I Was Transmigrated For Twenty Years Then Married A Cruel Heir Just To Raise His Only Son.

I've been here for 20 years since my transmigration and I'm still unmarried. In the capital, I've become a figure known far and wide. A notorious old maid. Coincidentally, Pi Sun, the heir of the Marquise of Somping, has also passed the age of 20 without taking a wife. It was all because of the favored concubine at his side. A woman of lowly birth whom he doted on to the extreme. He feared that once a principal wife entered the manor, she would suppress his beloved concubine. So he kept delaying the matter of marriage. After two broken betrothals, the Marchioness of the Swamping Marquise Manor came to my door in person. A grown man should take a wife, and a grown woman should take a husband. The Marchioness said, The two of you are a match made in heaven. I looked down at my newly dyed crimson nails and stayed silent. The Marchioness continued, I know you have no desire to bear and raise children. My son's concubine is already pregnant. If you marry into the manor, the child she gives birth to will be placed under your name as the principal wife. I slowly lifted my head. That favored concubine is named Shen Wei. She is two months pregnant. My infilial son is determined to keep this child. The Marchioness's face remained kind and gentle, yet her words were blunt and direct. The principal wife hasn't even crossed the threshold, and a concubine is already with child. This truly harms the family's reputation. Which noble clan would still dare to marry their daughter into our manor? Her words held no falsehood. The marquise of Xiangping's title had been passed down through generations. Paisun was no idle young master who relied on his family's status to indulge in dissipation. He was brilliant and intelligent. At twenty, he was ranked as the Tanhua, the third highest scholar in the imperial examinations, and appointed to the Heinlein Academy. A talented young man valued by His Majesty should have had no worries about marriage by rights. The only regret was the beloved concubine in his chambers. She came from a music house and was exceptionally gifted and talented. Paisun treasured her, adored her, and had even once declared that he would never marry a principal wife in this lifetime. Once those words spread, which high-gator grand household would still dare to discuss a marriage alliance with the marquise of Xiangping's manor? Lowering our standards to marry a daughter from a respectable family wouldn't be impossible. It's just that after much thought, the marquise let out a soft sigh. I cannot turn a blind eye and let a good girl leap into a pit of fire. I raised an eyebrow slightly. So, marquise, you want me to be the one to jump? I know the two betrothals you broke off were not because of ill fortune. The marquise looked me straight in the eye. It's because you don't want to marry. I was born into the Qu family, a lineage of distinguished scholars. My father holds a third-rank official post and has arranged two betrothals for me. The first marriage arrangement was with the cousin of the minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices. The young man's mother passed away, and because of the mourning period the engagement was dissolved. At that time I had just come of age. The second betrothal was arranged with the second son of the commissioner of the transmission office. Unexpectedly, that family was implicated in a crime, and the engagement was canceled as a result. By then I was already seventeen. After two failed marriage arrangements, rumors gradually spread among the common people that my eight characters' ass-astrological birth chart were too strong, that I would bring misfortune to my husband and could not sustain a happy marriage. As a result, at twenty years old I remained unmarried. Marchanus, those words of yours are rather harsh. I said as I poured tea, my voice calm and even. The world is unpredictable and my marital fate has been fraught with twists and turns. How has that turned into me simply not wanting to marry? I know you have an elder legitimate sister, the Marchanus said. Five years ago your elder sister married into the Duke of the States Manor. She passed away from childbirth before she even reached twenty. I also know that the rumor about your birth chart being too rigid was one you spread yourself. My fingers holding the teacup twitched slightly, but I still did not respond. Miss Cuy, you grew up surrounded by brocade and silk, living in luxury and splendor. Your clothing and daily necessities are all exquisite. The Marchanus asked, Could it be that you are truly willing to enter a Taoist temple to cultivate in hardship? My heart stir faintly. I could not deny it. Her words had struck right at my core. This world was harsh on women. By avoiding marriage, remaining unmarried at twenty was already considered generous on my parents' part. The Cuy family could support me for life, but they could not shelter me for an entire lifetime. I still had to find my own path. Entering the Tao as a female cultivator, and letting my hair grow long to practice asceticism might be accepted by society, but it was still the worst of the worst options. In that case, Marchanus, I smiled. If I do marry over, what can you offer me? I guarantee that you will not have to endure the hardships of bearing and raising children in this lifetime. The Marchanus replied, Moreover, you will have children to support you in your old age. The inner quarters of the Marquise Manor have a simple population. You know what the Marquise is like. The only one managing the household affairs is me. Once you marry over, you will not need to pay morning and evening respects. I have already prepared the floating cloud courtyard for you. It is a spacious residence with front and back sections, completely separate from the rest. The Marchanus took a sip of tea and smiled faintly. That courtyard is near the lake, surrounded year-round by hundred-year-old winter plums, with bamboo planted in the front yard. Warm in winter, cool in summer. A's for the favored concubine, Shen Wei. If you wish to establish rules as the main wife you may summon her. If she annoys you, she can simply stay in her own courtyard and live out her days in peace. His airdotes on that favored concubine to the utmost extreme. I ask, what main wife would dare summon her to establish rules? Without rules there can be no order. The Marchanus retracted her smile, her tone turning serious. If