10 Things About Us - Part 2

Hey guys, welcome to Off the Grid. Well, we are back with part 2 of our 10 things you need to know about each one of us. Or rather, you didn't want to know, and now you know. We'll haunt you for the rest of your life. If you watch to the end, Yi will tell you about her list of top 4 hottest men. In my opinion. In her humble opinion. IMO. You will hear about what Dan dug out of his body. Oh! You will hear about what Mia found in her body. Alright guys, so check out the video. I love getting manicures. Seriously, give me your man card right now. This whole project has been very mean. I love getting manicures. The whole theme of Dan's list is I'm actually a girl. If this was your man card. He is your typical white girl. Your man card is dead. I have to read that bro. A lot of rich men and CEOs get their nails done regularly. Are you a rich man or a CEO? Nah. It's good for your fingers. It's healthy for your fingers. Dan here is what we call metrosexual. You know, like Schmidt from The New Girl. He used like body chutney. Body chutney. Alright, my turn. Okay, so I also have a phobia. It's feet phobia. I think feet are disgusting. I don't understand why people have feet. Like, you know, fetishes. Like, ew. Like, you know, feet are gross. I don't like people touching my feet. I think my own feet are gross. I think other people's feet are gross. I don't want anything to do with them. I don't think feet are gross. I just think a lot of, like, my friend's feet are gross. Like, they have really dry feet. Maybe you should take them to pedicure. Why are you looking at people's feet? Why are you looking at them? Especially, they have this thing in the winter time where they crack and it bleeds. Why are you looking at people's cracked feet? That's so nasty. Yeah, you know what? I think the reason I think that feet are gross is because my dad had athlete's foot and it was just gross. My dad too. There's a bunch of people watching this during breakfast that just spit out their cereal. On a good note, I actually own over 100 Chanel nail polishes. Not only because I just find that their stuff is amazing and it's so beautifully packaged, but also their formula is great and also I used to work for them. Is this also Chanel right here? Yes, this is Chanel. Oh my god. What's your favorite? This is Rouge Noir. What's your craziest Chanel color? I'm the only guy here. Dan is joining in on the Chanel conversation. He does. Every time, he's like, oh hey, is that new? Where's it from? I've never asked you that. He says that all the time. I would say what you meant is I noticed your manicure and I said, nice manicure. No, no, no. You'd be like, oh my god, nice jacket. Where is it from? I'm like, well, this actually. Some of you might not know this, but I have won two food eating competitions. I didn't know that, but I would totally believe it. I totally believe that. One is I won a hamburger eating contest. I ate 10 hamburgers in a span of 10 minutes. The next closest one was, the next guy was like 7 hamburgers after 13 minutes. I ate like 10 hamburgers in 10 minutes. That was really hard, actually. No, I believe it. I was in college at the time. I wasn't a competitive eater. I just liked to eat a lot. But you could be, though. What's the other one? When I said girls are running away from me now, after this, there will be spring team away from me now. Girls love men who can eat. Oh, yeah. That's, yeah, Mia. Not like a monster. Mia, there's going to be some ladies that are like. I can cook, too, ladies. I don't know, man. And the second one was, there's a competition in New York, the spiciest curry in the world, that if you ever watch Man vs. Food, he took this challenge. I took it, too. And I finished it. No. Spiciest curry in the world. Were you crying? No, like the guy had to like, when he was cooking it, he had to wear a gas mask. Okay, how did you eat this, then? Just ate it. Like, ate it like a normal dish. It wasn't good. So clearly you do not have a stomach. Yeah, no, clearly you have an alien stomach. You have a camel stomach. I have a stomach of steel. You have a stomach of a whale. So, like, my dream job is whatever Adam Richman is doing, Man vs. Food, I want his job. No, I have to say, guys, Mike can be on that show, Man vs. Food. I want to be on that show. Because I've seen you. He's entertaining. No, I've seen you. I've seen Mike eat two pounds of steak plus all the sides in one sitting. And he was fine. Somebody explain it to Adam Richman for me. Yeah. Like, try to get me on that show. I think Mike could crush some of these guys. I'll do it. Meanwhile, like, I can barely finish a six-ounce steak. It's sad. It's true. It's sad. Ben, he's