Asking 80 Year Olds About Their Biggest Regrets In Life

What's a big mistake that you made, or a big regret that you have, that taught you a valuable lesson in your life? My haste to get married, and it backfired, really. I don't have any children. I did regret it, of course. Very few things in life are worth fighting over, but one sees the end coming. It took me... Quite a long time to realize that. In this video, I'll be in Montreal, Canada, asking strangers in their 70s, 80s, and 90s, some of the oldest and wisest people in the world about their biggest mistakes and their advice for someone of your age. How old are you? 96. 96? Yep. Seriously? Positively. Are you actually 96? I promise you I'm 96. Wow. Okay. I think I'm 93. Maybe it's 95, but I'm not sure. Somewhere around there. I just turned 75. What does it feel like to be 75? Honestly, I have not processed it yet because I'm fit. I play tennis four times a week and I'm really lucky health-wise. Each morning I go to the swimming pool before I go to work. I read, I walk, the bicycle. This is passion and when you love doing something it doesn't need effort to do it. I have a wonderful husband. A lot of friends, I can still do a lot of things. I had to give up a lot of things too. But that's the hard part of when you have to give up certain things because of your age. Where do you think people go wrong? I say a lot of people who are 75, just from our experience, they don't feel the way you feel. I don't know if it's so much they go wrong, but I think it has a lot to do with whether or not you're social, you're interacting a lot, you've got sort of friends, people that, you know, you can see and share with. I think that's a lot of it. People tend to get lonely, then they get withdrawn, and they get kind of grumpy, and then it affects their health. Since I'm feeling well, I have no complaints. But one sees the end coming. What does it feel like to see, you know, you described one sees the end coming. What does that feel like? I'm expecting my first great-granddaughter in January. I'd like to see her. I will die with a smile on my face, but regret that I'm missing so much. But also, I feel the world is going to hell, so I feel... It's a good time. No, I feel bad for my children. Yeah. What do you think makes a great life, in your opinion? What makes a meaningful life is to have good relationships with all kinds of people. Be able to talk to people from all kinds of generations. You notice I haven't said anything about children because I don't have any children. Was that your choice? Oh, absolutely. Do you regret that? No. Did you ever regret it? I did regret it, of course. I did feel that it's something that I should perhaps have done, but I wasn't cut out for it. When you think back on your life, what's a big mistake that you made or a big regret that you had at the time that taught you a very valuable lesson? My haste to get married. Hmm. Yeah, that would probably be it. So my marriage didn't work out and I was in a very good place professionally, gave everything up because I felt that the clock was ticking. And yeah, and it backfired really. I would have waited before getting married. I think I got married really before I should have. It took me quite a long time to realize that. So you're married? I was married when I died. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. How long were you married for? 45 years. No, 55, sorry. 55. What was the secret to a relationship lasting 55 years? Most people can't even find someone for a few months right now. Problem is people don't have trust to each other and respect to each other. You have to respect other person as much or even more than what respect you ask from other person and talk. Whatever disagreement you have, sit down and talk. Does it feel like we're missing that? Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Why? Because you guys don't have time to sit down, because you think you will lose something sitting down and talk to your partner. Yeah, we're too rushed, too busy. Yeah. I've been very lucky. I've been married 67 years. We got married very young. I was 22, she was 21, and we had all our kids by the time we were 30. Been a very happy marriage. And she has looked after me. She's still around? Yeah. Amazing. And she's in great shape. She looked after me when I was in my early 20s. I weighed like 240 pounds. And she got me eating correctly and exercising. And I think I'm in good shape physically. And I give a lot of the credit to her. What has been one of the secrets, if you're thinking about it, to the relationship being this amazing at this point? Compromise. No question. Very few things in life are worth fighting over. I wanted to go downtown, she wanted Westmount Square, so we went to Westmount Square and I'm very happy. Compromise, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Happy wife, happy life, it's true. Yeah, it's not worth fighting over. Can you define the word love? Extreme respect and caring. No more than that. The physical side dies early. How long have you been married for? How long were you married for? I was married for... 50 years and yourself okay yeah there are a few oh yeah i'm kind of like henry viii There you go. but i've i've only had three okay so i was divorced after 24 years of marriage that was very tough and then i had a relationship for about 21 years and that my husband died I had Alzheimer's, so then my present husband... I hope that's it. What? I think my last husband also lost his wife. We have been together now for 10 years. Wow. Yeah, very lucky. We have this expression that we both have a lot of baggage. We met when we were 72 years old. So you're going to have a lot of baggage. So you give each other a generous baggage allowance. At all ages. Yes. Of course, at all ages. It's not easy to share your life with a person. You're never going to have the exact same response to things. Recognizing that your point of view may not be the other person's point of view. A lot of tolerance. Right. Can you guys define the word love for me? Love to me is a commitment. It isn't just something that happens to you. Yeah. You know, like pow, love. It's something you work at. It's something that you have to nourish. Yeah. And you grow into it. love relationship it's not a 30 second like it doesn't happen at first sight yeah maybe lust happens at first sight but uh love is something that uh takes a while to really nourish you and me right now we're talking in a park on a beautiful day and we wanted to make a painting here that shows kind of like our story it's like a young person and an old person having a conversation about life but also to show people one conversation you have with somebody might change your life I'm from Haiti, it's a country of artists. What I feel when I saw that, it shows the transfer of knowledge. If you cannot travel, you could talk to people who's older, who could give you experiences. What's the value of speaking to another stranger, you think? The human relationship. It's the human touch, the human. Human touch, the feeling. That's right. That's what life is about, basically. Well, hopefully both of us are open to being able to hear what, you know, share some experiences, share some learnings, and from both sides, right? But as the older person, hopefully you're listening too. Yeah, because we can both learn from each other, right? That's right. Do you wish young people did this more? For sure. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. More. Yeah. Not just young people, but everybody. Yeah. Don't see gray hair and think of. Right. One lesson I've learned from all of these interviews. is that surrounding yourself with the right people and the right environment is crucial to achieving the lifestyle that you want to live and for us having this piece draped up in your home or in your workspace instantly reminds you and motivates you every single day to become the best version of yourself. We work with one of my really good friends in Montreal who hand painted this and so if you want to support her and you want to make sure that you brighten up your living and workspace I highly recommend you grab a copy. There are limited copies available linked in the description below. If you were to put yourself here and let's say this was me, what advice would you give to me on living a great life? Maybe something you wish me and people my age would learn a little sooner. Make a point of knowing, liking and communicating with as many people as you can. Look after yourself. Take care of yourself. Don't abuse yourself. Yeah. Look after yourself. Keep your options open, and travel is a big, big way to open your mind. So make sure that whatever you do in life, you get into doing some international travel. I love that. Travel, expose yourself, and for God's sake, be tolerant. I've kind of learned that... I don't like to give advice because I don't actually like it when people give me advice. So all I can do is really talk about what my life is and my decisions. No, I don't have any advice, but I've got a lot of experience. Thank you so much for watching this video. If you enjoyed the advice you heard and you want to bring some of it into your space, make sure to check out our new piece of art, A Conversation About Life, link in the description. Thanks again, and we'll see you in the next one.