not, why would I need to find a principal wife for my son? No matter how much the airdotes on her, it is merely personal affection. Having read so many books of the sages, how could he not understand the rites and ancestral laws? I took a sip of tea and smiled without saying a word. When she, the Marchanus called me by my given name and stepped closer, I quickly stood up. Marrying a daughter from a common family into the Marquis Manor would not be difficult, but my conscience truly would not be at ease. I am all too familiar with the dirty tricks in the inner quarters, and I know how difficult it is for a wife who is not favored by her husband. But the Marquis Manor still holds a noble title, and Peishun is on a smooth path in his official career. Such wealth and honor are not something just anyone can obtain. The Marchanus took my hand. With glory and splendor within your grasp, as long as you do not cling to romantic affection and keep an open mind, your days will not be too bad. I looked straight into her eyes and heard the clear thump in my own heart. Those are fine words, but human emotions are truly unpredictable. I said softly, It is not uncommon for a favored concubine to destroy the wife. The child is not one I gave birth to so what assurance do I have for my future interests? The Marchanus sighed. I will be honest with you, that favored concubine may be called a musician, but in truth she is an official slave. I paused slightly, my eyes widening. Speaking of which, she has some connection to you. That favored concubine was originally surnamed Shen In that instant I understood. My previous betrothal had been arranged with the second son of the Shen family. In the fourth month of that year the Shen family was accused of tampering with local military supplies, offending his majesty, and the entire clan was sentenced to exile. The men were banished to the south, while the women were made official slaves. Pei Sun and the second son of the Shen family were close friends who shared a deep bond. He secretly went to the music house to redeem the female relatives of the Shen family. Who would have thought that in saving the beauty, affection would blossom. The status of an official slave is hard to erase. No matter how much my son dotes on her, he cannot defy the imperial laws. Wench, I know you are a wise woman. The Marchanus said. That favored concubine wants to change her fate, and the only thing she can rely on is the child in her womb. Only by placing it under the principal wife's name, and having you personally raise and educate it will that child have a future. She even hopes the child will not acknowledge her as its birth mother. Not born from you, yet better than one who was. The Marchanus gripped my hand tightly. Wenchi, I have said this much. You must understand my sincere intentions. I fell silent. The Marchanus had indeed shown enough sincerity. Taking an official slave as a concubine was neither a great nor a small matter. His Majesty's will was hard to fathom. Pei's son was currently in favor. If someone with ill intentions used this to stir up trouble, waves might still rise. Moreover, if I truly entered the Marquis' manor in the future and held this weakness in my hands, it would serve as a form of leverage. Marchanus, though I seek only wealth and honor and not love or affection. I said, once married I will still be the principal wife. In the future I will have to live my days with my husband. I smiled. If possible, I would like to meet the heir once. Very well, very well. That is how it should be, the Marchanus said joyfully. I knew you were someone who thinks things through. Three days later, at dusk when the willows cast their shadows, I disguised myself as a man and stepped into the elegant room of the Listening Bamboo Tea Society. Fragrant incense curled in the air and water trickled softly. The man stood with his hands clasped behind his back beside the pond, tall and slender, exuding a cold and aloof aura. I used my folding fan to lift the beaded curtain. The jade beads chimed softly as they clinked together. The man turned around. I bowed in greeting. Heir. Pei's son had a high nose and thin lips, with sword-like brows slanting up to his temples. He wore a dark green brocade robe, his figure tall and elegant, his features as refined as jade. Though he was a civil official, a sharp edge emanated from him. The Tanwa scholar whose fame shook the capital, I thought to myself, his reputation is indeed well-deserved. This is the white tea from the Listening Bamboo Tea Society, with a light and refreshing fragrance. I sat across from Pei's son at the table, my voice gentle. Heir, please have a taste. No need for formalities. Pei's son looked directly at me. What do you wish to say? Heir, I know you cherish your favored concubine. I spoke frankly. But you cannot go your entire life without taking a principal wife. Pei's son raised an eyebrow slightly, but he did not get angry. I was somewhat surprised and inwardly thought even more highly of him. Marry a young lady from a high gate, and you fear she will suppress your beloved concubine. Once she enters the door, marry an ordinary girl from a respectable family, and your mother cannot bear it. No one wants to jump into a pit of fire, which is why the Marchioness came to me. I took a sip of tea. In that case, shouldn't you show some sincerity as well, Heir? Those seeking to climb onto the power of the Marquis Manor are countless. Pei's son dodged the question and countered instead. What is wrong with me marrying a woman from a slightly lower background? With a lowly status, her words carry no weight, and she will know to respect and defer to Lady Wei even more. His voice was indifferent. With me sheltering and favoring Lady Wei, will she not still enjoy wealth and glory? As for how that woman, unloved and disrespected by her husband, would be tormented, he did not care at all. I lifted my head and met his calm, unruffled gaze. This man was truly heartless. In his heart there was only Shen Wei, and for his beloved concubine he could be this cold. In that case, I suddenly smiled. Why don't you go find one? Pei's son did not answer. He lowered his eyes and drank his tea. Because, on your path in the officialdom, you need the support of your wife's family, and within the Marquis Manor you need a principal wife to handle social interactions on your behalf. No matter how favored she is, she cannot manage the central household affairs, I said. What principal wife would lower