Animation Workshop Feedback - @uncmon. #2 (2023)

All right, we've got a shot here. Let's check this out. Oh, took it hard. It's a cool robot. All right. First thought is, what are those robots? Those are cool. I love the heads too. Of course, I want to ask you, what is, is this all in Maya or is this Blender? And if it's Maya, what is that rig above it? So watching this, there were a couple of things that I was, I thought was pretty cool. Sometimes timing may be a bit fast, but sometimes also a bit confused. And I think there's a general feeling of the camera being too low. Even here, if you look at, if that's the very crappily drawn half, there you go. Already pretty low, more on the lower side. And then even here, we are low. We are, again, fairly centered, staying pretty centered. Gets a bit better right through there. But then we're still kind of low as if, as if we're low looking up, but then giving us so much room. We're always expecting something to come in. And then especially here, middle, middle, middle, really low. Like I'm waiting for like choppers or jets or something in the background. So if I would, this is going to mess up some of the framing here. But if I would bring this, hold on, I'm trying to grab my frame. There you go. So if we have trying something here, I know this is going to be a bit odd, but, and some stuff will be mis-framed. But if it's like that, and we're a bit more in the upper third, even here, we're low and centered again. But I think that, it's like something like that to me, framing wise, feels just a bit more comfortable than what we have here. That would be the first bigger comment in terms of just compositionally, what's going on. Then shot wise, and bring this up a tiny bit. So we have, it does move to the left fairly quickly. It's okay. It feels also a bit center right heavy with nothing going on here. And it's almost to me like you want to have that character bit three quarter here. Again, I generally, this is like a rough starting point. You can always compose things differently, but having things in thirds helps in terms of the composition and the balance. So to me, if that guy is more three quarter running towards him, could have a nice right left dynamic there, and also kind of free up the silhouette a little bit. It's already a bit crowded. And then we go straight into an overlap where we kind of miss things. And then watch out. The shot starts with a bunch of stuff. And it's a big, I'd say confusing. I know what's going on. But if you want to be super clear, I'll be careful because we have, imagine this is a different shot, right? We're ending and we're cutting into a new shot, like by now I'm like, oh, okay, I get what's going on. And then I'm going to be confused about this more about that later. But it starts with, I have to register right away. This is a guy running, or is this a robot? Okay, it's a robot. Cool. Okay. But then it's so from behind and not three quarter that we're missing some of the silhouette aspects where this gets a bit muddy, a bit muddy there. And then, whoa, now we're overlapping. What is going on? At the same time, while I'm trying to register this, I'm seeing a turtle that jumps back. Okay, wait, why is the turtle jumping back? And then I'm seeing this here that comes from different angles, meaning that this comes from up here, this comes from a bit higher, this comes from the middle, like what is shooting here? I'm fairly confused. And then as it continues, we never really get a resolution as to what was that. So you start off with one, two, three things right away that you need to understand where it's not super clean and clear. And while this is happening, this took me a while and I needed to step frame through it. When I was watching for the first time, I saw this guy running and suddenly falling down. It's like, what was that? It's like a manhole. Is there something in the street? There was the hole. Did he just fall in? Like, what happened here? And then watching this and framing through this, I'm going, wait, what? What's that? Oh, okay. There's something. Oh, wait. That looks like a weapon. Wait, that's his. And then I go back and only then did I realize what happened. So a couple of tricky things. As he goes back, it's never really clear that he grabs it. He suddenly has it here. That's probably the cleanest frame that you have. But even this seems to be busy. Is this a double thing? And what is going on? I don't know. What? Do you have two? Or is that a multiple? I'm not quite sure what is going on there. This is your chance to be as clean as you can, because the next one we're overlapping with this again. So silhouette wise, we just have this and then you have a bit of a tangent with that building there. And that's the only time we kind of see the weapon. So again, if you go by thirds and imagine we had on this frame, Turtle would be down here. Shell, body, arm, silhouetted, weapon, robot. That would be cleaner. But also if you shoot something this strongly, and again, this is the confusing part, there's so much going on. You already have weapon, weapon. So I would wait with multiples and what's going on. There's some stuff going on still here. And if you have something this strongly from the side, the head wouldn't continue on that next frame. That head will be over there and not back because it's maybe it's a lens, but it's so flattened that I'm not getting that this guy is way in front of this guy to cause a backwards move. To me, this will be sideways, which will also help because if anything is flat to camera and you're rotating forward or backwards, we don't really see a change in the line of action. But if you have this guy going to the side by now, the body could be over, the head