going to check for you. Stop, Dan. You're making it worse. Ben, he's going to check. He's like, does this make me look fat? I mean. Oh, my turn? Yeah. You also like a yoga mask, don't you? Just kidding. That was a secret. Side note, I have had a mask put on me before. It wasn't bad. Multiple times, apparently. Yes, multiple times. All right. I'm one quarter Caucasian. That's fake. She called you on that one. She's like, be careful. So that's what my grandmother tells me. So apparently my dad's half white. Your dad does not look half white. He doesn't look, but when your grandma tells you that your grandfather is white. My grandmother also told me I would turn into a bat if I ate too much salt. But why would she lie to me? Did your grandmother also tell you that you were going to grow up to be a woman? Oh, pound it. Sorry that I had to do that. Yeah, I like comics, but that's not interesting. So I'm going to say that. No, but that is interesting. You're like Olivia Munn. You're a comic girl. Add on to the fact by saying that I could fold any quilt into a shape of a tofu. What? Okay. I learned in a military camp. What is the shape of a tofu? A square. A square, like a perfect square. Okay, you could fold a quilt into a square. Yeah. What would you do? What's that got to do with comics? What's that got to do? Nothing. It's just the comic fact wasn't that interesting, so I just decided to put one in. But you also like comics. Yes, I do. See, that's interesting. A lot of guys like a girl that likes comics, sports. All of our viewers that like comics just fell in love with you right now. Yeah, exactly. Seriously. All the guys that go to Comic-Con, they just love you right now. Yeah, because he actually goes to Comic-Con. We went to Comic-Con together. He smuggled me in. Mike, I have to thank you for fulfilling my life's dream of attending multiple Comic-Cons. Yeah, I go to Comic-Con. You should go to Comic-Cons a lot. Within a short amount of time. I'm probably not that interested, but I'm actually really attracted to guys with really nice voices. I can believe that. Yeah, but what's a nice voice? Yeah, what do you do? Mr. Rogers? Yeah. Give us an example. Like a deep... So like the guys that does the movie trailer? Yes. Like, in a world. Yeah, not Batman, but like... Who's your favorite voice actor? Or like actor that has a nice voice? She probably likes that Darth Vader. Oh, James Earl Jones. How about him? No, actually like Benedict Cumberbatch. Oh, his voice is... Benedict Cumberbatch's voice is seriously... Dude. It's got so much depth. And he has an accent too. You know Alan Rickman? They have the same kind of tone. He does an amazing... Alan Rickman, the Robin Hood. So for my... A lot of you don't know this. You guys probably don't know this either. But living in New York City, when you go vote, they have these electronic voting machines that will, you know, give you instructions in different languages. For the last five years, the Chinese language instructions for the machine was mine. No! No way, bro! If you went to vote and you don't speak English and you listen to Chinese, that's my voice you're listening to. You're... Shut up! You're a million... Shut up, bro. You're a new celebrity. Shut up, bro. That was our voice. So everybody in Flushing knows you right now. Hold on a second. Everybody in Chinatown... Did you just say this because I said I sound like a guy with a good voice? Read my face. No, but I'm serious. How did you get that job? I got that job when I first came to New York. So I narrated for the Board of Voting or something like that. Give us a demonstration. Obama! Oh my god. No, there's no way it sounds like that. I did it every year for five years. What was the other one? Mitt Romney. What was... Mitt Romney. There's no way that's how you did it. Say something in Chinese. Mike has a good Chinese accent. No, it's not just... I don't have any accent on my Chinese accent. No, same thing. You have a proper northern... You have proper Chinese. You have improper Chinese. That's not because he's good. He's not even speaking Chinese. He's speaking half Chinese. I think you're speaking English. What do you mean I'm not over? What was that? No, it's... I'm not over you either. I... I'm not over you. I'm still not over you. Please listen to me. I have been in a major motion picture. I've seen you. Yep. Where? What? The movie... Have you ever watched the movie 21? Yes. He was the Asian gambler guy. No, I wasn't that guy. I was an extra when I went to school in Boston. You can watch it and see me. I'm in this white jacket. You have long hair. Long hair doesn't look like me. You look pissed for some reason. I look pissed, yeah. Because I was