【纪录片】美酒秀-Wine Show 普罗旺斯风情

Well, here we are again. Two resting actors in pursuit of a glass of wine. Joining me this year is my good friend, star of stage and screen, Mr James Purefoy. Here's the beginning of our awfully big adventure and I'm thrilled you're along for the ride. I am so delighted. I couldn't have driven and done this on my own. To have been asked. Yes, while our little friend Matthew Rees is in London pursuing his love of gadgets. What is it? Well, a wine trumpet. A wumpit. It's a Welsh thing. Matthew Goode and I are off on a food and wine matching mission in Provence to be judged not only by our own Joe Fattorini but also wine critic in chief, Jancis Robinson. They've both got strong attributes. And wine guru Joe is off on his travels again. In this show, he's taking comedian and wine novice, Gina Yashary. Can I get a glass of wine that tastes something like Sprite? On a tour of California. Let's have it. Before taking on the challenge of his life in downtown LA. No! So if you've ever wanted to know more about wine or just join us on our travels, do stay with us at our sun-drenched French villa of vino because this is The Wine Show. Welcome to The Wine Show. Cezanne d'Eau. We're in France. It's going to be incredibly exciting and we have a new face coming along for the sojourn. This is James Purefoot. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. How's your palate? Yes, I mean, I very much see my role this season as the useful idiot. Yep. Yeah. So it probably makes two of us. Well, you're going to have a great time because there's a certain gentleman. Oh? Coming our way. Joe, please meet James. James, meet Joe. How nice to see you. How are you? Nothing more complicated than he brings us wine and we try it. I bought two wines for you here. I think I can do that. We have a Chardonnay and a Pinot Noir from California. Right. And I didn't go on my own. Who'd you go with? I went with a friend, Gina Yashere. Fantastic. Great comedian. Let's find out what Joe got up to with Gina Yashere in California and if you're a fan of Sideways, the film, you might just recognise the first location. I've been given my fair share of challenges on The Wine Show. For once, though, I've been set a task that couldn't be more up my street. This is the wine challenge I was born for. I am going to try and persuade somebody who is not a wine person that they would like to be a wine person. Wine challenges do not get much better than this. Can I get a glass of wine that tastes something like Sprite? Gina Yashere is an award-winning British comic who lives and works in the USA. Smells like wine. I've arranged to meet her at a place I've been longing to visit, the iconic Hitching Post in Santa Barbara. I reckon I'm going to be Joe's most difficult customer for sure. Like, yeah. Because I know nothing about wine. I'm just like, eh, never liked it, don't care. So, yeah, I'm going to be a hard one to please. Gina. Hey, Joe. Hello. Oh, this is brilliant. I know this is something of a pilgrimage for me coming here. Oh, really? Oh, it is. This is not just a diner. This is the home of Sideways, the film. It's about two people having a road trip out of LA, up into this part of wine country, and they come here, and this is quite a sort of central part of the whole performance. And critically, one of the big things is this thing they love, Pinot Noir. Pinot Noir. I don't know if I've ever had that. You've never had Pinot Noir? I don't know. I might have done. Probably not. I'm not a wine person at all. How? How so? How can you not be? I've never been a drinker. Never really liked the taste of alcohol. I've got a sweet tooth. I like sweet, fizzy things. Soft drinks. Juices. I love a good juice. I've even got a brown paper bag I can just... You do have something here. What's this? Bubbles. Do you like that? Do you like it? It's all right. It's got a weird kind of aftertaste. I'm not so keen on a after. I like the sparkly, and the fizzy, and the cold, and the sweet. I think my palate is very basic. Don't. It's sugar and chocolate. That's my palate. I think already, from what I know, you have an amazing palate. What? And we have to treat it delicately and deftly, because you are a delicate wallflower of a kind of person. You have a very delicate palate. I've never been described as a delicate wallflower, Joe. Right, shall we go? Well, I've got one thing to tell you. You're a wine expert. Yeah. And you're a pretty humorous and funny guy. So what I've done, I've got a surprise for you. I've set you up a comedy gig in Hollywood. No, tell me you haven't. Seriously. A live comedy gig. You're going to do stand-up about wine in Hollywood. No. I'm going to show you the ropes. I'm going to help you. This is going to be great. Come on then. Now that you've delivered that bombshell. Let's do it. It's going to be fun. You're going