獨家一個人的自傲、自負，往往源於他（她）的自卑 #乾淨世界 #蓓姨Life #心理健康 #自媒體

A friend in the comment section asked me to talk about self-abasement. In fact, everyone has a self-abasement mentality, more or less. It's just that everyone's way of behaving is different. I once read a definition of self-abasement. When an individual faces a problem and is not properly prepared or responded to it, and he thinks he can't solve it, a sense of self-abasement appears. Because self-abasement often causes tension, so there is a kind of forced action towards superiority, but it does not solve the problem, but focuses on avoiding failure. He will hesitate, stop, or even retreat in the face of difficulty. If a person has a self-abasement, he will have the motivation to drive him to seek superiority or avoid possible failure. Some people use excessive self-abasement to hide their self-abasement. There is also a kind of fear of socializing. He thinks it is the fear of self-abasement that leads to self-abasement. But in fact, he is trying to avoid getting hurt in interpersonal relationships, so he unifies and avoids all socializing to protect himself. Self-abasement is just a shield he picks up. There is also a kind of person who sees other people's achievements and says, 只要我有时间开始认真做,我也能成。 他想通过想象让自己产生一种 我做什么都行都很厉害的假象, 把一切都归因为我是因为没有时间没有认真做。 我做我也能成,或许吧, 但实际上有可能他真的去做的时候可能连1%都做不到。 他这么说只是不想面对现实能力不足的自己, 不敢面对可能的挫败,所以索性就不去做。 还有一类人说风凉话捣乱甚至搞破坏, 他用这种方式来寻找优越感。 他觉得虽然我无法像你们那样成功, 但我有办法让你们像我一样不成功。 前些年在大陆我住的小区, 只要有好车在小区里停一晚上, 第二天你去看肯定车体到处是花海。 胡适谈人性曾经说道, 人性最大的恶就是恨人有笑人无, 嫌你穷怕你富, 这就是极度自卑导致的人性极度之恶妒忌那将是毁灭性的。 人来世上每个人都有一本特定的剧本, 都在扮演着不同的角色, 没必要去羡慕谁, 说实话你也羡慕不上, 更不必用攀比来寻求自身的价值感和他人的肯定, 人各有命,因果使然。 其实这世上讨厌你的人和喜欢你的人都是定好的, 真正摆脱自卑的方法是你自己要看得起自己, 只有你自己看得起自己的时候, 你才会去大大方方的坦诚坦荡的去面对生活的每一个当下, 让那些喜欢你的人更确定喜欢你是正确的, 让自己有勇气去面对讨厌你的人, 学会感恩,感恩生命中的贵人, 感恩给予我们每次机会的每一个人, 也感恩给我们制造磨难的人, 让我们获得更大的承载力, 勇气和包容心, 面对任何事, 尽心尽力, 不逃避, 不退缩, 不自卑。