playing a character. Asian gang member. What Asian gang member? You were a guy who crossed the street. Yes. I had a character, okay? You ever seen Friends? Joey, he takes his acting very seriously. So, as they walk down the street, the camera is right on them, and they part, and you see me on camera, on screen, a huge... for like 30 seconds. Yeah, I saw you. I cannot believe it. I'm sitting between two celebrities. In a movie with Kevin Spacey, the voice of New York... Mike, that should go on your resume. Voice of New York City voting. I went to boarding school, which included military camp for like a number of weeks at certain durations of time, so I'm very well disciplined. That's why I can fold a quilt into a square. I can also get ready in 20 minutes if needed. Five minutes. If there was a fire, I can evacuate as quickly as anyone can without makeup. Have you ever gotten ready? Let's just say... I am not in military camp anymore. I do not need to get ready within 20 minutes, so I'm going to take my hour and a half. I actually was a part of a hip-hop dance group, and we have a couple of videos on YouTube, so if you type in B-Droppers with a Z... Oh, I'm checking that out. Wait, wait, wait. You're a dancer? We used to perform at basically... I'm watching that later. ...student association organized concerts, and dance parties, and even charity events. My whole life goal was to prepare to be a FBI agent. That's crazy. That was my whole entire life goal. What? I went to college for it. Afterwards, I... Wait, wait, wait. You went to college to be an FBI agent? Is there a major? No, no, no. There is a major that you want to major in. No way. I majored in accounting, because they wanted accounting majors, and I spoke fluent Chinese, so I fit two of their criteria already. I was going to apply to be in the bureau, but by the age I was 23, and then I got involved with this whole thing that we are part of. That is insane. Then all my life plan changed. Oh, my God. Wow. As an FBI agent, that would have been pretty hot. Yeah. Oh, my God. Which is why I did it, just for girls. Wow. Oh, my God. Those goals will actually slow down for money away from you now. I guess on the same level of military and FBI, I signed up to be in the Marines when I was 18. Nice. After college. Literally signed up. So I signed up, and I asked them. I was like, they came to my house and everything. I signed up. They were like, just in case, how long do I have until I can't go back? What's the point of no return? They were like, well, when you get sworn in, that's the point of no return. So I got my sworn in date. I canceled it. They weren't happy, but then I'm glad I made that choice, because 9-11 happened that fall. So you're saying that you don't want to defend our country? No, I was saying that I would have been in Afghanistan in October, and that would have been crazy. No, but given that Dan likes manicures, I don't know how he would have taken military training. Honestly, boot camp was pretty tough. Oh, my God. Guys, I broke a nail. Yo, there's no sex in the city in Afghanistan. Where's my mask? Oh, my God. Wait till I drive first. I hate talking to people on the phone. What does that mean? Is that interesting? I just don't like talking to people on the phone. You're like a millennial, Dan. You just text everyone. I don't like texting that much. You like face-to-face interaction. I do like face-to-face interaction. That's good. In high school, I once used dove soap, and I had massive allergic reaction where my whole face was covered with these bumps. Oh, no. It was so disgusting. It was probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. Anyway, for me, the first girl I confessed my love to, I was 12, and I wrote her the most cheesy, nasty poem. Like what? Roses and red violets? No, it was so cheesy. It was the most disgusting. I can't even... You have to say it. I can't even think. It's just so horrible. You have to do it. No, I can't do it. It's just the worst cheese ever. Can we actually post... It's a mountain of... It's like a cheese tsunami. I gave it to her, and it didn't go so well. But I choose to believe that, you know, she secretly loved it. She probably didn't, but... So sad. I got a bean stuck in my ear when I was nine on purpose, and it was really embarrassing. It was in science class, and I was like, oh, a bean. And I went like this. I went like this. I go like this. I went... I was trying to listen to it, and then I put it in too far, and I couldn't dig it out, so I pushed it in all the way. Because you thought it was going to come out the other side? No, I just... I was trying to, like, get it out, and I got so freaked out. So, of course, when that