her own status to associate with a concubine? So, since you are willing to endure this much, Pei's son propped his hand on the table and gazed at me intently, Miss Qi, what do you want? I want to form a true husband and wife pair with you in name, but false in affection. I looked straight at him. Heir, in this lifetime I will not share a bed with you. Pei's son froze, the hand holding his teacup halted, and he suddenly looked up at me. Could it be that you, he hesitated for a long time before finally asking, still have lingering feelings for Shen Lin in your heart? Shen Lin, the second son of the Shen family, the one who had once been betrothed to me, and also the elder brother of his favored concubine, as well as his close bosom friend. In that moment I found it utterly ridiculous and absurd. Most men in this world were like this, arrogant and self-assured. In their minds, if a woman kept herself pure, it must be because of another man. Wes. I could not be bothered to explain and went along with it. I still think of him in my heart. Pei's son's handsome, aloof face softened a few degrees. Just as brother Shen once said, you are someone who values affection deeply. I raised an eyebrow slightly. When the Shen family was confiscated, it was Shen Lin who voluntarily dissolved the betrothal. Thinking of that bit of past affection, I had secretly sent some silver to help them settle. I had not expected it to leave such a good reputation. But I need a child as my support, I said. Shen Wei is two months pregnant. I do not mind. However, the child she gives birth to, whether boy or girl, must be placed under my name and raised personally by me. I will take care of Shen Wei's future prospects, and I will shelter her for the rest of her life. Pei's son replied, you want a child? That is not too much to ask. There is only one condition. The Ningguan Pavilion where Shen Wei resides is within my study. All her expenses and daily needs go through my private accounts. His voice deepened. You are not to interfere with that place. I will naturally act according to the rules and not interfere with her affairs, just as the river waters do not mix with the well waters, I asked. What if it is your favorite concubine who breaks the rules? She has a kind heart and a wise mind. With a noble and pure temperament, she will not. He met my smiling gaze, and his words trailed off. Then we will punish her according to the rules. Anyone can make empty promises. I clapped my hands. A young servant brought over brush, ink, paper, and inkstone. Let's draw up a gentleman's agreement. Two months later, on the eighth day of the sixth month, I married the heir apparent of the Marquis of Xiaoping. On the day I married out, my dowry procession wound halfway across the capital. Gongs and drums sounded joyously, the procession lively and bustling as it escorted me into the Xiaoping Marquis' manor. After Pei's son lifted my red veil, he immediately went out to the front courtyard to entertain the guests. At that moment the old maid beside the Marchioness dismissed the serving girls and handed me an object wrapped in brocade. Her expression was mysterious, much like when a mother presents her daughter with the spring palace pictures, erotica manuals, before marriage. I took it and unwrapped it. It was a small blue and white porcelain bottle no bigger than a thumb. The madam instructed that after drinking this medicine, it will be difficult to conceive after the wedding night. The old maid lowered her voice. It is just that this medicine will somewhat harm a woman's body. Young madam, you should not use too much of it. I remained silent for a long time before suddenly bursting into laughter. For the Marchioness to have chosen me as her daughter in law showed she was quite the remarkable woman. I had said I did not want to endure the hardships of bearing and raising children, and she kept her word, yet she implicitly assumed I would still enjoy the pleasures of husband and wife. Convey my thanks to mother for me. I smiled. Tomorrow when I pay my respects I will thank her in person. The old maid was no ordinary person either. She carried out this task without changing expression and even quietly explained how to use it. Not long after, a report came from outside, paying respects to the heir. I lifted the curtain and stepped out. Payson was dressed in a deep crimson wedding robe, his bearing tall, elegant, and refined, like rosy clouds supporting his steps, resembling an orchid or jade tree. His passionate eyes, deepened by the wine, gleamed even brighter. He looked a bit apologetic. My colleagues teased me, so I arrived a little late. The serving girls quietly withdrew. In the room only the red candles burned brightly, the sandalwood incense thick and heavy, the atmosphere hazy with a tint of spring passion. What a pity, I sighed softly in my heart. On this wedding night with its flower candles, I truly have no fortune to enjoy it. With such looks, what a pity he's nothing more than a wilted cucumber, already soiled by another's touch. Just then a report came from outside. Heir, someone has come from the Ningguan residence. Lady Wei's body is unwell. She has been retching nonstop. See I thought silently, the owner of that wilted cucumber has come knocking. Since when have the symptoms appeared? Pei Sun was extremely anxious, lifting his foot to leave. How have you all been serving her? Heir, please wait. I stood up and blocked his path, looking at the young servant who had delivered the message. Has an imperial physician been summoned? Miss Qi, the situation is urgent. Pei Sun lowered his eyes, and the gentleness from before vanished completely. You have only just entered the manor, and you already want to put on the airs of the principal wife. You know today is the day I entered the manor. I emphasized, today is our wedding night. His gaze turned icy cold to the extreme. So what? Heir, we have a gentleman's agreement. I faced him directly. If you leave today, how will the people in the manor look at me? Lady Wei is unwell. Do you think she is trying to compete for favor? Pei Sun's expression showed disgust. Step aside. Do not use your narrow-minded heart to judge her. In the future I will not object no matter when Lady Wei calls for you. But not today. If you step out this door today, tomorrow I will immediately seek a divorce. I did not yield an inch. I married at twenty. I am not afraid of adding another stain to my reputation. The air fell deathly silent, heavy and