to look after me, aren't you? I'll give you a massage. Honestly, I was really into this, and now suddenly it's become very much outside my comfort zone. I'm not a funny man by a long stretch. All right, this is going to be great, Joe. I've got a good feeling. Really? Look, it's going to be a successful couple of days. I'm going to be a wine connoisseur, and you're going to be a wine comedian. Basking on the shores of the Pacific, after Napa, Santa Barbara is America's most important wine region, and is home to more than 115 producers. Road trip, road trip, road trip. Wine comedy is going to be my thing, is it? Yeah, you're going to talk about wine, you're going to talk about yourself. It's going to be a hoot. I know a joke about a halibut. There's a man walks into a restaurant and orders some food. He says, I'm having the halibut. The wine waiter comes and he says, would you like some wine with that? And he goes, yes, yes, what would you recommend? And the wine waiter said, ooh, I'd have a mac on with that. I said, why, is it a good match for halibut? He says, no, I've seen you, you're a messy eater. Right, we'll work on that one. Well, I thought it was funny. Anyway, back to my wine challenge, and to a very important part of Gina's anatomy, I need to explore her tongue. And strange as it may sound, the best way to do that is by tasting coffee. This is the Famous Coffee Test, where we can learn a lot about your palate. So your human tongue will have between two and 8,000 taste buds. So some people are four times more sensitive to taste than other people. Now, would you like an espresso like this? Am I supposed to swirl it? No, you don't need to swirl the coffee. It's absolutely fine, just have a try. What does it do for you? Oh God, that's gross. It's bitter, it's sour. Yeah, gross. Try a cappuccino. It's better than that. Latte's even more milk, even less coffee. More milk, less coffee. Less coffee. Still not quite there. Still don't like it. Right, mocha latte. So what do you think to that? Definitely the best of the four. This would be way better though. If you took out the coffee. Exactly. Yes. If it was just chocolate. Brilliant. Now I know exactly what your palate's like. You have lots of taste buds. So it's like somebody's turned the volume right up. So if somebody puts loud music on, it's overwhelming. It's massive. You need a nice quiet flavour to go with the fact that your volume's turned right up because you're very, very sensitive. That's why you have an amazing palate. You have a phenomenal palate. You are very special. I don't know, five, maybe 10% of the population. I'm in the top 5%. You're in the top 5% of tasters. Of the population. So that means that much of the world's wines, we really aren't going to get very far with you at all. I can't believe it. I'm top 5%. I just thought I had a sweet tooth. But according to Joe, I'm a genius of tasters, basically. Well, I don't think you're going to find you're going to be 5% of the top comedians in the world. But if I can get you to the top 70, I think I can do that. This I thought was quite funny. I was the wine writer for the Herald newspaper in Scotland, the West Coast of Scotland. And my job was to try and persuade Glaswegians that they might like to have a drink on a Saturday. That's pretty good. It's getting better. That's not bad. Yes. So as a hypersensitive taster, I have my doubts that a red wine is going to suit Gina. Here is our winery. But a delicate Pinot Noir is worth a try. I don't think it's sweet enough for me. OK. I think I need more fruity. I don't like the dryness. Yeah, I don't like the astringency. Yeah, just as I thought, we need to focus on softer, fruitier wines. So we're off to downtown Santa Barbara to try some popular white varieties, starting with a Sauvignon Blanc. Do you like that? It's quite fruity. There are particular fruits, gooseberries. I don't know what gooseberries smell like. No idea. Right, have a taste. Come on. That's it. It's got that little bit of tartness. Would you like it to be a little bit more... Sugary. Do you have a Pinot Grigio? Pinot Grigio? Because I'm just thinking that this might taste a little bit softer and gentler, which could be your sort of palate thing. So this is a Pinot Grigio 2015. That is definitely nearer. This is definitely nearer. I like that. Better than that one. So I think you like this slightly softer, gentler acidity in the wine and it lets more of the fruity juiciness come through. Now we need to just refine this. Obviously, this is a two-way street. Hello? Hang on, guys. Guys, in the store. Hi. He's going to do some stand-up tomorrow about wine and I want him to test out a couple of the jokes. Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from London via the wine shop, I give you Joe Fattorini. Thank you very much indeed. Thank you. My name is Joe. I'm from England. I present a TV show about wine. You know what? This is not my first job. I did other things before that. I used to work in the United States. I worked for the USPGA Tour. You know the USPGA Tour? My job every week was to go around and persuade middle-class white dudes who've just played a round of golf that they might quite like to have a drink. I can see the gentleman just there. He's writing that down. We'll work on some of those gags. I was locked watching, Kefi. Thank you very much. Excellent. Excellent. This is very hard being a comedian. If the audience has just decided they don't like you, you're screwed. You've got to get that first laugh foot within the first 30 seconds, straight to the punchline. Boom, boom, boom, smash, and you'll be fine. Very brave, Joe. Really? I don't like to shirk a challenge. No, fair enough. Good for you. This is a challenge for me, and I'll tell you why. Chardonnay from America can sometimes just be too much oak. Fez Park, you remember him. You used to wear the hat. Davy Crockett. The Davy Crockett hat. Of course. Now, how do you take your coffee? Well, here we go. I actually, well, it's changed over the years. Rather like my palate. I like it these days. It's a double espresso, no sugar. You see, if you enjoy that bitterness that comes from a double espresso. From being an actor. If you enjoy that bitterness, then the bitterness from oak is something that you will enjoy. Yes. But lots of people don't. Cappuccino drinkers tend to find oak overwhelming. So have a swirl instead. It's a ripe Chardonnay, although... I've never been a fan, so you're really going to have to convince me on this. This maintains this cool zingy freshness at night time. You see, you like that. I quite like it, Joe. Yeah, that's lush. You like the lift. Really good. Yeah, it's all right. Ripe apple. Ah, OK. And you're still going to have to work much harder if you really want me to get over my Chardonnay aversion. But what California, and particularly Santa Barbara and Santa Ynez, became most famous for was Pinot Noir. The famous Pinot Noir they banged on about in sideways. In sideways. And this is it. It's Hitching Post now. It's a wonderful colour though, Joe. I mean, you know, Burgundy... It's a happy colour, isn't it? But getting that colour right is really hard. It's a thin-skinned, delicate grape. Oh, have I been there? And it can be too hot, too cold. It needs to be warm in the day. It needs to be cold at night. Oh, God, that's lovely. Get that cherry. Oh, you do. It's supple. What do you mean by that? Supple? It's maybe easier understanding it's in contrast. Wines can be angular and harsh and austere. Rather like you. Here, there's a soft, pillowy feel. The Germans have a word for it. They call it the Gestalt tasting method. And they think, think of the shape that it makes in your mouth. This is pillowy or cloud-like. Not boxy. That's great wine waffle there. It is. But this is a story only half told. Yes, I know. I can't wait to see what happens in your comedic career. I also have to find a wine that Gina is going to enjoy. Almost impossible. France. A country whose people view a bottle of good wine as more than just a drink. It's a birthright. And it must be said, there are few nations on earth which celebrate the love of food as much as the French. Which is why our dear friend Joe has set us a challenge with the potential to get two wine novices like Matthew and me into 10 pints of trouble. Yes, Joe asked superstar French chef Stéphane Reynaud to create a six-course lunch for which we, yes, you and me, dear pure foie, had to find six perfect wines. And this year there's a new palate in town. Jancis Robinson, the world's most influential wine critic. Yes, Jancis will decide which one of us has brought back the best wine for each course of our amazing French lunch. I think you're going to need a wine that's got a bit of punch. So Stéphane's starting this epic lunch in true French style with an amuse bouche. An amuse what? That's nibbles to you, pure foie, and they feature some classic Provençal flavours. Sardines on toast and crepinettes. Crepinettes, yeah. Sort of pork balls but with a very Provençal twist. So you have the anchovies, you have the black olive, capers and a piece of lemon. Forget about an amuse bouche, it's a bit amusing for them to challenge all those flavours coming together. Looking forward to this. So to search for the perfect wine to match Stéphane's delicious snacks. That looks very substantial, lots of strong flavours in there. Earlier we'd headed out from our house on the western edge of Provence. I've just been sitting here saying nothing because I've got such a big smile on my face. Here's the beginning of our awfully big adventure and I'm thrilled you're along for the ride. I am so delighted to have been asked. I know it's chucking down in England. I