Dealing With Negative Feedback. Comments On Comments #37

All right. Hello. Welcome to Real Magic Review. I'm trying to be moody and funny. Look at that. There's something going on there, isn't there? What's going on at the bottom of this? Hang on. There you go. A little naughty webcam sneaking into the shot there. Welcome to Real Magic Review. My name is Steve Faulkner. Before we carry on and talk about feedback, I'm going to ask you after this to go and have a look at Online Magic... Should I say Real Magic Review then? OnlineMagic.co. Let's press the right button. That's my Online Magic course. Over 500 videos... 600 videos. 93 live sessions now. And tonight we've got Steve Reynolds coming, which is very exciting. Steve coaches me. There's me doing one of the weekly live sessions. Come and hang out with me every week. And there's a coin magic and rope magic just been put on the course. £9.99 a month. It's a coffee a week. It's ridiculous value. And nearly all of it is downloadable, except for the live sessions because of privacy and stuff. So thanks for that. That wasn't very long, was it? That was about 10 seconds. Am I in sync? Tell me if it's all working all right. Can you hear me? Am I in sync? Is everything good? Because I haven't done this for a couple of weeks. Oh, and like and subscribe, I suppose. I say that if you want to do that and share it and talk to people about it. Yeah, I haven't... Two coffees up here. There you go. That's all right. That's good. £9.99 a month. I don't want to go on about this. I'm going to hold off again. £9.99 a month. Yeah, I pay that three quid for a coffee. So one... Yeah, blimey. So yeah, two coffees. You're right, isn't it? So about four quid for a coffee somewhere. Anyway, thanks for letting me know all is good. I see I'm out of sync slightly to myself, so it's freaking me out a bit. I'm not enjoying it. I can't look at... I can't look at myself. Don't like it. It's like hearing your voice when you're on the phone with someone. Even that slight... You know, if you can hear your voice come back at you. Even if it's just slightly and you think, it shouldn't bother me. It shouldn't bother me at all and I have to put a stop to it. I can't bear it. Hey, morning Colin. Hope it's all right in Canada. I want to come out there. Please find an excuse for me to do so and a way of me coming out and seeing you in Canada without spending any money. Be great. Thanks. Let's work that magic, shall we? And I want to go to America as well. Thanks. I want to go to Magic Live next year. I want to do all sorts of stuff. But, you know, ain't got loads of money. Got two kids and things to think about. Oh, blimey. I want to turn my emails off. That's making a pinging noise. So, yes. So, I was talking about stuff probably. I got... Thanks. Dale said he came to this show. I did my show last week. Yeah, that's why I haven't done one for a couple of weeks. So, I hosted a big award ceremony. The same award ceremony that I hosted when I did the Michael Jackson... Michael Jackson gate. Michael Jackson trick. If you haven't watched that, watch my fail. It's funny. I think quite funny. I'm going to write a talk about it as well. Not about that, but about about failure because I think it's a very important thing. Talking about my show, which was Thursday. Thanks for coming, Dale. I nosed up a trick. I got a trick wrong. I was so gutted. I'm going to talk about it properly. But I did a trick and it all worked. And then at the end, it all kind of fell apart a little bit, which I was gutted about. But part of the process. It's all part of the process. And it's going to happen. You know, that's how we learn. And talking about learning feedback is, I think it's a really, really important thing to talk about. So I have talked about this before in kind of my leadership training stuff I do or did. I do less of it now, but I think it's an essential thing to understand. So this is sort of inspired by my own response to constructive criticism. I'm not talking and now I'm not talking about haters and I'm not talking about trolls. Troll. Troll. A stand up comedian said, you say tomato, I say tomato, you say potato and nobody says potato. Some people that might not know the song and not know what I'm talking about. But let's go helping off anyway. So, yes. So I my own response to yes, I'm not about haters or trolls or people that just come on and just want to. And I'm very lucky. Now, I don't get much at all of negativity. I'm not saying because I'm great or anything like that, but it's just it's quite a niche channel, isn't it? So I don't have to deal with much of this. And I know some people do. And I really don't. It must be very, very difficult. My own response to to constructive criticism is is this. And and the reason I'm talking about it is because I think one of the ways of dealing with criticism or feedback, even respectfully, is to understand your own responses. So the first way of receiving it well is to be self aware. Now, a little story. I remember when I started my leadership training, I was trained up by Richard Field, Peter Field, Peter McNabb, wonderful people. And the deal was that the first time I did any training with clients as part of our leadership course, we would go to the pub and they would give me feedback and they would give me what's called the sandwich, which was it was we all know we were doing it to two positive points, positive point, something that