I Got Rid of 90% of My Stuff...Here's What Happened ⧸⧸ minimalism + letting go

Ten years ago, I stood in the middle of a house overflowing with 30 years of clutter and quietly made a decision that would change my life forever. And over the next three years, my family and I got rid of over 90% of everything that we owned, downsizing our entire lives down to only eight boxes and suitcases in the process. Looking back, I'm still in awe how what started as a simple conversation with a neighbor about something called decluttering morphed into a journey that completely transformed every square inch of my home and life. Yes, of course, my home is cleaner, tidier, and clutter-free, but I never expected that my finances, my relationships, my stress levels, my confidence, and even my self-worth would be completely transformed as well. Five years ago, I shared my hoarder to minimalist journey and that video ended up going viral and has now been seen by almost 3 million people around the world, which is mind-blowing to me. Back when I made that video, I thought I was sharing the happy ending to my story, but little did I know that that was just the beginning. Because over the next five years, life would bring unexpected opportunities, painful losses, and more than a few emotional highs and lows. Yet through it all, the lessons I've learned about simplifying and letting go have become an anchor that I return to again and again. Hi there, friends, and welcome or welcome back to my channel. My name is Marissa and this is AIDS is in Life, and in honor of the 10-year anniversary of what would become this channel, today I'm sharing 10 of my favorite tips and lessons from a decade of decluttering and minimalism. Let's dive in, starting with number one on this list, which is that clutter is literally killing us. After 10 years of decluttering and minimalism, I've become convinced of something. Clutter isn't just annoying, it's an epidemic. Today, the average American home contains hundreds of thousands of items, storage units have become a multi-billion dollar industry, and despite owning more stuff than any generation before us, many people are struggling more than ever. It's now been over a decade since researchers at UCLA shared their groundbreaking research that linked excessive household clutter to high cortisol levels, leading to higher stress levels, increased anxiety, reduced focus, poor sleep quality, and even unhealthy eating habits. And in my opinion, things have only gotten worse since then. If you want to dive into the scientific research and stories behind this, I highly recommend that you check out this book, which I will link down below for you. But honestly, most of us don't need a scientific study to prove this to us, because we can feel it when we look around our home. In every unopened pile of mail on your countertops, in all of the clothes piled up on your floor or a chair in your bedroom, in the junk drawer that you avoid opening, and your garage that's so full of stuff that you don't even have room to park your car inside. And that was one of the biggest surprises from my decluttering journey, which was that decluttering didn't just make my home look better, it also made me feel better. Decluttering was hard at first, but then I found that the more I let go of, the lighter and freer I felt, and the more time and peace and energy I was giving back to myself by getting rid of those things. I recently had to go back to my hometown in Indiana and had the chance to spend time with a loved one who is nearing the end of her life, and it reminded me of something important, which is that no one sits on their deathbed and wishes that they had owned more stuff. Nobody wishes they had a bigger junk drawer or a fuller closet or more bins in their garage. What people miss and reminisce about are the moments that they spent together and the experiences that they had or that they missed out on. And I think that's why decluttering matters so much, because every item you remove creates a little bit more space for the things that actually matter the most. And that actually leads me nicely to number two, which is that people have lost sight of the fact that minimalism is actually kind of normal. Nowadays, between all the brainwashing that's been done over the past decades to convince us that more is better and being bombarded with constant ads and marketing every single day, it seems like minimalism is this counter-cultural movement and minimalists are crazy people. I get this a lot on my channel and people can be pretty condescending about it. Over the years, I've been called everything from toxic to boring to a sad beige mom, because apparently my choice to intentionally own fewer things is deeply offensive to certain groups of people. But if you zoom out and look at human history, minimalism isn't actually weird at all. It's normal and even natural. And what's weird is the amount of stuff that we own nowadays. As Japanese minimalist Fumio Sasaki wrote in his book Goodbye Things, all of us entered this world as minimalists owning nothing and that is how we will leave this world. And what's even more fascinating is that this isn't even a modern idea at all. And in fact, if you look back 2,000 years ago, Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote, what are you afraid of losing when nothing in this world belongs to you? 2,000 years ago, one of the most powerful men on the earth was reminding himself not to get attached to possessions, outcomes, or people. But flash forward to today and nowadays, not only are our homes so overflowing with stuff that we have to buy storage units to contain all the excess things that perhaps even belong to our parents and grandparents that we haven't even touched or thought about in years and yet we're still out there trying to chase more. Ask yourself this question. What is scarier to you, the idea of letting go and getting rid of your clutter or the idea that you spend your