happened, like, this, this, like, it sounded like I couldn't hear, and I didn't tell anyone. So then, like, three months later, I started getting an ear infection. The doctors put, like, this thing, and they went in there, and it was like... And I could hear it, like, touching my ear, like, touching my bean. It was like... And then they finally went... It hurt so bad, and then finally they went... And they were like, we got it, son. And I was like, yes! So I shot a gun before. Yeah. I shot a few guns before. Lots of guns. Yeah, you did. Do you remember what they were? I don't remember. And I hate loud noises. So, like, it was the worst activity ever. Did you not like it? Like, legit guns. I mean, it was pretty fun in the end, but I wouldn't do it again because it just hurts my ears. We took her to... On her birthday, we took her to gun shooting, and she got out of the car, and she was, like, literally standing there looking at us, like, I cannot believe you guys took me to this place. Why did you bring me here? Mia was there, too. I wanted to go to a cupcake-making festival. Yeah. But, dude, but then the girls, like, they were loving it. They were good. You guys were actually really good shots. No, I was saying you guys are good. Um, I've decided to tell you that I actually, um, fainted, like, passed out, um, when I was, like, this is in grade 8 of high school, and then I found out from the doctors I actually have a stomach ulcer. Still? No, this is when I was in grade 8. So I was in a hospital for, like, a week. And basically all I did was they shoved a camera down my esophagus. Oh, that's terrible. And I had to check for the hole. Oh. And apparently Asians have it. It's like a bacteria that we have in our stomach. Oh, my God. That causes stomach ulcers, but it's whether this bacteria is active or dormant. For my last one, I actually started a street gang when I was 12. What? Mike's ones were the best. I started a street gang called the Ninjas. This was back in, like, all these George Floyd movies were really big, like, all these Chuck Norris. And we had, like, a hierarchy, and I was the shogun. Oh, my God. All right, keep in mind, this is like, you know, this is like Four Dodge, Iowa. This isn't like your street gang in New York City. The only thing we did that was rebellious was we would tell our parents we were staying at each other's houses. Then we'd just take our bikes and just ride our bikes around town all night. Wow. Okay, so basically in Iowa, you were the only Chinese ninja in a bunch of white ninjas. Yeah, all the ninjas besides me were white. I was the only Chinese. I was the only Asian ninja. Mike, did you make him call you a name like Shogun Mike? No, we had a chart, like Shogun Mike. Oh, my God. I feel a little better about my man card now. Yeah. No, you shouldn't. All right, let me tell you guys about my hot guy list, okay? So who's on my... This is my hot guy list. This is totally random, by the way. This came from friends where, like, if you're in a relationship and you see any of these people, you are allowed to have one pass at them. You know what I'm saying? It's like, yeah. You have to laminate it. And you really need to laminate it. You have to think carefully about it because once it's on the list, you're done. You only have four. I didn't find my... I forgot about my fifth one. But number one, Bruce Willis in Die Hard. Yeah! That was awesome. Yes! Die Hard 2. Okay, next. Robert Downey Jr. as anything because he's like... Sorry, like... Even in Ally McBeal? Yes! You watched that too? I watched many episodes of Ally McBeal. Number three, Daniel Craig as Bond. So... Did you see his body in there? It was, like, ridiculous. Oh, my gosh. It was... I knew it was gonna come in! I was like, Dan, if she asks you, don't comment. The guy's got, like... The guy's got, like, 3% body fat. I mean, you gotta be, like... And also, he has that dark, messed up thing going on with him, you know, which is totally attractive to me. You know, like... You know, that is my type. He also has a bit of white hair that's also attractive. Number four, Jeremy Renner in Ghost Protocol. You mentioned a fifth one before, but... I forgot. Well, we'll see. Maybe Jude Law. Pretty boy. So... We'll see. All right, guys. Thanks again for watching. Hope you don't get any beans stuck in your ear. You... Don't go starting street gangs. And... Don't get manicures if you're a dude. No. Go vote. And listen to Mike's, like... Just click on the Chinese option. Even if you don't speak it, you'll hear Mike's... Listen to me talk to you about Obama. Yeah. Make sure you subscribe below. Make sure you like us on Facebook. And we'll see you again next time. Thanks for watching, guys. Bye!