needs work in the middle and another positive point. And I knew that was happening. So I was expecting it. And then the minute they gave me the negative or whatever, I started kicking back. You know, I started sort of making excuses. Well, that's because I'm tired. That's because I didn't know this. That's because I didn't know that. And and they sort of said we all have a chance. You know, you do that quite a lot, Steve. You do when we give you that feedback, you you kick back on it. And and from that point onwards, I've been very, very aware of that. When anybody says anything that might be really respectful and helpful, that is a bit of negative feedback. And I put it in them because it's not a negative thing. We've got to look at it differently, which I will chat about in a minute. And with magic, it's so important. But when people give me my tendency is to kick back, to respond with excuses, to to feel internally angry, I never get angry. Well, maybe I do a little bit, but only slightly verbally. But to start making excuses, to start giving reasons why they're wrong, to to start kind of look, justifying that the reason I may not have done something too well, rather than just taking the offense very much. Now, I know that is my response. And that's why I don't do it as much anymore. What I tend to do now is listen, go off, feel all upset and then let it sink in and then usually act on it, even though I'm not happy about it. That's usually the case, but not always. So the first step, step one, the very first step to receiving feedback in positive and negative way is to really want it right. There is nothing more helpful than constructive criticism and finding people that will be brutally honest with you. And one of and I still see it now, I'm not going to mention any names and I never will, but I've seen respected magicians do stuff and get lauded for it and get everybody saying how wonderful it is. And I'm looking at it going. Now, I know that that wasn't wonderful. I know that that was flashing all over the place. It was all over the place. But there's something happening here. And I don't know whether it's a kind of emphatically closed thing. It doesn't happen very often. But what I'm saying is I've seen it. And it's almost like we're looking at different things. Now, of course, it's very subjective. Saying that someone is good or not, it can be whether you enjoy them or not, which is, you know, that's just like food. Some people like it, some people don't. But there are objective things we can look at. Like, was it convincing? Were people flashing? Can you see that the trick is exposed? So I think that it's to find people that will tell us, you know, I remember seeing the video of me doing a coin vanish after I've been doing this vanish for about seven years. I was flashing all over the place. I never watched it on video. I was so convinced it was it was good. And that was the most brutal feedback. I can get moody about that because it was just video. But it's that same sort of thing. We have to we have to seek it out and we have to look for it. And we have to find people that and say to them, look, I don't want you just to say it was good. OK, there are people that will do that. What I want you to do is pick this apart. Now, I'll just read a bit of feedback that I got. And this is not in no way a criticism. I can even say in no way a criticism of this feedback at all. I'm reading out because because I think it's it's an interesting thing. So I presume he doesn't mind because he put it on the channel. Carlos Hampton, one minute. So this was the big picture review that I did. And, you know, I talk as I did here. I talk about the course and I have a little chat, a little ramble about something related before I review the thing. One minute and forty five seconds before you start talking about it, please value your viewers time as much as we do value yours. So my first response to that was I was quite upset, really not in a kind of poor me way, but I was quite I felt internally quite angry. I felt like I wanted to say a lot of things to this person. I felt like I wanted to justify it. And I very nearly did. In fact, I started writing the reply and stopped myself and thought, no, you've got to practice what you preach here. So all I replied is, is that a long time now has been a bit snarky because one minute and forty five seconds is one minute and forty five seconds. But it wasn't as snarky as I was going to get. And then the response to that is it's a minute and forty five way too long without any meat. I understand that you need to promote your businesses, but in my opinion, need to keep the want to talk about Magic Live, do a different video. If you're talking about this particular piece for me is sufficient. If you tell me it was sold out piece at Magic Live and then move on to it. Time is money for everyone these days. Thanks for not only sharing the videos, but for taking feedback on them. Good luck. And which is I think is a really lovely thing. So first, in my defense, I think, well, OK, let's let's look at how to it's an absolutely valid point, completely valid. I understand and I'm very, very conscious of the fact that sometimes I waffle a bit too much or it's subjective because people think they like it. But I talk about the course and sometimes, you know, it's because I'm thinking, look, if this course doesn't sell, I'm being totally transparent with you. If I don't