Aesop & Son (un-restored) "The Coyote and the Jackrabbits"

I love to play horseshoes. I bet I'll get a ringer the first time. Whoops. Well, I'll get it this time. What are you trying to do, son? I'm trying to play horseshoes, Dad. Here, let me have those. Wow! How'd you ever learn to do that? Practice, Junior, practice. I smell a moral coming up. Correct. Practice makes perfect, which brings to mind a fable entitled The Coyote and the Jackrabbits. Most rabbits are so poor that they're forced to live in a hole in the ground. Wallace? You called, sir? Yes. Did you take that truckload of money into the bank? I did, sir. Good. Now, bring a bottle of my finest carrot juice, vintage 69. I'm afraid there's no time for that, sir. You're due at the track. In case you're wondering, Hasty J. Rabbit made his fortune at the races, not by betting, by running. Hurrah! Woo! Seven days a week, Hasty outran the dogs, but years of this killing pace began to take its toll. I've had it. I can't run another step. Without crossing the finish line, he was finished. Hasty, your racing days are over unless you go away for a nice long rest. It's either that or an operation. Come now, Doctor. Let's not be splitting hairs. So, off they went, deciding that the peaceful quiet of the desert would be just the thing. Wallace, my carrot juice. Sorry, sir. They don't grow carrots in the desert. But they did grow coyotes, big mean ones. I'm your next door neighbor. Hasty considered this to be a rather strange way of greeting one's neighbor, and he became more convinced of this when during his bath... Don't forget to wash behind the ears, neighbor. And even that night when he went to bed... Night, neighbor! This went on for three weeks until... The desert isn't agreeing with me, Wallace. It's that ruffian coyote, sir. He's making a nervous wreck of you. We might as well pack our things and go back east. Oh, let's not be hasty, Hasty. Suppose you engaged the coyote in a legitimate fight and thrashed him soundly. I'll wager he'd bother you no more. This sounded logical, so Hasty instructed his faithful servant to deliver the challenge. It's done, sir. He agrees to meet you in the ring two weeks from today. Is that all he said? No, he told me to give you something. Then give it to me. Very well, sir. Early the next morning, training got underway. I'm afraid this is all a waste of time. I'll never be able to beat that coyote. You will with practice, sir. Just leave it to me. Now, this is called road work. When I fire this pistol, you take a brisk five-mile jaunt. Ready? Get set. Sorry about that, sir. This time, I'll use a water pistol to start you off. Oh, good idea. On your mark, get set. Hard water. All right, so road work is important. But be careful this time. Oh, no need to worry, sir. This time, I'll use my finger instead of a gun. Ready? No, no, but go ahead anyway. On your mark, get set. By this time, Hasty had progressed far enough to take on a sparring partner. All right, sir. Now get in there and... Don't point your finger. Sorry, sir. I merely wish to instruct you to pretend that your sparring partner is the coyote. Oh, good idea. Hiya, neighbor! What do you mean, pretend? That was the coyote. My apologies, sir. He was the only partner I could get. Look, every time we try this road work bit, I get hurt. This time, you do the running and I'll fire the gun. Oh, you can't do that, sir. The gun isn't loaded. Really? You're right. It isn't loaded. Now, their training program completed, the fateful day of the big fight arrived. I think I'm over-trained, Wallace. I can't even lift my hand. You won't have to, sir. I'll take care of everything. At the sound of the bell, the faithful servant grabbed a section of a nearby cactus, swung... and launched his master into the fray with such force that... So you see, my boy, it's quite obvious that practice makes perfect. It seems more obvious to me, Pop, that in this case, cactus makes perfect. By golly, Junior, I do believe you got the point.