30 life changing pieces of advice

In this video I'm sharing 30 pieces of advice that have changed my life for the better and hopefully you'll find them helpful as well. I was talking with my mum recently and I realised how much knowledge and wisdom and amazing advice she's shared with me over the years so in this video I'm also introducing you to her and a lot of the pieces of advice in this video have come directly from her so you can thank her in the comments section. This video is part of my 30 things series so if you enjoy it you can go check out the rest of the playlist after watching. This is my lovely mum. Mum do you want to introduce yourself? This is Rosie. Good girl, you're so gorgeous. Thanks mum. Well I wanted to put you in this video because you're always giving me the best advice so thank you for all the years of wisdom and advice. Tell yourself I have time. Those three little words help me so much when I'm feeling overwhelmed even if I really feel like I don't have the time to fit in everything that I want or need to do just saying to myself I have time is incredibly helpful in making me feel less stressed. Five minutes is better than nothing. Five minutes of journaling, five minutes of exercise, five minutes of responding to emails, five minutes of cleaning and organising. I don't know about you but I have this tendency to build things up in my head and feel like if I can't go the whole hog and do something perfectly then it's not worth doing and that means that quite often I end up not doing that thing for quite a long time and I become inconsistent and then I lose momentum and it's harder for me to get started when I actually do need to. What I do nowadays is just try to do a little chunk, just give a minimal amount of effort if I really don't have much energy rather than not doing that thing at all. Be the person who pays the favour forward. This is a lesson that I learned most acutely when I was working as a healthcare assistant. I worked at a hospital that was miles away from where I lived. I had to get a bus, I had to then get a train and then I had a 40 minute walk to the hospital from the train station so it was a long slog to get to work and my shifts were 13 hours long so it always felt like such a trek it would take me like two hours to get to and from work each way. Anyway there was this nurse that I sometimes worked with and she lived not that far away from me and when she was on shift she would give me a lift home after my shift. I was so grateful to her every single time that she did this and I remember saying to her once like how can I repay you this was so nice of you to give me a lift and she said don't think about that pay the favour forward when somebody else is in this position or there's a favour that you can do for somebody else pay it forward and that's always stuck with me so I just wanted to share that because I love that piece of advice. Be mindful who you take advice from it's so easy for anybody and everybody to dish out advice but ask yourself are they in the position that you actually want to be in are they somebody that you respect and admire are they somebody who you actually want advice from you can listen to their advice but it doesn't mean you have to actually take it on board or do what they say just be mindful. This one is valid for whether you're communicating with your partner or your friends or maybe arguing with strangers on the internet pick your battles you only have so much energy and fighting the wrong battles will drain you piece of advice that I learned from Jamie Holliday the women's mindset coach is that when you're thinking about your to-do list prefix it with all I have to do is it makes it feel so much less stressful and so much more manageable absolute game changer. Say hi Tilly you want to say hi to everyone. Nothing is a wasted experience sometimes it's only in hindsight that we can realize the value in something that we've been through like going through a breakup or going through a job loss or something really difficult or feeling like you're stuck or you're in a stagnant period of your life it can feel really frustrating and you can feel like I just can't wait to get through this or this is setting me back in life but in reality when you look back on any of these kinds of experiences you've had you realize how much growth happened during that time think back to a time when you were going through something really difficult and now realize how many lessons you've learned from that nothing is a wasted experience even if you can't see it when you're in the moment. Wear your SPF it is as simple as that. Remember that no one and I mean no one is thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself and I find this such a comforting thought because we go about our teens and our 20s assuming that everyone is judging us and everyone is thinking about us and you know maybe they are but honestly no one is thinking about you as much as you think about yourself. I want you to think about your best friend or one of your favorite people in the world maybe it's a family member maybe it's your partner maybe it's one of your friends how often have you thought about them today okay maybe you've thought about them once maybe you've thought about them twice maybe you've thought about them a few times I'm willing to bet that you haven't spent more than five or ten minutes thinking about them today and this is the person in the world that you love the most nobody is thinking about you that much. So this is a piece of advice that Vince has given me and you say this all the time you can't give offense you can only take offense don't you you say that? I do. And I think that's very useful information you are genuinely someone that never gets offended by things yeah give it back I make them cry and as someone who used to be very sensitive this is just quite refreshing. Life is too short to waste time on bad books there are so many people out there who have written masterpieces they've downloaded the information from their brain onto paper for you to read and if you're reading a bad book you have my full permission to stop halfway and forget about finishing it. Life's too short your time's precious and go and read a better book. Speaking confidently and being sure of yourself we often add in words like kind of I think maybe and