The Pretender | Full Movie | A Dave Christiano Film

Look at Sandy, man. Boy, she really ballooned over the summer. She's bigger than anyone on the football team. She's bigger than the whole team, man. Hey, hey, Marcy Adams did it over the summer. Did what? She got uglier! Hey, there's Donna Perkins. Can you believe Richard went out with her this summer? Yeah, I can't let Richard go out with anybody. Hey, hey, hey, Robin Williamson's looking pretty good. Yeah, but she's still dating that college dude. Nah, he can have her. She ain't that good. Look at this. First day of school and we got the same dogs as last year. Yeah, I can see I'm going to be lowering my standards again this year. Since when do you have any standards, Dean? What do you mean? Nick Tanya was nice. Tanya? She was a negative on a one to ten. You were just jealous. No, she was a loser. Look who's talking about dating losers. Hey, who are you kidding? I get the best. Oh, right, Keith. No girl in her right mind's going to go out with you this year. What? With the way you use them and you're on every chick's black list. Yeah. Yeah? Everybody's but one. Take a look at Dana. Is that Stratton? Boy, she really grew up over the summer. She looks pretty good. She looks real good. Yeah, she looks good enough. You can't get a date with Stratton. She'd never go out with you. Why not? Because she's super religious. So what? She's a girl. She's not going to go out with a guy like you. You know, you guys amaze me. Here you are my best friends and you're telling me I can't get Stratton? Thought you knew my technique by now. What technique? Who'd I date last summer? Kelly. How'd I get her? You got lucky. Yeah, yeah, you wish. She was into art. So? So I got to know a little bit about art. I read a book, went to a museum, and then I asked her out to an exhibit. From that time on, she thought I was Keith Picasso. Then a couple months later, I got what I wanted and dumped her. Sounds like a lot of trouble to go through just for a girl. Look, let's just call it homework. Last winter, who'd I date? Melanie. How'd I get her? The same way. She was into jazz, right? So I got to know a little bit about the artist, bought a few records, and asked her out to a concert. Three months later, she was off the chart. But what's all this got to do with Stratton? Can't you add two and two? Stratton's a Christian, right? She's in the Bible and Jesus and stuff. So? So I'll pretend to become a Christian. All I have to do is learn the lingo and I'll have her by the end of the month. You're dreaming, man. Stratton's not an idiot like the other two chicks. She'll see right through you. We'll see, we'll see. Now I need to find out a little information. Now who do we know who's a good Christian? Frank. You've got to be kidding, man. Frank's never going to have anything to do with you. Nick's right. No, no, Nick's wrong. Frank's perfect, man. He used to hang out with us. He knows what's going on in the world. Well, until he got religious. But Frank's never going to believe you became a Christian. I'll have to make him believe it. Look, everybody thinks he has his act together, right? Plus, he's pretty tight with Dana. Yeah, if I can fool Frank, I can fool anybody. Hey, Frank. I didn't know you cross-country boys lifted weights. I thought you ran all the time. No, running's got to build up strength. Maybe I'll come to a meet this year. How's everything going? It's going okay. You've got a lot of weight on, Frank, and I don't think I can lift that. It's on your mind, Keith. Well, how was your summer? It was all right. I ain't got a lot done. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I got a job delivering pizzas. Yeah, I heard. Great job, man. You get to meet a lot of people, get to know the streets. Oh, great, Keith. Maybe when you graduate, you can get a job with the highway department. That's a good one, Frank. I'm glad to see you still have your sense of humor. Where's all this going, Keith? Look, Frank, I know our paths haven't crossed much lately, but I think that's going to be changing. Yeah? What makes you think that? You see, this summer, well, last month, I became a Christian. You want to run that by me again? I became a Christian, you know, just like you did. A Christian? What is this, some kind of a joke? Would I joke about something like this? If there was something you wanted? Yeah, maybe. Frank, you know I never gave religion a second thought, let alone make jokes about it. All right. Tell me