Emma Thompson Could Have Been Our First Lady

My first guest tonight is the only person to win an Oscar for both acting and writing. Her latest film is The Children Act. I have to be sure you know what you're doing. Leukemia is a very serious illness. Refusing a blood transfusion when it could save your life. Some people think you've been unduly influenced by your parents and the elders. Others think that you're awfully clever and we should just let you get on with it. Should we? Let you do yourself in? Somehow I've got to decide. I think it's my choice. I'm afraid the law doesn't agree. The law is an ass. Please welcome Emma Thompson. I'm so glad I've taped the mic to my thigh with gaffer tape. Hi. Hello. I'm an enormous fan. I can't believe I haven't had a chance to talk to you just now. I know and we danced first. I know. You can do it all. You can dance as we can see. You're a triple threat. You're a dramatic actress. You're a hilarious comedic actress. Proof in the pudding right here. This is you. You started off at Cambridge in the Cambridge Footlights. This is your bio right there. Right above our friend Hugh Laurie right here. This is you. If you don't mind, I'm going to read your bio here. Shaves her head. Wears baggy trousers and little round glasses. Deplores debilitaries. Drinks pints. Protests regularly. Votes Socialist Workers Party. Supports Spurs. Eats fire. Soaks pulses. Wrestles. Squats. Is concerned. Refuses to be stereotyped. Okay? Oh, boy. My question is... Yeah, nothing's changed. My question is that how much of that still applies? Yeah, well, pretty much all of it, although I do shave my legs. You do? Yeah. You still squat? I do, yeah. I did some this morning, actually. Oh, good. I'm beginning to regret them, but... What else have we got? Shaves her head. Yeah, I've done that twice. Yes. Recently it looks like. I still wear baggy trousers. Yes. Yeah, it's kind of... That was always the joke. The joke was I was going to end up doing street theatre in India. Oh, really? Yeah. Did you end up doing street theatre? I was a bit earnest, I think. Dude, I had a girlfriend in college who wanted us to do street theatre. And I always thought, like, those people in the street don't want to see us do theatre. No. They're just trying to get to work. We're an obstruction. Yeah. Don't ever do it. It's like clowns, you know? Or people doing mime and stuff in the street. You just... Immediately turns me into a psychopath. I just want to kill them. They're a public hazard. Awful. I understand that sketch comedy, or failure of sketch comedy, got you to Sense and Sensibility. How did that happen? Oh, well, um... So, yes, another sketch I wrote for a television series was about a Victorian woman coming home... It's all about sex. I can't believe it. Anyway, never mind. It's fine. It's interesting. A Victorian woman coming home to talk to her mother. And as the conversation transpires, she's talking about the fact that her husband is a scientist and, at some point over breakfast, he's shown her a little creature that seems to live in his lap and that he says to her, Do you know what this is? And she then describes the behaviour of this little creature and you realise that he's talking about his genitals and she doesn't know what they are because she's been brought up, as so many women were in those days, in absolute and utter ignorance, not only of sex and the Sex Act, but also of people's genitalia. And the male genitalia, which, as we all can agree, I think, is, upon first sight, relatively alarming and not... 100%. 100%. Come on! 100%. We're so... We're so sorry. It takes a while... It does. ..to accustom. It looks like it's in its pupa stage. Yep. It... So, that's what... The joke was about this, and for some reason or other, the producer of Sense and Sensibility watched this sketch, this actual sketch, and thought, she's the woman I want to adapt Jane Austen to the screen. And adapt you did. What a brilliant, beautiful... I love that movie. I've seen it so many times. I... And you... It was quite meaningful, quite a meaningful movie for you too because Kate Winslet, who plays Marianne Dashwood, your sister, in this, she almost dies out from a crush for this man, Mr Willoughby. She basically goes out into the rain looking for him and nearly dies. Yes. OK. Yes. They're very, very delicate women back in Jane Austen's day. They're not waterproof. No. OK? And she doesn't get him, but you did, cos this is now your husband, which somehow I did not know. This is Greg Wise, your husband. He doesn't look like that anymore. Don't panic. It's fine. He doesn't look like this? You know, he's kind of... No, it's all good. It's all good. It's good? It's all good. Yeah, yeah. Donald Trump, I understand, asked you out once. Don't remind me! The one that got away. How did that...? This is not a picture of him. I don't think... I don't believe that's a picture of him. He did. But how did that happen, Emma? I don't know. He's weird. He just rang. I was in my trailer, I was making Primary Colours, and we were in the Universal Studios and I had a trailer and I had an old Bakelite phone in it that never rang. I didn't know what the number was. And it rang one day and it was Donald Trump. He somehow got your number? He got the number in my trailer. Weird. And, I mean, in those days, he was just a kind of tacky property owner, you know? Sorry, everyone. These days, too, really. I'm sorry for your loss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what's weird? You're essentially playing Hillary Clinton. I know. And he asked you out while you were playing Hillary Clinton. Yes. So this whole thing, this whole last election, could have been like a weird fatal attraction situation. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's tempting, isn't it? It really is tempting to... ..boil him. But... Metaphorically. Metaphorically and psychologically, just for legal reasons, let's say. Let's say. Just for legal reasons, say that. No, but, I mean, yes, it was very, very strange. Just think of the position I could be in now. You could be... You could be the First Lady of the United States. Yeah. You could be that happy, happy lady. I could have my... Yeah. You threw it all away. Think of the conversation I could be having. And my choice of heels. Oh, it would be so lovely. But also, I would know what... I'd be able to just go... ..to the hair. Find out what goes on underneath it. You don't want to know? No, I don't think I do. It's like looking at the back of Voldemort's head. You don't want to look at that. OK. I'm not sure how much of this is going to make it to air, but let's keep moving. No, none of it. Now, your new movie is called The Children Act. Yes. And you play a family court judge, I understand. Did it give you insight into the judicial system over there? I mean, there are some complaints. I actually read an article on The Guardian right before the show tonight saying that people say these family courts in the UK have too much power to take away people's children in order to affect the lives of people's families. No, I mean, I think that... I think the judges that I've met and spoke to would say... ..would say quite the opposite, actually. And at the moment, we're in big trouble because since legal aid was cut, we have what, in our courts now, what we call litigants in person, which means that people come in and they defend themselves because they don't understand the letter of the law. It takes much longer, it costs much more. So, in fact, at the moment, the family courts are really hobbled by a lot of the laws that we've passed recently. I mean, you know, we're all in big trouble at the moment, aren't we, anyway? Yes. I nearly wore a white wimple, actually, cos I thought this was a little bit Handmaid's Tale. I thought perhaps I'd wear a napkin or something, just because of Brett Kavanaugh, you know, cos it was just so terrible when that happened. I'm so sorry. Oh, God. It's all so terrible. Let's talk about something else. I would love to, but we have to go, I'm afraid. No, no, no, no, no. Surely not. We could be here for days! It's an actual drink. It's an actual drink. Would you like a drink? Yes! Of course! Do you want scotch, bourbon, rum? Bourbon, would you...? A spot of rum would be lovely. Thank you so much. You're welcome. This is contraband. It's from Cuba. Oh, good. Don't tell anyone. Well, here is to... Here's to you. It's quite good, isn't it? Here's to you. And here's to cabaret, and here's to dancing. Emma, thank you so much for being here. The Children Act is in theatres September 14th and on DirecTV now. Emma Thompson, everybody. We'll be right back with pop star Troye Sivan.