Etiquette | Chapter 3-4 | Chinese Sketches | Herbert Allen Giles

3. Etiquette. If there is one thing more than another, after the possession of the Thirteen Classics, on which the Chinese especially pride themselves, it is—politeness. Even had their literature alone not sufficed to place them far higher in the scale of mental cultivation than the unlettered barbarian, a knowledge of those important forms and ceremonies which regulate daily intercourse between man and man—unknown, of course, to inhabitants of the outside nations—would have amply justified the graceful and polished Celestial in arrogating to himself the proud position he now occupies with so much satisfaction to himself. A few inquiring natives ask if foreigners have any notion at all of etiquette, and are always surprised, in proportion to their ignorance, to hear that our ideas of ceremony are fully as clumsy and complicated as their own. It must be well understood that we speak chiefly of the educated classes, and not of boys and compradoras who learn in a very short time both to touch their caps and wipe their noses on their master's pocket-handkerchiefs. Our observations will be confined to members of that vast body of men who pour day and night over the doctrine of the mean, and whose lips would scorn to utter the language of birds. And truly, if national greatness may be gauged by the mean and carriage of its people, China is without doubt entitled to a high place among the children of men. An official in full costume is a most imposing figure, and carries himself with great dignity and self-possession, albeit he is some four or five inches shorter than the average Englishman. In this respect he owes much to his long dress, which, by the way, we hope in course of time to see modified, but more to a close and patient study of the art now almost monopolized in Europe by aspirants to the triumphs of the stage. There is not a single awkward movement as the Chinese gentleman bows you into his house, or supplies you from his own hand with a cup of tea so necessary, as we shall show, to the harmony of the meeting. Not until his guest is seated will the host venture to take up his position on the right hand of the former, and even if, in the course of an excited conversation, either should raise himself, however slightly, from a sitting posture, it will be the bounden duty of the other to do so too. No gentleman would sit while his equal stood. Occasionally, where it is not intended to be over-respectful to a visitor, a servant will bring in the tea, one cup in each hand. Then standing before his master and guest, he will cross his arms, serving the latter who is at his right hand with the left hand, and his master with the right. The object of this is to expose the palm—in Chinese, the heart—of either hand to each recipient of tea. It is a token of fidelity and respect. The tea itself is called guest tea, and is not intended for drinking. It has a more useful mission than that of a laying thirst. Alas for the red-haired barbarian who greedily drinks off his cupful before ten words have been exchanged, and confirms the unfavorable opinion his host already entertains of the manners and customs of the West. And yet a little trouble spent in learning the quaint ceremonies of the Chinese would have gained him much esteem as an enlightened and tolerant man. For while despising us outwardly, the Chinese know well enough that inwardly we despise them, and thus it comes to pass that a voluntary concession on our part to any of their harmless prejudices is always gratefully acknowledged. To return, guest tea is provided to be used as a signal by either party that the interview is at an end. A guest no sooner raises his cup to his lips than a dozen voices shout to his chair-coolies, so too when the master of the house is prevented by other engagements from playing any longer the part of host. Without previous warning, usually except among intimate acquaintances, this tea should never be touched except as a signal of departure. Strangers meeting may freely ask each other their names, provinces, and even prospects. It is not so unusual as is generally supposed to inquire a person's age. It is always a compliment to an old man who is justly proud of his years, and takes the curious form of, your venerable tea. But middle-aged men do not as a rule care about the question, and their answers can rarely be depended upon. A man may be asked the number and sex of his children, also if his father and mother are still in the hall, i.e. alive. His wife, however, should never be alluded to even in the most indirect manner. Friends meeting, either or both being in sedan-chairs, stop their bears at once, and get out with all possible expedition. The same rule applies to acquaintances meeting on horseback. Spectacles must always be removed before addressing even the humblest individual. Sheer ignorance of which, most important custom has often, we imagine, led to rudeness from natives towards foreigners, where otherwise extreme courtesy would have been shown. In such cases a foreigner must yield, or take the chances of being snubbed. And where neither self-respect nor national dignity is compromised, we recommend him by all means to adopt the most conciliatory course. Chinese etiquette is a wide field for the student, and one which, we think, would well repay extensive and methodical exploration. End of Section 3 Section 4 Etiquette No. 2 The disadvantages of ignoring alike the language and customs of the Chinese are daily and hourly exemplified in the unsatisfactory relations which exist as a rule between master and servant. That the latter almost invariably despise their foreign patrons, and are only tempted to serve under them, by the permunerative nature of the employment, is a fact too well known to be contradicted, though why this should be so is a question which effectually puzzles many who are conscious of treating their native dependents only with extreme kindness and consideration. The answer, however, is not difficult for those who possess the merest interest in the workings of the Chinese mind. For just as every inhabitant of the eighteen provinces believes China to be the center of civilization and power, so does he infer that his language and customs are the only ones worthy of attention from native and barbarian alike. The very antagonism of the few foreign manners and habits he is obliged by his position to cultivate tend rather to confirm him in his own sense of superiority than otherwise. For who but a barbarian would defile the banquet hour when the wine mantles in the cups, with a white tablecloth, the badge of grief and death? How much more elegant is the soft red lacquer of the eight-fairy table, with all its associations of the bridal hour? The host, too, at the head of his own board, sitting in what should be the seat of the most honored guest, and putting the latter on his right instead of his left hand. Truly these red-haired barbarians are the very scum of the earth. By the time he has arrived at this conclusion, our native domestic has, by a direct process of reasoning, settled in his mind another important point, namely, that any practice of the civilities and ceremonies which Chinese custom exacts from the servant to the master would be entirely out of place in reference to the degraded being whom an accidental command of dollars has invested with the title, though hardly with the rights, of a patron. Consequently, little acts of gross rudeness, unperceived, of course, by the foreigner, characterize the everyday intercourse of master and servant in China. The houseboy presents himself for orders, and even waits at table, in short clothes, an insult no Chinaman would dare offer to one of his own countrymen. He meets his master with his tail tied round his head, and passes him in the street without touching his hat, that is, without standing still at the side of the street until his master has passed. He lolls about and scratches his head when receiving instructions, instead of standing in a respectful attitude with his hands at his side in a state of rest, enters a room with his shoes down at heel, or without socks, omits to rise at the approach of his master, mistress, or their friends, and commits numerous other petty breaches of decorum which would ensure his instant dismissal from the house of a Chinese gentleman. We ourselves take a pride in making our servants treat us with the same degree of outward respect they would show towards native masters, and we believe that by strictly adhering to this system we succeed in gaining, to some extent, their esteem. Inasmuch, however, as foreign susceptibilities are easily shocked on certain points ignored by Chinamen of no matter what social standing, we have found it necessary to introduce a special bill, known in our domestic circle as the Expectoration Act. Now it is a trite observation that the Chinese make capital soldiers, if they are well commanded, and what is the head of a large business establishment but the commander-in-chief of a small army? The efficiency of his force depends far more upon the general agencies brought to bear than upon any system of rewards and punishments human ingenuity can devise. For Chinamen, like other mortals, love to have their prejudices respected, and fear of shame and dread of ridicule are as deeply ingrained in their natures as in those of any nation under the sun. They have a horror of blows, not so much from the pain inflicted as from the sense of injury done to something more elevated than their mere corporeal frames. And a friend of ours once lost a good servant by merely, in hasty fit, throwing his sock at him. We therefore think that, considering the vast extent of the Chinese empire, and its innumerable population, all of whom are constructed mentally more or less on the same model, their language and customs are deserving of more attention than is generally paid to them by foreigners in China. End of section 4.