more. Well, my cousin from California came to visit, and I didn't know he even became a Christian. For the first night, we talked about heaven, hell, Jesus, the Bible, you know, the whole works. To make a long story short, everything he told me made sense. And that night, I became a Christian. Yeah, what happened? Like, did you pray? Well, I told God I was a sinner, and I needed Jesus to save me, just like you used to tell me. My cousin's sending these books and stuff, but they haven't gotten here yet. I figured you could help me out. I mean, after all, you're the best Christian I know. I can't even believe I'm hearing this. I don't know what to say. Well, the great thing about it is, Frank, ever since I became a Christian, I haven't had anything to drink, I haven't had any dope, and me, I haven't even had a date. It's been unbelievable. There's something I need to tell you, though. You're the first person I've told. I'm still hanging around Nick and Dean and those guys because I haven't figured out a way to reach them yet. You know, I don't want to turn them off. Well, haven't they seen anything different? Have they noticed a change? I've been delivering pizzas almost every night, so I haven't seen them much. Plus, I've sort of avoided it. But look, I've been waiting on those books and everything, and I just figured you could help me out. Well, I got some books and tapes in my locker you can borrow. Do you have a Bible? Yeah, yeah, I got a Bible. I've been reading it every day. Look, I've even gone to church a couple times at this one near my house, but it's not too good. Where do you go? I go over to Central, over on Cherry Street. Yeah, I know where that is. What about the guys you hang around with? They go there, too? Yeah, most of them. Well, what about girls? I mean, the only one I know who is a Christian is Dana Stratton. Where does she go? She goes to Grace Bible. Well, now, there's Connie Sesler, and there's Laura Jenkins. They go over to Central, too. Well, I guess I have to just get to know all of them a little better. Excuse me, sir. Which one of these Bibles is the one Jesus preached out of? For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that for God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. John 3, verse 16. He's a walking Bible. He knows one verse. I know several verses, and it's going to be enough to convince Dana. And Frank? He's already convinced. Why do you think he wants to disciple me? What does that mean? I don't know. But listen to this. What's the most important commandment? Who cares? Jesus said, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. Mark 12, verse 30. Sounds convincing to me. What'd you do, stay up all night memorizing this stuff? No, man. I picked it up in no time. It's not tough being a Christian. All you got to do is learn some verses and stay out of trouble. Yeah, but how are you going to get to talk to him? Easy. I got a class with him last period. You don't have any classes with Stratton. I do now. Switched into one yesterday. Keith? Yeah? I couldn't help noticing, but you have a Bible with you. Well, I'm still hanging around Nick and Dean and those guys because I haven't figured out a way to reach them yet. You know, I don't want to turn them off. I really want to learn. Frank gave me these books and tapes to listen to. I've been reading the Bible. I've even been going to church. Where are you going? Well, I'm going to this one near my house, but it's not too good. I don't think I'm going to go back. This Sunday, I'm going over to Greg's Bible. Greg's? That's where I go. You're kidding. No, it's a great church, Keith. Got a lot of good people and a great youth group. You'll like it. Well, maybe you can introduce me to some of them. No. If you're not doing anything tomorrow night, we're having a back-to-school fellowship. You should come. Hey, that sounds good. Well, I won't be imposing, though. Of course not. We'd love to have you. Well, great. Hey, I don't have to work tomorrow night, either. But look, let's do it. Can I pick you up? Because I don't want to feel like the new kid on the block. Sure. Fellowship starts at 7. Well, I'll pick you up around 6.30 then, okay? Bye. Okay, bye then. See you tomorrow. You don't waste any time, do you? We saw you talking to her, man. What happened? Tomorrow night, 6.30. He got a date with her. Well, I'm going to this church thing with her. Keith Picasso strikes again. So how'd you swing that? Hey, hey, I'm a Christian now. We do these