Abhishek Bachchan Interview | Shoojit Sircar | I Want to Talk

I'm very lucky I get to go out and make the movies but I know that Aishwarya is at home with Aradhya and I thank her immensely for that. That's a huge sacrifice that a mother has done just to be with you and be present. That's an important thing. The conversation currently about cinema is box office but that's our business, not the audience. I grew up watching cinema saying I liked the film or I didn't like the film, nothing else mattered. And I get why people have these discussions. Our problem is we don't have that expression. Yeah, we don't know how to do it. And if we can do it through moments like this then, you know, it's... Abhishek Bachchan, Sujit Sarkar, welcome to The Hindu. Thank you. Before I start talking about the film, Sujit, I have to ask you something. I saw the film at the editing suite of your company and the book that's on the desk over there is called Amitabh Lexicon. It's Bhavna Somaiya's book which is a bunch of words strung together with Amitabh Bachchan's filmography. So A is arrow, is ajuba. B is bottle, so sharabi. Why is that book there on your editing table, I wonder? I've worked with him for the last, now, 17 years. Maybe more than that. Yeah, more than that. I've done four films, feature films. I have done hundreds of commercials. So that book, that's the place for that book, you know. That was given to me by Mr. Bachchan. And so I've kept it there in my edit room. But do you ever refer to editing? Is there any connection in terms of cutting a film or, you know, to look at the vast filmography of Mr. Bachchan? In my office, in various places, you will see various kinds of... There are two, three books on Mr. Bachchan. You will find that. So you will find that book, Mr. Bachchan. My office cannot be without Mr. Bachchan. What is radically different about him as an actor? I guess you guys were acquainted before, of course. But on set, directing him, what's radically different about him as an actor and the experience of directing him from his father, of course? See, I mean, the two different, I mean, personalities. Age groups. Yeah, age groups, different personalities. Mr. Bachchan's style and the method is completely different from his. His style. Mr. Bachchan is... Because he comes from the era of film roles, where you have to be very precise. So he's always into just one take. You know, first take has to be right. And for that, he can rehearse the entire day. So his preparation is a little different in terms of preparing. He works with that method of make sure that what writer and the director has written, and he maintains it. I mean, you know, if I improvise or I change, we need to discuss with him. And we need to inform him prior, at least a day before, that we are doing this kind of an improvisation on the dialogues or the mood. Because, you know, he needs to understand that. That's his style. So his method. With Abhishek, Abhishek is also good with... I mean, he's a writer's delight, he also. There's very commonality between both of them. That he remembers each and every lines and dialogues of the films. But his process is more like, quite acclimatization. Like he will come to the set. What I have noticed, what he's going through, then he will know. But for me, it was that he will come to the set. I never disturb my actors. I never force them, you know, you come, you do it. I leave them. They know the shift timing. They know the schedules. We're all aware of it. And they're also aware of the schedule. They also know, okay, this much time will be required for doing this scene. So I never force them. So if somewhere light is absolutely going, I will ask them, please come and just let's do shot. There also, I will never force. I say, this is the light going. If you're okay, you can come in. So I have seen him, that he will come on to the set. And he will hang around in the set. He will talk. He will have his chai. He will have his coffee. And he's there and he's there. So I will also, you know, we will have an eye-to-eye contact and figure out that he's ready or not. I said, I mean, are you ready to roll? And this, he'd say, few more minutes and then we will roll. So his preparation is more like he's acclimatizing in that situation and trying. And I would absolutely love that if somebody is acclimatizing. And because I know once he's there on the chair or the camera is rolling, then I know he's acclimatized and he's comfortable and he's relaxed. So that was my preparation. Can you talk about this from your point of view? I was having a, you know, sideline conversation with Ronnie, who's your producer. And he said that, Sujit makes the set such that there's hardly extra people. There's like the DP and whoever's needed and actors are just let to be. And, you know, to really own the space. Was that your experience with his difference? I need to be comfortable with my director, with all the technicians on set, with my co-actors, but most importantly with the environment. I like it that way. I don't like any stress. I don't like any confrontation. Because none of that matters in front of the camera. And in front of the camera, to be absolutely truthful to the material, you genuinely have to be, you know, very comfortable. I do like coming, sitting around, chatting, this, that. And he was very supportive of that. Hang out, chill, this. And this film required that as well. Since the film is shot in several different locations of the houses. Those were my houses. They had to be lived in. So I'm very happy sitting, having lunch on the dining table. And, you know, it's about that. So