entire life collecting and curating material possessions that you can't take with you when you leave this world and are eventually going to end up in a landfill someday? The problem isn't that minimalism is extreme. The problem is that overconsumption has become so normalized that simplicity feels radical. Number three, your home was meant to be living space, not storage space. One of the biggest lies that people tell themselves about their stuff is that they need a bigger home or a bigger kitchen or more cabinets or more closet space so that they can fit all of their stuff inside of it. But your stuff should fit into your home and life and not the other way around. About halfway through my decluttering journey, I started asking myself a simple question to help me filter through the decisions about what to keep, what to let go of, and the question was, am I treating my home as a living space or am I treating it like it's a storage space? My slow cooker and instant pot spent more time collecting dust than they did cooking. I spent more time buying and piling up books than actually reading them. And I spent more time cleaning up toys than my kids spent playing with them. So for me, it was a huge wake-up call when I realized I wasn't using my home to live in, I was using it to store a bunch of stuff. Things from my past, things for a future that might never come, things that had been left behind by my parents or grandparents and that I felt guilty about getting rid of, and things I was keeping just in case. But the moment that I decided to stop treating my home as if it were a museum for the past or a warehouse to store things that I might need for the future was the moment that everything changed. And at the end of the day, the goal isn't to own more or less stuff, the goal is to live more life. Sorry, the sun is going in and out of the clouds like crazy, so I had to adjust my seating a little bit. But that leads me to number four, which is that letting go just might unexpectedly unblock a better future. Did you know that there's a certain kind of pine cone that only opens and spreads its seeds after a wildfire? And it's only after a wildfire clears out all of the competing vegetation that the resin seal that locks the pine cones shut is able to open and release the seeds inside to form the new growth that will eventually later become a forest. And I think that many people's decluttering and letting go journey is a lot like those pine cone seeds. I mean, I know mine was. When I think back to how I lost my mom when I was nine years old and then lost my father in my early 20s and lost seven people that same year and then ended up losing my childhood home, I remember how painful and devastating that felt. Like it was the most awful thing that could ever happen in the world to me, which at the time it absolutely was. I'm not trying to diminish that or anyone else who's going through a very painful time right now. But then because I had said goodbye to my parents and my childhood home, I felt less tethered to my hometown, which meant that I wasn't as afraid as I might otherwise have been to move away and go to Chicago to the fantastic college that I'd been accepted to. And then if I had never done that, I probably would have never met my husband. We would have never had our two beautiful children. And I would have never had the opportunity to live in so many cool places around the world, like China and Germany, and then come back here to Chicago. So now it's become like a full circle moment. And then there's also probably a good chance that I never would have embarked upon my decluttering and minimalism journey and let go of the 30 years of clutter that I'd been accumulating since my mother's passing when I was nine years old. And this has been on my mind a lot lately because just this past week, I went back to my hometown to visit one of my dearest loved ones who is actually closely related to my mother. And I witnessed firsthand what an inability to let go both of stuff and of the past can do to someone and just how much it can drag them down. I've lost count of how many times I've begged this loved one to let me help them declutter and downsize their home over the past decade. And now that they're on their deathbed, it's too late and I no longer have the chance to change their lives. I might feel comfortable opening up about this more in the future. And I will definitely update you if I get the chance to go back and help their spouse declutter and downsize because I did put that out there to them. And it seems like they might be interested in doing that. The family members that are being left behind are even questioning if after decluttering and downsizing, they might even want to sell the family farm and move to somewhere else for a fresh start. And hearing that, I had mixed feelings, you know, because I had already lost my childhood home. And then to hear that we might also let go of the family farm that's been in our family for four generations since my great-great-grandparents immigrated from Hungary all those years ago. But then after I felt those feelings wash over me, I just reminded myself how powerful it is to let go both of stuff and the past. And I know that for some people, letting go is one of the best things they can ever do for themselves and their health and their very future. And what I found helpful for me in times like this is to focus not on what I'm getting rid of or what I'm quote-unquote losing with my decluttering or downsizing, but rather what I stand to gain from the process. Next up, number five is that there's no one size fits all method for decluttering that's going to work for every single person. When it comes to decluttering, there's no shortage of decluttering books or methods out there. You've got Swedish death cleaning. You've got the KonMari method. You've got the 30-Day Minimalism Challenge. I actually started with the KonMari method after reading Marie Kondo's book in