The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger, Jr. read by Various | Full Audio Book
Nov 12, 2026
The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger, Jr. (1832 - 1899) and Thomas Chandler Haliburton (1796 - 1865)
Genre(s): Multi-version (Weekly and Fortnightly poetry)
Read by: Brize C, Beeswaxcandle, dc, David Lawrence, Garth Burton, Josh Hickman, Lee Ann Howlett, PaulClayton, Phil Schempf in English
Chapters:
00:00:00 - 01 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by BLC
00:01:21 - 02 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by BWC
00:02:30 - 03 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by DC
00:03:43 - 04 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by DL
00:05:09 - 05 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by GLN
00:06:37 - 06 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by JKH
00:07:44 - 07 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by LAH
00:08:59 - 08 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by PAC
00:10:12 - 09 - The Dinner Table Talk - read by PFS
LibriVox volunteers bring you 9 recordings of The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger, Jr. and Thomas Chandler Haliburton.This was the Weekly Poetry project for February 15, 2026. ------Horatio Alger Jr. was an American author who wrote young adult novels about impoverished boys and their rise from humble backgrounds to middle-class security and comfort through good works. Thomas Chandler Haliburton was a Nova Scotian politician, judge, and author who was the first international best-selling fiction author from what is now Canada. His fame came from his writings on history, politics, farm improvement, and from his The Clockmaker serial, that described the humorous adventures of Sam Slick. - Summary by Wikipedia
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Video Summary
AI GeneratedThis transcript consists of multiple readings of the poem \"The Dinner Table Talk\" by Horatio Alger Jr. and Thomas Chandler Halliburton, recorded for LibriVox.org. The poem reflects on the sensory pleasures of a well-appointed dinner table, the struggle with indigestion, and a satirical comparison between earthly luxury and the promised rewards of paradise.
The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger,
Jr. and Thomas Chandler Halliburton.
Read for LibriVox.org by Bryce Kreis, Ohio.
Now soup, if you like made of beef very nice,
you'll find this the next thing to the height of perfection.
And eaten with ketchup or thickened with rice will suit you,
I know, if this is your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure of dinner,
except it's well tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving measure.
A table well ordered, well furnished and neat,
no wonder our nature forever is tempting,
and I'd like to know if Muhammad could beat its pleasures,
dyspepsia forever exempting.
With all that he promised and paradise gained,
With hurries attended in place of the churls,
With which we are worried, tormented, and pained,
The colored men servants, or green Irish girls.
End of poem. This recording is in the public domain.
A Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger-Dupin
and Thomas Chandler-Halliburton.
Read for LibriVox.org by Beeswisk.
Now, a soup, if you like, made of beef, very nice.
You'll find this the next thing to the height of perfection.
And eaten with ketchup, or thickened with rice,
will suit you, I know, if this is your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure
if dinner except it's well tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving measure.
A table well-ordered, well-furnished and neat.
No wonder our nature forever is tempting.
And I'd like to know if Mahomet could beat its pleasures,
dyspepsia forever exempting,
with all that he promised and paradise gained,
with who he's attended in place of the churls,
with which we are worried, tormented and pained,
the coloured man's servants, or green Irish girls.
End of poem.
This recording is in the public domain.
The Dinner Table Talk
by Horatio Alger Jr. and Thomas Chandler Halliburton.
Now soup, if you like made of beef very nice,
you'll find this the next thing to the height
of perfection, and eaten with ketchup
or thickened with rice will suit you, I know, if this is
your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure
of dinner, except it's well tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving
measure.
A table well-ordered, well-furnished and neat.
No wonder our nature forever is tempting.
And I'd like to know if Mohammed could beat its pleasures,
dyspepsia forever exempting,
with all that he promised in paradise gained,
with hurries attendant in place of the churls,
with which we are worried, tormented and pained,
the coloured men servants or green Irish girls.
End of poem.
This recording is in the public domain.
The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger,
Jr. and Thomas Chandler Halliburton
Read for LibriVox.org by David Lawrence
In Ottawa, Ontario, February 2026
Now soup, if you like made of beef very nice,
you'll find this the next thing to the height of perfection.