that, we're very similar in that approach. And what was very nice and liberating as an actor is he never once, in this entire film, said, hit your mark. There are a lot of directors that do that. And there is a discipline to that, which is wonderful. And that is a certain kind of filmmaking. That's not him. His thing was, whatever comes naturally to you, do that. I'll capture it. I'll get it. I've got two, three cameras. I'll pick it up. We do one or two rehearsals. So he has a basic sense of where things are moving. And then he lets you be. When a director entrusts that kind of faith onto his actors, I think some magic happens somewhere. I wonder, does he play music or does he play the soundtrack? Because music is such a cue in your films. I often wondered, are the actors hearing this in the scene? I hear that. You play it? Every morning, I play those little pieces that I've used, themes that I've used. You don't prefer that in general? I've only done it once. Why was that? Whenever you're preparing for a scene, especially if it's an emotional scene, I like to sit in the corner with my music on. Music is a great catalyst. The only time it's happened on set was, I was shooting a film called Ludo. Ah, yeah. The crying scene. And there was a scene when I meet my child for the first time. And suddenly in the middle of the scene, suddenly this music started coming out. Very emotional music. And I don't know how I didn't, like I didn't, it would help. And I looked at, you know, I looked at Anurag and he said, yeah, this is mind-blowing but how are you going to use my dialogue? He said, we'll dub it. But it's amazing. And he surprised you with it? Yeah. It's amazing. So all actors, I mean, I've noticed throughout, love, especially before an emotional scene, to just sit in the corner, put their music on, get into the zone. So music, I think for all people on a film set is integral. Lovely. I have a lighter question. So when the film begins, right, the first shot of him, Arjun Sen, discussing cheese on pizza and his thing is focus on the cheese. You know, whatever, whoever's pulling. On the pull. Yeah, on the pull of the cheese. Much later in the film, someone says, Arjun Sen, what is cheese? Right. And I wonder, I was just, you know, standing by and heading. You had to put on a lot of flap. Ritesh says that. Yeah, and there was actual cheese eating, right, for this role, like to bulk up and to have the flap, like for the character. Yeah, yeah. Can you take me to your dietary plan? There was no plan. Whatever you saw in front of you, eat that. So, like, fast food? Oh, yeah, yeah. My staple on set, I mean, I'd already put on the way by the time I came to the film, thanks to Haldiram and Debu Jaya, but on set, breakfast was like frosted flakes with a lot of sugar and full-fat milk and, you know, sausages and all that. Lunch was a big double-decker cheeseburger with a vanilla milkshake and dinner was similar. So, just eat whatever you wanted and in between, Ronnie had a copious amount of Doritos on set. We were shooting in America, so all the greatest chocolate and junk food and in my trailer, you know, they kept a small basket filled with, like, M&Ms and all my favorite chocolates and chips and all that. So, in between takes, you're just at it. It was great. Were you ever a junk eater? Like, say, before, you had to, like, be an actor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am still. I mean, right now, I'm not. I'm off all of that, but I love it. It was heaven for me. Right. Heaven. Until we shot the marathon because then I said, oh, God, this is going to be really tough. But, yeah, it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. He, I mean, one of the first, I mean, I've done movies where I've put on weight. Yeah. I did a film called Bob Biswas a few years ago where Shujoi was the, you know, these Bengalis have this knack of doing this to us. Shujoi used to take me out in Kolkata to have food and all the, you know, great, great. He's the first director who said, eat whatever you want. I don't take this. I remember we were shooting Yuva. Mani used to take food away from me. No, no, don't eat all this. Don't eat the nugget. He's the first guy who said, whatever you want, you eat. It was great fun. Superb. We needed that. We discussed, you know, using prosthetics. My big challenge with prosthetics, and I've tried putting on like a belly, is first of all, visually, it doesn't move naturally. Right. The silicon doesn't get the kind of movement that a natural belly does. Because at the end of the day, it's one singular, it just doesn't move that way. Two, with the prosthetic... It's uncomfortable, yeah. Apart from that, you can deal with the discomfort of it, but that I feel, you know, you forget that you've got it on. Yeah, then your body changes. I don't want to have to act overweight. Right, right. I don't want to have to think... The emotion of the character at that point in time is heavy enough on you. I don't need to be thinking about the other stuff. You know, your shoulders droop a bit. Correct, yeah. Weight does that to you. Your gait changes. I don't want to be thinking about that also. I've got enough to think about. So, for me, seeing and getting to the physicality of a role is 50% of my job. Because once that is done, I think if you get the body language right, a lot of your work is already done. So, I mean, very honestly, if you see the film, there are a lot of scenes where I'm standing up, and you see he's a bit... I'm not acting, that is actually... You know, you feel your knees and oh... It's all natural. So, if that can happen through a process of