the first place, which was recommended to me by my neighbor. But what I found was that a lot of her tips and methods didn't really work so well for me, especially as a busy mom. And in fact, she later came out and said that things have become much, much harder for her in terms of decluttering and keeping her home tidy after having kids. So that's why I personally believe in and teach my students what I consider to be values-based decluttering, which means that you declutter and organize your home based on your own lifestyle needs and values instead of having a strict system that you can only do one way. Because there's absolutely no way that a 75-year-old widower in the boondocks of Kentucky who's trying to downsize her five-bedroom home is going to have the same decluttering experience as a 26-year-old mom of two living in a 900-square-foot condo in New York City. Those two women are going to have different priorities, different values, and are in a completely different season of their life. So how in the world would they be able to follow the same copy and paste declutter method? Just like the saying goes, if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. But if you teach him how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. The same thing goes with decluttering and organizing. When I teach people how to declutter here on my YouTube channel and in my decluttering course, my goal isn't to help them create a home that looks exactly like mine or a home that looks like something that they saw on Pinterest or Instagram. The goal is to help them figure out how to create a home that supports the lifestyle they want to live. That actually reminds me of a comment I got recently on my channel from someone who loves anime and manga, which is something that I also love. And this person said, I used to have a large anime figurine collection and I'm kind of embarrassed to say I probably spent around $10,000 on those over the past eight years. I really loved and treasured some of the figures but realized over time a lot of them were impulse purchases I made when I was going through struggles with my mental health. Once I started living a more minimalist life, I realized I didn't have emotional or sentimental attachment to the majority of the figurines and so I decided to let them go. And then a little bit further down in that comment, they also wrote, you were the first minimalist creator who I saw that teaches people you can still own items that are useful or sentimental and still be a minimalist. I really appreciate that. I absolutely love reading comments like that because it just goes to show you that decluttering isn't just about getting rid of stuff and minimalism isn't about owning as little as possible. It's about being more intentional with everything from how you spend your money to what you choose to give space to in your home and life. And the journey to figuring out what that looks like is something that's going to look different for every single one of us. And speaking of which, if you're currently on a journey to declutter or downsize your home or life and you'd like a little bit more support or hand-holding through that process, I wanted to let you know that right now my five-star rated decluttering course, Clutter GPS, is now on sale just in time for summer. And not only will my decluttering course guide you step-by-step through the process of decluttering and organizing your home, but you'll also be able to create more financial freedom in your life with some of the free bonuses that are included, such as my free mini-course on how to get rid of or even sell your clutter for extra cash, and my 50-page minimalist budget bundle to help you be more intentional with your spending, do no-buy challenges, and so much more. So if you're ready to simplify your way to a happier, richer, and freer life, I will be sure to link to my course down in the description box and pinned comment below, so be sure to check that out. Number six is that decluttering is not a waste. One fear that I've found holds a lot of people back from decluttering is this fear that they're wasting something, wasting money, wasting resources, or creating environmental waste, which don't get me wrong, I completely understand where these people are coming from. But what you have to understand is that the money is wasted when you bought the thing that you didn't need or use, not when you get rid of it. Piling up unread books on your bookshelf or storing an unused bread maker in your basement for 10 years doesn't magically un-waste the money that you spent on those things, it just creates clutter. And here's another uncomfortable truth that a lot of people don't like to hear, which is that everything is eventually going to end up in a landfill one day, from your clothes, to your furniture, to your gadgets, and even the things you love most from your prized Hummel figurine collection, to your stuffed animals. Nowadays my philosophy is anything can be useful, but nothing is useful if you don't actually use it. So the question you have to ask yourself is whether you're willing to spend the next 10, 20, 30, or even 50 years storing them, which is probably just making you feel overwhelmed and guilty and deferring something that's going to eventually happen anyway. Whenever possible, I encourage you to responsibly donate, sell, recycle, or re-home your clutter. But sometimes we have to accept that trash is just trash, or that no one wants our stuff. And that means giving ourselves permission to throw away something that's broken, expired, stained, or unusable, or even things that are perfectly good, but that we can't find anyone to take, but that we no longer want, can be incredibly freeing. Because just like your home was never meant to be a storage unit, it's also not meant to be a landfill, and you shouldn't treat it like one. Number seven on this list might be a little bit controversial, and that is that remembering is not the