Men Are Extremely Attracted to Women Who Detach

Alright ladies, I want you to think about this for a second. Imagine that you're standing in front of me right now, okay? And I give you a hug. And then 30 seconds pass, 45 seconds, a whole minute. At some point, you probably want to pull away, right? It's instinctive. We all have this natural resistance when we feel like someone is trying to hold on too tight. And relationships work the same way. My name is Ismael Gomez. I'm a coach, writer, and speaker. And in this video, I will discuss why men are extremely attracted to women who know how to detach and let go. I know you've heard this a thousand times in other videos, but many of you keep falling into the same patterns because you don't fully understand the basics of detachment and how to actually put it into practice. So stop multitasking, give me your full attention, and let's begin. Number one. Inputs versus outputs. Ladies, here's what most of you get wrong about detachment and dating and relationships. You assume that detachment means never texting first or playing hard-to-get. But then you're still anxiously checking your phone, waiting for that message, hoping the other person will stay interested. That is not true detachment. That is just masking your anxiety behind calculated tactics. True detachment is not about manipulating the situation. It's about shifting your mindset and focusing on what's within your control, also known as your inputs. When you focus only on the inputs and what you can actually influence, you let go of obsessing over the outcome. You stop worrying about getting a text back, are they still interested, what is their next move, none of that will matter because you know that you did your part. Think about how many times you've sent a text or done something because you really wanted the other person to notice you. But as I told you before, when you solely focus on the result and then you don't get what you want, you will start overthinking and feeling anxious, which leads you down a rabbit hole of unattractive behaviors that push a man away. Anything you chase will run from you, anything you cling to will do anything to get out of your grasp, and anything you put on a pedestal will always be out of your reach. This is why detachment is the key to getting anything you want. Now this doesn't mean that you stop wanting things or stop loving things altogether. It just means that we know inside that we will be okay whether we have this thing or not. If you're not getting the security that you want from a man when it comes to love, it's most likely because you don't know how to deal with the uncertainty that comes with it. Every single relationship will have moments of uncertainty, especially when you're first dating or getting to know each other. But in those moments, how are you going to react? Are you going to pay close attention to their actions and make an informed decision? Or are you going to try to force someone to be consistent and devoted when they're clearly not excited to enter into a relationship with you? Because here's the other thing about detachment. Many of you ladies believe that there's a special someone out there who will complete you. Your soulmate, your twin flame, or other half. However, what this idea implies is that you are incomplete on your own. Leading you to project an idea of what this man is supposed to be like, and how he's going to fulfill you in all the areas where you feel that you're lacking. So as a result, you start projecting that image onto every single man that you meet. So you're not seeing people for who they are. Instead, you're attaching the version of them that you want. And when they show you that they're not that person, you get frustrated. And you try to do things to make them become who you want them to be. This is when you start chasing, right? When you're chasing an outcome, usually something that you want to receive from this man, like love, attention, or validation. So letting go doesn't mean that you stop caring about someone. Instead, it means that you stop relying on their opinion of you to define your self-worth. Here's how I want you to think about it. Imagine your favorite song, okay? Your favorite song. And now, pay attention to these two different approaches. In the first approach, you don't really like the way that you sing the song. You know, you don't really like your voice. It's okay, but you're not really into it. So you're looking for a man that knows how to sing and can sing you that song. If that is your mindset, the moment that you find a good singer, right? You start chasing that guy who can sing your favorite song. Now, in the second approach, what if you really enjoy your own voice, okay? What if you know how to sing your favorite song to yourself and you don't need anybody to perform it to you? Then when you find a man who has an amazing voice, guess what? You don't need him to sing it to you, right? You can just wait to see if he wants to sing along with you. I will say this again and again until we all collectively get it through our heads. People who avoid their own feelings will neglect yours. Number three, needing versus becoming. Here's a life lesson that took me many years to understand and that is that you can have what you need. Now, you might be thinking, Ismail, how does that even make sense? You know, but hear me out. Have you ever noticed that the people who desperately need something, okay? Like money or love seems to struggle the most to get it. Meanwhile, those people that don't put much emphasis on those things, they often have them in abundance. This used to frustrate me so much, especially growing up back in Cuba where my family needed more money and I always felt that it was like it kept slipping away. The reason for this comes down to one thing and that is that the more you need something, the more you're pushing it away. When you place too much importance on something, you create a gap between what you are and what you want to be. So now you're not going to attract it. You're going to start chasing it because you feel that it's out of your reach. Because here's the thing, when you really need something, usually that desire is just a middleman, okay? You want to get something out there to have an experience within you. When you really need love, it's because you want to feel loved. You want to feel seen, accepted. When you really want money, it's because you want to feel powerful and in control. But here's the kicker, okay? And that is that you can access those emotions right now without needing the thing that you're chasing. Just think about it this way. Imagine that I came up to you and said, Hey, I'm feeling down. I really need you to make me laugh. You will probably feel pressured, you know, and struggle to come up with a good joke. Maybe even refuse. But what if you saw me laughing at something on my own? Okay, that energy would naturally draw you in. You'll be curious thinking, what is so funny? Like, what is this smile laughing about? And this goes back to the inputs and outputs that I explained at the beginning. Needing is focusing on the output that you want. If you put your focus on becoming the person that attracts those things, then you'll have them in your life eventually. Like, I remember when I first started posting here on YouTube, I was like completely obsessed with trying to get 1 million views on one video. And I was always getting 10,000 views and 20,000 views and I was very frustrated. But do you want to know when I got my first video to reach 1 million views? It was the moment that I stopped caring. I just sat down and said, Okay, I want to improve my videos. I want to get a better camera. You know, I want to train my voice because I was sounding very high-pitched and nervous. I want to work on my communication skills. And I started focusing on the inputs and slowly became a better YouTuber. Again, I stopped needing and I started becoming and that's what led me to my success today. Just got this in the mail today. Here we go. And you know, this is proof that hard work pays off. Thank you for this ladies. Thank you so much for this. All right, ladies, that's it for today's video. I hope that this gives you a fresh perspective on detachment because honestly, I've seen tons of videos here on YouTube about it and most of them are quite misleading. The biggest mistake that I see people make is thinking that detachment means not putting any effort at all, you know, just sitting back and waiting. But like I said, the key is to stay engaged without feeling the need for a specific outcome. Anyways, if you have any questions about what I said, just let me know in the comments. I'll try to answer as many as I can. Thank you so much for subscribing to my channel. I'm glad that you've chosen me to learn about self-love, dating, and relationship dynamics because like I always say, for your relationships to change, you need to change. Have a beautiful day.