physical preparation... When was the last time a role like this came around where you need not have to put on weight but physicality played a part and once you had taken care of it, you could just be with the character? All of them. That's something I pay a lot of attention to as an actor. So, all of them. I mean, I started doing this a long time ago. I did it for Guru in 2001. And six. So, I mean, you know, that's the first time I think I really got the opportunity to work on a physicality and since then, it's been a bit of a mantra. You see my last seven, eight films, they've all been about that. This film is, of course, inspired by the wonderful journey of a real cancer survivor, Mr. Arjun Sen. Can you talk about the early conversations you had with the real person and where did you find the story? I mean, there's a peg, right? There's this man who, you know, survived so many surgeries and really fought back the cynicism that was provided to him by the healthcare industry. But where did you find that story and the hooks, let's say, the hook of the daughter or the fact that he's a bit manipulative or things like that? You know, where did the texture of it start coming alive in front of you? Well, it's going to be a long discussion then but I will just take you… Don't tell Arjun that he's manipulative. He doesn't like that word, you know, manipulative. So, you know, we have been discussing because he lives in the US and I was here so we were on a Zoom call for many… since 2020 but we kept on discussing. I kept on probing him about, you know, how is his relationship with his daughter, where is he now, what's his health condition, what about the surgeries and everything we spoke about but I decided to make his journey into a film. There were two moments, situations where I spoke to him once and then spoke to his daughter. So, one situation was that, you know, what we do is we have daughters and, you know, when they are five or six years old and we go out and we say we are going for work and their daughters say, okay, fine, you can, you know, they don't know what work is at that age. They know that my father is going out, right? So, when we were talking and we figured out that, you know, we were stealing time, our daughter's time, the time that we should be spending time with her, we are not spending with her, we are stealing that time and doing our all kind of marketing jobs or shootings or whatever. So, this really hit me. So, I realized possibly my daughter might be looking for me and I am not there at that moment. So, this was one angle was playing in my mind. It might not be only daughters but it could be anyone. Maybe father, maybe mother, anyone. Second conversation was when I spoke to his daughter and when she told me that, you know, she was not, she was opening up but she was, you know, not ready to open up but we kept on talking and she opened up. When she opened up and when she said ki, I still have, looking for that one heart to heart conversation with him. I'm still waiting for that to happen. So, these two hooked me. I said, this is such a beautiful thing, you know. That means she's still hoping something will happen between them and that reconciliation is still, you know, waiting to happen. So, I thought it's a beautiful cinematic, you know, emotion to tap on. Abhishek, did you resonate with this layer, being a busy father yourself? And also, I wonder, kids who grew up, let's see, you're a film child yourself, your parents were busy actors and you're a busy actor and your wife's a busy actor. Do kids who grow up in film families, is it different for them in the sense that they already accept that, okay, a large part of the year, my parents are not going to be around and they grow up with that sense of, I don't know, or is it as hard as it would be? No, no. I mean, I never thought of it as a kid. I never felt, my mother had stopped acting in films when I was born because she wanted to spend time with the children. But we never felt the void of dad not being around. I don't think much is made up of it. I mean, at the end of the day, after work you come home at night. But see, one of them was there. So I'm saying that's a huge sacrifice that your mother has done just to be with you and be present. That's an important thing. So that's what I'm trying to say. Even in my household, I'm very lucky I get to go out and make movies. I know Aishwarya is at home with Aaradhya and I thank her immensely for that. But I don't think the children think of it that way. They don't look upon you in third person. They look upon you in the first. You're the parent. You're the father or the mother. One person can absolutely you know, that's fine. But generally as men, let me tell you, generally as men, I'm telling you, there is some kind of relationship issues, not issues, I'd say. Something stops us to possibly express that finer thing that we require, that communication skill. What mothers can do, you know, I have felt that with my two daughters. Because I think genetically they're wired to be nurturers, we're not. I think so, maybe, of course. And you know, get the food on. You know, I think that's one of the fundamental differences between men and women is that men are not very comfortable expressing their emotions or being demonstrative with their love. We feel we do it in a very different way. So don't you think, sir, we actually address that in a very, very... absolutely. It's there. In fact, he's very proud, your character, I mean, he's very proud that I'm not an absentee father. Right, he says it, but then we see it from the girl's perspective and it's not exactly as