DAY 2 - TOUR DE FRANCE CHALLENGE - CYCLING EVERY STAGE + THE TRANSFERS

Bonjour, it's day numéro deux on my Tour de France challenge and today I'm doing stage two plus a transfer, so overall it is 188 miles, I don't know what that is in kilometers, just under, is it 300? Is that 300k? Yeah, yeah over 300 kilometers, just over 300. Yeah, just over 300 kilometers. I have changed my garmin to kilometers and meters today So it's a first for me. And yeah, it's time to hit the road, it's 5.30 in the morning, so get my electrolytes in my bottles and skedaddle. So stage two is 218 kilometers, but I've just got to ride a couple of miles to get to the start point and then ride back on myself, but I want to make sure I do every stage properly, so yeah. Right, so this is the official start point, this is where Pogacar will have his wheel. Let's roll. They've really gone to town with the decorations in this town. Every roundabout has got decorations. It's great. Kyle, is that you? I mean the bull, not the cyclist. I'm already an hour and a half in, feeling good. Just got to keep on pedaling. Right, I'm two hours and 15 minutes in, about one hour 45 minutes from my first food stop with Kyle, but I just had to stop here because look at this. It's so cute. My hair is shining. I'm shining too, because I'm a sweaty mess. Anyway, oh, I'd love to lie on the beach right now and get in the sea. Yeah. Every time I go for a little village, I'm always looking out for the Tour de France stuff. I think it's, what time is it? Eight o'clock. Four. Seven. Eight. Yeah, eight o'clock. A wheater. Right, I better get on with it then. I'm 67 kilometres in and so far I've had nothing but a headwind. But oh well, you can't choose the weather. You can choose your attitude. That's what I always say. As soon as I get to Kyle, I'm going to have some oil put on my chain because I had a wax chain put on, but there's definitely no wax left on it. It just feels horrible. Like it's making a really loud noise and it's grindy. So I think the wax might have gone. But it's okay. Plenty of oil or lube as they call it in the van, in the car. So I'll get that when I get there. It's Kyle! There's a lot of images of Kyle going on around here. Cows everywhere. I'm only joking, Kyle. Sorry. There was a painting of a cow earlier that I didn't capture and I thought, oh yeah, another one of Kyle. Hey, there he is. A Vache. I believe a cow in front is Vache, I think. Because Kyle always, oh no, is that pig? Oh, no, it's cow. Because Kyle always says to me, you're a petty Vache, which means you're a little cow. So thanks for that, Kyle. Getting my own back. Oh, headwind. I could do without you. It's not giving up today. Could be worse though. Could be raining. So let's get on with it, really. I can see the shining lights of the Kodiak. It's Kyle! Hey. Oh, yes, bananas. You all right? Oh, headwind. We all right? Headwind. I've had a nightmare. Why? You know what I've left at the accommodation? What? The rice in the fridge. Oh, it doesn't matter. What do you mean the rice? What we cooked last night. Pasta? Pasta, yeah. For lunch? Yeah. That is a nightmare. That is a nightmare, yeah. I've literally just realised. I've bought stuff, haven't I? I've bought bananas, yoghurts. That's my tub as well that I need. Yeah, I've got more tubs. That's not what I'm worried about. Yeah, but for lunch, I need pasta or rice. I'm really hungry. I'll get it when we find out. No, I've literally just realised now. Oh, Kyle. Yeah, that's really bad. Like, I need a big lunch. I've got 200k to do. I've done 104k. I've still got 200k to do. I'm starving. Well, I've bought you a whole bunch of bananas, like the apple thing. And then I'll go and get you some pasta for the next stop. Right, so I've had two apple things. I'm just going to carry on going with the bananas. No, I can't. I need something savoury. I can't eat anything else sweet. I've eaten so much sweet stuff. Right. I feel really bad for being mardy at Kyle then, but I was just so like looking forward to that pasta. We made it last night. Tuna pasta with peas and mushrooms and peppers. And I was going to have half then and half at the next stop, but he forgot it and it's in the fridge where we stayed last night. So some other blooming bugger will be eating that. It's okay. I had a couple of apple parts. I've had a banana. I'm going to have another bar in a minute. And Kyle's going to get me a baguette with peanut butter in. So that'll be in 40 miles time. So I'll just battle the headwind now and keep going. And dream of my peanut baguette and hope it's there this time. I just had another dagger to the heart. I've just realised I would have left my chocolate in the fridge as well. Last night Kyle bought me some 