Why Men Are VERY ATTRACTED to Women Who Don't Try Hard!

Have you ever wondered why a lot of men seem to be way more attracted to women who don't try hard? Women who don't put in a lot of effort? Women who keep men guessing? Whereas some nice women who try to find a good guy, women who try to have a good relationship, women who put in big efforts, are easily ignored and sometimes treated without a lot of respect. Does this mean you have to be a bad woman in order to have a good love life? Or that your phone should only send about half of the messages you try to send, you know, so you can ignore him a bit on autopilot? Well, it sometimes seems that way, doesn't it? Because you may also have noticed that as soon as a woman really likes a guy and starts doing her best, it will be very easy to lose him. Sometimes all she has to do is use the magical sentence, Hey, I wonder, and I don't want to put pressure on you, but where is this girl? And she might not even be able to finish the sentence before he jumps in his car and then races out of there because he thinks there's a T-Rex running after him. Perhaps you also noticed that the men she's not interested in will often be way more attracted to her than the man she cannot stop thinking about. Isn't that great? So you may have wondered, OK, so what is it that makes women who don't try hard so attractive to a lot of guys? Well, it's their mindset and the way they behave. It's not because they are bad, but there is a big possible misconception here as well. So in this video, I'll go over five reasons why men are so attracted to women who don't try hard. And the final reason may even surprise you, because that one proves that men can be more sensitive than you might think. If you don't know me yet, my name is Geert. I'm an author. I also use the pen name Brian Knox, and I've done a lot of research when it comes to this topic while I was writing some of my books about dating and relationships for women. First, I would like to address the potential misconception you might think, right, women who don't try hard simply never chase after a guy. They never run after him. They don't show their feelings. They may not even show they're interested in a guy. They wait for the men to come to them, to seduce them, to prove their worth. Well, no, not really, because as I'm sure you may have noticed, it doesn't matter how great or funny or smart or attractive a woman is. If she waits for men to come to her, if she's afraid to show that she's interested in a guy or to text him first or to ask him out again, she will only have a very small group of men to choose from. And in that group, she will find a lot of players and bad men. Trying is not bad. Trying hard is bad. Showing that you're interested isn't bad. It's even necessary if you want a romantic relationship. Men or women, if we are passive in our love life, we will only get to experience a very small percentage of what's really possible. Now, the first thing men are really attracted to is that women who don't try hard never try to change a man's opinion about them. So they don't try to make him like them. They think, do I like him? Are you worth my time, my energy and my attention? And they're not arrogant about this. But instead of thinking, how do I make him like me? They think, should I like him? They may have feelings for him. Their mind may think about him continuously. Their mind may even believe he's the best thing that ever happened to them since chocolate. But they still wonder whether continuing with him is best for them or not. And because of this, they go slow. They don't get excited too soon. Even if he looks like the perfect guy inside and out, he will have to prove it. They know even princes can turn back into frogs. Now, this gives the man the opportunity to put in efforts. And there's a very strange thing that can happen then. When we have to put in efforts for something, we may start valuing it even more. And you may have already felt that as well. We put in efforts for things and people that we find valuable. And because we put in efforts, we may value them even more. Now, I do want to repeat that the women I'm talking about in this video are not passive. They don't try hard, but they do try. They also invest in a relationship, of course. But they know very well when to stop. They meet a great guy. They may initiate a conversation. They may text him first. They may ask him out on a date or tell him that it was a great date afterwards. They will put in a certain amount of effort. And then they leave it up to the guy. If he doesn't reciprocate, if he's not consistent, if he starts ignoring them, then they won't try harder. They stop. They open the door. If he doesn't want to come in, then they won't drag him in. And men can sense this and are often very attracted to it. So are a lot of women, of course. This behavior actually proves that someone has self-esteem and self-love and boundaries and standards. And that's very attractive. The second reason why women who don't try hard are so attractive to men is because once a man has had his first girlfriends, he has, of course, learned that there's much more than just looks when it comes to having a great relationship with a great person. So just like you probably are, most men are looking for a relationship with someone with a great personality, a relationship without any unnecessary drama or games or immature behavior. They want to feel good in their romantic relationship. Now, looks are easy to see, but someone's personality, well, that's a lot harder to spot. There we have to use certain signs. You do this, so you probably... And we're often not consciously thinking about