Bandit iis joined by the Corgis--yes--THE Corgis

Welcome to the Bandit Show, sponsored by Sit Means Sit Dog Training. Today's guests are McFlurry, Pumpkin, and Noodles. Three Corgis. All the confidence of a German Shepherd, installed on the ground floor. McFlurry, your ancestors herded cattle. Bandit. The cow doesn't know how tall I am. I show up, establish boundaries, and move things where they belong. Cattle. Children. Delivery drivers. Yesterday, I put three grown men behind a baby gate. Nobody's measuring my legs when I'm running the meeting. You're 11 inches tall. Explain that relationship. Three men behind a baby gate. Somewhere, a bachelorette party paid extra for that. Ha, ha, ha. Pumpkin, you're supposed to be the brains here. Are corgis actually easy to train? Extremely. I trained my human to open the door, bring snacks, and move over on the bed. Took about a week. He still tells people he's the pack leader. I understand. I'm the host, but a man wearing cargo shorts decides when I can pee. Noodles, your owner says food keeps disappearing. Anything you'd like to confess? I'd like to clarify the word disappearing. We know where it went. There was an unattended sandwich. I waited a respectful amount of time. Nobody claimed it, so I stepped in. That wasn't temptation. That was a heist. Ha ha ha ha! McFlurry, let's discuss the sploot. Belly down, back legs out. Is that comfortable, or are you advertising something? That's a performance recovery position. I spend all day protecting this family. I need airflow. If somebody gets the full presentation, that's their choice. I didn't put the hallway there. Fair. I tried, I need airflow, at a restaurant. They asked me to leave the patio. Pumpkin, what's the downside of living with a corgi? And don't say humans. We've eliminated most of my material. People complain about shedding. We prefer Corgi Glitter. It's on your couch, in your car, and somehow inside a suitcase you haven't opened since March. A relationship that leaves hair on everything and never really ends. Finally, a breed with an honest brochure. Noodles, what should someone know before bringing a Corgi home? We need walks. We need things to do. We need you to stop saying, in a minute when dinner is already 40 minutes late. And don't fall for the little legs. I can reach that counter. I'm not saying how. The investigation is ongoing. Keep your lawyer. We'll call a trainer. Ha, ha, ha. Corgis are smart working dogs. Give them exercise, something useful to do, and consistent training. Because apparently, figure it out yourself ends with a sandwich investigation. Our friends at Sit Means Sit Dog Training can help. Visit sitmeanssit.com to find a trainer near you. McFlurry, Pumpkin, Noodles. Thank you for joining us. Noodles, please tell me you left something for the crew. Absolutely. I left the little toothpick with the flag on it. I'm not a monster bandit. I respect this country. Petty theft. Full patriotism. Autism. I'm Bandit. Good night, and check your sandwich.