99% cocoa, like cacao chocolate. I love dark chocolate and that was in that fridge too. So oh well. Treats for the next guests that arrive. Just come to the top of a little burn baby burn. It's getting humid. In a way though, it's kind of good because it's like 27 degrees today. And obviously as I go further into the tour and go further south, it's going to get hotter. So I'm hoping that's going to help me like heat the climatise slowly, but it is very humid. And I can taste salt on my lips. So I've got a sweaty upper lip right now. Not too, uh, not really a nice thought for you watching this. Sorry. The headwind's not giving up and I did the stupid thing of zooming out on my Garmin to see, or I wonder if I change direction and I don't. Going this way all the way to the end of stage two but then I think the transfer will be back the opposite way. So the last bit of the ride, hopefully I'll have a tailwind. Kyle put oil on my chain at the last stop and it's rolling smooth again now. Pantera's happy. It's not making a crunchy, like grindy noise anymore. So that's good. And I know that Kyle didn't mean to forget the pastor, obviously, so I'm not annoyed at him. I just was a bit mardy because I've been dreaming of it. So I'll say sorry to him when I next see him. I feel a bit bad but I was a bit grouchy. So sorry, Kyle. Bonjour, Vash. Hello, mate. Yippee! Woohoo! Oh, the headwind is not letting up. It's getting stronger. But nothing I can do. Just got to get on with it and enjoy the downhills. Right, I've just pulled up to Kyle. I'm 158 kilometers in, so just under 100 miles. So I was like, oh, yeah, a bit early. And I've walked along to this arrangement. Apples galore. Have I made up? Yes, you have made up. Fresh pears. What's this? Oh, is that, um? Oh, yeah. Fresh pears. Oh, is that a variety of ham? This is heaven and I can sit in the comfort of the scooter. I've got 65k left of um, I'll have a baguette and ham and everything, really. Oh, and salad. Yeah, I got some salad to put in your baguette. I thought that'd be quite nice. 65k left of the stage two, Kyle. And then I'm not going to think about the transfer yet. Have I redeemed myself? You've definitely redeemed yourself. Thank you. That was absolutely great. Kyle knows how to make a good picnic. Picnic. Mood is boosted. 65k left of stage two. And then on to the transfer. So feeling good over halfway through the day. Really grateful for Kyle. He didn't mean to make his mistake earlier. All is forgiven. All is fair in love and war. Oh, blooming heck. Bad. Yeah, this is a nice little place. Montreal. It's kind of historical. I think I did see a sign saying historic village because it is quite like old looking. So it's nice. Oh, we're cobbling. Gee whiz. Oh, not your basket. Just come up a little burner. I've got eight climbs left in stage two. There was 28 all together today. Very little pipsqueaks compared to the Alps though. So I'm just trying to keep it in perspective. There's the sea in the distance. I've got that French song in my head now. The one that goes I love that song. Me and my friend used to sing it when we were at school. I think it's off like the Mr. Bean movie or something. So little things like that just keep me sane while I'm riding. Although I probably don't appear very sane right now. Sorry about that. Oh lovely. We've got a burner. Hey, someone's been on with spray paint here. They're already ready for the pros. They'll be here on the 8th of July. So yeah They're a lot quicker than me. It's a burner. Hey I'm gutted because I had some of my Chester stickers with me and they dropped out my pocket. So I'm going to have to be more careful with them. Um Yeah, I'm not very happy about that, but oh well. Hopefully someone will pick them up and have a laugh at Chester's face with his little Grenadiers hat on. Anyway, climb bites the dust. Onwards we go. Hopefully by the time I get to the end of the stage and turn around to come back, there'll be a tailwind. Please. Almost at the end of stage two and I've got a burner to finish me off. I'll see you at the top. Glumminack burn baby burn This was not a fun one. Nearly at the top now though. Got one more burner I think before the end of stage two. I'm on the finishing straight of stage two. It finishes on a little climb nearly there and then it'll be time for the transfer. It's quite nice here. There's a wedding going on up here. Hey, so that's stage two ding dang done. Now I've got to load up the transfer, but here's the finish. So that's 223 kilometers down. I'll be back in a minute with what I've got to do next, but I'm glad to be here. Okay, now I've got an 84 kilometer transfer to do. So looking like this a bit hilly, but 84k to go. So not too bad considering what I've already done