oppressive. Pei Sun and I stared at each other without a word. In the room only the red candles crackled as they burned. After a long while his eyelids twitched slightly. I knew he had yielded. Right then the corners of my eyes suddenly reddened. I turned away and asked again. Has an imperial physician been invited for Lady Wei yet? The young servant, who had kept his head lowered the whole time, replied. The manor physician has been summoned. Good. Among my dowry is a retired imperial physician with somewhat eccentric temperament. Take my token immediately and invite him. The young servant finally looked up, hesitating as he glanced toward Pei Sun. Pei Sun said nothing. Do not disturb the Marchioness with today's matter. Report anything directly to the Floating Cloud Courtyard. I spoke gently. Go on. Before you return, remember to collect some reward from my serving girl. Consider it catching a bit of the wedding joy. The young servant acknowledged and withdrew. I covered my mouth with a handkerchief, turning my back to Pei Sun, my breathing faltering several times. I was too hasty and overstepped. After a long pause Pei Sun sighed softly. It was my fault. I glanced at him, then walked into the inner chamber, sat down on the small bed, and lowered my head. That retired imperial physician who followed me has superb medical skills, especially proficient in gynecology. I gripped the handkerchief tightly, quietly wiping away my tears. You can rest assured. Footsteps sounded from behind. Pei Sun personally poured a cup of tea and placed it by my hand. How did you and Brother Shen become such close confidants? I asked through sobs. Brother Shen was always such a gentle person. Pei Sun's movements halted. In his eyes I saw his hands slowly clench into a fist. I'm sorry, I was too agitated. Today, heir, you should sleep in the outer chamber. I sounded as if my heart had gone cold. Before climbing into bed I added, If there is any news from Lady Wei, please let me know so I can set my mind at ease. Pei Sun blew out the lamp. I closed my eyes and lay on the wedding bed, the handkerchief covering my face, the pungent smell of ginger and green onion assaulting my nose. Was Shen Lin gentle? I thought to myself, who knows, we were betrothed, but I had only met him once. The bed curtains were lowered, and the deep night grew quiet. I drifted off in a daze when I suddenly heard voices, as if a young servant had come to report. I turned over, thinking hazily, Lady Wei truly has boundless energy, pregnant and still causing a commotion half the night. Suddenly a cool, refreshing scent wafted over, followed by a weight pressing down. I abruptly opened my eyes. Pei Sun was pinning me down from above, immediately covering my mouth. It's me. His voice was hoarse. There are maids eavesdropping outside the door. We need to put on a show. I blinked slowly, coming fully awake. So, upon hearing that Shen Wei was fine, he had come over at his leisure. On the wedding night it is only natural for husband and wife to be intimate. Pei Sun released his hand. But since you still have Brother Shen in your heart, how could I dare to overstep? Don't be afraid. His voice softened a bit, both hands gripping the edge of the bed tightly. The creak of the bed made one blush as it swayed gently. I was secretly glad the room was dark enough. It was truly exhausting. I closed my eyes emotionlessly, not bothering to pretend to be shy or reserved. His hot breath fanned across my face as he pressed close heavily. Sweat from his forehead rolled down onto my neck. It was scalding, sliding along my skin. The sandalwood incense grew thicker, and his breathing gradually quickened. A brief shower passed. The bed stopped swaying. When I woke up the bed was a mess of disarray, yet I was still fully dressed in my undergarments. Young Madam. The voice of a serving girl came from outside the curtain. It is time to pay respects to the Marchioness at her courtyard. Ah, the Marchioness resided alone in the largest courtyard of the Marquise Manor. In terms of elegance it was no less than the floating cloud courtyard. She truly was an interesting person. I suddenly recalled the rumors throughout the capital. The Marquise of Schwamping did not favor his principal wife much, and spent most of the year guarding the border. It was said there was a beauty at the frontier who addressed the Marquise as husband and wife. No wonder. Having tasted such scenes himself, he understood the feelings of others in similar situations and felt sympathy for wanderers. That was why she had carefully weighed the pros and cons before ultimately choosing me as her daughter. In law, the Marchioness did not stand on ceremony. When presenting the tea I had not even knelt before she called for me to rise. She took my hand and glanced at her beloved son. Pi's son happened to emerge from the side chamber and stood waiting under the corridor. How was last night? Did you take the medicine? The Marchioness asked in a low voice. My son should know how to cherish someone. I burst out laughing. What kind of mother? In law discussed such things with her daughter. In law the very next morning. But inwardly I felt pleased and replied with a smile. It was fine. We will gradually grow closer in the future. The Marchioness paused, then laughed heartily as well. Pi's son, outside in the corridor, heard the laughter and kept turning his head to look inside. I already know about what happened with Lady Y yesterday. You handled it very well. The Marchioness said. She was originally a young lady from an official family who fell on hard times overnight. It is understandable for her to lose composure at times. I raised an eyebrow slightly. Just as I thought she would tell me to be more tolerant, she changed her ton. But some things still need to be addressed firmly. Rules cannot be broken. Yesterday the heir did not go over, and she cried and smashed things in the Ningguan Pavilion. The Marchioness sighed softly. It is also the heir's fault for favoring her too much. Whether that is good or bad remains to be seen. On the way back to the Floating Cloud Courtyard, Pi's son walked alongside me and suddenly said, Mother really likes you. Mother has always been kind and benevolent, showing extra compassion toward women. No. I do not know why Mother. Pi's son hesitated. Does not seem to like Shen Wei much. Before he could finish a young servant from the Floating Cloud Courtyard interrupted. Young Madam, Lady Wei has come to present tea. Before I could