things. Oh, which reminds me. Hey, look, I've got a disciple meeting with Frank. I'll see you guys later, okay? All right. Later, man. By the way, which one of you guys are going to work for me tomorrow night? Hey, Frank, man, I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me. This is going to be great. No problem. No problem at all. Hey, how's cross country going? It's going pretty good. We got our first meet Thursday at Fraser Park. Already? It's just the first week of school. Yeah, we've been practicing for, what, three weeks now? Well, hey, I might try to come. Good. Meet starts at 4. Hey, Frank, I was just wondering, how long does this discipling usually take? Well, a few weeks until you get an understanding of things. Well, don't get me wrong. This is going to be great, and I really want to learn. All right. Well, the first thing I want you to do is to memorize a verse, okay? In John 14, 15, Jesus makes this great statement. He says, If you love me, you keep my commandments. See, as far as I'm concerned, that's what being a Christian is really all about. It's just loving Jesus and really wanting to serve Him. I've got to warn you, Keith, there are some people out there who say they love Jesus, but then they don't even bother obeying Him. I don't know, what's that, a halfway Christian? There's really no such thing. I mean, love and obedience, they go hand in hand. You can't really have one without the other. Oh, this is good stuff, man. In other words, I like to put it this way. If you come to Jesus, you come all the way. If you come to Jesus, come all the way. That's great. I brought along a couple of tapes in case you have a tape player. Yeah, I've got one. Here you go. Thank you. What kind of music do you like? Well, I'll tell you, Dana. Okay, now listen. Don't laugh because the guys I hang around with always give me a hard time. I like classical. Really? But do you like Christian music? I didn't know there was such a thing. Weston Davis, never heard of him. It's not any of that hard rock stuff, is it? No, silly. Oh, good, I hate all that. It's of the devil. You mean to tell me you got up in front of all those people and told them how you became a Christian? What did you tell them? Same thing I told Dana and Frank. Look, I've got to keep my story consistent. So, to make a long story short, everything my cousin said to me made sense. And that night I prayed to receive Jesus. Can I say something else? One of my favorite verses is John 14, 15. Jesus made a great statement. He said, if you love me, you'll keep my commandments. I mean, that's what being a Christian's all about. And there's some people who say they love Jesus, but they don't obey him. What's that, a halfway Christian? There's no such thing. Love and obedience. You can't have one without the other. Well, I like to put it this way. If you come to Jesus, come all the way. They actually believed him? I'm thinking about becoming a preacher. But what did Dana think? She was impressed. What happened when you took her home? Did you kiss her? Nope. Why not? Dang. I've got a plan. You doing okay? Uh-huh. Are you busy after school? Not especially. Well, look, Frank's got a cross-country meeting I'm going to go. Would you like to come along? Come on, Frank! Let's go, Frank! Come on, Frank, come on! Do it for Jesus! Frank and I used to hang out together all the time about a couple years ago. Well, until it got religious. Now we're both preaching for Jesus. You ever been to a cross-country meet before? Nope, this is my first one. Me too. How do you know who wins? Hey, look, Frank, you're going to have to explain to me how a cross-country meet is scored. I know you guys won, but I just don't know how. All right, well, I'll put it all down on paper for you after we're done today. All right, just don't forget, okay? I won't. Look, I didn't want to say anything to you yesterday, but I was kind of curious how you ended up at the meet with Dana. Oh, yeah, Dana. Look, Frank, I'm glad you brought that up. See, I have a little dilemma here. I got a class with Dana now, and we got to talking, and she asked me to church Wednesday night. And I went to, and it was great. And yesterday I was talking about going over to your meet, and she asked if she could come along. Well, now tomorrow we're going back to Fraser Park just to walk around and talk. To tell you the truth, Frank, I really don't want to start dating anybody right now. I guess it's because I don't know what Christians do. And I