only lasts for a few hours and then the day finally dawns and the shadows flee away. Fear is always about that which does not exist. You cannot fight or you cannot overcome that which does not exist. You want to know what true courage is? True courage is taking the test. True courage is finding out what you can or can't do. You can't keep sweeping what's important aside for another day because the honest truth is you aren't promised another day. It takes courage to put yourself on the fringe of failure just to determine whether or not you will succeed. Two paths in life. This is the path I chose a long time ago. It's the lonely road. You feel alone all the time. You can have a team around. You can have mentors. Trust me, you'll feel alone. You're going to wake up earlier than everybody else. You're going to go to bed later. Why do I tell you that? That way when these things are happening you'll know, oh these are signs I'm on the right road. Most everybody else will do this. The crowded road. It's well lit. There's navigational equipment. There's directions. Really good roads. The lonely road, no navigational equipment most of the time. It's dark. It's not well lit. There's huge ups and downs. Massive turns. Roadkill along the side of other people who quit on their dreams. Do the thing everybody else does. Listen to the haters. All the stuff they tell you. What's so bad about where you are? It's okay. What's so... Any of that sound familiar? That's all the lonely road stuff. You're on the right road. Don't yield. Believing in your future more than you're believing in your past. Stop romancing your past. Start romancing your future. Stop telling the story of your past. Start telling the story of your future. Stop believing in your past. Start believing in the future. That process is an unlearning and a relearning process. It's literally breaking the habit of being yourself and reinventing a new self. I want you to know that it's okay to leave your past behind you. Yes, you've had successes and failures. You've had difficult things and wonderful things happen. You've had things that you've learned and experienced that have brought you to this point right here, right now. And some of those things you had no control over. Some of those events in your past were completely outside of your control. But you and only you control what meaning and impact those things are going to have for you from this point forward. You get to decide. If we want to become a better version of ourselves, we have to do what heroes do. And what heroes do is they see something that they can't do. They accept that they can't do it and they become the person who can do it. If you tell yourself the truth and the truth is, I'm not happy with where I'm at. That's the truth. The truth is, I can do more. The truth is, I can be in better shape. The truth is, I can work harder than I'm working right now. The truth is, I can't do more for my family. The truth is, I can do much better than I'm doing right now. And if that's the real truth, if that's what you believe, if you believe that to be the truth, you won't have to find more discipline. Discipline will find you. It will wake you up in the morning. Anybody can sit at home and hypothesize about what they could have done successfully. It's easy to hypothesize about the success you could have had because it's safe. It's safe to do when you're not standing in front of the fire. But there's no receipt that proves your success. That's why it's courageous to take on the challenge. And if you are taking on the challenge right now, that right there is a prime example of courage. Because you're being willing to put yourself out there in the name of success. In the name of becoming a greater version of yourself. That's true courage. You're out there actively pursuing it. You are the definition of courage. Push yourself. Push yourself to that point where you feel that thought is coming back. It's time to rest. And when the mind says it's time to rest, that's the point to keep going. That is that threshold which is going to make the difference afterwards. So discovering your limits on the one side is the first thing. Because discovering your limits means you have a vision about what you can do and at the same time the limit is showing you what you cannot do. We're all writing a book. What's your book look like? Your life is a book. You got a bunch of chapters in your book but when they close that book, how good was the book? It is also to that vibe is I don't know what this life is going to bring but there is no alternative. Then when the challenge comes, when life is getting hard, there is no alternative for me than to just keep going. Always believe in yourself. Always be yourself. Always be grateful. We give meanings to the experiences of our life or other people gave meanings to the experiences that we were having. What you believe will dictate your thoughts on a moment by moment basis and then that emotion then dictates what actions you do or do not take and they're always aligned, right? Your beliefs dictate your thoughts, dictate your emotions, dictate your actions which produce your results and your results when you look at them then just reinforce the original belief. That which we tend to pay attention to is aligned with what we believe and so that's all we get. So if you want you know more happiness if you want more wealth, if you want deeper relationships, if you want to have more joy, you want to have more fun, you want to achieve your full potential and really make an impact in the world then what's really important is to get clear on what that could look like for you and to make sure that what you believe is congruent with that outcome because if what you believe is not congruent with that outcome just neurophysiologically you're working against yourself. Clarity is intimately connected to imagination so as we're getting clear on something we're beginning to see what that thing is that we're getting more clarity on. If you're willing to invest time in getting clear around something or imagining you build neural networks that represent the memory of an experience that has not happened yet. Step away from that fear and begin to see that there's wonder and beauty and opportunity all around you. It begins to activate part of your brain that's full of imagination, creativity, and beauty. We are meaning machines. We not only give meaning to meaningless things, we make meaningful things meaningless. But the moment your mind is under the law of generosity, growth, development, unfolding, giving, compassion, kindness, radiance, the moment that that happens you come under the right use of the law. The moment you realize you're here to give something then all thoughts of not enoughness and lack, limitation, fear, doubt, worry, and separation begin to dissolve in your premise every single day of your life is I am and I've got it all. I am I've got it all. Your destiny begins to