speak, Pi's son released my hand and strode into the outer chamber. I followed leisurely behind, even plucking a freshly bloomed osmanthus flower along the way. Through the hazy beaded curtain I saw Shen Wei seated on a low chair, seemingly about to stand. Her figure was delicate and graceful, truly like a willow swaying in the wind. Pi's son stood beside her. Don't be afraid. If you are not feeling well, just stay seated. That would not be proper etiquette, Shen Wei said softly. How could one pay respects to the principal wife while seated? It is fine. Pi's son answered for me. The young madam is not unreasonable. I raised an eyebrow slightly. I saw Shen Wei's figure stiffen momentarily. She hesitated and asked, Is that true? Then yesterday, right at that moment I lifted the curtain and entered. Pi's son immediately straightened up. Shen Wei clutched a hem of his robe and still had not fully stood. Sit down. I spoke first. You are pregnant, so do not overexert yourself. Pi's son seemed to have anticipated this. Shen Wei hurriedly stood up instead as if startled. Greetings to the young madam. I already said there is no need for formalities. I chuckled. Yesterday I did not let the air go to you because it was our wedding night. The entire hall was shaken. Everyone was stunned. I had just been speaking with a warm smile, yet the next sentence was so blunt. Young madam, forgive me. It was my slip of the tongue. Shen Wei lowered her head. I had maliciously assumed. It is not to that extent. I interrupted her again. Sit down. I still need to explain clearly. Being pregnant makes one prone to overthinking. If I do not make it clear I am afraid you will worry unnecessarily. I sat down myself and accepted the teacup the serving girl offered. Consider this cup as the tea presentation. The distance from the Ningwen Pavilion to the main courtyard is quite far, so in the future there is no need to come pay respects. Just focus on nurturing your pregnancy in peace. As for your expenses they will all go through the heir's private accounts. That is for the best. There are too many affairs in the manor and I fear I will not be able to attend to everything for you. Being in the heir's study the care will surely be more meticulous. Of course, if there is any shortfall just send a maid over to find me and I will handle it. I have arranged things this way. I looked at Shen Wei. Do you find anything improper? What could be improper? It was more than proper. So proper that Shen Wei moved her lips several times but could not utter a word. I had spoken clearly, acted decisively, and conveniently shifted all responsibility to Pei Zun. In the future no matter what happened it could not be blamed on me. Of course I did not wish for anything to happen to Shen Wei. I truly needed the child in her womb. Nothing is wrong. Pei Zun smiled at Shen Wei. See, I told you the young madam is the most reasonable person. Shen Wei's expression shifted slightly. She immediately lowered her head and said softly. Thank you, young madam. I could not be bothered to respond and simply wanted to send them off. In that case, Lady Wei, return to your own courtyard early. The days in the Marquis Manor were even more leisurely than when I had been at home. My mother-in-law was tolerant and gentle, occasionally calling me over for tea and to enjoy the fragrance. With the household keys in my hands, all major and minor matters in the manor had to be decided by me. There was only one thing that did not sit well with me. Shen Wei truly was not very content with her lot. Sometimes while admiring the scenery she would grow melancholy. Other times smelling the incense in the study would make her claim discomfort. Pei Zun would change the incense from one type to another only for her to lean into his arms and say with difficulty. The last time I went to the Floating Cloud Courtyard the incense in the young madam's outer chamber was even more refined and elegant. The next day Pei Zun came to the main courtyard. Before he could speak my close-serving girl proactively offered up the incense I usually used. Sometimes her appetite would fail her and for days on end she could barely swallow a mouthful of rice. Pei Zun spared no effort to comfort her, feeding her each spoonful himself. This time Shen Wei felt even more ashamed. Last time when I suffered endless morning sickness, the prescription your imperial physician sent over truly worked wonders. The next day Pei Zun came to the main courtyard again. He was no longer as casual as the first time, instead he spoke with polite formality and stated his purpose clearly. Then take my token and invite Elder Chen. I said calmly while playing chess, she is with child, she should be shown more leniency. And so it repeated. Whenever Pei Xun asked, he received. Everyone in the Marquis Manor knew that the heir doted on Concubine Wei even more than when he had first married his principal wife. Another day, on the 15th of the month, Pei Zun came to the main courtyard for the usual meal. But once again Concubine Wei used the excuse of feeling unwell to summon him away. The maidservant beside me fumed. She really has no sense of propriety. What principal wife's side consort behaves like that? You know she has no sense of propriety. I answered, eyes still fixed on the Paijiu tiles as I calculated my next move. So why get angry? Young Madam, Concubine Wei is clearly provoking you. The maidservant said, puzzle. Why aren't you angry? Because she gains nothing by it. I said with a soft laugh. Does anyone in the Manor dare slight me just because she is favored? They wouldn't dare. The household accounts are in my hands, and their indenture contracts are in my hands. The heir's future career still depends on my father's support. Long-term benefits are what matter. The few small concessions he makes to Concubine Wei are things I won't bother myself over. Soft footsteps sounded behind me. I picked up a handkerchief to wipe my hands. My voice still even. If this were an ordinary household and a husband showed such blatant favoritism, I'm afraid the resentment would be hard to swallow. I smiled faintly. But I don't love the heir. Whatever entanglements he has with Concubine Wei only help me pass the time. From the corner of my eye I saw the hem of Pei Sun's robe pause for a brief moment before he silently turned and left. A Pei Sun's visits to Fuyuan Courtyard grew more frequent. I never refused him. In these circumstances, it was only beneficial for the heir to spend time in