do well enough on the course, this channel can't exist. I'm not being like it's because obviously you don't get paid for this. And the only benefit I get from this, other than the joy of doing it, which I would do it for nothing and I always will do it. But I'm trying to make a living doing the course, which and the two things are the things I want to do now. I want to perform, but not as much. So to do this and to do the course is I want to be my main job. So this kind of feeds that. And this is my platform for being able to tell people about it. But I'm very aware that that can be way too long for some people and people want to get on with it. So in my initial response, well, one minute, 45 seconds is nothing. But then I thought, well, actually, in some contexts, isn't it? Like when I moved to London, I remember I used to get the tube. And when I used to say next train in one and a half minutes, I used to go, oh, two minutes or three minutes, especially five minutes. I used to be like, why are people complaining? It's, you know, I come from the country bus every hour. And then after I've been living in London for a while, if I saw it and it said two minutes, I'd be like, oh, I've got to wait two minutes. So I kind of, it's easy to kick back like I was going to. But actually, if I really think about that, I can kind of understand, especially if it's only a six or seven minute video or eight minute video, one and a half minutes, two minutes. That's quite a big proportion of the video. So I kind of get it. Then I have to look at it and go, OK, even though I understand it, I've got a choice here. And this is where we get into your choices of receiving feedback. Now, people say, well, I say you've got to receive feedback graciously. That doesn't mean you have to agree to it. Now, you can take it on board and respectfully disagree. But what I wouldn't usually do is do that publicly and straight away. No, I disagree with you because it's actually taking someone a bit of time to give you that feedback. And actually, even if it upsets you, which it will a lot of the time because nobody likes hearing it. It's important to look past your feelings and past your emotions and look at the meat, as he says, of of what that feedback is telling you. And is it useful or not? So when you receive feedback, the free choice, well, there's loads of choices, but the three choices are you accept it. So you take it on board, accept it, make a change, do whatever with it. You expect, accept it and ignore it or you explore it. Now, I think the exploration bit is really important because we can again, it stops us just responding and working on that emotional response because that emotional response will come from our shoulders. It will come from being told off. It will come from someone saying a certain thing in a certain way. That may have been a little bit like someone said something to you when you were a kid is a trigger. So you can trigger a lot of the feedback with people because we're adults. We don't like being told this stuff. It's a very uncomfortable thing. So to explore it, what I would do really go, OK, well, I'll take that on board. I'll ask people or maybe, you know, and I'm in a good position. I can ask the audience and say, look, comment below if you think that's a problem. And it's quite a good situation of being. But a lot of people aren't in that situation. So I would really maybe look how long am I doing? Ask other people if I didn't have that, you know, maybe just email a few people said, how do you feel about this? Be brutally honest with me and see if there was a recurring pattern. To me, it's almost like a film critique. Like if I hear a bad review of a film, I won't take that as gospel. But if I hear a film completely panned by every critic again, I still might enjoy it, but I'll kind of be more likely to believe it and think there's something in that. And it's the same with this, because it could be just a subjective opinion or it could be an objective thing of, no, this percentage is that and that's too much. And I think exploring that and exploring your your own response to it is an important thing. Part of that, I think, is when you get feedback. For me, the rule usually is always to accept it, whether I'm going to ignore it or not, and always explore it a little bit. But importantly, give it time. Don't start exploring it at that point now, because a lot of the time you'll be it'll be confirmation bias. You'll be looking for reasons why they are wrong rather than looking for reasons why they might be right, because you're trying to, and I've done that many, many times, I've kind of looked at things, you don't know how they're wrong. And there's no benefit from really proving someone wrong. You know, it's someone's feedback. It's there. A good way to look at it is feedback not being positive or negative, but being something that goes into the system that can or may not be useful, or may or may not be acted upon. So I think the thanking someone always, unless they're very rude, which this person wasn't rude at all, it was, yes, a little bit, you know, the bit I was a bit like, you know, that presumption of me not respecting someone's time niggled me a little bit, because again, that's an assumption. And that's a that's a kind of subjective thing, because that's an assumption. So I think always look for the deeper issue in feedback, always look for feedback. But I will talk a