My Narc Mother is Stalking Me! #narcissist #narcissism #narcissisticabuseawareness #npd #darvo

Hi, everybody. Spiritual Whistleblower here. Surprise. I wanted to do a pop-up video on y'all because as of recent, I got hoovered by my mother, okay? Now, y'all know I haven't been on here in a while because I'm out here enjoying life. Life has been lifing. Physically, I'm in the best shape of my life. This is the lowest. Y'all, I am still losing weight. I still cannot believe this is the smallest I've ever been. Okay. At one point I got down to 200 pounds right now. I'm 171 pounds and I'm tall. I'm five foot 10, five foot 11. I like, you can see my rib cage. My bones are starting to pop out. I've never been this small. So, um, but I'm healthy. I hired a fitness trainer. I work out with my trainer. I work out at home. Um, then take good care of my skin, my hair, my teeth um doing my daily power walks eating better feeling and i dance too i don't know if you follow me on instagram you will see that you know my hobby i my hobbies consist of dancing i am learning Brazilian Zouk and i dance latin hustle i love dancing um it is it's so therapeutic and you know the guys that i dance with are pretty hot and cute um so i've just been busy enjoying life life has been lifing you can tell my skin is glowing that um i'm in such a positive mood and that's why and another thing too guys i have been resting when you have dealt with narcissistic abuse in such a manner you basically your entire life and you finally get away from it you get away from the abusive family members you cut everybody off you isolate you go to therapy you you stay single you know you rid yourself of all toxic connections be it friendships lovers family and you just focus on you and your body starts healing you were gonna sleep a lot I have been sleeping so much and I thought it was fatigue and I'm like how can this be fatigued when um I have a burst of energy when I get up every morning I do my two-hour power walks religiously every day If I don't do my power walk, I feel off. My day doesn't go right. I wake up with a burst of energy, but there's points throughout my day where I just, I'm tired. I sleep and I rest. And I said, well, I'm in pretty good shape. I'm healthy. I stay in the doctor's office for my checkups. You know, I'm on top of things. I done got my colonoscopy, my mammograms, all of that. I'm in great shape. so where does this tired you know behavior what they call lethargic I don't think I'm lethargic I think I just I've been sleeping a lot and I saw this video clip of this doctor speaking about this you know pertaining to narcissistic abuse when you've suffered years of trauma at the hands of your family or your lover and your body finally starts to rest after you've you've cleared let me tell you something you've got to get rid of these people you get rid of these people it's going to take some time, but your body's going to respond. Your body's going to go through like this detox process. And I feel that's what's happening to me. My body says it's time to rest. It has to detox. It has to release. Do y'all know, do y'all know that the body stores trauma? I really believe this is why I have, I have a medical condition in my legs and thighs called lipoedema. And it's, it's like a really pebble like fat. It's a hardened fat that cannot be dissolved with exercise or diet. I had to have the lipoedema removed out of my legs surgically. My vascular surgeon cut my legs open and he removed seven pounds, eight pounds out of both inner thighs, chunk of fat, all that was lipoedema fat. That's why I could never lose the weight over the years in the gym. I'm like, my legs will not go down. What is wrong with my legs? But also I understand too, that when your body is under a lot of stress, the nervous system is always attacking it. What is it? Fight or flight mode or whatever. Your body will actually store trauma in different parts of the body. So now I realized that lipoedema in my legs was a result of child abuse. I've had big thighs since I was a little girl. And ever since I was a little girl, I've been getting beat on disrespected fat. My mother called me all types of fat names. My mother destroyed my self-esteem as a teenage girl. So now I'm coming into realization that, you know, that cortisol, you know, the body, when it's stressed, when you're stressed out, especially women, cortisol, you know, is, is, is forming and, and it increases in the body and it'll, it'll set in different parts of the body so now that I'm actually you know I'm almost 50 years old y'all I will be 49 years old in October I know I don't look it I really take good care of myself I don't look nothing like what I've been through and I definitely don't look like I'm 49 I look very youthful but um um after realizing this 40 plus years I said god damn my body is responding to the detox of all the trauma. It's not that I'm fatigued. It's just that my body says I need to rest. I have to adjust because you're no longer being abused or traumatized. I have to, I have to make a new adjustment. I was so used to the abuse and the trauma and I was storing trauma in different parts of the body. Now I got to get used to this detox. We got to listen to our bodies y'all when you get away from your narcissistic family your parents your lovers your body is going to tell you everything that you went through whether you get autoimmune listen and this is me coaching hundreds of people that have health issues due to narcissistic abuse when your nervous system is under attack you're going to deal with things like