the main courtyard. Besides, Pei Sun was still a gentleman. On the few occasions he stayed overnight, he always slept in the side chamber. Entertainment in the ancient world was truly scarce. Though we were husband and wife, we could not indulge in the greatest pleasure between man and woman. Many twilight evenings we simply played chess, discussed the Tao, savored tea, and burned incense to while away the hours. I'm very curious. Pei Sun said one evening after placing a piece on the board. With your temperament, why did you ever fall for Brother Shen? Who can truly explain the word love? I replied. Can you explain why you favor Concubine Wei? Pei Sun gently rubbed the chess piece in his hand and fell silent. I took a sip of tea and nearly forgot who Brother Shen even was. The Shen family was exiled to the south. Pei Sun said. Without an imperial edict recalling them, they cannot return to the capital. You are a person who values affection. I fear you have given your heart to the wrong man. What did he mean by that? My hand holding the teacup stilled for a moment. I considered my answer. There is some genuine feeling in it. At least the second half of my life won't be too miserable. Half a lifetime is a long time. Must you wait forever? Pei Sun looked straight at me. The human world offers boundless joys, and your youth is beautiful. Do you truly not wish to enjoy it? My heart gave a small jolt. I caught the implication in his words. This man wanted to fulfill the duties of husband and wife with me. Er. A report came from beyond the curtain. Concubine Wei has been badly frightened and is bleeding. Crash. Pei Sun shot to his feet, knocking the entire chessboard over. Pieces scattered across the floor. Without another word he hurried away. I immediately sent for the imperial physician. It was not until dusk that Elder Chen finally came to my courtyard and reported that Concubine Wei was out of danger. But from her pulse, the pregnancy is not stable, Elder Chen said. She is too young and her pelvis is narrow. I remained silent. Shen Wei was only 16 this year. My elder sister had married into the duke's manor at the same age and become pregnant. Only Elder Chen would dare speak such words aloud. I asked. What frightened her this time? The Shen family's property was confiscated and their women sent to the entertainment houses. When the heir went to redeem them, he could only find Concubine Wei. Her mother has vanished without a trace. The old imperial physician continued. For the past year the heir has had people searching. But there has been no news. This afternoon he suddenly received word, only to discover it was false hope. I sat by the pond feeding the fish and sighed softly at the news. She is also a pitiful person. After Shen Wei's bleeding episode, Pei Sun's visits to my courtyard gradually grew less frequent. Yet my days remained as leisurely as ever, perhaps because we got along so well. The marchioness and I grew closer and closer. When the osmanthus bloomed golden and fragrant, I brought wine to her courtyard. The two of us drank and chatted as the wine slowly took effect. My side locks had slipped loose. I was in such high spirits that at some point I had rested my head on her cushion, drowsy and ready to sleep. The marchioness was no better. She smiled and stroked my cheek. Seeing you live like this makes me happy. I caught the edge of her robe. Mother, why do you say that? Twenty years ago I was just like you, only I wasn't as open-minded. The marchioness said, her gaze distant. That's why I say the men of the Pei family are all the same. I was young and hot, blooded then. I fought with the marquis's favorite concubine until I was physically and mentally exhausted. I even thought of entering a Buddhist convent. It's a good thing you didn't. I laughed. What fun would that have been. How could you enjoy fine wine in beautiful days? Exactly. The marchioness chuckled. Youth and beauty should not be wasted. When she— There are certain pleasures you might as well try once. She smiled. You don't have to bear children to enjoy them. My son is a fine young man in his prime. Trying it would do no harm. I laughed so hard my whole body shook and the hairpin in my hair slipped out. What do you think? Why not? The marchioness said gently. Fixing the hairpin back in place for me. The way you look at him, the way you act around him. Do you think you can hide it from me? When the evening clouds had thinned, I returned to Foyen Courtyard. Wine still flushed my cheeks. I had just lazily begun to untie my outer robe when I saw Pei Sun had been waiting for some time. Drinking with mother. He smiled faintly. You look tipsy. I said nothing. I simply picked up the teapot and poured myself a cup. My body swayed and more than half the tea spilled. Pei Sun sighed softly, stepped forward to take the pot from me, and brought the cup to my lips. Drink slowly. I obediently drank from his hand in one hurried gulp. Tea trickled from the corner of my mouth, sliding down my neck and lower still. Pei Sun's gaze gradually darkened. His fingertips gently wiped the droplet from my collarbone. He slowly lowered his head. His large hand cradled the back of my neck, still damp with sweat. Their breaths mingled, hazy and ambiguous. Pei Sun tenderly stroked my cheek. Just as his lips drew near, I suddenly whispered, Shen Lang. The teacup crashed to the floor. Pei Sun's eyes turned bloodshot. He gripped my chin tightly. Kui Wen Shi, you did that on purpose. I laughed. When I lifted my eyes, all trace of drowsiness had vanished. I pushed his hand away and retained my robe. Indeed, heir. I said slowly, smoothing my side locks. You won't forget the gentleman's agreement between us, will you? His chest heaved violently. I pretended not to notice. Ning Yuan Pavilion. Concubine Wei is still waiting for you. He stared at me for a long moment, then flicked his sleeve and left. The beaded curtain swayed wildly, leaving only a faint trace of wine-scented air. The next day, Shen Wei, already six months pregnant, came to Feiyan Courtyard. She brought a brocade handkerchief she had embroidered herself, saying it was to thank me for taking care of her. But when she lowered her head, she deliberately revealed the pale skin of her collarbone, covered in ambiguous pink marks. Her eyes flashed with triumph as she looked at me. Truly, those who are pishable must have something to be despised for. As the woman constantly by Pei Sun's side, she had long realized there was no true husband