definitely don't want to do anything wrong. Well, hey, maybe you can set me straight on a few things. Well, you think Dana kind of likes you then? I don't know. She's a nice girl and all. I guess it couldn't hurt to spend more time with her. She's a sharp Christian. All right, then. I'll give it to you straight. I think there are two things you need to remember when you're talking about dating. Well, the first thing is, Jesus has to be the center of the relationship. Of course. Second, well, you need to be real careful when it comes to the physical stuff, you know? Well, I mean, because that's where most couples have their downfall. I think what you need to do is determine affection versus passion. Affection versus passion? Yeah. Now, let me explain. See, I think you can go ahead and express affection. Found out how a cross country meet scored? Oh, yes. So? Well, you add up the totals of the top five runners from each team and the low score wins. Low score wins. I'll remember that. Dana, I've been wanting to ask you something. I haven't seen you date too many guys at school. In fact, I don't think I've seen you date anybody at all. Have you? I've gone out with a couple of guys, but nothing serious. I dated this one guy from Rivertown, but it just didn't work out. What happened? Well, we had a difference in standards, you might say. You've got to be careful about who you date these days. Most kids, they don't know what they're doing. They'll just go out and do whatever they want without even considering the consequences. I mean, look at all the teenage abortions and pregnancies and stuff. I know. I've been doing a little reading on the subject. I'll tell you the main two problems I see. First, they don't put Jesus in the center of their relationship. I mean, that's obvious. And second, they just don't know where to draw the line. I mean, you have got to determine affection versus passion. I mean, it's okay to show affection towards someone, but as soon as that affection turns to passion, you've gone too far. And at that point, your desires are controlling you instead of the Holy Spirit. You know, Keith, it's amazing how much you've learned. It's all in the Word. All you have to do is study. Hey, Nick. Hey, man. How'd it go today? Oh, you kid. It went great. She's falling for me. She thinks I'm a spiritual giant. Is that good? Is that good? It's great. Look, the only way I'm going to get her to see things my way is to make her believe I'm more spiritual than she is. Then I can make my move. I don't know. I still think you're fooling yourself. Stratton's not stupid. I mean, you haven't even kissed her yet. Wait a minute. I kissed her. I had a lot of fun today. Me too. You know, Stratton, you're not a bad kid. I mean, you're all right. Oh, really? Gee, thanks. Hey, Frank's got another meet next week. You want to go? Well, we're his fan club. We've got to, right? Got to. This time we'll keep score. Low score wins. Low score wins. Okay. Well, hey, I've got to go to work. I'm keeping in mind our affection versus passion. That's kissing her? A smooch on the paw? Oh, come on. Give me a break. All I need is a little time. I'm just setting her up. Keith, man, don't you feel just a little bit guilty about using these chicks? Are you kidding? No way. Hey, look, they use us more than we use them. I mean, look how they dress, tease, and flirt. Look, man, Dana may be religious. That's not going to stop me. She's interested. You just keep watching. ...used today. Drinking, drugs, or sex. I don't think it's any of those. Come on, Frank. It's got to be sex. I mean, look at all the Christians sitting there. I don't think that's it. Come on, Frank. It's got to be sex. I know it's sex. No, it's not. What is it, then? Just don't love Jesus. Hey, Keith. Yeah, Frank. Have you ever said anything to Nick and Dean about becoming a Christian? Not yet. Why not? Well, look, I want to learn just a little bit more first. Well, look, I'm planning on inviting them to church real soon. Okay. She thinks she's got to do certain things to try to be accepted. She's starting to drink a little, smoke a little. Peer pressure's really getting to her. That's not her problem. I really think it is, Keith. I don't think it is. I know what her problem is. She doesn't love Jesus. I was thinking about last few years. Remember that play that she used to roll wide on? No, I went left. Hey, Nick, who are we playing tonight, man? Richard's team. Easy, man. Easy. I'll score three