know. And we're here in Provence. I'm new to this game, obviously, so I thought I'd better do some homework. Brilliant. They've been making wine in this region for 2,600 years. Take that, Napa Valley. An excellent stat there, Jim. And today, 87% of that wine is rosé. And as long-time rosé lovers, we know what we like but we've no idea where to find it. But luckily, we can always get our good friend Joe on the phone. Joe on the blower. I think the best people to go and see are some friends of mine. They're called Stephen and Jeannie Cronk and they're at a place called Mirabeau in Cotignac. Cotignac in the heart of Provence. Back in the 60s, this charming town was known as Little Saint-Tropez. Oh, James, look. This is very, very pretty. Its rural charms attracted French starlets, politicians and the international jet set. Oh, the sun on your skin. And the smell of moule wafting through the air. Are you already imagining a rosé trickling down your throat? Oh, down to my feet in this weather. Well, this looks rather lovely. It's gorgeous. Stephen. Oh, hello. Hi, I'm James. James, nice to meet you. I'm Matthew. Great to meet you guys. Hi, welcome to Mirabeau. In the summer of 2009, with three young children, Stephen and Jeannie Cronk decided to follow their dreams and move from Teddington, outside London, to Provence. The plan was to find a vineyard of their own, but the best land just wasn't for sale. Having well and truly burned their bridges in the UK, they quickly realised that to survive, they needed another plan. And so we reached out to those people that are sitting on the best land here, because we knew that if we could get hold of their grapes, we could make a great product ourselves. Yes. So that's what we did. And so Mirabeau was born. And now the Cronks work with half a dozen farmers to blend their award-winning range of wines every year. One of the troubles about talking about wine quite too much is that I end up just thinking about drinking wine. And we really need to think about what wine is going to go with this. We need specificity of task. Yes, we do. We need to get back on track and start thinking about that hummus bouche. Yes. And what is going to go with it. And we're really hoping that you might be able to help us. Well, I think we can. We've laid on a really nice Provençal lunch. Oh, how lovely. And we will take some of our wine, and we've invited a winemaker friend who'll bring some of hers. So I hope you'll be able to find what you're looking for. Oh, you rock. My bouche is about to be amused. Excellent. With the prospect of a good lunch, and a glass or three of rose, and only a few miles away, there's one question I'd forgotten to ask. I need you to tell me, how do you make rose? How do we get this pink liquid? Well, effectively, it's often made with red grapes, and it's about contact with the skin. And oftentimes, then you have the red... Whose skin? Oh, the skin of the grape. Sorry, I thought you were talking about my skin. Yes, it's about how long we're going to put you in a barrel for. It's in contact with the skin, and sometimes it's only for a few hours. And that gives it the very lightest of blushes. Yes, a small, small blush. And the darker the rose, the longer the contact to the skin. The longer the contact to the skin, exactly right. This is a tartare of tomatoes and some tapenade. Oh, that looks lovely. Thoughtfully, Jeannie's chosen some dishes which include the same classic Provencal flavours we need to make a decision about what wine will work best. Not to miss out on the party, the junior cronks are very happy to tuck in too. So, Georgie, how old were you when you left London? I was one. All right, well, so you're like a little French kid now. Yeah. Also joining us for lunch is Laurence Bellemont, one of Provence's best winemakers. The rosé she has brought is made just outside Saint-Tropez. But before we get into specifics, I have a confession to make. I love my rosé ice cold. Is that not... I'm a bit like an Australian with beer, really. It feels wrong to me. What would you say? Laurence, what would you say is a good temperature? To my mind, it's a bit of a shame to drink it too cold because the aromas of the wine are a bit disappearing if it's too cold. It's about eight or nine degrees. It's quite cold. But it depends if you drink it in Provence, it's warming up quite quickly, in fact, on the table. So you can bring the wine at nine or ten degrees on the table because within a few minutes it will go up. Okie dokie. Shall we pour some wine? Yes, we should. First up is Mirabeau Pure. 40% Syrah, 60% Grenache. It's out of the three of them, the lightest color. The blush of the barley there, that's it. Very light. It's got a lovely freshness. Yeah, quite long on the palate. Yeah, long on the palate. Lovely citrus flavors there. And I think the acidity is what's