we use ums and ahs when actually we really do know what we're talking about we use those words to soften what we're trying to say and it makes you seem like you're not sure of yourself it makes you seem not as confident. I learned this from the audiobook The Ultimate Jim Rohn Collection I've talked about this loads on this channel I absolutely love that audio audiobook so if you haven't listened to it it's a very long one I would highly recommend it there is just so much good life advice in there. Trust that the right information will reach you when it's supposed to at the right time we live in a world full of information books podcasts courses youtube videos all full of wonderful information and stories and while this is absolutely amazing we can fall into a trap of thinking that if we just find the right book or we just find the perfect course then our problems will be solved. While it is helpful to have these resources available to us I want you to remember that you take a different piece of information each time you consume something you take the thing that is relevant to you at that time. I don't know if you've ever read a book twice or listened to a podcast episode twice or watched a youtube video twice and you found that you take something slightly different from it and that's because at that time you needed to hear a particular thing from it so trust that the right information will come to you at the right time you do not need to find the next big thing it's all there waiting for you and you'll take what you need at the right time. Stop complaining so much I actually made a video about that which I'll link up here where I did 30 days of no complaining and I learned a lot in that 30 days and I felt really positive afterwards. Now complaining can be helpful in some instances you know you notice a problem you complain about it you make a change but what I realized doing this challenge was that most of the time I'd say 99% of the time complaining was robbing me of my power. I was choosing to complain as an easy way out because it felt like some sort of cathartic release to be able to vent about the problem but actually I'm not doing anything about it I'm choosing to complain rather than take some action and not only that but it's kind of a boring topic of conversation for the other person it brings the energy down and it's just not really a nice way to have a conversation there are so many more interesting things to talk about than complaining about things. It's okay to be the bad guy in somebody else's story. This piece of advice came from my mum at a much needed time when I was going through a breakup maybe in my late teens early 20s and I remember breaking up with this guy and I thought that we'd probably end up staying friends and everything would be amicable and it would all be okay. Well things didn't work out like that he started spreading all these rumours about me and it was really nasty and it was all untrue and it really upset me and I remember ringing up my mum and saying to her how can I stop him from doing this and also how can I make him like me again? I thought we were going to be friends after breaking up which was very naive of me and my mum just said to me Sarah it's okay to be the bad guy in somebody else's story focus on yourself stop worrying about what he thinks of you about what he's doing and if he's spreading all these rumours about you the people that care about you will understand that it's not true or even if they think it is true they won't care. That was such an important piece of advice for me and I wanted to pass that on to you and especially for those of you who are people pleasers because we are so desperate to be liked we're programmed to want to make everybody like us and to make sure that everybody thinks that we're a wonderful person and it kills a little bit of our soul if we think that people are annoyed at us or don't like us but actually if you want to grow as a human being and you want to improve yourself you've got to let that go you've got to allow yourself to be the bad guy in somebody else's story you've got to not worry if people hate you or if people don't like you it's not your problem your problem is whether you like them your problem is making up your mind about what you want to do what you want to focus on stop trying to control everybody else's opinion of you just carry on living your because none of it matters remember that people will ultimately do whatever they want to do I remember having this conversation with my mum where there was a situation with one of my friends and this friend was making a decision that I felt was unwise and I was a bit worried about it and I spoke to my mum and my mum said to me that phrase people will ultimately do whatever they want to do my friend probably knew that the situation was unwise but she chose that and it was really freeing hearing those words from my mum it's a bit like that let them thing from Mel Robbins you know people are annoyed at you let them be people are doing things you don't want them to let them it's so freeing to remember that it's not your responsibility first of all you know you can't control what other people are doing and nor should you try to but also realizing that ultimately some part of them wants that and some part and they they have the decision making capabilities and the knowledge that they need to make their own decisions about their life so let them people will ultimately do whatever they want to do some advice from my incredible mother-in-law who is an absolute domestic goddess Angela is that if you've got a clean kitchen and a clean bathroom then you're always ready for guests and she said that she was told that by her own mum and something that I've found that makes cleaning the bathroom so much easier is having a bathroom spray just in the cupboard in the bathroom using that with a bit of toilet tissue just to give it a quick once over now this isn't like your normal weekly deep clean of the bathroom but it's enough just to make the bathroom smell a bit fresher to make the shaps make the taps shiny and make it smell and look fresh more words of wisdom from my mum just because you can do something and even if you can do that thing well it doesn't mean you have to and it doesn't mean you should and I love this because it's so freeing I feel like we