touchdowns. Hey, Keith. What? Look, I'm planning on going over to Monroe Avenue Saturday night. Do a little witnessing. I was wondering if you wanted to come along. It'd be a good experience for you. Monroe Avenue? Going back to the old stomping grounds, that's right. Actually, I'm going to see Tony. Tony? Look, man, he's not going to be interested in any religion. Seeing you change really got me thinking about him and the other guys, you know? I thought maybe with both of us going down there, we might be able to get through to him. I don't know, Frank. He's not the same guy we used to know, man. Look, I'm planning on getting there about 8.30. I really want you to come along. Look, Frank, I'd love to, really, but I've got to work. And I won't be done till 1.30 in the morning. Can't you get anyone to work for you? Saturday night, man, it's the busiest night. Everybody's working. You sure? Yeah. Sorry, Frank. Look, if anything changes, you let me know, okay? All right, I will. Hey, Frank. I'll be praying for you. All right, let's go. Hey, all right. All right, buddy. You're mine. All right, let's go. Ready? Hut! Hey, Keith, heads up! Yeah! Come on, Rich. You're crazy, man. I was in bounds. How can you say when you're catching the ball? I know if I've been bouncing up, man. You had a foot in the bleachers that time. You're crazy. You guys thought I was in. Why'd it burst down all the way? Hey, Keith, take it easy. Come on, man. What's your problem? Frank's standing right over there. Okay, okay. Look, Rich, man, I didn't mean to get so tough on you. I just want to see if you're ready for the material. Now, look, if you make a call, stick with it, all right? Good job. You better be careful, man. Frank's going to catch on to something. All right. Take it easy. All right, I'm off, everyone. Let's go. You see, Tony, Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me. See, I was Jesus talking. Those are his own words. Hey, that's nice. See you later, pal. Hey, but, Tony, you really need to look into this, man. Hey, you get to heaven your way, and I'll get there mine. Yeah, but Christ is the only way to get there. Hey, Frank, I am sick of your religious garbage. So you and your buddy just get out of here. All right, take it easy, man. We're going. What's wrong with you tonight? You're what's wrong with me tonight. I ain't got time to listen to this stuff. Yeah, but why are you turning on me like this? It's me, Frank. Frank? You ain't the Frank I knew. That Frank doesn't exist anymore. Man, I can't believe you're saying this to me, man. You know, you've really changed. No, you're the one that's changed, pal. I ain't the Jesus freak. Now I'm telling you for the last time, get out of here. Frank, let's get out of here. All right, hold on. Just could you take this and read it? Hey, I ain't reading anything. Hey, come on, Tony. Come on. Hey, I'm going to cram the Bible down his throat. He's one of my best friends. He's your friend? That Jesus freak? Hey, let's see how tough you are, freak. Let's see how tough you are. Take it off. What's going on here, man? I'm on the delivering. I seen you, Tony, going at it. I don't know. I was just standing here talking to him. All of a sudden, he just went crazy on me. He's not the same guy we used to know. Besides, he's not going to accept Jesus here for a while, that's about it. Tell you what, I'll try to calm him down and set something up with him later on. You guys get out of here before someone gets hurt, OK? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'll see you later. OK. See you later, Frank. I'll preach to somebody else. Hey, come on, Tony. Take it easy. They're going. Nobody's hurt, man. Hey, he's lucky he didn't get hurt. Just take it easy, man. They're going. Don't ever come back to this alley again. Just get a grip. Get a grip, Tony. Get a grip. Take it easy. You were awesome. They bought the whole thing. Just like you said, man. See your truck? Go wild. Get crazy. Get in his face. Man, you were great. All you guys were great. I got pizzas in the truck. Hey, big guy. This must be some chick you're after. Yeah, she's worth the effort. I'll keep Frank off my back for a while. Saturday night. Why didn't you say something? What about it? Oh, yeah. I set a new record delivering pizzas a month. You know what I'm talking about. Why didn't you tell me? It's no big deal. It's not the way Frank made it sound. Hey, I got some big news for you. Guess who's coming to the fellowship with us Wednesday night? Here you