The Astros Hate Winning Now - iTalk Overreactions

One of the craziest things ever just happened. The Rockies won. I know you're not going to believe me, but you're just going to have to take my word for it that this isn't CGI or AI, the Rockies actually played well in Arizona and won a baseball game. Just like the Tigers, who won a close and fun game after pretty much what was a snooze fest 1-0 win on opening day, making a comeback this time on a higher scoring affair and winning in extras thanks to Little Caesars Pizza. The Atlanta Braves yet again proved how drunk the sport of baseball is. The fact that they have and continue to play so well against the Phillies in the regular season, play like a bunch of amateurs in the postseason, only to then come back out and clearly show that they're the better team in the regular season. Rinse and repeat. Why not just, you know, do this in the playoffs? But trying to figure out why things happen in baseball the way that they do is like figuring out why there's people who don't like Madea movies. Just never going to make sense, so no point in even trying to bother figuring it out. But what we do have figured out is Michael Harris's rivalry with Phillies fans, even taking things to Twitter to chirp them. Speaking of chirping, the Blue Jays lost again to the Rays, but they also decided to go all out. Instead of just losing, why not also look like complete dramatic morons in the process, shoving Jose Caballero in the face for absolutely no reason? Caballero wasn't looking to fight, why shove him? I guess Cabrera was like, if you're going to be a loser, you might as well take that with pride. Just like the Pride Orioles fans are feeling right now. This team is awesome. But on the flip side, the Angels are also terribly bad. So was this fake report about Aaron Hicks calling Mike Trout lazy in the dugout? That didn't happen, but what did happen was a team meeting called by Ron Washington after the game. I think this is the appropriate time to remind you that we're two games into the season. Two. Dos. And Walsh already feels the need to have a come to Jesus talk with the boys. And I don't think it has anything to do with Easter Sunday. That's really all you need to know about this team. Man, the Astros really won all those years, got all those ALCS appearances, the pennant wins the World Series titles and got so bored that they decided it's time to shake things up in 2024. They had a boardroom meeting, decided to bring in a new manager, bring in Josh Hader and said, let's try out a new form of entertainment for the fans. They said, hear us out. What if instead of winning games and being a good team, they take an early lead into the later innings and make it look like they're going to win. But then plot twist. They don't. They blow the game. Maybe they didn't plan it this way, but it certainly feels like it at this point. Game 1. Astros take an early lead and go up as much as 4-0, 5 unanswered runs given up to lose. Game 2. Astros take an early lead and keep that lead until the 7th inning where they then forget how to play baseball from that point forward to lose. Game 3. Astros take an early lead and keep that lead until the 7th inning where they then decided to either walk hitters or give up homers to lose. Interesting way of doing things this year, but hey, I don't think the rest of their division will mind, especially the other Texas team up north that obliterated the Cubs today and since screw your early 2-0 lead, Dansby Swanson's first homer of 2024? How about Jared Walsh's first homer of 2024? And Adolies Garcia's second homer of 2024? And Josh Young's first homer of 2024? And an 11-2 loss right up your ass. Speaking of ass, the Red Sox bats had no idea how to make contact with the baseball until they did and got a couple of clutch runs in extra innings. Too bad the pitching that had given up just a single run all night up until that point decided to give up 3 right after that to get walked off on. And too bad the guy who's supposed to be your closer is as good and reliable as a former construction worker now living in a retirement community. Kinda less than ideal. Speaking of retirement communities, the Oakland Coliseum might as well be one at this point. The Guardians are really disappointing me though. They do not look good. Okay you scored 12 runs and won and all that's great, but you also gave up 3 runs to the A's. They should be ashamed. You know who isn't ashamed? The son of the wind. And that's because he's a proud father of his son, the grandson of the wind, who connected for his first big league home run in San Diego. I really like this Giants team, man. They can hit, they got some good defense, especially at 3rd with Chapman. They got some arms like Jordan Hicks who is beyond nasty and someone who the Giants are trying out as a starting pitcher and he was filthy. I love it. Just as much as I love when Byron Buxton is healthy, because when he is, he does the kind of stuff he did in Game 2 of the season in Kansas City. Driving in 3 runs on a couple of hits, helping lead the Twins past the Royals in a game where they were behind 1-0 for 7 innings before winning 5-1. The Reds had the lousiest way of getting their first loss of the year, going back and forth with the Nats before eventually taking a 6-4 lead into the 9th, only to then end the 9th losing the game 7-6. We're gonna have a party when the Pirates go to the World Series, like I said before, drinks on me. I mean just another dominant showing from these guys, their rookie pitcher Jared Jones struck out 10 guys in his first ever big league start, raise that goddamn Jolly Roger. Yoshinobu Yamamoto had his first dominant outing in a Dodger uniform that was unfortunately cut down by a rare Los Angeles rain delay, but he was legitimately nasty. But not as nasty as Brandon Crawford in a Cardinals uniform. I hated it when I saw he signed there and seeing him in that uniform just throws me the hell off. I hate it. Crawford is a giant, and if he's not a giant, he's not an active player anymore. Brandon Crawford being on anyone but the Giants should be illegal. But the Cardinals played real well, especially after the rain delay, scoring a ton of runs in the 7th inning to take a nice lead before slowly blowing it, literally giving up a game-tying single to Max Muncy just one strike away from winning the game, Mookie Betts had gone deep before that, already his fourth of the season, dude is just going off, and the Dodgers made things interesting in the 10th, setting up Shohei Otani in the perfect spot to be the hero, only for him to pop out with the bases loaded to end the game and cue the people explaining how Otani popping up in a big moment in the 5th game of the season proves he sucks in the clutch and is a bust, you can bet on that.