The Full Life Crew: Top 2 Reasons for a Successful Marriage

The real question is this, are we living a full life? Are we making the right decisions when it comes to children, marriage, work, faith, and so many more issues we deal with daily? How can we know with confidence we are living a full life? Welcome to the Full Life Crew Podcast. We are your host and life coaches, Jareth and Deborah Navarro. We will help you find the confidence in those critical areas of your life. Our goal is to help you bring to your family the support, structure, and providence we all desire so we can live the life we want to live, a complete life, a joyful life. We are so glad you're here. Now let's get started. Hey, welcome to the podcast. I'm Jareth. And I'm Deborah. And we are the Full Life Crew, and today we're going to be talking about marriage. Ooh, marriage. Marriage, yes. That's a good topic. It is a great topic. You know, I enjoy being married. I hope you do. That's a weird way to start the podcast. But I do. Is that something you're trying to tell me? I do enjoy being married. I enjoy having, like... I would hope. We've been doing this for 20 some odd years. I hope you're enjoying it. I mean, you're my best friend, so I enjoy doing life with you. This may end our marriage here. This podcast may be the end of our marriage. This is the end of the marriage. No, for real, though. I don't know why I find it so funny, but anyway, moving on, today in this podcast, we are going to go toe-to-toe, back and forth. You go first. Ladies first. It's the right thing to do. Right? Sure. Yes. I'm all in. I know you're all about this women's lib, and you know, I sometimes will agree with women's lib, but most of the time, I am thoroughly against it, especially when I have to drive. I think these cookies are phenomenal. We need to talk about these cookies. These cookies are amazing. Like, I quit eating my cookies so I could, you know, talk to you, but you're over there I can't stop eating the cookie. It's phenomenal. So these cookies come from, first of all, I know you can't see the cookies, but this cookie is the size of a UFO. I think it weighs at least a pound and a half. So I have a kid on one of our baseball teams, and his mom made these cookies one time. She gave me some, and I was like, oh my goodness, these cookies are phenomenal. And so it was my birthday yesterday, and she made me some of these cookies. So yeah, today we're going to be going toe-to-toe, back and forth, ladies first, obviously, and we're going to be discussing what we think are number one and number two reasons are, from a woman's perspective, from your perspective, and from my perspective, of what has made our marriage successful for the last 20 plus years. Ooh, okay, and I'm the one going first here? I would just like to note, normally when we do our podcast, we sit down and we have kind of like a little cheat sheet, and we talk about it, and we prepare. This podcast is straight out of left field, and I'm hitting her right down the center, and you're up, baby. So here is the question. What is the number, let's start with the number two. So you really have to figure out what your number one is going to be. Yeah, I know, this is kind of difficult. Then you got to back up one. So let's start with number two. What is the number two reason that you would equate to having a long, successful, happy, mostly fight-free marriage? Okay, well- Let me get a pen, I want to write this down. You know, there's a lot of things that we do in our marriage, but I would have to say- It's number two. I know. These cookies are phenomenal. Number two would be, I don't even know. Wow, wow, that's devastating. It's devastating. To me, I feel devastated right now. Why? Because you don't know what the number one and two things are that make our marriage successful. Because our marriage works, like it just works. But what are the number one and two things that we do that makes it work? Okay, number two would probably be, we, or I, us together, we- Have you ever dreamed of owning your own business? Maybe you thought about franchises, but weren't quite sure which one's right for you? Well, let me tell you a little bit about Tiki's. Tiki's is a shaved ice, ice cream, and coffee franchise that started in Boca Raton, Florida, and now has expanded into multiple locations across the U.S. So what makes Tiki's so special? Well, Tiki's offers unique products that people love. Shaved ice, ice cream, and coffee. Not to mention their franchise model is low cost and easy to operate. Tiki's also provides extensive training and support to all their franchisees. So if you're looking for an opportunity to be your own boss, then I urge you to consider Tiki's Franchising. Contact them today at tikisfranchising.com to learn more about the franchise. Listen to each other. I think you tune in to me, and you hear what I say. Sometimes you don't even hear me. It's just by my actions. Like today with the printer? Today with the printer, yes. Today was a horrible- Okay, so our printer decides that it is no longer going to connect to a Wi-Fi. And it is going to tell me there is an error. And I call the printer people. It sounds like some strange company like, Hey, call us. We're the printer people. Well, I don't want to say the name of the printer because they're probably really good printers. Shaquille O'Neal. But I called the printer people. And first of all, I had kind of a hard time understanding the lady. But she tried to walk me through, and I'm like, Ma'am, I've already done this. I've already done this. So finally at the end of the thing, I was like, Look, thank you for your time. I'll call you back if I need you. So about this time, I call in because I was down the road. I was down the road about an hour away, and I called Debra. I can hear a panic in her voice. It was more of, I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. This is