unfold because you're not here to get from the world. You're not going to get your head lit and walk in that awareness even before it manifests, even before you can see it. This life is for you. You've got to find a story that's going to empower you to act. Complexity is the enemy of execution. The more complex you make it the less likely you're going to execute. If you're creative enough can you find the answer yes or no? If you're determined enough can you find the breakthrough yes or no? If you're passionate loving enough can you get someone to help you yes or no? If there's no way that you're committed can you find the money even if you don't have it yes or no? So I said creativity, decisiveness, passion, honesty, sincerity, love, these are the ultimate human resources and when you engage these resources you can get any other resource on earth. Hey man, lately I've been in a funk. I feel like everything is slipping. I feel like I'm not where I should be, like I'm not who I'm meant to be. I'm seeing all these other people getting ahead and I'm here feeling like I'm running without ever really moving forwards. I'm on this continuous conveyor belt stuck in no man's land, stuck in limbo and I'm tired. This isn't where I was meant to be or who I was supposed to be and the deepest feeling that I have is why? Why am I still here? But in all of that frustration and in the friction of that pain a deep dark part of me speaks and says is that the best you've got? Have you genuinely given it your all? Did you truly go all chips in? And to be honest, to be really honest with you a quiet shameful voice is whispering no, no I haven't. Our society celebrates conquerors and shame surrender but what if I told you surrender can actually be a powerful empowering thing? What if by surrendering we actually find acceptance and in that acceptance we become the conquerors that we're seeking? Now I'm not talking about giving up, let me be clear. I'm talking about the kind of surrender that is about surrendering to the process, surrendering to the work, the art, the art of being studious. Vedic philosophy talks about this that when a man sets aside his pride and he abandons his ego only then can he truly begin with earnestness, the journey of self-development and spiritual growth. In other words when you reach your lowest point we become open to the greatest change. I'm not surprised that I am where I am and you shouldn't be surprised you're getting the results you're getting because what worked for you then it's not going to work for you now and amongst the darkness and demons of doubt what you and I we need to realize is that we are social machines built but also programmed to repeat patterns and in the early days these new patterns that we find or adopt they bring us the excitement of new results. When you do something new it gives you a new fix, a new result but over time these things decay and it's your job to keep continually defining yourself, to abandon and then enlighten our old selves. The shedding of one shell into the next and the next and the next for lifetimes the only constant in all of this is that things are impermanent so don't hold on to what is life is like a river and the waters that are still that you're trying to hold on to are the same waters that crash and swirl around you so change, change and if you want to win if you want to succeed if you want to go beyond this the choice isn't to exit it's to engage. You need to sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself about the kind of life you want to live, the kind of human being that you want to be, the sacrifice and investment that you are going to have to make in order to get there and above all else above all else what are the things that you are going to personally get fulfillment from? So stay away from social media for a time if you need to focus on the goal, focus on the mission, focus on the vision don't chase things because you think it might mean that people rate you more I want you to rate me more, I want you to do it for you and nobody else because that's what real success is, that's a real like not the kind that you get from your feed but the kind that you get from the beating of your own heart your own drum and remember it's okay not to know to have it all figured out you don't need a grand map of your reality and your future your path it's made by walking it so take it one step at a time take it one moment at a time have micro goals sometimes in life you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but you just gotta keep moving forward and I promise you you will come to a better place self-mastering power begins from within if you're aware of who you are if you're aware of what you're good at what you're not good at if you're able to see how emotions kind of govern your life if you can learn what your weaknesses are and how to control them you can't ever get complete control but awareness is almost enough slowly through this process of knowing who you are and understanding other people and how they operate so you don't make stupid mistakes in life you can increase that little tiny margin more and more and more and you will be a person of power we're trying so hard in our lives to fit in we try to fit into certain groups certain frats certain sororities you know among certain friends yet the people we idolize are most are the ones that stand out but when you're prepared there is no fear there is no fear of failure because even if you walk out of something and you feel like you failed at it your preparation is so strong that you're going to take that failure and turn it into the outcome you desire and most people stop at failure we've all failed at things I'm going to continue to fail at stuff it's the most powerful tool you can use but it all depends on how you use it a scalpel in the hands of an individual it can do unbelievable damage in the hands of a professional of a doctor it saves lives so it's the same thing with failure it's how you use it it's that drive inside of you it's what we talk about the dark side the dark side is filled with failure but it's the fuel that burns you like something that's never burned inside you before and on some days you gotta just listen to your soul and you gotta say I'm gonna leap I'm gonna get to the edge most people are at the edge and you're sitting at the edge and you're watching everyone else fly that's pimp my ride watch my crib all this stuff you know watching people's lives on facebook you're at the edge watching someone else live wondering what it's gonna be like when you jump without ever jumping now I'm just here to tell you jump because only three things can happen you're either gonna jump and fly are you gonna jump and fall on something soft are you gonna fall down hard either way you're gonna get back up you already know you got what it takes to get back up your greatest fear is not that you will fall your greatest fear is that you will live a full