Matt Rife Arm Wrestles An Audience Member On Stage

My man here, you can eat that chip first. I know you're about to shovel it out. There you go. I didn't want to be disrespectful. How old are you? Oh, ----. You're not 22 years old. No, there's no ******* way that you're 22 years old, dude. Stand up. Stand up right now. Sit down, you big bitch, dude. Oh, my God. What do you do? I'm a system engineer at a nuclear power plant. We make power and energy for Oswego County further up north. You make the power and energy for an entire county? Yeah. By just going... Oh, you're gonna do it? Oh, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, dude. Dude, here's the thing. If I win, you gotta move to a different city. Let's do it, dog. Oh, dude, this is so scary. Shatters my ******* whatever this bone is. You ready, dog? All right. On three. Ready? One, three. Even struggling. I'm gonna come, dude. Oh, God. Dude, at one point, he rolled his eyes. Like, how disrespectful is that? Man, good game. It was pretty close. That second flip, you know. That's what everyone's gotta tell everybody. Like, I just fingered somebody, dude. My heart was killing me, dog. Oh, sweating. Back to eating chips like nothing happened. Like, I didn't just fight for it. I gave it everything I had. All right. Who's a sick, weak old woman? Who's next? So tired. When I tell you I gave everything. I watched that one dude who arm wrestles people on Instagram sometimes, and I was like, I gotta turn the wrist. And then he wouldn't let me turn the wrist. I was like, well, I don't know if you've ever flexed with your spine before, but I was using all of it. ****. It's crazy I won that. Aw, thank you, man. I appreciate you, man. Thank you very much. If my guardian angel is a black dude in a fedora, I could die happy. Y'all been so much ******* fun, dude. Seriously. Aw, I appreciate you, man. Thank you. This is why y'all need more black friends, man. White people don't support you the same. Mom or dad? Your mom was white? She was the first woman hired to Pennsylvania coal mines. Really? So she came out black? Because of the soot from the coal mines. You seem frustrated. We thought maybe a gift would help. I seem frustrated? A gift maybe help? Maybe after the show. Thank you so much. What is this? Don't clap. It could be a bomb. We don't know. We don't know yet. I came to Iowa and I kissed you. Listen, guys, I've never ended a show early before, but I I'm sure you would all understand if I had to wrap things up, right? There's one more thing in here. Cookies! Are you kidding me? The blowjob's gonna have a hard time beating this. It's like the perfect consistency too. Oh my God. Thank you so much. What's your name? Christina? You are so hot. Thank you so much. Oh my God. You're a grandma? Let's put that shower chair to use. There's already plastic on the furniture. Let's make a mess. How old are you? Say it. This is dirty talk to me. Come on. Forty-five? Are you serious? Are you from here? Really? We gotta get you out of here. Get the **** out of here. Minneapolis at least. Let's just get you down the road. You're not married or anything? You bunch of ******* idiots. Oh my God. You local morons not marrying this beautiful woman who makes great cookies. Stupid. I'm so sorry. Are you divorced? How long were you married for? Sixteen years? I'm so sorry. How many kids do you have? Four? That's enough though, right? You have your tubes tied? You do? ------- moved in the morning. Those are your sisters? You have three sisters? Nine? Would you like to have such a hot older sister? Does she know she's hot? Does she know that? She doesn't? Good. Keep her humble. You're nothing, Christina. You're gonna be stuck here in Iowa forever unless... That's a gas lighter. What's that? What was it? What did you want to show? Was it a bank statement? Your daughter? This is your daughter? Are you serious? Nobody else can see her actually. I don't want Iowa to know she's out here. This is your daughter? How old is she? This is the 21-year-old? This is a very tough decision to make, you guys. This is in Jacksonville, Florida? I'll be down there. I think later on this year. She looks exactly like you. Yes, she does. She's gorgeous. Alright, so I'm gonna date you for the next ten years and then we'll trade up. ****, this is about to be the most uncomfortable Thanksgiving I've ever been to in my entire life. Damn. Yeah, because if you taste this good, it's gonna be a problem. What's your biggest fear? Losing your kids. You might find them. That's bad. But if the one in Jacksonville goes missing, mind your business. She's in good hands. Got your phone? Alright, let's swipe out of Instagram and see what else is in here. Let's go through a photo album. Here's the thing. I won't open it if you just tell me what's in there. You got a lump in your breast? I had a mammogram. I'm best friends with my kids. And so I FaceTimed my daughter, the hot one. Uh-huh. You're not gonna ask for ugly people's advice. Yeah, I totally get it. There's screenshots of her and I FaceTimed me. With just a tit out. ****. Cause like you know it's in the palm of your hand. Did you get the results back? You're okay? Need a second opinion? Text messages. Text Maggie. Is that Maggie, your daughter? Maggie, that is not your angle. Where are you right now? Do you know how hot your mom is? I know, I know. You're well aware of your competition, right? You know you can't bring anybody home. I know. Your mom was stupid enough to give me her phone and I was going through your guys' text history. And uh... Gross. But I'm glad she got that lump checked out though. I checked it out. Everything's totally okay. Second opinion. Everything's totally alright. Can I see your kitties? Sure did. And um... You're a lucky ************. I don't know. Alright Maggie, say bye to your mom real quick. Bye mom, I love you. Bye mom. Bye Maggie. Fear them? What do you mean? What do you mean they fucked them up? Who fucked up your titties? The doctor? Do you have fake boobs? ****. Prove it. They make sounds. Like what? What sound do fake titties make? Cha-ching? Thank you guys for coming on this date with Christina and I. I hope you guys have thoroughly enjoyed watching me ruin this family. What was that? What the ****? You're lying. That did not just happen. Was that a real thing? She has a squeaky toy in her titties and you talking to a doll. That's crazy. I don't think that's a mistake. I think that's the best thing to have ever happened. You can get squeaky toys inside your titties? Can you customize them like a Tesla horn? What made you get them done? Four kids? You breastfeed? Two of them? Damn. Cause you know it goes great with cookies. Silicone.