5 Things To Avoid When Scuba Diving

Growing up, your mummy or daddy or gender-neutral caregiver should have told you not to touch this or do that, and it wasn't to spoil your fun, it was actually for your best interest. Today, I'm going to be stepping in as your gender-neutral caregiver, but if you're into it, you can call me daddy if you like, or father if you're more formal, and I'm going to help teach you what not to do whilst diving. Can I call you daddy? No, we've spoken about this. Hi, I'm Mark, and you can just call me Mark, and here are five things to avoid when scuba diving. Number one, don't harass the marine life. This one's drummed into you pretty early in most courses. If you see something cool in the water, then don't touch it, just look at it, and that includes Dave on the boat. Just don't touch Dave. Take a picture or a video so you can look at it better when you get back to dry land. Just don't corner things or chase after them to get that picture. Just let it do its thing, and especially at night, don't shine your 800 lumen dive torch in their eyes when they're trying to sleep. Sean really doesn't seem to like it when I break into his house and shine my torch in his face when he's in bed. I have nothing to say to that. I've told you many a time not to do it. Number two, don't chum the water. Rigs are pretty tough. You can cough, you can sneeze, you can spit through them, and you can even throw up through them if you need to. Believe me. If you swallow a small amount of seawater, then trust me, you'll be seeing that again pretty soon. Yes, it does attract the local wildlife closer to you, but you don't feel so great afterwards, and your airway control really needs to be on point. And don't even get me started on closed circuit rebreathers. If you throw up into one of them, just bail out. Swap it further around the loop, and then seeing it again, mix with caustic soda this time. Number three, don't land on stuff or break coral. One of the worst things you can probably land on is a stonefish, or any scorpion fish, or you know what, any animal with a nasty sharp spine on it. Coral doesn't react too well neither when trodden on, so try to make sure that you're not wearing too much lead, and you can control your buoyancy from the get-go. It isn't a race to the bottom, so do your best to maintain neutral buoyancy at all times, and you know, don't race one another to the surface neither. That isn't so much fun, and is actually much more expensive with your private suite in the local chamber. Number four, I'll be having that. Yes, this one has some pretty serious consequences. Not that standing on a stonefish is a joke, but there's been a few guys out there that are doing some serious time for lifting things that they really shouldn't have. If something looks cool underwater, just like the marine life, just take a picture and don't take the shiny thing. Just leave it there. Just ask Indiana Jones. Lifting things doesn't really work out too well for him, does it? Gone are the days of finders keepers. Pretty much everything is owned by somebody and left there for everybody else to see, so if you like the look of something, just leave it there. All right, dad. Number five, Mexican food. This one doesn't just stand for Mexican food, really, but any dodgy food that your tummy isn't used to, especially if you're diving in a dry suit, and I can't stress that enough. Not from prior experience, but if you've ever been desperate for a pee in a wetsuit or a dry suit, then just try to imagine what the other thing would feel like. Fill your boots. Try to avoid food that you're not used to. Fizzy drinks and anything else that usually annoys your body before a dive, and you know, try and bring some anti-acids beforehand just in case. So what do you avoid whilst diving? And don't say Sean, he's already pretty sensitive and he's just trying to make friends the best way he can. Thanks for watching, guys. Safe diving. I'm only sensitive because you're so mean to me. Your fault. I want my mum. We are an online dive store serving the UK and the world for all your diving equipment needs, so why not visit us at simplyscuba.com or click the box on your screen.