autoimmune disease thyroid problems uh ladies ovarian cancer PCOS endometriosis uh um did i say fibroids already ovarian cancer things going on and with the reproductive uh area okay we don't even want to go there uh lupus uh sickle cell flare-ups narcissistic abuse literally physically destroys the body who was you know i always bring this up y'all know this is the Braxtons, Toni Braxton Tamar Braxton if you ever watch their reality show all them sisters including the mother and the father they would gang up on one particular sibling they ganged up on Tracy all the time Tracy was the black sheep and the scapegoat of that family and she married a narcissistic man so she was getting abused by her husband he's a serial cheater but then she would turn around and get abused by her sisters and her mama her daddy they would gang up on her and what happened because she did not cut them off or or you know leave her cheating husband that abuse took a toll on her body Tracy succumbed to cancer at the age of what 48 49 she's my age her family did a number on her and that's what happens your body will break down why do you think the breast cancer rate is so high with women is so many women tolerating domestic violence and abuse at the hands of their narcissistic husbands and boyfriends and they're getting breast cancer the breast cancer rate is high so many women die of breast cancer cancer i feel is a result of narcissistic abuse okay autoimmune disease uh irritable bowel syndrome any type of issues with the stomach a lot of people have gastric problems all that is tied and connected to narcissistic abuse so if you don't get the **** away from your abusive parents your family toxic lovers all that your body will pay I promise you so I'm at this point right now where my body is doing a lot of resting even though I'm physically fit I feel great I wake up energetic I work out I do this and that I'm pre-menopausal too but I haven't hit menopause my body said it's okay to rest so I don't force myself when I feel like I need to rest I take naps if I take several naps during the day oh well oh ******* well my body has been through a lot and so have yours but let me let me get into this real quick I just need to share with y'all I got hoovered by my mother last month in July I cut the bitch off 15 plus years ago um and and she still continues to stalk me now of course and I did a podcast if you want to i will uh uh paste the clip down in the comment section i did a podcast taping with clinical psychologist dr jody lorman her podcast is called why whine why complain when you can whine sorry so uh we did an hour long and and i talk it over with her she's a clinical psychologist and she talks about stalkerish mothers who are narcissistic and they hoover and so you know i did that you know i i've been on the podcast several times but it's good to have these conversations with a licensed psychological psychological professional a mental health professional because your family will accuse you of being crazy and all that but how can my family call me crazy when i'm sitting here talking to a ******* specialist an actual psychologist a licensed clinical psychologist of 13 years that knows this stuff inside and out and she's telling me stay the **** away from your mother she's telling me you know um your mother behaves this way because of X, Y, and Z. Narcissistic parents will always try to suck you back into the dysfunction. Never trust them. So, um, I will post that link down the comment. If you want to see that interview, we just taped it last week, but yeah, my mother hits me up on Instagram last month. Y'all the nerve, the audacity, you know, this is after she tried to take me to court two years ago. Y'all remember when I did the mother's day video and I said, should my mother ever approached me i would kill her ass i will bust her upside her motherfucking head she took that youtube video and ran to the police mind you i live in New York I don't we don't even live in the same city same state we live miles and miles apart she's way down in South Jersey she uses the video to file a fake police report y'all and and crying damsel in distress playing the professional victim that's what narcissists are they're professional ******* serial victims oh my god i feel so threatened she threatened me I didn't threaten you what I said was in the context of self-defense should you ever approach me which means knock at my motherfucking door approach my child approach me in the streets I'm blacking out on your ass because I don't like you I think you're a ******* demon and I know for a fact you don't like me you never liked me you never loved me so she sent me this Instagram message to my inbox last month um basically playing victim she you know and I didn't buy any of it I felt the entire message was disingenuous and I'll tell you why in the message and I wish I could post it here I deleted it so fast y'all I gave I did not respond to it I feel she's full of ******* ---- and she's trying to save face or she's either watching me and she sees that I'm doing extremely well right now and you know my books are selling well I have this massive fan base and she wants to cash in she wants to you know narcissists love to clout chase and brag and attach themselves to successful people. So it could be that too. You know, the psychologist, Dr. Lorman told me that too. Your mama may want to cash in and how dare you be successful without me? So it could be that too. You know, whatever her ******* angle is, I don't think she's genuinely sorry. I think she's trying to find a way