little bit about giving feedback. Because even if someone has asked you for feedback, it's important to understand the best ways of doing it. And there isn't really one best way of doing it for me. But what I will say is, sometimes I will ask for people ask people how they want their feedback. I'll say, Look, do you want me to be brutally honest and just come out of it? Or do you want me to tell you the good things? I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to create good things to soften it. But would you like me to do or is there anything specific you want feedback on? Now, that's really important, because somebody may be very like, if I, you know, some, some, I recorded a trick today, right? And, and it's always when I record his the first time I've ever done it, it's never going to be a good performance. So I don't really want feedback on the performance. But if there's anything that you go glaringly, I would have been better if that would have happened. Brilliant, you know, but but it's, you don't want to give people feedback on something they're aware of, you know, so first time I've done a show, it could be a bit of polish. Well, you know, I'm not saying I wouldn't say that if it was a friend. But I might say that, as you know, it could, it could use a bit of polishing. But I think the thing is to be as specific as possible. And that actually is what Carlos was here, he was specific about what it was about. He wasn't saying are your reviewers bought your reviews bore me, he was saying, one minute 45 seconds, this is a problem I've got. And that's absolutely valid. The other thing is asking people how they want their feedback may be viable. But if you're not in that position, make sure you've got permission to give someone feedback. And you have permission on this. This is what the comments are for. I always ask for it. So again, Carlos hasn't done anything. I'm always saying feedback anything, put it in the comments. And that's what happened. So that's completely fine. But sometimes you'll get people putting things on line. And it's quite obvious they're not looking for feedback. They're just quite proud of themselves for working on a thing. So before you start commenting with do this, do that, you should do this, that's no good. Just be careful that that person has asked for it, or there is a certain permission for it, you know, would you like some feedback for this? If so, DM me or you don't want to be because it can be quite humiliating for people, they might be really proud of themselves. And then they've got all these people saying that looks rubbish that looks and you know, give people the respect that they've been brave enough, or vulnerable enough to share something online in public. And there, your feedback needs maybe needs to be a little bit more gentle and ask permission for it. Don't just assume that people want your feedback. And look at where your feedback is coming from. If it's something that's blare glaringly obvious, maybe DM them, DM them and say look, you might and I've had this before people say you might not want this. But yeah, it might be helpful if so is it there's a kind of compassion to it. And I will say that there's a lovely couple of quotes. One of them, my friend Richard, who was my mentor in kind of business and leadership and things like that always used to teach and it's what I say now, it's hard on the issue, gentle on the person. And it links to Stephen Covey's, you know, seven habits of highly effective people, courage and consideration is having the courage to say things that might be uncomfortable. But understanding that that person is a human being with feelings, and it doesn't matter how their exterior might come across, you know, they might be professional in the game for years and thick skinned or whatever. But it doesn't mean they won't be hurt if things are said a certain way or triggered or something like that. So I would say be really understand how would you feel if that was said to you. And if you do have to give them feedback, or they've asked for it, just sugarcoat it, but in a genuine way, not in a kind of fake way, because it's obvious when people doing that, that was great. But most of it was terrible, that ain't gonna work. But find the quality and the good in what people are doing, because it's always there, you know. So I think that having that compassion and having that understanding is, is really important. So be honest, be specific, ask for permission, do it in a way that's compassionate. And that that's a lot better. And that's been done here, you know, like I said, a bit at the beginning, but at the end, it was like, thank you very much. And that was that made a big difference to me, the fact that he said, and actually, probably the only reason I'm doing this video, was he said, thanks for not only sharing the videos, but taking the feedback on them. And that, that just that one line was just complete changed the whole thing for me, you know, it's someone that is actually thought about it, and I'm just giving feedback here. I'm just gonna see if there's anything I've missed. No, only that there's a time and a place, I think, for there's a couple of things that I've missed out time and a place for giving feedback, don't just assume it's always the right time, because if someone's feeling, you know, something's just happened, they've had a bad day, you don't want to start, you know, rolling into it then. And