Aesop & Son (un-restored) "The Hares and the Frog"

What are you going to read me today, Big Daddy? A Little Lesson in Bravery, Junior. I don't need a Lesson in Bravery, Pop. You want to know why? Uh, why? Well, because I sit here and listen to these fables of yours. And if that isn't bravery... No, no, no, Junior, you know, you're confusing bravery with stupidity. I was only kidding, Pop. Actually, you know, I rather enjoy your painting with words than simple chronicles. Or should I say the necrology... Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my, the things they teach kids in these progressive schools. Well, anyway, my boy, once upon a time... Once upon a time, oh, come on, Pop. There lived a family of rabbits. We're not really rabbits, we're hares. Because on account of the name of this fable is the hares and the... Hey, why did you do that? Because you would have given away the whole point to this story. Well, now, this particular family of rabbits was scared of practically everything. Boo! Meow! Oh, they were even scared of themselves. I can't accept living with these scared rabbits. I'm going out into the world and become brave. But how? I'll tell you how. Just stay with me, boy. I'll tell you. You got to build yourself a rep. You know, like on TV, you got to be top critter. Top critter? Me, a rabbit? Top critter? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, top critter. You rabbits are scared of your own shadows. You couldn't be top anything. Well, that's a start. The winner! You know what this means, naturally. Nope. You are now top critter. Yep. And that means every punk kid out to make a reputation will be looking for you to have a showdown. Yep. That is really, I mean, really, I'm not basically mean, you know. Every lowdown, nasty, downright loathsome critter will be gunning for you. Actually, I'm rather sweet, you know. That's it, I'm lovable. What you need is a gimmick. A gimmick? Where do I find this mealy-mouthed, lowdown animal claiming to be top critter? Nobody around here answering that description. Just Mr. Frog and little old rabbit-hearted me. You better take off there, skedaddle, while old top critter here is in such a felicitous mood. So you're top critter, eh? Well, no. Yes, I'm a critter all right, whether top or not. Well, it's all so relative, isn't it? And I mean, right about now, I feel like the lowest. A rabbit is top critter. That's a good one. Yes, that is a funny one, isn't it? He's a better critter than you are, Bear. And you want to know why? Because I'll tell you. Because he's got a gimmick. Rabbit, give him the ears bit. The ears bit? I know you rabbits can wiggle your ears clockwise and counterclockwise. We'll wiggle them and look mean. I give up. You're top critter all right. Anyone with a gimmick like that must be top critter. Now, what was all that about? Because critters are always afraid of gimmicks. All western top guns on TV have got to have a gimmick. Bat Masterson has his cane. The Rifleman has his rifle. And you've got your ears. You mean my gimmick is ears? All you've got to do is wiggle them and the critters will back down. You are sitting in my chair, partner. Nobody sits in that chair but me, partner. That's my chair. Well, find another chair. Don't wiggle them, top critter. I'm leaving. So, Rabbit was no longer the frightened, cringing critter he once was. As long as he could wiggle his ears, he enjoyed his role of top critter. That is, until... Top critter, there's a critter sitting in your favorite chair. Well, lead me to him, Frog. I'll ear him down. Just lead me to him. Top critter, sir. I'll mow him down is what I'll do. There's something you should know. Now, where's the critter that's sitting in my chair, partner? Oops! That's what I was trying to tell you. He's got a gimmick. And so, Mr. Rabbit was no longer top critter, because at last he had come up against a critter who had a stronger gimmick than he had. He returned to the Rabbit family, although he was never quite as frightened as he had been. Which is the moral of this story? Well, Junior, do you know what it is? Sure. Critters may come and critters may go, but gimmicks go on forever. Oh, my. I couldn't have put it better myself, Junior.