go, guys. For you and for you. Free drinks. OK, what do you want? Hey, you're my buddies. Why don't I buy you a couple soft drinks? Either of you guys working Wednesday night? No. Uh-uh. That's what I thought. Look, I need your help. I'm setting up Dana for my big move Friday night, and it all starts with you guys Wednesday night. You're going to church with me. What? I ain't going to no church. Me either. No way. Hey, no words to say best friends run perfect plans. Look, here's all you got to do. Well, what did you guys think? I thought it was pretty interesting. Yeah, me too. Got a couple of questions, though. A couple of things I'm kind of confused about. Well, look, why don't you go to the car, and I'll be right with you, all right? All right. Take it easy, Dana. OK. See you later. Bye. Dana, look, I know we were going to get together tonight, but I think I need to spend more time with these guys alone. Oh, sure. Sure, I understand. Well, believe me, I was really looking forward to being with you. I want to make it up. Don't worry about it. You need to be with them. I'll tell you what. Friday night, I'll go out to dinner or drive them to your house. We'll make it extra special. What do you say? You don't need to do that. Hey, hey. Now, what does it say? Girlfriend ruins perfect date. Now, come on. What do you say? Friday night. OK. See you later. How did we do, man? Are you kidding? You guys were great. My plan's working perfectly. When Friday night rolls around, she'll be putty in my hand. But you haven't even kissed her yet. That's the whole idea. She's dying for me to. She probably thinks something's wrong. I bet she's changed her mouthwash three times. Man, you're making Friday night sound like it's going to be the 4th of July or something. Hey, hey, hey. I've played this game before. I know how girls are. But Dana's going to go home and think about me all night. Man, when chicks start liking guys, they become stupid. They'll do anything. And I'm telling you guys, after Friday night, this Christian charade's over. So where are you going to take her? Back road? No, no, nothing like that. We're going out to dinner and then to my house. What about your folks? Won't they be there? Going to a party. Want me home at 3 in the morning. Oh, you lucked out. Lucked nothing. I knew about it two weeks ago. Why do you think I pulled this church thing with you guys tonight? To set up Friday night. So Dana's coming over to your house, but your parents aren't going to be there. No, but she thinks we're going for a little drive and then over to her house. She wouldn't come over to my house if she knew my parents were leaving. Oh, give me a break. This chick is unreal. How are you going to get her over there? Got it all figured out. Hey, this ain't half bad place, is it? It's nice. Oh, I forgot the Weston Davis tape. I wanted to listen to it as we drove around tonight. Hey, can we stop by my house and pick it up? Sure, I don't mind. Great. OK, Dana, look, you can have whatever you want, except for one thing. What's that? Pizza. I got to keep loyal to the company. Dad? I've got to use the phone. Well, all right, let me ask her. Hey, look, my grandfather had a mild heart attack, but he's going to be OK. My father wants to know if we can stick around in case anyone calls. Do you mind? No, of course not. Yeah, Dad, it's OK. We'll be here. Uh-huh. Tell Grandfather I'm thinking of him. Tell Mom I said hi. All right, we'll see you later on. Bye-bye. Is everything OK? Yeah, everything's fine. I'm not worried. He'll be OK. God's got everything under control. Hey, Tony. What do you want? I need to talk to you for a minute. I ain't got a minute. I just need one minute. Guys, go ahead, man. I'll catch up with you. What's up with you? I want to know why you turned on me last week. What? You know what I'm talking about. You never treated me like that before. You're the one who turned on me. How do you figure? Two years ago, we used to hang out all the time. One day you go get religious. Where does that lead your buddies? If that's what your religion does for you, I don't want any part of it. Hey, look, Tony. When I became a Christian, I couldn't do the things we used to do. I told you that. I know I made a mistake by not staying in touch. I'm sorry about that. A minute's about up. Look, do you think maybe you, me, and Keith could get together and talk? We ain't got nothing to talk about. We got two years to talk about, man. Look, two years ago, I became a Christian. Now