live in a world that is so beautiful we have so many options and opportunities around us and that is a wonderful thing but it also means that if you're someone like me who's always got loads of ideas and thoughts about what to do and loves to hear opinions from other people and advice from other people it can mean that you end up feeling pressured and like you have too many things on your plate and too much to do so for example I had a message from somebody the other day saying that I would make a good psychiatrist and like that's really flattering and that's really lovely and psychiatry is a career that I had considered and perhaps I'd be really good at it but it doesn't mean I have to do it and it doesn't mean I should necessarily do it same with becoming a GP or going into my A&E training I could do it and I probably could do it pretty well doesn't mean I have to I could also probably be a very good baker or painter you know life is full of options and opportunities and I think this is a really wonderful piece of advice to remind us that we should be led by what feels joyful and fun and right for us and nobody else can decide that other than you so even though you can do something and you can potentially do it very well choose the things that bring you the most joy and your life will feel the most fulfilling your life will have the most meaning and it will be the best possible life for you another very important lesson from my mum make your own cake all right so when I was in medical school I went on this placement which was really far away it was like two and a half hours away from where I was living and I didn't know anyone there and in my first week it happened to be my birthday and I remember complaining to my mum and being like oh it's my birthday I'm not going to do anything I'm not going to see anyone I'm not going to have any celebrations I probably won't have a birthday cake and I was expecting my mum to give me some sympathy because she is such a sweet person and she normally does but she gave me some real tough love and it was exactly what I needed at the time and she said Sarah make your own cake make yours bake yourself a cake invite your colleagues around invite the rest of the people from your group over tell them it's your birthday no one can read your mind don't expect them to and don't expect other people to go out of their way to make you a cake or buy you a cake and celebrate with you it's up to you and this is just such a good metaphor for so many things in life taking self-responsibility and using direct communication being the person to invite others to have fun so this is a key life lesson make your own damn cake learning to ask yourself what the ideal future version of you would do is so helpful when you're having like a low energy low motivation day so for example this morning I woke up and I was like oh I feel a bit low definitely don't have a lot of motivation and I was so tempted to start my day with scrolling and eating a rubbish breakfast and skipping my workout and then I asked myself the question which is what I often do what would the ideal future version of me do and when you have this clear image in your head of this ideal future version of you you can think about the actions that they would take the habits that they would have and it all becomes clear like obviously the ideal future version of me would get myself up and do the workout even if it's not perfect she would eat a good breakfast she wouldn't start her day with scrolling um so this morning I did a bit of reading when I first woke up I took myself to the gym I did my workout it wasn't the best workout in the world but did I feel better after it yes of course I did so getting into the habit of asking myself this has made such a difference for me and I hope it does for you too one of the most important takeaways from the book men are from mars women are from venus although it's a little bit of a problematic book and it hasn't dated all that well in some areas but when I read it many many years ago the most important thing that I took away from it is that we're a social species we shouldn't place all of our expectations and hopes on one person yes our partners are there and they're amazing and they enhance our lives and we enhance theirs but it's up to us to figure out what we need and to rely on a network of people to fulfill those roles to have friends and lean on them for certain things and lean on your partner for other things not to place all of your expectations on one person because that person can't necessarily fulfill everything that you need and that is totally okay and totally normal be the kind of person who asks everyone how their day is going now this is one that I learned from my stepdad John and it's almost exactly a year ago since he passed away so I've been thinking about him a lot recently and he was the kind of person who made everyone feel important he would ask everyone what how their day was going he would use people's names he was so kind and friendly and I just think that we need more of that in the world we need more people lifting each other up and just making people feel like a human asking how their day's going asking how their shift's going thanking people it's just common courtesy and I try to do this as much as I possibly can when I'm out and about but also you know obviously at work as well talking to patients just being a friendly kind human being invest in good quality skincare now I used to spend a fortune on skincare and get very average results I have very oily spot prone skin and since I've switched over to prescription strength skincare my skin has never looked better and I am so thrilled with the result so I'll leave what I use down below as an affiliate link if you want to try it there's a discount code for me investing in good quality skincare is a really good use of my money and also my time because I'm not doing trial and error with all these different products thought I'd show you some before and afters so you can see for yourself so on the left side my skin is not that bad but on the right side there is a marked improvement after three months I'll leave the discount link in the description box below would it really be one of these 30 things videos if I wasn't out in the woods wearing this gigantic rain rain jacket it's not even mine it's