really going to help carry it with that amuse-bouche. Yeah, I might have to have another two glasses. It's just delicious. I might be just talking rubbish. I'm getting this area, this land, the fruits that are grown down here. Well, I like that one very much. Should we try? What's the next one? Let's try the next one. Now Laurence is mine. La Ferme Delice. Laurence, I'm very excited. So here it's 60% of Grenache and 40% of Saint-Saëns. Okay. I'm going in now. Go in. It's a very different style, isn't it? Very. It's very strong and round. I think that with such a dish, quite strong, you need something which balances this. Yes. I really like that. I mean, I have to say that sort of, I don't know whether that's going to overpower the hell out of an amuse-bouche. And last into the glass, Mirabeau Classic. The first wine Stephen and Jeannie ever made. You'll notice the color's different. Yes. This wine. That's because this has got more Syrah in the blend. And Syrah is one of the big grapes of the Rhône. And these are big, spicy grapes. You get that? It's more full-on. It's more adult. More spicy. Something important to know is that each grape is vinificated and fermenting separately. And it's after the fermentation that the blend is done. That's interesting. Okay, I didn't know that at all. It's an explanation. It's like a chemistry lesson gone right. It's absolutely chemistry. I was going to say exactly that. For me, it's smoother, slightly more robust, slightly more intense. Really, really, really like that. But then again, I don't know. I just have that on its own. I don't necessarily know. And obviously, I'm making no decisions just yet. Oh dear. Thank you very much. The quality of the wine has all been, was pretty knockout and all very different. But I haven't been able to make a decision yet. And it's something I'm probably going to have to sleep on. And as a result of the end of our first day, I think that's a pretty good endgame, isn't it? Yeah. Discussion. More discussion necessary. More discussion necessary over those three bottles. But you know, all is fair in love and war. Absolutely. So at the end of our first day together choosing wines to match these delicious French snacks, we have based our decision on character. Which means I'm choosing the classic. And being noted for my angelic personality, I'm going with the pure. So with your first trip, are you feeling confident already? I'm feeling a lot more confident than I was. Well, you know, I like wine. I just don't know a great deal about it. So this has been a hugely educative process for me. It's a journey. Which one are you going to start with first, Joe? I'm going to go with you first. Pure. All right. Do you want to know why? Yeah, go on. I think I wanted something subtle to go with the amuse-bouche. And I think it'll just sit in the background. It is the first course. I don't think you want to punch too hard with flavours. I don't know if JR is going to agree with that or not. But I look forward to finding out. And tell us a bit about your choice. Because this is a richer, darker colour, isn't it, James? It is a richer, darker colour. I would have been very happy if I was sitting by a pool, not doing anything else all afternoon. I'd be very happy with that pure, the one that you chose. Yes. Because I knew that we were having these sardines, I felt like we needed something a bit gutsier. Who are you? And had a little bit more of a kick. I felt like the sardines might drown out the pure. God, I'm sold on your wine already. Can I sort of spear you a crepinette? OK. That's the first time anyone's ever said that to me. They're very, very big flavours, especially in this crepinette thing, aren't they? And the sauce with it is quite strong as well. And then you've got lots of texture, crunchy bits with the sardine and the chorizo. Yeah. So I think you're going to need a wine that's got a bit of punch, really, I think. I mean, I love the idea of the lying by the pool with Matthew, wine expert Matthew. We can do that, darling. And his pure wine here is actually a better wine. It's sort of a bit more sophisticated, probably drier. Very nice, refreshing wine. It says Provence. The classic bottling is punchier, bigger. And possibly stands up to the flavours of the food better. So... Which one to choose? I think... I think I'm going to give it to... The new boy. Oh, no! Fair enough. It's the classic. That £50 is yours. So the winner is James's choice of the Mirabeau Classic, which will now go into the wine showcase. Well done, Rob. Congratulations. Well done. I feel like I've avoided the duck. But there is a long way to go. Oh, yes. This is true. Five more holes to fill. Cheers. From our glorious French bolthole, we're heading back to Blighty, where no matter if it's cigars or shotguns, shirts or shoes, possibly a haircut, there's one place in every