Keith became one this summer. You've got to look into things. You're really missing it, Frank. What? Keith ain't one of you. He's no Jesus freak. Hey, man, Keith's a believer now. Wake up, man. Keith's just after some chick. Some chick? No, girl. What are you talking about? Want to hear some music? Sure. So, how'd you enjoy dinner? It was very good, thank you. Not too often you get to spend $10 for a hamburger. This is nice. Beautiful music. Hey, Nick, is Keith working tonight? He's off. Where is he? Something wrong? Is he out with Dana? I don't know. I think you do. Where'd they go? Look, Frank, I told you... Where'd they go, Nick? All right, he's taking her out to dinner. I don't know where they're going after that. You sure? No. I'm lying. Yeah, I bet you are. What's Frank's problem? He's looking for Keith. What for? I don't know. I'm about to give him a call. He must not be there yet. Dana, look, I need to talk to you. Alone? Now? Yes, now. It's important. Something wrong, Frank? I just need to talk to you. Well, look, will this take very long? Yeah, I think it's going to take a little while. Look, you want to go for a ride in the car? Frank, Frank, we're on a date here, man. Oh, I'm sorry about that. Look, I really need to talk to you. Can it wait? No, it can't. It's okay, Keith. It's all right. I'll be right back. Well, look, Frank, why don't you tell me about it? Maybe I can help out. Look, maybe you'd better wait for me in the car. I'll explain a few things to Keith, and then I'll be right out. All right. Look, I know this isn't making a whole lot of sense to you. You're just going to have to trust me, okay? Okay. Well, okay, Dana. We'll see you later on, all right? Okay. Okay, I'll be right here. All right. Frank, I can't believe you interrupted my date like that, man. You're lucky I didn't say anything with her standing right here in front of you. What are you talking about? The cousin from California? Was he from L.A.? Or was he from Sacramento? Wait, I'll bet he was the one from Disneyland. Frank, come on. Talk English, all right? I went to see Tony tonight. So? Well, I mean, great. Did he pray to receive Jesus? No. You know, I ought to bury you alive for what you've been pulling. What are you talking about? Don't play dumb with me. Tony told me the whole thing. This whole Christian thing has been a scam, a complete con. I don't know what you're talking about. What did that liar Tony tell you anyway? Hey, don't give me that. You listen to me, man. You and Dana are history. You got that? You're history. Gospel according to Keith. It's over. Hey, look at Donna Perkins, man. Talk about ugly. Hey, Richard, didn't you used to go out with her this summer? Oh, man, give me a break. There's Sarah Ellison, man. She looks dumb enough. Dumb enough for what? Dumb enough to go out with you, man. Hey, hey, Robin Williamson's still looking pretty good. Hey, is she still dating that college dude? I don't know. We'll have to check into that. There's Tonya. What a dog. What do you mean, Richard? Tonya's nice. Oh, man, the girl is barking. What did you want? Donna Perkins, man? I guess you made her blacklist. Hey, Keith, I need to talk to you for a minute. Look, I've got to get to class. The bell rang. You'll get there. Make it quick, all right? You really hurt her, man. Yeah, well, she'll get over it. I can't believe you. I mean, how could you pull a stunt like that? What were you thinking? What's wrong with you? Hey, what is this, 20 questions? Why don't you go run 10 miles, buddy? She really liked you. Didn't you have any feelings for her at all? She was cute. That's all that mattered. I'm going to tell you what she did. I don't want to hear it, Frank. Well, you're going to. Friday night, after I told her, she cried her eyes out. And then she prayed for you. So? You think you're pretty cool, don't you, Keith? Pretty sure of yourself, nothing fazes you? Just use them and dump them? Hey, look, save me the sermon, all right, Frank? But you were this close. When you heard all that truth, you were so close to salvation. If you just admit your sin and then deal with it, maybe some other time. There may not be another time. I'll take my chances, Frank. Friday night, a couple of us are going bowling. Come along, we'll talk. You're unbelievable, Frank. Don't you ever give up? There's always a possibility you could change. Oh, yeah, and what makes you think a guy like me could change? I did. Hey, Frank, if I ever come to Jesus, I'll come all the way.