today. I'll give Kyle a little bell and get on my way. I think he's either going to drive out to meet me or ride out to meet me. I'm not sure but a little pick and then keep going. Right, I've got a random to take a quick picky for me. They also follow me on Instagram. So thanks for that random French guy. And I've just wiped down a smoothie and I forgot to say where I am. I'm in Boulogne-sur-Mer. Sorry if I said that wrong. Anyway, time to head now to the place where stage three starts. So 84 kilometers. I'm sorry, repeating myself. Kyle, good luck editing this. 244 kilometers down, 63-ish kilometers to go. I'm feeling very hot and sweaty, but Kyle's told me he's going to come and meet me before the end with extra water and electrolytes. So that's good. And I'm going to stop in a minute and have a bit of my baguette that's hopefully not too sweaty. Actually, it's here. I've been munching on it a little bit. And yeah, I've just downed some little gel, not gel, but like little chewy sweet things that are like really high in carb. So hoping that'll get me to the end. Finally got a bit of a tailwind. So that's nice. But it's the same image I've had all pretty much day. All pretty much day? I've gone doolally pretty much all day. The actual joke of this is that where I'm staying tonight is literally really close to where we stayed last night because the tour is so back and forward at the start. So yeah, thanks for that tour organisers making me go here, there and everywhere. Mealworm! If you know, you know, the video with my sister in, she always shouts it. So I was just thinking about a mealworm. I wonder what mealworm is in French. I'll have to look that up. I don't have a clue what it'll be. Dejeuner is breakfast. But no, dejeuner is dinner. But it's not dinner, it's meal. So I'm going to google that later. Mealworm! I was just talking to myself and then Kyle pulled over past me. Oh, am I glad to see him because I'm on my last sip of water. Hallelujah. I said he's going to pull in up here. Thanks Kylie. Oh, that really lifted my spirits. I was just thinking, oh, it's probably going to be like another hour till Kyle's with me. I better stop somewhere for water, but the man's on it. Buon appetita. There's the mean man. Yeah. I was literally talking to myself as you drove past me, it made me jump. I was like talking out loud for how many miles I had left. I didn't want to beep at you. You did beep at me. Yeah, I didn't want to but you weren't paying attention. Did you see me talking to myself? It was really annoying though because the tracker showed you coming over this hill, parked on a good spot. I thought, oh, it's just immaculate timing. Yeah. And then I checked it again and you were down the road. So I went to where you were and you were miles away from it. Which is kind of gorgeous. I've got 35 miles to go, just a mere club ride. But it's just very rolling now. Now I'll be done at about half seven, I think. It's taking me a bit longer because of the headwind, but I'm not bothered about that. It's not a headwind now. No, it's not now, but it was for 200k. Yeah, actually I've got a tailwind now. I'm enjoying it. I'm not complaining. I've done a bit of complaining today, but it's actually, you know, I'm very in a really good position to be able to do this. I'm very grateful to be able to do it and what I'm doing is nowhere near as hard as what people with mental health problems struggle with every day and their families struggle with. So nothing that I face on this challenge is going to be as hard as that. Direct tailwind all the way to Bethune. Whatever it's called. It's called Bethune, but I call it Bethune because I'm with the Bethune. I call it Bethune. Because you're a Bethune. Um, I had to go through a toll. Toll tag worked immaculately. Well done. So, what's your POA now then? Drive back. Yeah. By the time you get back, I'll have 20 miles. By the time you get back, I'll have 15 miles, um, I'll have 20 miles left to go. By the time I get back? Yeah. So I might be able to come out and do 10. Might be able to do 20 miles. If you want to, spin your legs. Don't bother going in the pit, just come out in shorts. You can wear normal shorts if you want. No. You can move settings. I saw a button. Well, you can put your bib shorts on, but you can just come in a normal t-shirt if you want. Right. Where's the donkey? Kyle's lost Pepe and I'm really upset. I might have lost him, he's about somewhere. You better find him. He's definitely about, because you're more, I nearly left him in Leo. I was thinking about him earlier and I was thinking Pepe in a cell. And I was like, oh, I want to get Pepe actually. I want to see him and give him a stroke. But, where is he? I nearly left him in Leo, but