gentleman and lady's address book. London's St James's. It's home to some of the most exclusive shops in the world. Which makes you wonder what our furry little friend Matthew Rees is doing here. I've had a shave and everything. It's also home to Berry Brothers and Rudd. They've been on this site since the 17th century, where they've welcomed wine lovers, however deep or shallow their pockets may be. But I'm not just here for wine. Well, I am hoping for a glass of something. I'm here to find out about my favourite thing. Have you missed me? I have. Always. Gadgets. Joe Fattorini, what have you got for me today? I'm going to weigh you like a bag of coffee. Because that's what this is for. From the 18th century, when this was a provisions shop. So people would come not just for wine, but for coffees and things as well. And this is where they famously weighed famous people. Famous people like kings, queens. Even today, if you are a person of note, you can come along and you can be weighed. So I can't then? No, of course you can be weighed. Of course you can. Do I just step up? That's it. It's a proper scale. There you go. Now hold on to the sides. Just in case. Absolutely. Now, are you comfortable there? Yes. Is there some sort of trap door or ducking pond or something? There's nothing. What I'm going to do, I'm now going to take weights off here. Well, I think you'll have to take quite a few, Joe. 56 pounds off. Oh, you sound like Asda. Oh, there's movement. There's a bit of movement. There's movement. Go small. Now. Oh, you found me. We found equilibrium there. Well, tell me what I weigh. 256 is 228. Four and a two. 169 pounds. Is that what it is? No. 172. 75 with trainers. This is very important because what would happen is you would be weighed and you'd sort of explain, well, maybe it was because you'd have a very heavy hat. Yes, or an enormous ego. Well, that... You couldn't put Goody on this then. No, no, we'd have to go and immediately put one of these back on. Yes. There you go. Shall I hold it for you, sir? Brace me, Fattorini. Brace me. Well, I feel like I've been sat in the presence of royalty. Onward. I think we need to compare you as one of the great figures of our age. Well, this happens, yes. To the great figures of... History? History. Let's have a look at Lord Byron. I played Lord Byron. Did you? I did, to James Purefoy's Beau Brummel. I don't know whether we should embarrass you and see whether you were heavier or lighter than him. Oh. He starts at 13 stone 12 here. Is this emotion or mood? Yes. And ends at nine stone 11. Oh. That's quite small. Yeah, well, you know, he suffered a lot. Why would they weigh them, not just the weight? Your weight was seen as being a very important marker of your overall health. And what do you do if you want to go and lose a few pounds? Very easy way. Stop eating, but not drinking. We can still enjoy wine, but maybe just slightly less. Do you like this? Yes. Brand new product. What is it? Well. A wine trumpet. A wumpit. It's a Welsh thing. It's called an eto. Oh, you know what that means in Welsh? Well, you tell me. You speak it. I can't say it on camera. I thought it means again. Oh, yes, it does. I hate to say this. It was your pronunciation. Eto, eto, eto, eto. An eto is something very different. No. What I'm going to do, I'm going to pour in a glass for you like this. Lovely. That's your lot for today. Oh, how tragic. Because what I do is I gently press this down here. Oh, and the wine goes away. Like that. Portland glass, glass bottle. And then pop that on. And look, there's no air in there at all. So I can enjoy it eto. Oh, very good. Isn't that clever? Yes. There's a special valve inside here. So tomorrow I'll go and take that out. And you hear Men of Harlech singing. Shut up. That's very clever. We also have some slightly lower tech solutions. I'm going to let you do this. Right, what you do, I want you to put the bulb in the bottle. Start squeezing. It's just like the doctors. Oh, this is perverse. Look at this. It's like something from the blob. There. That's it. You're done. Got the bulb in. Bulb in, air out. Air out. Look at that. Nicely sealed. And it's a lot of fun, let's be honest. It is, yeah. Because then you get the extra good bit. I'd like you to just depress the button, please. Wow. Two very different but very efficient gadgets. Absolutely. This one looks great. This one's a lot of fun. You are quite proud. And multi-use. I'm very proud. You're proud that the Welsh one is the one that's really elegant and beautiful. Yes. As all Welsh people are. Full of surprises. You especially. Yes, as always. So, we were about to see what happened in the second half of this film with your stand-up comedy routine. Terrifying. It's double trouble, though. My stand-up comedy routine, which is weighing heavily on me at this stage, but also finding a