to get back in, to reconnect and mesh herself so she can regain that control She's lost a hundred percent control of me. She doesn't run my life. She does She's not in my personal business. I've set really strong boundaries and it's killing her because for once in in my entire life she cannot tell me to do ---- she can run my baby sister because my baby sister needs her my baby sister is ******* codependent as hell and my mother trained her to be that way but i don't need my mother for ---- i don't need her money i don't need her validation i don't need her approval i don't need i don't want nothing i don't i don't want her around me she's so ******* demonic i don't want a hug from her I don't want a kiss from her I don't ever want to see her again she is such an evil ******* human being it took me years to repair my self-esteem after years of what she has said to me body shaming me fat shaming me I was even sent you know I did a video you know I had gastric bypass surgery in 2003 and after being fat shamed my entire teenage years up until and when I decided to get the surgery she tried to talk me out of it like she was so concerned well your cousin Cheryl got the surgery and she didn't do so well. Well, Cheryl had a different type of ******* surgery in the eighties. This is a more advanced surgery, ma'am. And my surgeon is top a top A-list surgeon in Albany, New York. Dr. Tejinder Singh. He's still there right now practicing. Excellent. So the surgery has been, uh, advanced and I trust him. He's excellent. she tried to talk me out of it like she was so concerned if you was concerned bitch why did you visit me the day of surgery my family turned their backs my grandmother tried to talk me out of the surgery too and and and they didn't come to the hospital to support me they wasn't there before during or after a matter of fact I packed an overnight bag and I gave it to my baby sister I said can you bring it to the hospital it's a little bag I had a pair of underwear deodorant toiletries little extra things that I needed and I depended on my sister come visit me and bring it she would not bring the bag I had to send one of my friends to go get the bag from her y'all none of them came to support me and I had my baby was two years old none of them offered to babysit I had to call my girlfriend to babysit my child they acted real ******* ******* stank because I was getting a surgery that would make me look better help me to lose weight the idea of me evolving and leveling up and losing weight pissed them all off and they they showed they natural asses they all turned their backs when I had that surgery didn't come to the hospital to visit and all my friends came to visit family turned their back and my baby sister lived on the same street she lived a block away from the hospital walking distance five minutes walking distance from the hospital her apartment is right there on the same block asked me if she came to visit not one time driving around with her boyfriend with my overnight bag in the back of the ******* car would not bring it to me I had to send somebody to get my ---- from her motherfucking haters but let them tell it I'm hating and jealous so that they don't have nothing that I would never want to switch lives with my sister my sister has nothing that I ******* want I'm drop dead gorgeous too bitch and matter of fact I'm skinnier my body looks better than hers now the fat girl and leveled up and let's not compare resumes or education levels or none of that I would eat her ass and ---- on her so my mother cannot use the narrative that I'm jealous of my sister I'm sick of that motherfucking narrative but I'm gonna tell you something she reached out and she she sent me a message last month playing victim oh Chanel I actually I truly hope you're happy I don't know about you but I'm exhausted well you should be exhausted bitch being evil takes a lot of work being an evil ******* bitch an evil mother pitting your children against each other comparing your daughters posting one daughter all over your ******* facebook and praising her putting her on a ******* pedestal while you ---- on your other two children that's evil bitch and it does take a lot of energy to be that ******* evil you should be motherfucking exhausted bitch oh but the message goes on to say you know there's no handbook on motherhood or parenting more gaslighting because bitch back in I was born in 75 and I remember a Dr. Spock made a book on parenting there were several books and resources to help parents uh with their children aid in parenting so don't don't throw that in my face you and my father were ******* trifling bitch and you gave birth you we was not created out of love you didn't love me you didn't you don't love none of my siblings we were not created out of love we were created out of my grandmother pressuring you and my father to get married my grandmother pressuring y'all to have babies when y'all both weren't ******* ready y'all both were very broken ass people we were not created in love we we were created out of control my nana dominated both my mother and father pressured them to get married and to have grandchildren they were never ready we were not created out of love because when you love your children when you love truly love your children and you are truly empathetic love becomes an action and i'm not talking about providing a roof or clothes or food that's financial obligation that is not love love is nurture love is reading a bedtime story love is is admiring your children while they're sleeping kissing them on their forehead love is