same thing as regretting. A lot of people are surprised when they hear over the past 10 years of decluttering and getting rid of over 90% of my belongings that I've never regretted getting rid of a single item, because there were some deeply sentimental things that had belonged to my parents or my grandparents that I had very strong emotional ties to, and that I even cried over so much. But letting go of those things was exactly what I needed to do, and I haven't regretted getting rid of a single one of them. The other day when I was visiting my hometown, I went to the mall that I used to work at to say hi to some of the friends that still work there, and while I was there, I realized that one of the units in there had been converted to a vintage flea market. And I decided to just walk through that area, and I saw so many things that reminded me of things that I myself had decluttered in the past. There were some old-fashioned glass floral lamps that looked like ones that had belonged to my mother, as well as precious moment figurines, and Barbie dolls, and long a burger baskets that looked just like some of the collections that I have gotten rid of. And the truth is, I had completely forgotten about a lot of those things until I saw them at that moment in the flea market. And so when I did see them, all I could think of was how grateful I was that past me was able to have the courage to let those things go. Because seeing them just reminded me that they have no place in my home or life, and they belong to a past version of me that no longer exists. Even if you regret getting rid of one or two items during your decluttering journey, considering that most people let go of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of items, that is probably less than one percent of what you got rid of. And the benefits of getting rid of that amount of clutter vastly outweigh the downsides. I've never regretted letting go of over 90% of my belongings, but what I have regretted is all the years I spent letting clutter steal my time, space, energy, and peace of mind. And if I had to choose between those two regrets, I'd choose letting go every single time. The eighth thing I want to talk about is the power of decluttering the yeses. One of the hardest decluttering lessons I've learned is that sometimes you have to be okay with letting go of the yeses and getting rid of stuff that you like. Not because they're bad or because they're broken, but because they no longer fit into your life, or because your home is too small to accommodate them, or maybe because you don't use them enough to justify keeping them. When we moved into this home around two years ago, I bought this beautiful green glass vase intending to put it on my dining room table to hold flowers. But the problem with that glass vase was that I was too afraid to use it because it was a little bit top heavy and unsteady, and I was afraid that if I were to actually put flowers in it and put it on my dining room table, my kids were going to knock it over and break it. So instead, what I did is I put it in the cabinet and I just let it sit there for two years and use other vases instead. But in the end, I had to take my own decluttering and minimalism advice and accept that if I'm not using it, or loving it, or benefiting from it, then there's no point in keeping it in my home. If you struggle with letting go of perfectly good or beautiful items like this, here's a gentle reminder that good things can be cluttered too, and some things cost more when you keep them. Lesson number nine is that there's no magic number when it comes to decluttering and minimalism. This is another mistake that's especially common with beginners, which is that thinking there's some magic number of items that will finally make you feel happy. Numbers I see getting thrown around a lot are owning less than a thousand items, or owning less than a hundred items, or even owning less than 50 items. But the problem with this is the moment you start focusing on a number, decluttering becomes a quantitative question instead of a qualitative question, and that's completely missing the point. In my opinion, minimalism isn't about owning as little as possible, it's about owning exactly the right amount for your own life. Some people might be perfectly happy not owning a couch, or a bed, and sleeping on a futon on the floor, or even downsizing all of their material possessions so that they can fit into a small backpack. But for me, that kind of lifestyle is just too extreme. I like having a couch to sit on and read a nice book. I like having a king-sized bed that my husband and I can spread out in and snuggle our children with. And one quote that I shared that's been published in several major news sites is that you should never try to declutter yourself into a box that fits someone else's idea of minimalism. And finally, number 10 is that decluttering is only 25% of the formula that's going to get you to a clutter-free home and life. If 10 years of decluttering and minimalism have taught me anything, it's that decluttering is just the beginning. Anyone can declutter a room, but the real challenge is changing the habits that created the clutter in the first place and keeping the clutter away. Because if your shopping habits don't change, your mindset doesn't change, and your relationship with stuff and your home doesn't change, then the clutter will eventually come creeping right back every single time. And that's why I know right down to my bones that decluttering is only 25% of the formula and the other 75% is learning to consume less, appreciate more, and build habits and systems that keep your home organized and clutter-free. And I call this the table rule. And if you want to know more about that and the four pillars that will help you achieve a home that always stays clean, tidy, and clutter-free, be sure and go check out this video or I'll see you next week. Until then, take care. Bye-bye.