also, I would say, if you're receiving the feedback, one of the ways to explore it, like I said, is to, is to paraphrase back to them, sort of feedback on what you think they meant, and just say, can I clarify that that's it. And you might have misunderstood quite often. And I think that's really important to really understand what that feedback is. I think as well, going off topic a bit, I think one of the healthiest things you can do in a relationship, even if it's a close friendship, is to have times when you sit down and say, right, this is our time to be really honest about how things are going there. And, and you're getting feedback and the deal is, and I used to do this, I still do it. The deal is that when you sit there, and you and you might say, like, actually, I'm struggling a bit with this, you're not allowed, the rule is you're not allowed to kick back, you're not allowed to start making excuses, you've just got to listen, even if you disagree. And then if you want to discuss it later when emotions have gone down a bit, you can, it's such a healthy thing to do. And it's, I think it will save marriages, I really, really do. So I thought I'd share that with you. I hope that was interesting. I think it's really important with magic, especially because we could be, you know, sometimes we cannot see our own performances, we need that from other people. Let's have a look. Right, looking and sounding good. Thanks for everybody. That would be a real trick. What was that for? Let me know what that is. Did anyone notice? What was that? Learning to refrain criticism. This is Artemis, Aiden 42. Learning to refrain criticism internally was an extremely difficult, difficult thing for me to learn. And I'm still learning to do it, both professionally and with my hobby, magic. I think, Artemis, I think that it's always difficult. For me, it never gets easy. It's easier because I understand, and self-awareness is so important, I understand my own responses. And I do tell them to people, my partner, Juliana, I say to her, you know, that was me doing that thing. You know that, right? It's that kickback. So even though I know I'm doing it, but the emotions sometimes are so strong. If I feel strongly about it, I know what they are, and what will happen is they'll manifest, but I'll get on top of them way quicker. I'll just go, I'm feeling this now, I just need to stop talking about this until the emotions have died down. And there's some really good physiology about this. If ever you're feeling stressed in any situation, and you feel that kind of response, walk away. If you can, walk away, give yourself some time. And sometimes it's a matter of minutes, and you see a whole new perspective on it. And it's basically something that actually happens to the brain. Apparently, and there is some arguments about this, but your prefrontal cortex, which is all the stuff that kind of makes us human and makes us reasonable and act logically, kind of goes offline when we're stressed. It gets overwhelmed. So we can't really make rational decisions when we're stressed. So if you are trying to make a decision about something, i.e. responding to a text message, a message, something that makes you feel a certain way, it's so much better to wait, to wait, to wait, to wait, and then give a measured response rather than, you know, responding on that. And we've all done it. We've all written text messages and messages when we're upset. And we can deeply regret it, because sometimes you cannot unsend that thing. So it's a really important thing, I think. Always wait. Absolutely, Tom. Oh, Steve, on topic of feedback, it's good to always listen. Think about it. But we don't always have to do something. Absolutely. Thank people for taking their time. Let them know you think about it. Absolutely. And I think that if you're not going to do anything with it, you don't have to broadcast that as well. And don't get me wrong, I've done that many times. But you know, I'm glad you feel that way. I respect it. I may do something about it. I might not, you know. So with this, it's an interesting one, because I do get people saying I love the fact that it's all rambling, and we don't just talk about the product. And actually, for me, it's very important that I don't just talk about the product, that I get an anecdotal thing. So with the, and this isn't me kind of kicking back and making excuses, I'm kind of analysing it, trying in an objective way, which I have done now. Because I asked myself a question, am I going to do that? Am I going to work on this and go, no, I'm going to cut that thing. And actually, no, I'm not. But I'm going to be more conscious of it. I'm going to be more conscious of going, actually, I don't need to talk for that long about it. So my justification at the time with talking about why I was so frustrated about not getting to Magic Live was actually because I thought a lot of people might be feeling that way. And it's sometimes nice, you know, especially in the UK, if you can't get to these things. And you've seen people on Facebook at Magic Live, you know, I felt genuinely jealous. I kind of made a joke about it. But I was, you know, I was kind of upset I wasn't there. I'd have loved to have been there this year. And it would have been lovely. So there were times when I thought, I felt, you know, genuinely a little bit sad that wasn't there. So to share that in some way, to hear someone say that