your mum saved the day. You better not have done. No, I didn't. Your mum looked and you see. Where is he then? He's in there somewhere. He's in a bag somewhere. I don't know what bag, which bag, where. We've got a car full of bags. What's the apartment like? And a bike with a bag on it. What? What's the apartment like? It's good. Will he be happy? Yes. Bigger than last night. Well, that's not hard. Last night, he couldn't swing a blooming cat round. Couldn't swing Pepe in a cell round. Couldn't swing Pepe in a cell round, no. Well, he couldn't because we've blooming lost him. We haven't lost him. He's not temporarily misplaced. Right, anyway, what time is it? Ten past five. Doing well. What time have you got left? 11.30 then, 35 miles. I'm so glad you're here because I was struggling a little bit. We've only got 58k, haven't you? That's nothing. As my friend Jesse Yates says, tap it out. Tap it out. Take it steady. It's fair, you've got a nice cell in there. I just roll in it all so you get enough. What donation do we have? Can I have a look? Have you not seen? No. Let me show you on wire. No, no, I'll load it because I want to see. I like loading it. I've not checked since last night. What were we on last night? 7,000 or something, weren't we? 6,700, weren't it? Yeah, not to see. I know what we're on. Do you? How do you know if you're looking? Well, I looked the other day when you messaged me a link. My aim is 10,000. 10,083. Told you. What the hell? I've got Kodak with you. Kodak? Kodak. Keep calling it the Kodak. Kodak camera, I think this is the moment. Yeah. I can't believe it. I brought it with me. Second day in. I can't believe it. Mental, mate. We're going to help like so many people with that. Yeah, it's incredible. Counseling sessions and everything. Makes you feel good as well. I feel a bit emotional. It's what you did with it. I feel emotional. No, you all do. Right, I need to get the Kodak out. Am I in a dream? Yeah, can we get the Kodak out for this? Because that is... What the actual... What the actual hell? I can't believe it, Kyle. Honestly, I'm in so much shock. Like, thank you so much to everyone that's donated. I can't believe it. Like, this is... I didn't think people would donate that much. And yeah, Kyle's getting the Kodak. As I call it, the Kodiak. I think it's because our car's called a Kodiak. I didn't see one of these as I went to... Basically, Pinarello were doing a film about this ride. And they've given us this to do one photo a day. Sorry, we kind of forgot yesterday. But I think this is a good moment to take a photo. We've hit the target in day two. I'm so grateful. Like, the reason I'm doing this is to help people. And I know that's going to make a difference. So thank you so much. Like, I honestly didn't... I doubted we'd get that target. So thank you, everyone that's donated. Thank you so much. Right, there's been a few hills today. I've not danced any of them. But I think it's time for a £10,000 donation dance. It's got to be a big one, ain't it? Hey! We've got 10,000 bolognese. Not bolognese. We've got 10,000 smackaroonies. What the hell? What the hellie? All right, let's get this ride ding-dang done. I'm really motivated now. Well, it's on your duty to be done now. I'm going to be smiling all the way back. I'm clocking out soon, if you don't hurry up. I've done my hours. Unfortunately, you don't get to clock out. You're married to me. Now, get on with it. Bye, Kylie! There he is. Oh, I'm gone. He can't overtake me here. He was on the brow of a hill. Hopefully, he came to a nice, safe overtake of me. Clear. Here he comes. Can I have a sticky bottle? Get the sticky bottle. All right, see you. I love you. I just can't believe we've hit the target. I'm so happy. I've got 35 miles to go today. I'm going to enjoy them without the camera and just reflect. But thank you so much. The reason I'm doing this is because when I started cycling, to be totally honest, I didn't want to be here. Really, really struggling. I didn't really see a future and I'm so glad I did have that future because look where I am now and I'm so grateful for everything I've gotten. Yeah, I'm just happy to be here. So I hope that other people that struggle can get to the place I am and that that money will help the charity to help people. So yeah, I'll see you at the end of the ride. Actually, no, I'll see you when Kyle joins me. I'd love to get Kyle on the cam. Seven or eight miles to go and look who's rocked up. Hey Kyle, next meal behind me, please. I don't want any, I don't want any drafting. I don't want to cheat. That was definitely a headwind on the way out. Yeah. Did you feel the headwind? I had that headwind for like 230 or 40k today. What snacks you got? Oh, please be careful. Oh yeah, I love them. I'll have one of them now. 300k down baby. That's uh, how many k did I do yesterday? 