something silly. Do not cry. But it was getting the best of me. And she ended up crying. I did because he was trying to, he could tell I was in distress. And he's like trying to walk me through it. And he was giving me these same steps the lady on the phone gave me. And I just had had enough. And I broke down. So I made you cry? You didn't. Yes, you made me cry today. But the point was, you were trying. You knew I was in distress. You knew I was very aggravated with the whole situation. You're making me choke up. You were assisting me. You were like, look, I know I can help her. Let me. And you were very calm about it. You were like, it's going to be okay. Let's try this. I bet it's this. But I was already done. So, you know. So I was the trigger that made you cry today. Actually not. I had already kind of broke down. But I didn't let myself cry all the way. But when you got home, you knew I was still very upset about this whole printer issue. And the first thing you did was you came and hugged me. I just think it's funny that you have eight kids. You run multiple businesses with me. And you're having a nervous breakdown over the printer. Yes. I guess because you felt so out of your league? Yes. Technology is not my friend. So back to the topic. Yes. What are the number two thing that you would equate our marriage being successful? Hang on. Is our marriage successful? I think our marriage is very successful. Okay. I was just double checking on that. I didn't think I made you cry today. But apparently I did make you cry. So I need to make sure that you do think we have a successful marriage. Okay. Good. I'm glad we cleared that up. No. I think being successful is you do listen to me. And you listen to things I say. I listen to things you say. And I listen to your body language at certain times. And I think us picking up on key things like that has definitely kept our marriage. So are you saying that it's more or less that I listen to you? Or is it just communication in general? Communication. So your number two is communication. Yeah. I guess you would say communication. Yes. I'm just trying to make sure that my is not the same as yours. So what is your number two now? Oh, FYI, I did get the printer working all by myself. And you feel so accomplished. I do feel very accomplished. Which is more the reason why you should drive me around. No. For those of you that don't know what we're talking about is I hate to drive. And so anytime we're going somewhere, I run and jump in the passenger seat. And Debra's like, I don't want to drive. I'm like, well, baby, you know, the whole women's liberation movement. I don't want to hold you back. You know, you need to be able to drive. And she gets so mad. She gets so mad. I'm just joking with her. I would drive if she... He's not joking. Okay. Number two for you. Number two for me. Since you've had all this time to think about it now. Number two for me. The number two reason, not the number one, but the number two reason that I believe our marriage has been so successful is because you and I have a common goal that we both work on every single day. And that is my number two. Okay. Please tell us what our common goal is. It's the well-being, health, and growth of our family. You are correct. Yes. I feel like I'm winning this. You're winning this. Is this a contest? This is not a contest because I already won today. Oh, well, okay. Well, with that being said, let's talk about your number one. My number one. Now, I'm nervous because I wonder if your number one is the same as mine. And, A, are you going to steal my number one and I'm going to have to go thinking for another number one. But is your number one... Because this is very concerning for me. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, okay, well, I know what my number one is. What if her number one is different and this whole thing has been propped up on a lie? It's okay to have two different number ones. Oh. But it's okay to have the same number one because either way the marriage is working. Well, I just want to let you know you're my number one. I just felt like I needed to go there. Well, thank you, honey. Well, then my number one is different from your number one. I'm joking. No, no, no, no. No, you're not my actual number one. I mean, no, you are my number one. I was like, if I was number one to myself, that would put you number two and, you know. All right, what's your number one? Okay, what is your number one reason why our marriage has been successful? My number one reason why our marriage has been successful... Cheers. ...is probably because he is my best friend. Oh, that is not what I was thinking. He is my best friend. I can do anything with him. Like, we go on vacation, but yet we can sit down and, you know, have a cry over a printer together. You know, he's my best friend. So that is what my number one is. Huh, interesting. I find that very interesting. I really thought deep down that your number one was going to be different. Really? Yeah. I didn't think it was going to be that. I mean, I'm glad that it's that. And I would agree we were good friends when we were young and then, you know. So, yeah, I mean, we're good friends. He says we're good friends. Anyway. Am I your buddy? You're going to go there? You're going to tell everybody my buddy story? You tell everybody else. No, it's okay. Why don't you tell all 50 listeners? It's okay. I'll still be your buddy, though. So the buddy story goes like this. We were just dating. A year into it, thank you. Oh, really? It was a year? You're making me feel bad. It was a year? No. Yeah, we had been dating a while. No, we had been dating a while. You sure? I'm sure. I'm a female. It couldn't have been a year. No, it was probably at least six months, though. Okay, well, what was it? We had been dating a while. Was it a year or six months? It was probably six months to a year, somewhere in between