and wife affection between us. He was only a man, after all. I looked down at my newly dyed pink fingernails, yet I could not deny the budding spring desire stirring in my heart. As the setting sun slanted its light, I quietly boarded a carriage and left the Marquise Manor through a side gate. Token in hand, I made my way familiarly into Huijin Quarter and stepped into the private, elegant chamber that had been reserved for me for years. Honored Lady, it has been a long time since you last visited, the female manager said as she lifted the curtain. Several of the young gentlemen have missed you terribly. Now that I am married, it is not as convenient as before. I sighed softly. But coming here with this status brings a different kind of thrill. The female manager laughed. The new arrivals were all purchased from the Xiangnu. They have been trained thoroughly. Each one strong and clean. A warm, refined fragrance filled the air, stirring the heart. The man behind the sheer gows stepped forward at once. He knelt on one knee and began untying my sash. One night of unrestrained release. When I woke, the scent still lingered inside the bed curtains. I leaned against the man's firm chest, feeling utterly intoxicated. He helped me dress again. I did not bother pinning up my hair properly, merely draped a thin veil over my face before leaving the chamber. The corridors of Huijin Quarter wound deep and long. As I passed beneath an arched bridge, my heart gave a small leap. At the far end, Pei Son was walking toward me. I smiled mockingly to myself. I had thought his deep affection was so profound. Yet it turned out his feelings for Shen Wei amounted to no more than this. As I calmly walked past him, Pei Son paused for a brief moment. Then he suddenly turned, watching my retreating figure disappear into the distance. Wei had been back at the Marquis' Manor for less than half a watch when Pei Yizun arrived at Foyin Courtyard. The servants in the outer courtyard said you took a carriage out today. He asked. Where did you go? I went to a teahouse to listen to opera. I replied, lounging lazily on the beauty couch. Why does the air ask? He did not answer, only asked another question. You don't look well. Last night the weather was stormy and I slept poorly. I said, covering a yawn. Er, I am truly tired and wish to rest. Pei Yizun stared at me for a long time before rising silently. He had taken only a few steps when he suddenly spun around and shoved me down onto the beauty couch. His strength was overwhelming. Caught off guard, I cried out as my hairpin fell and my long hair spilled loose. While I was still gasping, he roughly tore open my thin inner robe. Pale skin was exposed, revealing faint, ambiguous pink marks scattered across it. Quee wen see. His eyes were bloodshot as he seized my throat. How dare you? Why wouldn't I dare? I gripped his wrist. My voice hoarse. You can do it. Why can't I? Shameless. You have no sense of a wife's duty. He roared, his eyes blazing with the fury of betrayal. Because you are a woman. The pain stole my breath. Yet a nameless fire ignited in my chest, burning until the rims of my eyes turned red. I groped for the hairpin that had fallen, seized it, and stabbed straight at his neck. He jerked his head aside in pain, the sharp pin grazed from his neck up to his ear. He released me. I coughed violently, pushed myself up, and slapped him across the face. Slap. He had no time to react, his head snapped to the side. The moment he turned back, I slapped him again with the back of my hand. Slap. The room fell deathly silent, his chest heaved, veins bulging on his neck. It seemed he still had not understood what had just happened. I am first a person. And only then a woman. I panted. Pay, son, the desires you have. I have them too. Shameless. Do you think I care? I laughed. Or do you think you truly care? Crimson crept from his chest up his neck. He blinked in bewilderment, his cheeks flushing scarlet. You don't actually care. You simply thought, this woman has kept herself pure, why not keep herself for you? My hand trembled with exhaustion. I moved closer and gently stroked his face. Then when you discovered this woman was unrestrained, you thought, you are her husband. Why does she not fulfill her marital duties with you? Tell me, why? My pink fingernails traced his cheek. I curled my lips into a faint smile. Because, you are filthy. That night Fuyan Courtyard was as quiet as cicadas in winter. Pay son left in a rage, flicking his sleeve. The servants in the courtyard knelt in a single mass. The news was tightly sealed. No one knew what had happened. Even when people from Ningwen Pavilion came to inquire, they could learn nothing. But the household accounts remained in my hands, and I was still the heir's wife. Everything continued as usual, as if no storm had ever passed. That anger was exactly as I had predicted. For the sake of face and for the sake of my father's official position, Pay son forced himself to swallow it. He no longer set foot in Fuyan Courtyard, yet he did not return to Ningwen Pavilion either. The gatekeeper said he spent most of his time lingering in Huijin Quarter. Shen Wei smashed things in Ningwen Pavilion several times in fury, and repeatedly used the excuse of poor health to summon him back. He would return, but after only a few days he would leave the manor again. Autumn passed in golden hues, and the cold of winter gradually arrived. One day while I was playing pitch-pot in the courtyard, a young maid rushed over in panic. Concubine Wei has gone into premature labor. The words struck like thunder. I calculated silently. Only eight months. Go invite Elder Chen and tell the midwife to come at once. I said, turning to leave. Report to the Marchioness. Where is the heir? Ningwen Pavilion had already fallen into chaos. Before I even entered the birthing chamber I could hear Shen Wei's cries of pain. So young and in such agony. The sound made my heart clench. Why did labor start early? Concubine Wei received news that her mother could not bear the humiliation in Osi Quarter and threw herself into the lake. The close maidservant of Shen Wei wept as she spoke. Concubine Wei panicked. She went to the inner study to ask the heir whether the news was true, and instead she saw. The maidservant drew in a sharp breath. On the bed was another woman. Rage flared. I closed my eyes for a moment. Just then Elder Chen and the Marchioness arrived. I took a deep breath. The child is secondary. First we must