wine... Trying to find a wine that she can drink. I know. Tough crowd. Oh, what's this? Tell us all about it. A Truchard Merlot. This is a Napa Valley Merlot from Carneros. This is a wine that's had, I think, a rather rough reputation. And I want to get Merlot back on the pedestal. I think it's a marvellous grape variety. It's brilliant. Makes up an awful lot of claret as well. It does. And this is where, hopefully, my wine expertise comes in. It is a big wine. Hopefully. It is not as big as some Merlots. I think it helps for particularly people in Europe. We like a slightly lighter, fresher style of wine. And this is a lighter, fresher style of Merlot. Do you like it? It's very round, all around my mouth. I love that. That's amazing. There's a little bit of peppery bite there. And a sort of plum and pepper character. Yeah. So this was the sort of thing that I was trying to drink once we'd arrived in Los Angeles to try and calm down. It didn't take the edge off. Look, let's take a look and see if Joe managed to find a wine that Gina actually liked. Tall order, I should imagine. But much more importantly, let's see how he got on as a stand-up comic. After an evening practicing gags for my big gig, today is judgment day. But before what could be my slow death on stage, there's still the small matter of finding a wine for comedian Gina Yashere. So I've come to Santa Barbara's wine quarter, The Funk Zone. I've got a very specific brief for a very particular sort of palate. I'm looking for something that is plush and fruity, soft, low acidity, which is your softest, roundest red. I love it. I'm just wondering whether my friend would love it. I was wondering about Grenache Blanc. I think I am getting a bit warmer here. I think that's the one that's closest to where Gina is going to be. Can I get a Grenache Blanc? Thank you very much indeed. Thank you very much. Brilliant, see you again. Enjoy, thank you. Just really fruity is what we're after. This is a blend of seven different grapes. It's really ripe. Yeah. Okay, I like that. I really like it. I'm just wondering whether she will. Have you got another rose? It's a Ziffen Dauer and Grenache Blanc. It's called Deborah. That is delicious. Hit me up with a Deborah. All right. Is that for me? Yep, that's for you. Awesome, see you again. Thank you so much, yep. I've got my shopping. As a super taster, Gina's palate is highly sensitive to bold flavours and textures, so I've chosen three softer wines. A Grenache Blanc, a Zinfandel and Grenache Blanc Blush, and a Half Dry Riesling. I'm convinced that one of these will awaken the inner wine lover in Gina. If not, I could well end up as the butt of one of her jokes. Let's have it, let's have it. I could crush your career right now. Yes, very easily. We're tasting the wines at Sterns Wharf overlooking the Pacific, so if Gina doesn't like any of the wines I've chosen, at least I can dive for cover. Right, I'm going to start off with this. This is a Grenache Blanc. I can smell it already actually. Can you? It smells nice. Good, excellent. I'm on the right track then. Go on, have a taste. Good, first impressions? It's quite strong on the back of the throat. It's quite sweet. I like the sweet. It's fruity. Yeah. It doesn't leave a horrible lack on my tongue, which I like a lot. Good. We've started strongly, I think. Yeah, that's pretty good. I don't think that's going to be the one you really like. Okay. California is very famous for these blush wines, particularly made from Zinfandel. So have a go. This is Deborah. I do like the colour. Definitely smells like deeper fruit than that. You can have a go. Your face is a picture doing that. I did like that one, but now I'm like, actually, no, this one's a bit better. Yes. I like the extra sweetness and fruitiness in this one. It doesn't leave that horrible on my tongue, which I like a lot. It's nice. I like it. Right. Having understood about where you are with texture and flavour and ripeness and then fruitiness and the best bits out of red, I think this is where we go. This is a Riesling growing in the hills here. So have a try of that. Doesn't smell as strong. Which I think, given your hypersensitive palate, is not a terrible thing because I don't want to overwhelm all those probably 8,000 taste buds that you have. OK. Here we go. This is the moment. In for a penny. Be honest. Well, Joe. I like this one. Yes. Brilliant. This is my favourite. Even though it's white, it's still got a nice strong flavour. Still nice and sweet. Same texture, which is good. It didn't leave an aftertaste. This is good. Huge relief. That is good. Obviously. I'm impressed, Joe. Obviously, don't be too relieved because obviously you're doing stand-up tonight. Yes. With Gina's words ringing in my ears, we take to the Pacific Highway, bound for Hollywood. Tonight, I make my debut in the most cutthroat business there is. All right, you ready? Let's start going through these jokes. OK. What's your opening? Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Joe, and I'm from England. I... My name is Joe, and I'm from England. I was lucky enough to receive the finest educations at... I'm getting very concerned now, Joe. All right, so from the top. Hello, my name is Joe, and I'm from England. I've got faith in you, Joe. I have faith in you, man. Calm down. Let's do it. Oh, that's excellent. Face right here. OK. I'm not OK. No. Your name's in lights, Joe. My name is in lights. You're the headliner, man. Let me lead you to your destiny, Joe. This is your destiny. All right, Joe. This is it. Your moment has come. I'm going to go and drink a glass of losing. OK. You're on your own now. I'm on my own. Enjoy. I'm going to go and sit and watch the show. To bring up your first comedian of the night, guys, all the way from London. It's actually his first time ever on stage. So make a lot of noise. Start clapping right now for Joe Farideh. Hello, my name's Joe. I'm from England. I used to work for the USPGA tour. You know, the golf tour? I used to travel around the United States. It was an amazingly challenging job. I can't tell you how difficult this was. To try and persuade rich old white dudes that after a game of golf, they maybe would like to go and have a drink. Now, I'm talking about American golfers. It's been a bad week for Trump. This is absolutely true. This week in a very big wine tasting competition in London, Trump wines came last. Although I think we will soon discover this is fake news. They actually come from the greatest winery ever in the history of humanity. No one's ever made wine like this. Really, they're tremendous. Tremendous wines. You know what? I'm very comfortable coming here to LA. I travel all around the world, but, you know, arriving here, the homo... Gentlemen, thank you very much. I'm Joe Farideh from The Wine Show. That was utterly terrifying. Yeah! He did great. Look at this. You haven't got a new career yet, but you did great. You did great. The last couple of days have been fantastic. It's been an eye-opener for me. I've learned a lot. I've discovered stuff about myself. Top 5%. I know I've said it about 27 times, but I'm going to say it again. Top 5% of tasters in the world. I've discovered I actually have a wine that I like, and there may be more. So I'm looking forward to testing out my newly discovered palate. And Joe's great, and I've got him to do something he's never done before. So it's been fantastic. I'm doing that again. That was amazing. Uh-oh, I've created a monster. Am I allowed a drink? That was great. Let's go and have a wine. Yeah, we should go and have a wine. Let's go have a wine. Look at that. You are such a good sport, and I thought you did really well. That was very impressive, Joe. Terrifying. I thought you stood, but you stood there. You stood your ground. You didn't twitch that much. Listen, I know it's on the table here. It's sweating in front of me, and I actually wouldn't mind a small glass of something cold. This is Gina's wine. This is the wine. And I like the reason. Is this a wine as close as you can get to Sprite as possible? It's not a million miles away. Okay. It's really good wine. And don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way suggesting that this is anything of the top wine. You ain't knocking it. This is Halcyon Riesling from the Deep Sea Winery in Santa Barbara. And the tasting room itself, where we tasted the wine, is at the end of a pier right out into the sea. It's a beautiful view. I quite like it. Do you? No, I like it. I can see why she liked it, though. Now you say, I can see why she liked it. Does that imply you don't? No, no, no, no. I can just sense that there is a roundness, there's a lack of acidity to it, there is a... It doesn't... It's not like... It's nice and pleasant. It's pretty palatable, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. I suspect there will be people asking, what's my palate like? Of course they are. They'll have all sorts of questions on what wines will work for somebody like me. How can they find that out? We do quite a lot of work to put this on the Wineshow website. Hashtag tarn. Come and have a look around. We will have lots of information about your taste buds and the wines that we've tasted. And how you can test it, and how you can test it for yourself. That's smart. Well, Joe, thank you very much, because these are two very different wines, very intriguing, and I think I prefer the Merlot. And also, a thank you to you. First show out of the way, a new engine in this rudderless ship. Oh, you sugar lips. Please tune in next time for the Wineshow. Sorry about that. Is it getting a bit cow? It's a bit cowl. Okay, no problem. Thank you, good tip. It's like a nipple hanger.