is sometimes good. And that was kind of my soft justification. My other justification is that I just ramble too much. I'm good, thanks. Beg and bros. Thanks very much. But we don't always have to explain ourselves. Absolutely. And of course, we tend to, right? It's quite a refreshing thing to understand that you don't need to express, explain yourself. But we, a lot of us fall into that, because that's part of that insecurity, that kickback, we have to explain, we have to justify. There's a wonderful book called, oh, it's about confirmation bias. It'll pop into my head. Oh, I'm not gonna look because that's boring, isn't it? Confirmation bias book. It's great. I've read it. And I quote from it a lot. And I go back to it. And it's about kind of how we justify, we respond to certain things. And how we will, you know, also how we'll find, if we look at something, we see what we want to see. There's a lovely quote, again, by Stephen Curry, we see the world not as it is, but how we are. So again, if you're feeling negative or insecure, and you get a bit of negative feedback, it may seem more negative to you. Because you're feeling negative anyway. And when you're positive, you might look and go actually a good point. So it's so again, we've got to understand how we what's that book called how we respond? Mistakes were made but not by me. Yeah, really just a fascinating book and understanding nationally and internationally the profound effects of the way we think and our flawed perception. And sometimes it's just opinion. Actually, I think it depends on the feedback is actually feedback or this person being kind of a bully. No, you suck. Absolutely. And I think that that Brandon that's really important. And that goes back to that thing of being specific. You know, if you're gonna say don't just say yeah, that was boring. Because again, it's completely subjective. But it's also not very helpful. Because what's boring? Yeah, what is it was about? So think a little bit before we I'm not saying you don't, but you know, did you do a giveaway? But I haven't been here for two. I've been here since that last one. Oh, I've got anything. I'll have a look in a minute. Hang on. But I'm not gonna give up. Don't give up. No one's their baby called ugly. Make sure that you know, there's a feedback. Yeah, it's like look at my new baby. I'm so pleased you look the same as every other one. You know, you don't don't be. So I don't think people that say you got to be honest with people really transparent all the time. No, you haven't. You've got to look at the effect of what you're doing. You know, it's sometimes it's not worth it. I love these kind of talks. They go beyond just magic. Still totally applicable. I'm glad you think so. And for me, it's that's kind of what, you know, works for me. I love sort of getting between the magic tricks, which is why I think I'll always sort of ramble about other stuff within the tricks as well. The quest to get better. Absolutely. It's nice if someone takes the time, they don't have to watch or are you putting a gun on people's heads? Always a bit entitled, but I guess this is part of putting yourself online. Absolutely. You're always going to get it. And I think you've got to get used to it. And the first bit of negative feedback I got was when I put my DVD out and it was a very flawed DVD, of course, years ago. But somebody was really nasty. One person actually was really, really nasty. And it was about calling me a spluttering idiot and about my list and about the fact I'm spitting over everybody, which I wasn't, you know, and all that was really personal. And I remember reading it. And really, I mean, the feeling it, it was a real trigger for me. And it took me back to being bullied at school. And I was kind of prickling and sweating. And it was it wasn't, you know, it was really awful. And of course, I've had a very blessed life. You know, I'm a white middle class guy. So I haven't struggled with stuff like that very often, and I'm not very thick skinned. So it really, it really helped me. And I mean, it was years ago, and I researched it. And I found it, you know, it was in some form, it was just some kid, you know, it was somebody, I'm not saying a kid's irrelevant. But it wasn't in my head, it was just very intelligent person making a statement. And of course, you know, when I come down, I just want someone being a troll and wanting to be horrible. And that's you're always going to get that. And I think that it Yeah, it is nice that someone takes the time and we can tell intention, some people give feedback, because they want to feel knowledgeable, they want to kind of steal the knowledge. And you see this on the forums a lot. And you see this why people will say, you know, someone will show me something, it'll be bang, bang, it'll be like this handling of feedback. And a lot of times you can tell it's just because someone wants to hear if they're in a meeting, they will be the person that would just take over and love the sound of their own voice, like me now talking at you. I'm not like, I mean, so, uh, so yeah, it's it's so you can see the intention as well. I think. Did anybody notice the mistake last week? Yeah, they did. So it was at the end of a routine that I'm going to talk about this because I did two john Allen routines. It was like a john Allen, I was gonna do a third. But I just love john Allen, the two things I've reviewed, one of them being