there, right? So these are very final, I mean, you'll have to find out. And with all due respect, a man possibly doesn't know any different from his perspective. If you're talking, I mean, with reference to the film, Arjunta thinks I'm doing the best I can do. Why is that not good enough for you? A man, I mean, maybe our emotional quotient isn't what it should be or what it is compared to a mother. But like I said, fundamentally we're very different, you know, where our instincts are different, everything about a man and a woman is very, very different. Are you married? I'm married. Do you have any children? We don't yet. Okay. If you do choose to have them, you will notice that your wife will wake up exactly two seconds before your baby cries at night and you will be passed out. You won't. But if you hear a door unlock, you'll be the first person to wake up. That's a proven, researched fact of the difference between men and women. Women are smarter than men. So, that was it. You had tunnel vision. A woman had to take care of the child, cook the food. They have to do everything at the same time and men can't, we can't comprehend that. So, as far as the father is concerned, now in reference to our film, I'm doing a great job. But we never see it from the other perspective. But from a man's perspective, poor chap, he doesn't know any better. It's not his fault. He doesn't know better. Right. This is another aspect of parenting in general that touched me in the film. This is one. This is definitely one of the big themes there. Another is that when we are growing up, we always think we are the coolest and the modernist version of ourselves or our generation probably. Till you meet your children. Yeah, till you meet your children and then you see how conservative you could be. Probably when he went to the US and stuff, he thought, okay, I'm pretty modern out there. I'm a marketing whiz and all of that. So rightly said. Right. His relationship is broken up. All of that. But then later you see that when his daughter's around with somebody, you capture that. Do you guys feel that as parents? I'm pretty sure I'm super liberal, super illuminated in my world view. I'm always scared to have that conversation with that future child who will show me. When their choices come across and they'll be much more refined from the present generation, then I'll probably see okay. That generation gap has been coming from ages. That generation gap is always there. We think that generation doesn't understand. I have reconciled to the fact that this generation is really intelligent. There's no doubt about it. That I've reconciled. As a guardian and as a parent, you know certain milestones. You've also been that age. Everything is a learning. Everything is a life lesson from your own life lesson. I have two daughters. How they are growing and how they are treating me now, then I understand the things that I've done wrong. So I'm doing my course correction wrong. It's not easy. It takes 20, 30 years to do those course corrections. It's not that tomorrow I'll correct it, but then I'll do some other mistake. So it takes years of a journey to correct the mistake. something that Arjuna's daughter used to always say, and then Dada used to say it to me, and actually it's so true. We don't bring up children, they bring us up. Children make you realize. Parents don't have all the answers. We're also learning along the way. You're going to have a lot of people that give you inputs and suggestions and guidance. It's your first time. You're going to have to figure that out yourself. What's comfortable to you, what's not. That's more because you're the caregiver, the protector, the provider. So it comes from there. You might have a great world view, but at the end of the day when you're responsible for that little thing, things change. It's not like with generation on generation people get more not so particular about certain things. Like I said, we've all been that age. The children will very easily put you in your place and make you realize. We're learning along the way. There's no handbook to parenting in that way. You have to figure out your own thing. And I think that's the beautiful thing between the relationship between Rhea and Arjun. They're kind of figuring it out. Even at the end when they do reconcile to the emotionality of it all, they're still trying to figure it out. That's life. And it's great. It's great. And a lot of the time your children end up teaching you. Children end up inspiring you. He doesn't like to say it. He's shy. You talked about the music. His daughter's done the BGM of the film. See what I'm saying? And big shoes to fill. There you go. I have another part of the film I want to discuss. Whenever we see dramas about terminal illness or something like that, there are crude comedies. I'm not saying there are comedies which are wacky and out there about terminal illness. That's one zone. Other is the sappy, emotional, over sympathetic kind of a film where emotions are wrenched out of you. I like the complex balance that I want to talk hits where this guy is extremely sympathetic in the sense that what happened to him, of course, but at the same time his mind is doing things. He has anger, he has weaknesses that you tap into in your performance. Tell me about that. I remember when you did Man Marziya, your character was an investment banker. I remember you talking about a scene where you said how would an investment banker think in a particular relationship situation. He's also acting like a marketeer often times trying to sell people on their own ideas. Talk to him, you have 100 days and