these things, but our mind and our instincts, they are paying attention to this. So what a lot of people are looking for are signs of self-esteem, boundaries and standards. And the best sign that someone has these is when they don't over-invest in their relationship. You don't like me? Bye. You start ignoring me? What's your name again? Bye. You do like me? You do invest your time and your energy in this relationship? Great. Me too. Again, it's fine to invest first, to put in some efforts first, to break the ice, to open the door, but then it has to start coming from both sides. So not over-investing, not being too eager, not overcompensating, those are some of the things that make women who don't try hard super attractive. These women lose interest really quickly in men that are not interested in them. And a lot of men appreciate and even love that. Can you see why that is? It's because it makes these men feel special. They don't take her time and her presence and her attention for granted. They know it's very valuable. Her interest in them is not a given. So these men have learned really quickly that if they want her in their life, they will have to be respectful and invest in the relationship as well because otherwise she automatically makes them less important. She won't try hard. She's gone. And here's another reason. Women who don't try hard are often not afraid to get hurt in a relationship or while they are dating a guy. Now, this is an interesting one. When a woman is afraid to get hurt, she may seek validation. She may put up a wall or be jealous or feel or act insecure. She probably won't open up. She may not try hard to get a guy, but she's still trying hard to not get hurt. And that can be a problem as well, of course. She won't enjoy her love life. That's like traveling to a city you've always wanted to visit, arriving by plane and calling a taxi cab to drive you around, but then never getting out of the car. Will that be a great experience? Probably not. When we are too tentative, too careful, we don't get to experience things fully. Now, women who don't try to not get hurt will probably be themselves in their love life. So the men they are dating will be able to experience their full personality and energy, not just a tiny fraction of it. Now, that does two things. When we open up, when the walls come down, when we are fully our vulnerable selves, people that don't like us will figure that out really fast and they will leave. But the people that are meant for us, they can now fully see us and feel the full level of attraction. The fourth reason is a special one. Women who don't try hard to get a guy usually don't ask their love interest. So what are we? Where's this going? As I'm sure you know, asking that question often pushes people away. And when we have to ask it, there's usually already something wrong, of course. So the women I'm talking about in this video don't ask. They take it to where they want it to go. They tell a guy, I like you. I want to go out on a date with you. And then after a couple of great and successful dates where the man has put in efforts as well, where he asked her out as well, if he doesn't say at first, they may say, I want to start a relationship with you. And the guy's either in or out. He won't be pressured. There won't be any, where is this going? Because it's either going where they want or it's not. And if it's not, the guy becomes less important to them, not more important. He deserves less efforts than never more. And because there is no pressure on anyone in that relationship, it will be much easier to commit. Now, why is that? Well, there are many reasons, but one of them is that a lot of people obviously don't like to be controlled in a romantic relationship. They want some freedom and pressure is the opposite. Pressure makes people lose interest fast. And a final huge reason why men are very attracted to women who don't try hard is because they trust them more. Now, this is probably a strange one, but a lot of us men and women have been in previous relationships where things weren't what they seemed, where the person turned out to be totally different than we thought, right? Now, when do we not trust a salesperson, for example, when they pressure us, when they try hard to make the sale to get us to commit, when they try hard to make it look perfect, we may not believe what they are telling us then. It sounds too good to be true. But if that salesperson would say, well, buy it or don't, do what's best for you or even better. If that salesperson would say, well, here are all the reasons why this may not be the right product for you, then what? Then it may start to feel like we can trust them as if they have our best interest in mind, right? And many studies, for example, described in the book Influence by Robert Cialdini have proven that this is how it works. It's the same in a relationship and when we are dating someone, we are also wondering, who are you? Can I trust you? Are you going to make me happy or miserable? Will you break my heart? Should I invest my valuable time and energy and feelings in you? And yes, men think like this as well, of course. Well, those who are serious about having a relationship will, but it's the exact same system. When someone pressures us, when someone tries too hard, it will not feel right. And there you go. I hope you found a lot of value in this video. As always, if you want more, you can find that in my books on Amazon. Simply type my pen name, Brian Knox, in the search box over there. I want to thank you for still being here at the very end of this video. I love it when you do that and I hope to see you in another video.