Vince's but it's just so cozy and so comfy the next piece of advice is from one of my favorite life coaches on this planet in fact one of my favorite people on this planet Susan Hyatt and she says that we should embrace our quirks because they are our superpowers and I love this so much and it's taken me such a long time to get to the point where I'm happy embracing my quirks embracing my weird side embracing the things about me that are different or strange or unusual because when we hide those parts of us when we try to be someone we're not or we try to cover those parts of us up we're connecting with people in a false way we're not really showing them our true selves when you embrace the stranger parts of you the parts of you that perhaps you got bullied for when you were younger or things that you felt ashamed about when you embrace those parts of you you connect with people on a deeper level you find your people and life just gets exponentially better and better and I think that's one of the things that's been so great about having a YouTube channel is that it has made me more confident because it's forced me to find those parts of me and to you know when you're making YouTube videos you're deciding what am I going to show do I present this like polished perfect image and I made a decision very early on with this channel that that's not what I wanted I wanted to show the fact I've got piles and piles of laundry around that I haven't had time to do I want to show the fact that I haven't got my life completely together and that things get messy things get disorganized when we're trying to hide behind perfection all the time is so much pressure and it's just this false reality so yeah embrace your quirks because they are your superpowers something I've learned through experience is to add buffer time either side of a holiday or vacation so what I used to do is try and jam pack my time away so if I had seven days off work I would be away for those entire seven days but what I found is that the start of the holiday would actually be quite stressful getting packed and ready to go away and then at the end of the holiday all I'd be thinking about is the fact that I'm coming home and going straight back to work so I find that if I give myself an extra couple of days either side of the holiday I actually enjoy myself more and I get more rest and recharging from the time away the time will pass anyway you may as well spend it doing what you actually want to do this was a piece of advice that was given to me by one of my colleagues before I started medical school I was working as a healthcare assistant I'd finished my undergraduate degree in biomedical sciences and I was trying to decide what to do with my future deep down I knew I wanted to be a doctor but I was giving myself all these excuses and reasons why I shouldn't do it like I didn't have enough money to go to medical school and the training was too long and maybe I should just go work in a grad scheme and do something quicker and easier but really I knew I wanted to be a doctor and one of the things that I said to him was I'm going to be 27 by the time I graduate that feels like it's way too old to be starting my career and he said to me the time's going to pass anyway you're going to be 27 no matter what you may as well be 27 and a doctor than 27 and doing something you don't really want to do and that was a real pivotal moment for me it helped me in making my decision to apply to medical school and to just throw myself into life and go after what I really wanted I love this one as a reminder to be kind to yourself and gentle with yourself and not to regret your past decisions so it's a Maya Angelou quote that I just keep coming back to again and again which is do the best you can until you know better than when you know better do better this is one from Oprah Winfrey I listen to her podcasts and she shares so much wisdom on there so 100% recommend listening to that if you don't already one of the things that Oprah says is when somebody shows you who they really are believe them the first time sometimes it's only in hindsight that we can start to notice patterns in people's behaviors and we might allow it the first time and think you know oh that wasn't really them or make excuses for them and justify why they've behaved in a certain way but over time if that habit becomes a pattern then really it's on us to decide what boundaries we need to set between them and us when it comes to food think about how you can add rather than subtract how can you add more flavor how can you add more nutrients how can you add more enjoyment to your day through food I feel like we've been sold this myth through diet culture that we should be viewing food as either good or bad and that we should be restricting and counting calories and this is just such a harmful way to be thinking when we start to view food as this beautiful delicious thing that adds to our lives then we become free of that harmful message that diet culture is trying to push on us do it scared this is some more advice from my amazing mom this was when I was starting work as a doctor I remember feeling really anxious and a lot of dread about going into work worrying that I wasn't good enough worrying that I didn't live up to the standards that were set for me and that I was setting for myself and I remember speaking to my mom about it a lot and she's somebody who has struggled with anxiety as well so she really understands it on a deep level and she told me that when she started work as a teacher for her first year she felt really anxious about going into work and sometimes she would get so stressed about it that she would even be sick and hearing her say that she felt like that but she still showed up to work gave me the courage to just feel that anxiety and still turn up to work put a smile on my face bring my best self and go in if you've enjoyed this video leave a thumbs up and let me know in the comments down below which piece of advice has changed your life I would love to hear it and I'm sure everyone reading the comments would also love to hear it so let's make a thread of really amazing advice big shout out to my mom for this video thank you mom love you this video is part of my 30 things video so I'll leave that linked on the screen for you here thanks for watching bye