the one down to one. And I did the pain game. I'm going to do a different video on it. But the pain game all went on really chuffed. I've done a different presentation with it, it was a real risk to do it that way. And then at the very end, I kind of exposed it because I just panicked and a thing happened. But it's different. We're going to talk about that next time, I think. But yes, they did. But not as many people as I thought. And somebody that didn't know, he said to me, and again, someone I can trust with feedback. So yeah, they know it's but they said the routine was so much fun. It just didn't matter. So that was that was a good thing. I didn't play it. Serious. And I'm just sent right to Stefan from Brella through. Yeah, I also feel like to have to be especially aware of online platforms. So much is lost when you read something versus hearing it tone attitude. Tell me about it. What's that? What's that saying? I didn't. I didn't say she stole my money. I didn't say he stole my money didn't say she stole my money. Right. So talking like yourselves. I've written something and you're not gonna be able to see it. I'll do because it looks like a five year old putting it because I'm rushing and panicking. But I didn't say he stole my money. If you emphasize each word that you emphasize, it's a completely different meaning. All right. I didn't say he stole my money, meaning it wasn't me. It was someone else. I didn't say you know, didn't or did I didn't say but I could have typed out I could have written it somewhere. I didn't say he stole my money, but it could have been her. I didn't say stole my money, but they could have borrowed it. Or they could have actually asked for it. And I've forgotten interest on my money, but they still someone else's money. This is still my money, but they still someone else. So every single one of those words emphasized differently, which is so rare in emails and texts and online means a completely different thing. So I think it's really fascinating that and tell me about it. If you ever go through this is a word of wisdom. If you ever and I hope you don't ever go through a separation, a divorce, something that's unfriendly for a while and emotions are high. Don't text. Don't do it. Always don't because it's talking about that is just such a thing you read because again, we see the world not as it is, but as we are, when you're feeling completely raw and vulnerable, everything's awful. You're reading things into everything, your insecurity, your self-belief, your esteem, everything can go out the window. And it did for me. And for a while, it was the world was not a pretty place. And actually part of when I got out of magic was seeing the negative and everything and not the positive in this wonderful community. I'm curious to know if it was when you handed the spike back to spectator. Yeah, totally was. I only have to think about it. Didn't notice anything in the moment. Brilliant. It totally was at that point. Bless him. It wasn't their fault. I shouldn't have handed it back. I panicked. But yeah, a huge part of my design work relies on doing work that people don't like. I have to do three or four versions of something knowing that none of them will be right. It's taken a while to be okay with it. Phil Smith, lovely Phil Smith. Absolutely for I mean, you know, think about what we do, especially if we do something in a different original way. You know, I did, I did the pain game in a different way. And so I had nothing to compare it to. And it could have gone either way, it could have just been horrible. And it might have been, but that might not have meant that there wasn't something in it. And I think that even if we do something that is no good, or is virtual, or is a kind of prototype, we to learn to be all right with that is, is really important. And I get so I read a lot about this, I read a lot about, you know, writers, books I'm writing is saying your first draft is just that's what it is. Don't judge that just get it on the paper. The work is after that. So don't judge whether it's good or not by your first draft, get your first draft out and then make it good. And I think that's the same with a lot of stuff. And yes, sometimes that failure may be in front of other magicians, and it may be a convention and you know that the other day, and it's happened before I failed to get out of my straitjacket once in front of my family and it was awful, you know, but at the time it was and I was gutted on Thursday night afterwards, absolutely gutted, especially because the whole routine had gone quite well. That last moment I just panicked and I kind of went, I was really beating myself up about it, but the next day it didn't work. My hair's looking so good, thanks. Yeah, I had a good hair day today. If YouTube with a well-known channel asked to comment, and if it's polite feedback to help him, he has to go, he has a go at you on his next video. I won't say who's, I will be on his next video. I wonder who that is. I don't know who that is. I don't, I'm terrible at watching other people's stuff. I just have no time. I've got a big box of review stuff there. It sounds like a dream. Be careful what you wish for. I ended up buying Down to One. Do it, man. Down to One. I was so nervous. I was so nervous. It was my opener and I'd never done it and I wasn't feeling that confident and I didn't do it that well, you know. I messed up the explanation of it at