[FULL] Betrayal Backfire: Affairs Exposed, Wife Flees to Another Man

Been cheating on my wife for six years, but my affair partner's husband found out. Now I found out my wife already knew and is leaving me for another man. So I've been with my wife for 20 years and I've been cheating on her for the past six years. My affair partner got served divorce papers out of nowhere two days ago at work. Her husband knows about me. It's only a matter of time before my wife finds out. I don't know if I have days or hours before the world as I know it is gone. I took some time off work to spend time with my wife and two daughters. My body is in turmoil, but strangely my mind is clear. It reminds me of the days leading up to my dad passing away. Time has slowed down and I'm aware of all the things surrounding me. It's a nice feeling. My day was filled with the observation of details and appreciation. My wife's smell and the clothes she wore, my daughter's laughter, the color of the kitchen tiles, the dog, the yard. I feel blessed to have a healthy and beautiful family. What will my daughters think of me? I look at my wife whom I love with all my heart and I see a woman who stands by me no matter what. We had our fair share of ups and downs like most couples, but I never imagined a life without her. How do I justify a six-year affair? Is that even forgivable? I don't know what the future holds. All I know is that the storm is coming and I'm here basking in the sun until the clouds come rolling in. I plan to confess over the weekend, even if I know the outcome. I pray she does not leave me. This was so not worth it. Yesterday, I reached out to my brother for advice. He left his wife some years ago and married his affair partner. He seemed happy with her. The grass is not greener for him after all and he's planning on leaving her, but is stuck at the moment. His advice is to not tell my wife and to minimize if confronted. He also said I should let my affair partner down gently so she does not go nuclear on my wife and family. I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I'm not confused. I never was. I don't have a problem separating love from intimacy. My heart is loyal to my woman and she's it for me. Many people have said I don't value my affair partner. She's a gorgeous and smart woman who is funny and open to different experiences. She's younger than myself and my wife, fit, seductive and very attractive. But she's not my wife and does not even compare. Six years on and off is a long time to invest as I see it. She's an adult woman who made the decision to cheat on her husband with married man for whatever reasons. Do I care for her? Yes. Six years is a long time. Do I love her? No. Did I say to her I loved her? Yes, of course I did. But I lied, just as I lied to my wife. Did I use her? Yes, I did. Did she use me? Of course she did. We both knew we were playing with fire. The reason I strayed has nothing to do with my wife. We have good intimacy in general but I do have some interests that she's not into at all. My affair partner was into the same interests. That's how we met and that is why the affair was ongoing for six years. What led me to start the affair was my wife being in an accident that took a toll on her body. Intimacy was off the table for over a year. I gave in to temptation and when I discovered my affair partner shared my interests, I was hooked. My wife was not withholding intimacy. We are very intimate. Being intimate with my wife is making love. Intimacy with my affair partner is just physical. My wife meets 90% of all my needs. My affair partner meets 10%. I was prepared for all scenarios but not this one. The doomsday did not come in the shape I was expecting. My affair partner ended up convincing her soon-to-be ex not to spill the beans to my wife in exchange for a smooth divorce. I thought I was in the clear. Yesterday, my affair partner sent me a blurry photo of my wife in the car with another man. She claimed they walked hand-in-hand to his car from the store in a nearby town two hours away. She got a shot of the plates too. After some digging, I now know she is having an affair. I don't know for sure how long but at least six months. He's a single dad our age and is telling her to leave the marriage. She's telling him she loves him. I'm afraid to confront her and at the moment, I feel numb. I've taken a day off work to deal with this. I love her and want to stay married. Should I just let it run its course and monitor it? Should I confront and hope for the best? Should I confess to my affair and hope we can all come clean and make way for a new marriage? I'm so utterly confused. I have rehearsed the things I would say and do as she were to find out about my affairs. I was not prepared for this crap. Logically, yes, we are both getting our itches scratched. What's the big deal? I'm not ruled by logic at this moment. Maybe later. But now, my emotions are overpowering all logic. Never in my life have I experienced this type of emotional and physical distress. I can't even think straight. I never thought I would ever bawl my eyes out and throw up on the carpet. I'm desperate to talk this out, to know why this happened and how invested she really is in this piece of crap. If she's doing this out of revenge, maybe I have a chance. Because if so, she does feel something for me at least. I can't imagine her being emotionless and throwing away over 20 years of marriage. I know this woman like I know myself. Deep down, she's hurt but also so very stubborn and proud. I just want to know that if she did know about my affair, why the hell did she not confront me? I would have chosen her over my affair partner in a nanosecond. And what the hell is she hoping to find with this guy? He's no better than me sleeping with a married woman. I'm trying to respect her wish to have some space but I'm desperate, desperate, desperate to just talk to her. I don't know how I feel about being on the other side. I never had fantasies about my wife with other men. We had a good intimate life, minus my interest she was not aware of. I am thinking, what do I have to lose? There can only be two outcomes. She loves him and she leaves. She loves me and she stays. I'm hoping this is just a fling and nothing serious. My marriage seems to be over. I confronted my wife this past weekend. I sat her down without warning and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. I asked her if she loved him and what her plan was. She was caught off guard and went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. When she came out, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, I know about your affair too. I have known for some time now. I love him and want a divorce. The next few days were a blur. I tried to talk to her, but she shut me down. She's moved into the spare bedroom and is making appointments with law firms. She has also told our two girls. I've signed up for emergency therapy and I'm on meds for dealing with anxiety and lack of sleep. This is surreal. I heard her talk to him last night and cut the internet cord, which was kind of crazy because I need the internet for work. But she just switched her phone. Oh man, so many emotions are running through me. I made love to her last week and today she's a total stranger. How does this happen? How can she not feel any emotion? Over 20 years gone, all the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, memories, and plans for our future gone just like that. No looking back.