how you stroke your baby's forehead love is getting your child therapy getting them evaluated for ADHD ADHD and autism at an early age at your teacher at the teacher's suggestion but when you have a narcissistic parent they're going to be prideful ain't nothing wrong with my child i want nobody thinking nothing something's wrong with my child i don't give a **** what the teacher said i'm not doing that i'm not putting my child at every which my parents did i know my teachers told my ******* parents to to get me evaluated I know they did my parents turned their ******* back and here I am a grown woman I'm autistic y'all I have autism I had to find out late in my age that I'm ******* autistic I can't stand my ******* parents trash both of them but yeah she sends me the inbox message I don't know you know I'm exhausted um I always thought you were beautiful No, you think I'm beautiful now that I've lost the weight, bitch. When I was fat, you tore me down. You never thought I was beautiful. When I was overweight, 200, 250, 300 pounds, all you did was trash talk, tear me down. Look how fat your thighs are, you fat bitch, you fat pig. You jealous of your sister. You never always thought I was beautiful. You think I'm beautiful now because you're cyber stalking my social media and you see that I'm slim and looking good at 171 pounds. This is the tiniest I've ever been. I'm slim and I'm much thinner than my sister I bet none of you bitches can believe the weight loss the transformation is astronomical and you want to reconnect so you got bragging rights you want to be able to post me on your Facebook but you can't because people know that our relationship is fucked up so you want to do damage control bitch for your ******* image I will not let you do that not on my watch you never thought I was beautiful because when a mother thinks her child is beautiful she will breathe life into her no matter how big fat small skinny whatever when I was fat you tore me the **** down and that's why I attracted toxic niggas because I had low self-esteem because my mama made my self-esteem low my mother destroyed how I felt about myself when I was a teenage girl so all I've attracted was men that that that sought me because I didn't love myself thanks to the grooming of my toxic mother. My father completely abandoned his responsibilities. As a man, he's supposed to teach me how to stay away from toxic men, and he didn't do that. My father failed. ------- coward, ******* wimp, ******* pussy-ass nigga. And my father did not protect me from the man that molested me. When I told my daddy about that, I guarantee you, my father will not fight a man. My father will put his hands on a ******* woman before he puts his hands on a ******* man. My father never protected me or defended me. So I blame him, too. ------- pussy. She sends me the message. You know, there's no parent. There is no no handbook, no, no hand hand guide on motherhood. Well, I tell you what, I'm a single mother and I did way better than both of them combined raising my child. My child is disabled. When I needed love and support and help with my child because of her disability. my mother called cps my mother and sister worked together to call cps on me to make my life ******* hard as a parent ******* bitches and the word got back to me that my sister has a child with a developmental disability just imagine if i was just as ******* hateful and i called cps on her and i made a fake story a prank call the same way that she and my ******* mother did me and my child What kind of woman would I be? I'd be a low-level piece of ---- like both of them I'm not gonna stoop to that level It's just easier for God to step in and deal with both of them Them tables always turn Now I done raised my baby My baby want nothing to do with them My baby sees what they did My baby knows they were too trifling to send her a card For Christmas, birthday, prom, graduation My baby sees how my mother spoils the other ******* grandchildren And shits on her what excuse can you make for that you can't use the excuse oh I wanted to mail something but you know Chanel won't won't give it to you we would scare Chanel won't give you you know the gifts **** out of here save the receipts then such hypocrites to sit up and talk about how much of a deadbeat father my father is but she turned out to be a deadbeat grandmother she don't send my daughter ---- and now my my daughter is old enough to know they're all full of ---- all of them And my daughter doesn't want nothing from them. We will not accept nothing at this point because of this ******* trifling behavior, because of the constant triangulating, comparing, you know, this one to that one, treating those grandchildren better than this grandchild, treating this child better than this child. My mother has fucked up severely and she's got to deal with the consequences. I stand on business. So she claims she wants to meet with me private in the message. She says, oh, you know, I want to meet privately. Here's my number. I would never meet with her privately. I don't trust her. She's a compulsive liar, scammer. I've seen her do horrible things to other people, not just me. Her character and moral compass is in the ******* gutter. Hell no, I wouldn't ******* meet with you privately for what? And furthermore, I don't trust me because I'm at a point now I'm putting hands on a ************. I don't care if we blood related or not. You **** with me. You play in my face. You gaslight me. You lie. I will **** you up. I'm going to jail. So I'm not going to put myself in that predicament. I'm