the beginning, but it was a lot of fun. I'm so looking forward to doing it now. I've done it once, don't know it was. It was great. I've always loved the pain games. Brilliant. I think it's great. David Smith, thank you so much for what you do. Thanks, David. And do look up Down to One, yeah. Check out my review. As a magician, when I watch other magicians, wait, I keep running out of time. We've got Steve Reynolds in 25 minutes on the course. As a magician, when I watch other magicians, I can be critical of how they perform and affect because I know the method, but I realise who am I wanting to perform. Yeah, for magicians, really interesting. I'm going to be totally honest with you. When I see someone doing really well, I've internalised it. I don't say because I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm jealous. I see someone doing something I know I can do. Classic thing is Britain's Got Talent. I'm not about someone like Ryland. That's incredible. That's a nine-year-old kid, right? Hats off. I couldn't have done that at nine. I did a talent show at about that age and did a... Well, I was a bit younger, but I did a Margaret Thatcher impression and a Benny Hill story. No, a Les Dawson story and started crying halfway through and left. And a David Bellamy impression. But anyway, showing my age. So yeah, well done. But people on Britain's Got Talent, if I see someone doing a generic kind of thing, there's part of me inside that goes, I'm going to kill you, you idiot. But then I know what it is and I think, get on them. So we do, as magicians, we can get all of these things to happen, which are totally human. Jealousy, that thing of putting someone down, that whole thing of nobody loves a winner. If someone's successful, everybody starts ripping them apart. Dynamo's a classic. Well, everybody's slagging off Dynamo all the time. He's great. It's like, yes, it might not be hilariously funny all the time, but that's why he's watchable. And it's not really my sort of thing, a lot of the magic, but he's successful and that's kind of what he does. So, you know, it does nothing but good things for magic. So, yeah. And we can't unsee stuff. We're magicians. We're so biased. And even if we try not to be, we are. And it's really good to go, what is this? You know, we've all had that thing when a family member goes, let's go on Britain's Got Talent. He was doing this and he was going, you know, it's just cartoon or something like that. But it is so tempting to say that. Oh, yeah, everybody does that. But, you know, we mustn't. We mustn't kill it. I have a YouTube channel and Insta account, so I want you to check it out so I can send you, should I send you on the chat? I'd like to review from you that will help me so much. Begging brothers. OK, I'm really overwhelmed with your stuff. Best way to email me, Steve at OnlineMagic.co. I am completely overwhelmed with stuff at the moment. I'll keep doing that as if you can see I've got. So it's going to be months before I can get to much more. And of course, I have to prioritize certain things because I have to link it with release dates and stuff. But but, yeah, just my target audience is lay people, not other magicians. I take critical comments from magicians with a grain of salt. Yes, as you should. And there are two different things. I want I'm terrible at performing for magicians. I get really nervous. It isn't how I came into this world. So it always feels odd to me. But it's a different thing. You're kind of demonstrating for magicians, aren't you? Yes, you might want to try and fool them and stuff. But for me, it's not. It's coming out. You're going to see the signs of me with a top change coming and things like that. Different effects in that case. Absolutely optimist. Yeah, yeah. It was my girlfriend who chose at the end of it down to one or two. Oh, was it? Oh, nice. She was great. She was really great fun. And I'm glad we all know this YouTube. Anyway, I'll say the word right. Forty minutes talking about people that bang on. Thank you, though, for so much for your input. It's it's I love it. I mean, I'm not looking at the cameras come miles away from the screen. That's why I look like I'm not talking to you. Thank you. And if I've missed anything, I do apologize. So I hope that's useful. If you think this is, it would be lovely if you were to give it a little review or a mention on one of the forums. Of course, I don't want to go on and go on. I made a brilliant video. Not saying it's brilliant, but I'm not saying that, you know, I'm biased, aren't I? I'm the other way. I think all my stuff weird and terrible. And why would anybody watch it? But what I'm saying is I don't like doing that too much. It's a bit it feels a bit weird. But if you think it would be relevant and helpful to some people, do feel free to share. It'd be lovely verbally to people. And again, if you haven't done it and you'd like the channel, please do subscribe to it and like the video and check out onlinemagic.co if you want to hang out with me every week and watch hundreds of videos. But since 2013, just put a rope magic course on there, as I said, an introduction to rope magic and there's a coin magic one and there's loads of stuff going on. So do check out that. We really love your view. Take care. Have a great one. All free courses are below us. There's a couple of free courses. And thanks so much. Thanks so much for your support. See you later. Bye.