there. But it was not like we had been dating a month or anything like that. I think it was two months. No. I'm pretty sure it was two months. No. Now the buddy story is going to sound really bad on me. So the buddy story goes like this. We're at this fancy cocktail party for work. And yeah, so somebody had come up, and we were talking, and I introduced Debra. There was introductions going around. And we were what? We were still teenagers. We were still in high school. Yeah, but this was a big fancy party. Everybody's in suits and ties, and there's cocktails, and there's hors d'oeuvres. So there's a piano playing in the background. It's on top of a building looking over the city. Well, the refinery is where we live. And long story short, somebody walked up, and who's this? And I introduced you, and I said, this is Debra. She's my buddy. Yeah, so I have always been his buddy. I'm kind of glad I'm your buddy, though. What's the name of that YouTube channel we like to watch where he's always like, hey, bud? Yeah, he has a bud. What's the name of their channel? Oh, goodness. Oh, no. She just had a baby, though. Anyway, there's a YouTube channel we watch. I don't know why. I can't remember their name right there. But he always. Atticus. Sailing Atticus? Yes. Project Atticus. Yeah. And he always says, oh, okay, bud. So, see? It's a thing. You can be buds. Yeah, but when you're young, and you're dating, and you're six months to a year in, and you get, hey, this is my buddy. OK, number one for you. How did that make you feel? At the time? Yeah. I was like, wow. I thought I was his girlfriend. I feel terrible. Hey, I'm still around. I was young. I didn't know what I was doing. You didn't know what you were doing. OK, what is your number one? My number one reason why our marriage has worked thus far is because we rooted our marriage in our faith. And we live a sacramental marriage. I believe, excuse me, the cookie is still haunting me. I believe that the reason our marriage has been successful is because neither you or me are really in control of this. And the printer is a great example today. And all the ups and downs we've had in our marriage is many, many examples. And I think this whole marriage deal is almost like training day for hopefully something grander one day. Because marriage is tough. Raising kids is tough. Raising eight kids is tough. Throw on a business and other stuff. And it's very, very complicated. I agree. I agree with your number one. I really do. Because I don't think you or I would be here today if it wasn't for our faith. Yeah. So I think that that is, to me, that's the main reason. Because we started it off, we didn't go get married by the justice of the peace. We didn't get married on a beach. We didn't get, you know, we went through a process of making our faith the priority before marriage. And to even prove that, you were not the same, you didn't have the same religious background as me. No, I didn't. Yeah, you were a pagan. I was a Baptist. Thank you very much. I wanted to see your reaction. Thanks a lot. And even at the beginning of our marriage, I don't think we took our faith as serious as we should have. But I think our faith grew with us. Or we grew with the faith, more like it. So as we got older, and they say wiser, we learned that that was the key to our successful marriage so far. And I think if we lose that, then our marriage will go into a rocky state. I feel like we just entered marriage counseling. Marriage counseling. Okay, buddy. I'm eating more cookie. Marriage is all about cookies. If your wife can make great cookies, then your marriage will be okay. Well, I didn't make those cookies. I'm not good at this. Hey, listen out there. If our marriage can last, and I'm making all these buddy mistakes and cookie mistakes, you guys just hang in there. It'll work out. See, that's why you're my best friend. Why? Because you say things, and then I can come back at you. And you just laugh. So I want to add a bonus. A bonus? Okay. I want to add a bonus as to why I think our marriage has lasted so long. But you're the lady, so ladies can go first. Oh, no, you're adding the bonus. I'm not adding the bonus. I'll give you a second to think about it. So what do you think would be a bonus reason as to why our marriage has been so successful? You go first. Okay. I'll go first. There's something that you have developed over time that you didn't have in the beginning. And I think you developed this just at the right and crucial phases of our marriage, which really helped. I'm waiting. I'm scared to hear what you're going to say here. You don't know what you're going to say. No, no, I know what I'm going to say. I'm also pausing to give you some time to think about your bonus. Yeah, because I don't know my bonus. Wow. You only have two reasons why our marriage has been successful? Yeah. I feel like our marriage is fixing the engine. Okay. So in the beginning, I always had a sense of humor. Yes. I always made you laugh. Well, I didn't laugh all the time. What? I made you laugh? You've always made me laugh. See? You're like the comedian. That was it. That's what you developed that you didn't have in the beginning of our relationship. What? You had no sense of humor. You lived every moment like it was the most serious moment that was going to happen in the history of the planet. I'm like, okay, whatever. You're like, I got this test, and I made an 88.75. I'm like, so? I took a test. I made a D. And you were so stressing over all these little things. So I really had to work hard to try to make you laugh. I literally felt like I spent the first 10 years of our relationship trying to make you laugh. Now I laugh all the time. You do. I used to tell you stuff. I used to say stuff, and I'd be like rude, funny. How do you say rude, funny? Rude, funny. I don't know how you do it. When you say something like, oh, you stink today. Something like