not going to put myself in an environment in front of an abuser where they can gaslight me and trigger me to act out of character. I don't want to be around her I don't want to be in the same room with her I avoid funerals and family functions to stay the **** away from this bitch now she wants to reach out because I'm popping I'm successful I look good I'm doing better than all them combined making good money all of that I got a fan base people lined up to come get my ******* autograph can't say the same about my sister but you want to get back in my life now you try you trying you trying to I see through the game I see through the game it's all game and y'all do y'all know in that message that she sent me she did not say I love you that's how I know the whole message was disingenuous not one time in the message, 'I love you', zero ******* empathy a ******* liar she has not changed it's like it will burn her tongue if she utters the words I love you she can't bring herself to say it to me. That's because she doesn't love me. She wants control. She wants the control back. And not one time in that message did she ask about my daughter. She has not seen my daughter in 15, 10, 15 years. And you don't ask how she's doing. Kiss my grandbaby. I bet she's beautiful. How's she doing? How's she been? She didn't ask nothing about my daughter. My daughter is the first grandchild born into our immediate family. Not one time. And I'm supposed to meet up with you privately and trust you and believe you bitch you have not changed get the **** on get the **** on we're done I don't ever want to see you again you go in a nursing home you better call on my sister the child that you praise so much let her change your diapers and push you around in a wheelchair and wipe your ass because it won't be me and I know my brother ain't doing it my brother can't stand my mother call on your child that you love so much and pray so much let her take care of your ass we all know how that's gonna turn out because she's a selfish bitch herself she's spoiled and rotten just the way that you made her and groomed her to be a self-entitled narcissistic brat i hope it works out because i will not be taking care of your ass rot in ******* hell i don't want no money i'm not attending your funeral i don't even want them to put my name in the ******* obituary our relationship is done you are not a nice person i don't care how much you you you you know go to church or you work for this charity or your industry's doing it you are a fraud a sociopath so i wanted to get on here and tell y'all that the hoovering and stalking will never end once you cut your family off they stalk they gang stalk they're all over your social media you can block a million times they keep making fake pages because they want you to come back to the dysfunction and you really got to stand on business and show them you're not the ******* one or the two come near me I'm gonna beat your ass come near me I'm gonna put you in jail it's one or the other but you're not gonna ******* play with me ever again I don't deal with unhealed toxic motherfuckers that are stuck in dysfunction I have evolved I have grown I have a close relationship with God and I don't want nobody ******* that up I don't want no distractions they still clicked up they still acting like gossiping mean girls they still they still set in they ******* ways why don't you just get over it dad you still holding on to the past dad dad you need what's wrong what no bitch it's called CPTSD complex post-traumatic stress disorder and because my mother has trash talked me so bad and told family that mentally there's something wrong with me I went and got help I got diagnosed I got my papers and I I'm taking the advice of my therapist very seriously and my therapist said stay the **** away from your family they are destructive they're toxic and once you cut them off you're going to do better you're going to excel and she's absolutely right my therapist was 100% right so I went and got that help absolutely and I'm gonna take the advice of my therapist very seriously and never **** with my mother or father ever again the pain you know the things they did to me that's a constant you know that healing is an ongoing process see an abuser wants you to forgive and forget immediately because they want to get back in your life so they can control you. No, no, no. I don't let nobody run my life. You'll never have that type of control ever again. Healing takes time. Healing is a process. And CPTSD is the same thing. My grandfather fought in the war. Look at all these veterans that are old, 80, 90 years old, and they still suffer from CPTSD from fighting in the war. They're never going to get over that because it's traumatizing. so how dare your mother or father tell you to get over the ---- they did to you when it has had a long-term lasting effect a damaging effect i have nightmares i have ---- it's horrible and you're gonna tell somebody to get over it who the **** is you you want me to forgive and forget and let you back in my life just so you can start your bullshit all over again abusers don't change your parents are not going to change they just mad that you cut their control off don't let them back in i want to dedicate this video to Rasha my sweet Rasha and i also all of you guys that have been following me and riding with me from day one we all in this together spiritual whistleblower hasn't changed i'm just lifing right now and taking good care of my health i love you guys let's talk about it in the comment section be blessed y'all Thank you.