save the mother's life. Elder Chen lifted the curtain and entered the birthing chamber. The Marchioness glanced at me. I asked again. Where is the heir? We have already sent someone to Hui Jin Quarter to fetch him. The young servant answered, head bowed. The heir went to redeem a courtesan today and signed the indenture contract. Shen Wei's labor was excruciatingly difficult. She had only dilated two finger widths, yet her cries were already as thin as silk. Elder Chen applied acupuncture while ordering the midwife to hold her steady. Two bowls of ginseng soup were poured down her throat in succession. The woman who was in the heir's study. I said, eyes closed as I sat in the outer room. Ring her to me. She looked barely of marriageable age. When she performed the greeting before me, her whole body trembled and her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible. This humble one, Qiu Yao, greets the young madam. What is your name? How old are you? I rubbed my temple lightly. This commoner is called Qiu Yao. I never meant to harm concubine Wei, she said, twisting her robe in panic. I don't even know how I ended up sleeping in the inner study. Then why? I appraised her carefully. In terms of appearance, no one could compare to Shen Wei. So why? My thoughts suddenly halted. Because at that moment Qiu Yao raised her head, revealing a face that bore six parts resemblance to my own. I shot to my feet, knocking over the teacup in my hand. Crash. The entire hall fell silent. Young madam. A young servant's excited voice came from outside the door. The heir has returned. Pei Sun hurried in with an anxious expression. The moment his eyes met both mine and Qiu Yao's, his body froze. A wave of disgust rose from the depths of my heart and engulfed me. I was about to speak when a heart-wrenching scream tore from the birthing chamber. Young madam. The midwife ran out. Concubine Wei is in danger of a difficult birth. Basin after basin of bloody water was thrown out from the chamber. Pei Sun tried to rush inside, but was held back by the servants. I walked down the corridor and entered the room. Shen Wei looked as if she had been pulled from water. Her entire body drenched in sweat. Elder Chen looked at me and slowly shook her head. Her pelvis is too narrow. The child cannot come out. The midwife kept urging her to push. Shen Wei's face was deathly pale. Her head lolled up and then fell back. I have no strength left. Only sobs remained in her throat. Tears streamed down her face. Her half-open eyes kept murmuring something. The voices of the midwife and Elder Chen grew more and more urgent. In the chaos Pei Sun burst in. For a moment, I thought she was calling his name. But when I leaned down close to her ear, I finally heard clearly what she was saying. Mother. Hurt so much. Shen Wei wept bitterly. It hurts so much Mother. Mother is here. In that instant I did not think, I simply grasped her convulsing hand. Mother is here, Wei. I saw Shen Wei slowly open her eyes. Mother is right beside you. The hand in mine seemed to gain a little strength. She lifted her head again, nails digging into my skin until it hurt. At last, the sound of a baby's cry rang out in the birthing chamber. The midwife shouted with joy. It's out, it's out, it's a boy. Before the joy could spread, the hand in mine suddenly went limp. Give her more ginseng soup, Elder Chen shouted. Hurry, I'll insert more needles. Shen Wei's lips were bitten bloody. She drifted in and out of consciousness, her breathing faint and shallow. Pei Sun knelt by the bed, calling her name. I pushed him aside. Shen Wei it's a boy. A boy can take the imperial examinations and build a future. I leaned close to her ear, stressing every word. He can help you escape your slave status. Do you understand? You have to hold on and wait for him. I pressed almost against her ear. You are only sixteen, only sixteen years old. You are still so young. But I can't wait any longer. Shen Wei opened her eyes, struggling to see me clearly. It's too far away. And what about him? Look at him. I grabbed Pei Sun by the collar and dragged him in front of her. The heir is still here. So what? Shen Wei gave a faint smile. Her lips moved several times before any sound came out. I don't want to live depending on others anymore. Then she closed her eyes. Forever. Pei Sun clutched her hand, pressed it to his cheek, and lowered his head, choking with sobs. In the end, everything settled like dust. When I stepped out of the birthing chamber, the Marchioness looked at me with a smile, her eyes full of tears. I threw myself into her arms. Softly I called, Mother. A Shen Wei received no funeral rites and could not enter the Pei family ancestral hall. She had been an official slave. The child could only be recorded under my name and was given the name Pei Nian Jun. I handled her funeral affairs. It was simple, there was nothing more to say. Pei Sun sealed off Ningwen Pavilion. Three months later he requested a transfer to Huizhou. On the day he left the manor, half a year later, he stepped into Foyan Courtyard for the first time. We sat facing each other across the table. Early spring pear blossoms drifted down lazily, settling slowly into the wine cups. Shi Yao was my moment of foolishness. Pei Sun said frankly, I never intended anything. After this she will remain in the manor. You may arrange things as you see fit. I took a sip of wine and did not answer. I simply found it laughable. One moment of foolishness from him had cost the life of the beloved concubine he had once cherished. I am at ease knowing Nian Jun will be raised under your care, he said. Your character is noble. This time I am leaving for at least three to five years. Official experience is essential. I am not worried about mother, he added with a self-mocking smile. And you even less so. Pei Sun raised his cup. I leave the manor in your hands from now on. I clinked my cup against his. We drained them in one gulp. He turned and left. I leaned back, gazing through the last spring branches at the sunlight piercing through in shafts. The dayo does not end in the red dust of luxury. I hummed lazily. Nor can all the loves and hatreds of the mortal world ever be told. Strong wine poured down my throat. Spring wind brushed my cheeks. Petal after petal clung to my shoulders. Before my eyes was nothing but the colors of spring. Human life lasts, but a few autumns, I said, picking up the wine jar, rising unsteadily, and laughing. Until the wine is finished, I shall never stop.