that. Just messing with you. And you'd be like, do I stink? Oh, my gosh, I stink. I smell terrible. Oh, I do. And the next thing I know, you're in the shower. Well, you don't tell a woman she stinks. I'm using stink, but for some reason, I can't think of some other things I would mess with you about. You messed with me all the time. I was trying to get a rise out of it. I was trying to make you laugh. Trying to lighten the mood. So your bonus thing is you think I laugh more. Yes, you have learned to lighten up and to laugh. Matter of fact, it reminds me of our little channel's motto. Life's a journey. Enjoy the ride. I don't think you enjoyed the ride today with the printer situation, but I think you're enjoying the ride better. I think you are more laid back in general, and you laugh more. And when you're laughing, it makes it hard for me to be mad or upset or nervous or whatever. I mean, we can both kind of look at each other and just laugh about it and be like, we've been in situations like, what are we going to do? Okay. Okay, my bonus. Oh, you have a bonus. I have a bonus. Lookie here. Ding, ding, ding. Break out the bonus. Okay, my bonus is over time, over the years, you know, you did have a birthday yesterday, so you're older and wiser now. But I'm not as old as you. Not as old as me, but. Wiser. I think over the years, you have become more patient with me also. And the kids. Oh, I agree 1,000%. I agree 2,000%. Are you trying to one up me? I am. No. When we first got married, the job you were at, it was very high. It was very stressful. It was very demanding. I don't think it had anything to do with the job. You were just, that's how it was, you know. And I think over the years, you know, working with people and then with me, you have learned patience. I don't think it was the job. I don't think the job is why I was so wound up in the beginning of our relationship. Okay. I was just a competitive. You were. Aggressive, you know, win it all costs type of guy. But you had to be because you had to be the top person at your job. Yeah. So I think just over the years, you have learned more patience. But it wasn't my job. That's how I was raised. My whole life I was doing that. Yeah. My whole life, like competing in sports, competing in school. My whole life I was trying to be the best. So that is my bonus. But I've learned though, as people of faith, that, you know, life is not all sunshine and rainbows and you don't win at everything. Matter of fact, I would have to say that you have to apply the 80-20 rule to life. You're going to fail at 80% of the stuff you try and only win at 20%. And I think when you're young, you know, when you're young, you know, I think of me as a parent, like when I'm young, like we did that podcast, Letting Your Kids Fail. You know, I know a lot of parents and me as a younger parent, I didn't want my kid to fail. You know, I didn't want him to fail. Oh, yeah. And so like, as I've gotten older, I've learned that failure is the best teacher. Like, you fail your way to success. And failing is okay. Failing is like taking steps. You have to fail. You have to, you got to keep going. The whole process is you got to keep going. You got to endure. Well, we have endured and we are still enduring. Yeah, we're still here. And we are still here. Well, we hope you like this podcast. But before we let you go, we got a couple things we want to tell you about. Number one, we're going to continue on the marriage podcast and hopefully we'll get at least 10 or 15 of them out there. We've been married a while. We're not marriage experts, but we do know a few things and we have experienced quite a lot. I think to be married 20 plus years in today's society, you know, that puts us in like maybe what, the top 25%? I'd have to say we're up there. Yeah, we're up there. So, and we have eight kids and we run a business. So, yeah, we feel like we have something to offer that you may benefit from. But we do need your help on a project. So, if you visit thefulllifecrew.com forward slash education, me and Debra are so tired about hearing about the border and the people coming across the border. So, we thought, how could we help with the border? And we thought, well, we have no way to help with the border. But what we could do is try to help in those countries where people are leaving. I thought, why would people leave their country? A, maybe they don't have opportunities. Maybe they don't have enough education. So, we teamed up with Food for the Poor. And if you go to fulllifecrew.com forward slash education, on that page, we are doing a year-long fundraiser. It is going to be our annual project. We're going to talk about it on our podcast. We're going to talk about it on our live videos. We're going to talk about it all year long. And our goal is to help build a school down in South and Central America and or the Caribbean. To help those people down there. Because we feel like if we could help them with education or anything like that, that would help them become more sustainable and not want to come here and, you know, grow and develop their families and businesses in their country. So, if you'd like to help, please go to fulllifecrew.com forward slash education. So, if you enjoyed this podcast today, please share it with your friends and family. And just remember, life's a journey. Enjoy the ride. Did you enjoy the podcast? Would you like to sponsor a podcast? If you're looking to advertise your brand product or message, our platforms are the best place to do it. We reach a large and engaging audience and we can help you get your message out there. If you want to learn more about how you can advertise with us, visit us at thefulllifecrew.com forward slash shop. So, thank you once again for listening and tuning into our podcast. And just remember, while you're out there trying to live your absolute best full life, life's a journey. Enjoy the ride.