230. 530k down from the challenge. Still a long way to go. And that's my ride. Ding, dang, doodly-o. We're in Bethune, the start of stage three. Kyle's in Bethune. And uh, I'm going to go in the accommodation now and I'll do the ride stats once I've had my shower because that's the priority. So yeah, that feels good. That does because that was hard today in that wind. Let me tell you. Anyway. Hey Kyle, I'm 9% heat, heat acclimatized apparently. That should be on a hundred by the end of this trip. Oh, my Di2 needs charging by the way. Di2 needs charging because I didn't actually charge it. I knew that it was charged before we came, but I didn't fully charge it. And I'm riding on the Rella tomorrow for the TT boss. Anyway, let's go and get a shower. Oh, this is a nice little boudoir. We've got the bed there. Kyle's got everything out ready for me. Got my yoga mat ready to stretch. Porridge out for the morning. Oh, that's the cherry juice. Did you measure it out? Yeah. So this is what the pros have apparently. It's really good for recovery. Sweet. Hey, look at these. Kyle, biscuits. And then there's your normal water there. That I've put in the fridge for you. In your flask and at the bottom. Thank you so much. This is nice. Got the bikes in with us. Thanks bae. Right, I'm going to have a shower. Bloomin' heck, Kyle. You've done a right good job here. Your bike's in here. Let's have a look at the bathroom. Ooh, it's nice. Nice big shower. Get a shrink in there. Right, bottom's up. I'll be back with the stats in a min. Right then, so I've had my shower. I've had my dinner. I'm looking like a hot mess and I feel like one. The ride stats are in. I did 190.83 miles or that is 405 kilometers. Sorry, my Strava's still in miles and feet. I went up 11,263 feet. Kyle will put the meters here, won't you, Kyle? And my bum was in the saddle for 12 hours and 31 minutes. Average speed 15.2 miles an hour, so. Perfect. Not too bad, but I'm ready to... Oh, what's that? You can't relax just yet. I'm ready to relax. I'm ready to slip into sweet slumber because tomorrow I've got 170 miles. I got it a bit wrong though. The stage three doesn't actually start from here. I've got like a 50-something mile transfer and then stage three, which finishes in Dunkirk where we were the other day, Kyle. You could go to have a nice cafe, couldn't you? While I'm pedaling. It's that nice one in Dunkirk we went to in the big glass house. Yeah, but I don't have one all the time. I wish we did. Anyway, yeah, it's time to go really. Thank you so much for watching. Thanks to everyone that's donated. Thanks to all the sponsors of this ride that's made it possible, who are going to be on the next screen. And yeah, Kyle, good luck with editing this. Thank you so much for watching. TT to the FN. Ta-ta for now. Goodbye. Kyle, do you want to say goodbye? Goodbye. Oh, Kyle, by the way, tomorrow, please can you try and find Pepe, the mascot. I will find him. Because I'm upset about that. Oh, let's finish with the crunch test because I've been looking forward to this all day. I have bought you two batches though. Well, I'm going to... I've put some in the fridge. I've got both in the fridge, right? I'll put the other pack in the fridge. I know, one's been in the fridge. Let's assess which we think... Two. By the way, do you like my colour coordination right now? Because I think this purple really matches with this red. Hold on, which ones are already in there? The Jazzers? These ones are already in there. The Garlas. Right, so we've got the Garlas. Now, Garlas, to be honest, aren't normally a cruncher. They are normally a musher, even in the UK. Jazzers, you can normally... Jazz, you can normally rely on them. But actually, these Garlas do feel really crunchy. They're quite cheap. £2.98, that's quite good. Oh, that feels... I did feel them. Well, I'll give you a tip. If you're in a supermarket, don't let anyone see you. Just give it a... No, I did, I felt them. Give it a quick... If it mushes in, you know it's a... No, I did feel them. Sometimes you can't tell. You told me this before. Because sometimes you can't tell. Sometimes it feels hard and it just lets you down on the crunch. Let's see. I've got high hopes for this, Kyle. Because Jazz are my favourite, so... Sounds like a crunch. It's a really good cruncher. Now, I'm going to give that crunch 9 out of 10. I have had crunchy before, but that is really high up in the crunch scale. Taste, probably a 7, doesn't taste... Well, probably actually a 6. It tastes kind of like water, but it's nice. And I probably need some water after today. Tomorrow's going to be 31 degrees. Anyway, goodbye.