And eaten with ketchup, or thickened with rice,
will suit you, I know, if this is your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure of dinner,
except it's well tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving measure.
A table well-ordered, well-furnished and neat,
no wonder our nature forever is tempting.
And I'd like to know if Muhammad could beat its pleasures,
dyspepsia forever exempting,
with all that he promised in paradise gained.
With Horace attendant in place of the churls,
with which we are worried, tormented and pained.
The coloured men servants or green Irish girls.
End of poem.
This recording is in the public domain.
The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger,
Jr. and Thomas Chandler Halliburton
Read for LibriVox.org by Garth Burton
Now soup, if you like, made of beef, very nice.
You'll find this the next thing to the height of perfection.
And eaten with ketchup, or thickened with rice,
will suit you, I know, if this is your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure of dinner,
except it's well-tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving measure.
A table well-ordered, well-furnished, and neat.
No wonder our nature for ever is tempting,
and I'd like to know if Mahomet could beat its pleasures.
Dyspepsia for ever exempting,
with all that he promised in paradise gained,
with Horace attendant in place of the churls
with which we are worried, tormented, and pained.
The coloured men servants, or green Irish girls,
End of poem. This recording is in the public domain.
The Dinner Table Talk
by Horatio Alger Jr. and Thomas Chandler Halliburton,
read for LibriVox.org by Josh Hickman.
Now soup, if you like made of beef very nice,
you'll find this the next thing to the height
of perfection, and eaten with ketchup
or thickened with rice will suit you I know
if this is your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure
of dinner except it's well-tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving measure.
A table well-ordered, well-furnished and neat,
no wonder our nature forever is tempting.
And I'd like to know if Mahomet could beat its pleasures,
dyspepsia forever exempting,
with all that he promised in paradise gained.
With Horace attendant in place of the churls,
with which we are worried,
tormented and pained, the coloured men-servants or green Irish girls.
End of poem. This recording is in the public domain.
The Dinner Table Talk
by Horatio Alger Jr. and Thomas Chandler Halliburton.
Read for LibriVox.org by Leanne Howlett.
Now soup, if you like made of beef, very nice.
You'll find this the next thing to be the height of perfection.
And eaten with ketchup or thickened with rice will suit you,
I know, if this is your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure
of dinner, except its well-tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving measure.
A table well-ordered, well-furnished and neat.
No wonder our nature forever is tempting,
and I'd like to know if Mahomet could beat its pleasures,
dyspepsia forever exempting.
With all that he promised in paradise gained,
With Horace attendant in place of the churls,
With which we are worried, tormented, and pained,
The colored men's servants are green Irish girls.
End of poem.
This recording is in the public domain.
The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger Jr.
and Thomas Chandler Halliburton
Read for LibriVox.org by Paul Clayton
Now soup, if you like, made of beef, very nice.
you'll find this the next thing to the height of perfection
and eaten with ketchup or thickened with rice will suit you i know
if this is your selection my own disposition to this one inclines
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure
Of dinner, except it's well tinctured with wines,
which plan I adopt as a health-giving measure.
A table well ordered, well furnished and neat.
No wonder our nature forever is tempting.
And I'd like to know if Mohamed could beat.
Its pleasures dyspepsia forever exempting.
With all that he promised in paradise gained.
With Horace attendant in place of the churls.
With which we are worried, tormented and pained.
The coloured men's servants or green Irish girls.
End of poem.
This recording is in the public domain.
The Dinner Table Talk by Horatio Alger Jr.
Read for LibriVox.org by Phil Schampf.
Now soup, if you like, made of beef, very nice.
You'll find this the next thing to the height of perfection.
And eaten with ketchup or thickened with rice
will suit you, I know, if this is your selection.
My own disposition to this one inclines,
but dreadful dyspepsia destroys all the pleasure of dinner.
except it's well tinctured with wines which plan i adopt
as a health-giving measure a table well ordered well furnished
and neat no wonder our nature forever is tempting and i'd like to know
if mahomet could beat its pleasures dyspepsia forever exempting
with all that he promised in paradise gained, with houris attendant
in place of the churls, with which we are worried, tormented,
and pained, the colored men's servants, or green Irish girls.
End of poem. This recording is in the public domain.