now deal with it. Then came the fun of playing with him saying, Arjun da has the gift of the gab. He can talk himself out of any situation but in this film he's going to talk himself into every situation. How do I convince the doctor to give me the surgery because I think this is what I need. He brought that in beautifully and wrote it so nicely that everything he'd lace it with a certain attitude of what this guy who's known to be able to sell anything There's that dialogue. Marketing is bullshit and I'm the best at it. He applies that in life. The way he convinces the doctor for the BiMAX surgery, the way he's convincing Rhea that I wasn't following you and I'm here, I have my duty to protect you. Next you're going to think you're pregnant. Are you? It was so much fun because you knew every serious situation had an Arjunism to it which was going to come out at the end of it. At the end when he's going, he says don't worry Rhea, I'm not going to die and remember I don't feel pain. Okay, this is my condition, I don't feel pain. The FBI should have employed him. He's wonderful at doing that. It's great fun. We decided even between me and Ritesh and also when me and Abhishek also started discussing about the film, we decided that we're not going to underline it. We're going to play a joke on every situation because he is a character like that. I can't explain why he is like that. On the set also when he used to come, he will crack a joke. He said the most brilliant line which when you finally hear it properly, it's a very intense line but he did it so beautifully and he did it so nicely keeping his attitude. We were speaking to one day and he was talking about cancer. He said cancer and I are in a marriage together. It's not a very happy marriage but we're in a marriage. I'm married to cancer. I said what does that mean? He said it only ends when death do us apart. It's such a deep, intense thing but it's just his way of speaking and just trust him to come up with something like that. Beautiful. I think this was beautiful. And even one of the dialogues at the end of the film that Rhea says is such an Arjuna way of speaking. He's like you know I'm in a chess game and this is a brief to me. This movie is a chess game between death and Arjuna and he says you know the thing is death has to win just once but the final score will always be Arjuna 99, death one so I'm going to win. I just love that because you're talking about something very intense and profound but you're like hey wait yeah it's not that bad I still win 99 times you know that's what I loved about it. Should we excuse the personal observation your father passed away to cancer isn't it? Yes. And my mother passed away because of a stroke. Did those feelings come up when you were directing? Of course. Everything comes up because I have so my life has been around and wrapped around with medical science so in all different films whether it's a hospital how they deal with it whether it's non-hospital whether it's a patient you will see there is a kind of realism that I want to life science attracts me life science attracts me death attracts me to deal with it and all my films you will see glimpses of it. I celebrate death so for me I am not worried about it I am fear free about it so those things because I have seen very closely and when I was young 20 years back so I have seen that I have spent so many days in hospital so it becomes and you learn from that and then whatever comes from when this subject I was talking to Arjun and I thought ok this is again medical science of course some people told me you are doing a film again on medical science I said yes I am I am because I am not finished yet I have to talk few things which I feel about medical science that I must talk and make people and inspire people from a character rather than make them fearful this is a very revealing line someone says very casually who by the way when I first saw in the trailer I was for a second like is that senior AB because of his goatee and I said ok this is Jayan Kriplani he says that Arjun manipulates his own body can you take me through the thought of that line it really stuck me while I was watching it see if you see this entire journey of Arjun's character and what AB is there is a lot of similarity between Arjun and AB let me tell you also AB also can really bully you at some time but I think isn't this a fascinating thing that you know you manipulate your own body that means what you are conquering it you are facing it you are not no more in a denial mode you are saying ok fine boss you are hitting my body come on let's see what you can do and he is playing a game with his body so I think that's more inspiring and courageous to do I feel don't you think so absolutely I think that also harks back to what you were saying about the marketing guy that he is his will being a parent like I said your children give you great inspiration for a father to commit to his daughter despite him having the ailments that he does that I'm going to dance at your wedding that's all it takes and I really do hope man that one day you experience that personally because that is something else that you climb mountains on one leg if you have to for your child and that forces him almost to manipulate every situation so Arjuna wasn't just doing it because that's the kind of guy he is and that is a large part of it but it's also just the tenacity and like he says I'm persistent that no I got to dance at my daughter's wedding you know a man will do and I said this we were both on KBC with dad and I said it and I'd love to be able to say it here and I'm saying