will be over, you know, arms up and it's a rotation this way that would be cleaner. So watch out. It's a bit strong in that in that drag there, a bit floppy. After that, the jump itself is cool. Also comes a bit out of nowhere. I think he's kind of leaning back and it suddenly feels like there are strings like a stump person being pulled up versus you doing this and then moving down to compress, squash, anticipate full extension, jump up. So I will have it down and up. The timing of going back landing is cool. I don't mind that and going straight into this. I think given that he's immediately fighting, I'm not sure that he needs to check. I think it could be cool to be here, here, next frame already three quarter this frame almost profile. And then we're definitely profile. He's already looking at this and not down. I mean, there's this thing of we're looking down for too long. I would already have the head up. So you show that he's super aware, Spidey sense almost of what is going on. He knows this guy's done. I'm already looking over to the left and looking up like eye contact towards this. That's cool. I like all of this. And then I registered the weapon more here. Maybe it's because of it helps with the color change. This helps all of that and probably bring that building down or tweak it so we don't have tangents and overlaps there. And I do like that pull down. All that's great. I think from here on could work. It's a bit stroby through there. And I think what happens is that you have that turning. Maybe she stabilized that a bit sooner. Because what happens is that you have an angle this way, angle this way. Now we're initiating a turn this way, but it's kind of staying put, but now it's going the other way. And then it's suddenly gone. So I would just keep this cleaner in terms of like this, like this, like this, and then like that. And then down. Maybe I can reach into this. This guy coming in, watch out that we're not too, too overlapping. Stuff like that is nice and clean. This one had a bit of an odd quiet moment of it's like we're, what is he doing? He's pushing him off up like this, going back. And I feel like there's a lot of momentum in him going to the right. And then here he suddenly hits this wall. It feels like with so much movement backwards and no leg back there to compensate and stabilize and balance. This is an odd frame where we can see that angle this way, momentum this way. How is he suddenly stopping and moving forward? This is a, there's some linear keys in there that keep it a bit sharp. I think if you do something like that and that leg actually goes back so that we are crossed like this, kind of like it is like this, but the other way would be just mechanically just a bit stronger to read. And I think if you're doing this with him and then just kind of rests here, it doesn't help that he's like the exorcist dead here. This could be the moment of him going like, like he's being badger, like, come on, come on. What are you doing here? And him almost yelling enough. And after making space, he just pumps himself up. It's almost like the Mission Impossible, you know, bicep pump, whatever you want to do here. Or it's like, I don't know if you have shapes you can remember. But something where at this moment of, okay, I created space. Let me finish this. And then he goes into that a bit light. It feels a bit light how he grabs him into this. And we're kind of missing what the other arm is doing down here. You suddenly have hands here into that throw. It's almost like you want that hand up here, here, here, into that. Maybe the hand out here. So we really understand and see that flow. Right now it's kind of wee. And then that's it. I mean, I understand what is going on. It's just, it's just a bit more for clarity. And it might help you to have more buildings here in the back, but then put a hardware fog and just have them hazed out. So they're barely visible, but so that we understand what the camera is doing. Once we're here and we're losing this line, any lines like this, here, we don't know what the camera is doing. Is the camera suddenly stopping, reversing, translating? Only now when he comes back, we understand. So it gives a bit of an extra floaty feel. I'm not quite sure. Is that because of the camera? Is that him? That's why it felt so light too. I like the alertness here. That's all cool. He just seems very cross-eyed, worried. And even here where I would really push like determination. It's very, it's very mirrored. It's very symmetrical, but also he's almost worried, sad, kind of bored, kind of bored to fight. So this could be a bit of a stronger, I like this just because there's also a diagonal in there. Not bad. Then we're getting a bit too straight, straight, which is, it's just a bit flat. And I think you can have this a bit more at an angle and that's kind of that. Yeah. Having stuff in the background is going to really help to see what are those camera changes. And depending what, I mean, you could also depend on how violent you want to make this. But if he, you know, if you do the whole thing of enough and this could be the moment of grabbing this, the other hand is here and then he just rips this guy apart, just kind of pulls the torso off. So imagine this is now cut off. Leg is here, cables out here, some sparks. This falls over this way. What else? Rawr! Into the next. That could be kind of cool. But that's kind of that. All right. As always, subjective notes, feel free to take whatever you need. And that's it for me. Thanks. All right. There's an email. You can sign up. You can start whenever you want. You can submit whenever you want. You get 16 submissions. Either way, a like and subscribe would be awesome. All right. Thank you.