He Gambled Away a $100,000 HELOC!

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today oh I'm kind of I'm just kind of like uh my mind is like in chaos right now um I I'm on the verge of wanting to divorce my husband um uh basically try to try to keep it short but for the whole last year and this year he has been um kept me in the dark and our finances like I wasn't allowed to be to have access to his account or any of the accounts um um and he would kind of occasionally like give me money weekly but anyways it um I was like hey it's time to get a new house because we have a a three-year-old that needs his own bedroom so we pulled out money from the he loock and um he was you know very up to pulling that money out why would you pull money out of a HELOC to get a new house why don't you sell your house well we were going to keep this house to uh rented out and charge double because the rental market in my area is about 2,300 and our mortgage is only a th000 well that's before you took out a helck and before you had expenses but let's go ahead okay yeah and so we are going to take the helck put money down on another home and um and uh you know live there um but between December to may I didn't know that he had actually gambled all of hok and I found out too that we have like $20,000 worth of credit card that were all uh cash advances so so he obviously has a gambling problem yes what kind of gambling is he doing he does slot machines mhm okay and when you all talk about this what does he say um he doesn't he well when I found out I was like where did our he up go I was like um uh well first I found out about the $20,000 uh loan from like s different credit cards and I was like okay you know what let's take her heck pay it off with that because the helck is only 9% and all the credit cards are like 23 or 29% and um he's like well the helo's gone and then I was like oh wait okay start over what what happened to our HELOC you mean gone like completely gone and he's like yeah there's only like $1,000 in there and so he told me where it went and um I was kind of in shock and he just and then I said okay you need to go to gamble is anonymous but he refuses and he says um I have no problem I I can do it I'll just give you all the money I'll transfer it to from my account to your account and you handle all the bills um but a big part of me just feels like he conmed me into getting the the helila so that he could have access to cash and he burned through it really quickly so now we have this house that was only $1,000 mortgage now it's $3,200 mortgage and now we have no money to go get a new house or even pay for repairs for this house um and the all the whole time I've been living like what does he make you know 990,000 a year what do you make I don't make anything I I stay at home I did sell a couple of real estate uh I mean a couple homes last year from 18,000 last year but since he didn't give me any money I kind of burned through that and paid off things and you know how do you think we can help you best today um I guess just is that was since that's not his only Addiction in 2018 he had to go to rehab and finally you know stopped drinking but I feel like just with so many addictions that I've had to tolerate like is that grounds for a divorce and selling the house and then you could be free of clear of debt yes it is grounds for that um but um the uh the thing is this until he puts addiction of all kinds in the rearview mirror and unless he puts addiction of all kinds in the rearview mirror you're going to have hell on Earth yeah it has been yeah and it's not going to get any better it's it's getting worse every day and so uh I'm going to work on it myself as the famous lie of every addict okay no one destroys their whole financial situation when they have a three-year-old at home that is logical that's not logical it's Financial suicide only an addict commits Financial suicide and uh 100% of addicts eventually are broke and most of them die from something a associated with the addiction and we've worked with addicts for 30 years we are not addiction specialists but I'm afraid I've watched them a long long time 100% of them are liars 100% of them are manipulators and 100% of them are eventually broke and stay broke so the only answer the only solution to that is to not be an addict anymore and that means get help and put the addiction in the rearview mirror gamblers is anonymous counseling uh strong support systems social systems around you changing the picture changing the look changing everything and the cocaine the heroin the alcohol the gambling the pornography is in the rear viw mirror it's the only chance that the family has and that the addict has and this is not something you fix on your own Bubba that ain't how this works works it's got control of you it owns you and you have to have some help to get these this demon off your back you can't do it by yourself and it's just obviously if you could have you would have cuz you wouldn't have screwed your whole family over no one does that on purpose it's an out ofont control person that does that so Jill your position if you were my daughter or my little sister I'd put my arm around you and say uh he's already got two strikes if he doesn't get in counseling and doesn't start taking some hard strides towards putting this in the rearview mirror and that includes he doesn't touch money ever again for the next four years you touch all the money you handle every bit of it he doesn't see any of it you explain it to him you show him where it went you can be transparent with it where it happens but he hands his paycheck over to you he has no hidden accounts no lies no side credit cards no side girlfriends no bull crap and keep yourself protected too chill yeah if if he won't if he won't turn it over to you and go get in counseling you're going to have nothing but hell on Earth cuz he's just lying again sorry but that's just the hardcore there is no middle ground with folk in these situations man or woman doesn't matter and so in that case you're protecting yourself Jill and and your child yeah because and you got to start talking about what kind of career you're going to have to sustain Life as a single mom because 100% of addicts are eventually broke 100% that's a horrible stat create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life