this with profound respect for mothers and women because what they do nobody can but a father does it all like I said a because he doesn't know how to express it he doesn't know how to demonstrate it it's a huge flaw men have but all our fathers we are silently you just quietly do what you do and I think with age do children realize how solid their fathers have also been because they're always just there they may be in the background but they were always there and I've always said this like growing up there would be weeks where I wouldn't see my father and he sleeps in the room right next to me and the bedroom door between my and my sister's room and the master bedroom was always left open he would come home after we had gone to bed because he was working double triple shifts and he'd leave before we woke up to go to school so we're sleeping like 10 feet apart but we wouldn't see him for weeks I can never recall one annual day one stage performance one basketball I was in the basketball team one basketball final that my father wasn't there for at the end of the day he's there when I needed him the most he was there I remember one I was in school I was 15 years old I had just made it to the senior basketball team which was the ultimate show off and we had gone through this one local school tournament first time the school had reached the finals and while we were practicing for the finals I broke my leg I was devastated because the ultimate thing and as a gesture the basketball team said no you have to come you sit on the bench you're on crutches but you sit on the bench because you're part of the team and it was wonderful they were brilliant and I was sitting there and I was so upset and I was getting very emotional because I wanted to be on that this is what I had worked for and suddenly I hear a very familiar voice and I looked into the crowd where our school used to travel and cheer and my father was there cheering so I called him like two days later I broke my leg and I'm very upset and he said my kid is upset he dropped his shooting everything and he flew to Switzerland where I was studying and he was there now at that point of time I was like oh cool he's there but today when I think of it he silently did it so men our problem is we don't have that expression yeah we don't know how to do it and if we can do it through moments like this then you know it's it's near the end of the film Rhea your flight transits through Dubai you have to change and there's a train you have to take the train you reach and you go to Kolkata and I've organized a driver Bapida it's such a dad thing to do he even knows the name of the driver Bapida and she just hugs him and that moment for me is the most magical moment apart from the culmination of the relationship but it's such a dad thing that you know and she says it even if it has to be on the phone for hours to get me upgraded he just does it we don't give them that credit and I think it's so nice that in his own way you know Rhea does it in the film Abhishek you had mentioned years ago that you would put up negative reviews on to your bathroom is that habit still there and I have a follow up question this is a little facetious but answer this first and then I have another question is that habit still there to put up criticism there's not much room left to put up new ones but I save the I don't look upon them as negative I look upon them as somebody the way I look at it is here's somebody telling me what I need to improve and guiding me how to improve that's the way I look at it for me it's an exercise of okay this is what I need to do the next time around given a chance to improve myself so yes I still do I take it all very seriously that's wonderful the reason I also ask this is that are you able to filter let's say press that's genuine that is there for cinema that writes on movies reviews movies Rangan sir will be here after me because he's a veteran of my field reviewing criticism and stuff like that and the kind of press that is more exploitative and that's there for celebrity are you able to filter that in your head of course it's very obvious right there's a reason you're sitting here and somebody else isn't we're here I think we've had a wonderful conversation about the craft lovely conversation about themes and that's what we should be doing it's heartbreaking to me you know that the conversation currently about cinema is box office that's an integral part of it we're a commercial art but that's our business not the audience I grew up watching cinema saying I like the film or I didn't like the film nothing else matters I didn't get into the editing and I get why people have these discussions but movies have to be did it touch you did you get poetic justice at the end of the film we're talking about everything else apart from what we should be talking about so it's very easy to filter out the white noise it's your choice you can pay attention to it I choose not to I notice all of it I read all of it because I like to be informed of what's going on around me but what you want to react to what you want to respond to what you want to absorb is up to you and with each passing day it becomes that much easier to differentiate the two and like I said there's a very strong reason why we're sitting here talking to you and not somebody else who's going to be asking me it's immaterial what's important is what was he feeling what was I feeling why did you do this what was his theme I can't tell you how happy my heart is right now because we're finally getting back to discussing what really matters so thank you thank you so much thank you