life and never fly that you never leaped you're not afraid of dying you're afraid of dying before the world sees who you really are before they really get your fingerprint before they really get your contribution if they really feel you that's what you don't want to happen you don't want to leave this place without us knowing you were here there's a process the process begins by first knowing what you really love and believe me a lot of people have no self-awareness they don't even really know what it is that they were meant to do in life they loved music when they were a kid but then they got into law or whatever because of their parents and then they don't know who they are anymore well do I really like music you got to go through that process first of figuring out what it is that really connects to you in a deep visceral way what you loved when you were a kid what still excites you once you go through that and you understand it and you've got some clarity about it okay how do I incorporate that in my life you want better you gotta be better you want change you gotta change the true horror of existence is not the fear of death but the fear of life it is the fear of waking up each day to face the same struggles the same disappointments the same pain it is the fear that nothing will ever change that you are trapped in a cycle of suffering that you cannot escape and in that fear there is a desperation a longing for something anything to break the monotony to bring meaning to the endless repetition of days you listen to other people to their opinions of their blindness it'll beat you up and you'll never be able to reach the goals that you want to reach in life so the answer is to become internally oriented to know what you want to know what your goals are to know what your desires are to know what makes you unique and to put your focus on that and not on other people's expectations of you and remember before you do something special just do something and people say to me well I can't predict my future I'm in the unknown and I always say the best way to predict your future is to create it not from the known but from the unknown what thoughts do you want to fire and wire in your brain what behaviors do you want to demonstrate in one day the act of rehearsing them mentally closing your eyes and rehearsing the action sometimes life is asking you to stop being so worried about everything that's going to go wrong when the reality is you're the one manifesting the thing that you don't want to happen because you're choosing to believe that that's what's going to happen it's always going to feel scary to your ego to do something that it's never done before that's what the fear actually is so it just draws you back to going back to thinking that I don't know if I should do this when the reality is there's an internal part of you that knows it's time for change just learn to trust it because you will come into realization after you make the decision that it was the right decision and you'll feel how it actually helped you let go of that identity that's been dragging you down into a reality that you've already outgrown if your definition of success is win or lose giving everything you've got and growing or learning along the way then you're setting yourself up for success I really think the biggest cheat code in life is just going after it and not being concerned of whether or not you fail at one specific task instead understanding the big picture what your long-term goal is and knowing if you keep driving forward and never freaking quit in the end you will succeed Ralph Waldo Emerson once said to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment so yes staying true to yourself is a powerful act of rebellion your authenticity becomes your greatest strength in an environment that pressures you to fit in I prefer to be the kind of person who steps up from facing a challenge than the kind of person who stays below the line and avoids the challenge what kind of person do you want to be what do you want how badly do you want it how much are you willing to suffer those three questions our high performance face every day only aim for happiness aim for purpose happiness is temporary it comes and it goes like the waves of the ocean so enjoy it as it comes and smile as it fades away purpose touches your soul now pursuing it doesn't always make you happy and a lot of times it actually makes you frustrated and confused it also sometimes brings you joy and adventure but it is complex like a renaissance poem there's ups and there's downs there's twists and turns stagnation and chaos it is pure and that is the journey in which you will be fulfilled you only have one chance at this life you do know that right and if you are always playing that supporting role as ed maillet says when the credits roll at the end of your movie at the end of your life it's just going to say supporting actor number three and it'll have your name don't you want to be the main star don't you want to be the key character in your life story don't you want to make the best decisions human beings have the ability unlike animals because we have the ability to create our reality and my reality is as i pursuit seabird you have the ability to create your reality what you see here in your head is what you will see is your exterior it's always like that i walk into a party i say i don't like that guy you know what i'm right you walk in say that's a wonderful guy you're right too we're both right starting is the hardest part but you've already done that most people never even get to this point they let fear of failure rejection or embarrassment hold them back but you're already ahead of the game because you took action don't waste time worrying about people who doubt you they're just projecting their own insecurities the ones who laugh at you for starting are the ones who are too afraid to start themselves keep pushing real ones will recognize your effort and the rest they don't matter so every time you show up and every time you're on point if you do that on the regular even if every day you're not even making one percent improvements you're making 0.01 percent improvements over time those will add up and those will add up exponentially so on a day-by-day basis i mean you're not going to expect anything crazy but you can become completely unrecognizable you do whatever the hell you want just do it well that's important and don't do any damn thing that you will be ashamed of doing tomorrow isn't it what other people say it doesn't matter but you should not be ashamed of what you have done isn't it so this much you must keep this much pride and freedom you must keep in your life it doesn't matter the whole world says you're wrong but you are not ashamed of what you have done that much you must always keep in your life if that one thing if you give up i'm telling you you'll live a very poor life you may have everything but you'll have nothing