SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE | 10 Mindsets I've decluttered for a simpler & happier life

Have you ever heard of neuroplasticity? This means that changing the way we think can actually change the structure of our brain. So basically, when you change how you think, you change how you feel. I've been learning about this and I think it's so fascinating. And I do recognize that yes, sometimes life can be stressful, but sometimes my biggest source of stress is actually my own head and my own thinking. And with how our brain works, if we practice thinking positive thoughts and changing our mindsets, then it'll be a little bit easier next time to think up these positive thoughts. Because our brain is changing, and I think that's pretty cool. So I've been thinking about my own mindsets and how minimalism and simplifying my life has helped me to change the way I think about certain things. So in today's video, I want to share with you 10 unhelpful mindsets that I have decluttered for a happier and simpler life. And some of these have been quite easy and natural to change and let go of, while others are definitely still a work in progress. But they've all been very helpful for me to change and let go and declutter from my own head. So let's talk about it. Before we begin, I quickly want to thank Skillshare for being the sponsor for today's video. Skillshare is an online learning platform where you can take classes about basically anything. And I've been taking their classes for years now. I've learned about making videos for my channel, I've taken classes on digital design, digital illustrations, writing website copy, but also plant care, journaling, self-care, creativity, and so much more. They also have many classes on things like making your own clothing, gardening, crafting, playing instruments, but also editing, coding, e-commerce, all ranging from beginner to advanced. And I love that these are all taught by people who are experts in their field. 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So you can try as many classes as you want for a whole month, to see how you like it. Huge thank you to Skillshare for sponsoring today's video and supporting the channel. And let's begin with the video. Let me just take off my socks, because I'm kind of hot in this sweater. I haven't talked that much today yet, and my voice is, I don't know, it's not really woken up yet. So the first mindset I want to talk about today that I decluttered, is this idea that I'm only as good as my output. And with that come thoughts like productivity, needing to be like on every day, all year round, always needing to be able to produce and do things and be productive. So this is kind of how I used to think about myself, and I think a large part of this was subconsciously. I didn't really believe that a person is only as good as their output, and that their self-worth is determined by how productive they are. But when you really get down to it, when you really think about, you know, how I thought about myself and how I pushed myself, this really was the underlying thought. And I think a lot of this has to do with just the society that we live in. But I've also just always kind of been like an overachiever, someone who was always striving to get really good grades, and impress the teachers, and impress my parents, and you know do everything right, and do everything well. And if you believe this too much, then it can start to feel like on a day where you're just really having an off day, and you can't be productive. That if I took it easy, then that was a lost day, or that I wasn't good enough. Or in my case, more often than not, I would just drink more coffee, push myself, do the thing, no matter how I was feeling. No, my self-worth is not tied to my productivity. And no one's is. We are not machines, we are human beings. We're allowed to have off days, we are allowed to have off weeks, off months, off years. If that's, you know, what it takes, if that's going on, that's fine. We all have struggles, we all have challenges, we are not perfect, things happen, we deal with stuff. So many things can happen to where someone is just not as productive as they normally are, or just don't have that much output. So I now do realize full well that I am a person, and I am worthwhile even if I do absolutely nothing. If I sit on my butt all day and do absolutely nothing, I still have that same worth as I have when I am being productive, or when I am doing things. So if you ever feel guilty for not being productive, or for being lazy, which is actually a word I don't believe in, then please take it to heart that you are not your output, you are not your productivity, you are you. And you have value and worth even if you do nothing at all. The second mindset that I decluttered and minimalism was a really big one here, is that I need to have a lot of options. So for me this was with a lot of things, for example clothing, shoes, purses, but also things like makeup. I had eight different colors, lipsticks, I had probably 30 different colors, nail polishes, jewelry, just having the need to always have a lot of options to choose from. Minimalism made me see that if you want to have a lot of options, you're gonna have a lot of stuff. That's just the reality of it. And the downside to that is that the more stuff you have, the more complicated things will be. And the more complicated your life will get. It will be harder to keep everything organized and clean. You may lose things. And then there is decision fatigue, where you don't know what to wear because you have all of these clothing items, and none of them really speak to you. So you feel like you need to go out shopping and buy some more. I've been there, I've done that. And it has been so nice to now have fewer options. It's nice on my brain, no more decision fatigue, it's nice for my home, no more clutter, it's nice for my wallet, no more impulse purchases. So really in most cases I now really think that having fewer options is preferable to having many many options. And a large part of it also comes from always wanting to be prepared. And that is where decluttering has really helped me personally. Because I've let go of so many things, and in the beginning that was really scary. Because I felt like, yeah, but what if I might need this kind of particular thing one day? What if I need a brown fake leather bag and I only have a black fake leather bag, you know? But if you declutter more and more, you start to see that I haven't needed any of the things that I let go of. There wasn't any specific occasion that I needed something really specific, and I couldn't just use something else that I already had. So this feeling of always wanting to be prepared for any kind of situation, but it really doesn't have to. You can just let go, because you can trust that when a situation occurs, you will have something to deal with it. Or you may be able to borrow it, or worst case scenario, buy it if you need to. I've never had to. So this realization that we don't need a lot of options, and we don't need to be prepared for every possible scenario, really helped to simplify my life and also my mental load. Number three is a really big one. The mindset that I need others and everyone to like and accept me. I think one of the things that just naturally helps with this is growing older. I think as we grow older, I'm now 36, you just start to care less. I am now in my area of, I just don't really care anymore if someone doesn't like me. And it is very freeing. So I think it has to do in part with just age. And I also think that minimalism and simplifying have helped me with this as well. Because when you start to get rid of all the excess and all the noise, you start to kind of strip down your life to what you really find value in, what you really find important. And you get to know yourself better in that process. And if you get to know yourself better, you know who you are, what you find important, and you start to see like, yeah, I actually kind of like who I am. Someone else doesn't, then yeah, that's fine. And something else I heard recently, and I don't remember who said this, but she said it's okay to be the villain in someone else's story. And that struck a chord with me. If you have maybe like a falling out with someone, and something happened, and you kind of feel like you are not the bad guy in that story, but the way that they experience it, or maybe even tell people the story, you come off as the bad guy. And that's always been a little bit hard for me to like be like, no, but that's not what happened. But really, it's okay, you know what happened. And if someone else has a different way of thinking about that, like we all have our own right to experience how we experience things. And if that's how they experienced it, like yeah, it's sad, and it's tough, but it's also okay. Number four, I don't have to have the same body as I did when I was 20. Here's a quick trigger warning. This one is about body image. If you don't want to hear this, that is perfectly fine. You can skip over to the next chapter. I always use chapters, or this timestamp right here to number five. So I am now 36. And guess what? Your body changes. Your body changes when you hit 30. And in my experience, my body is also changing now. So like ever since I hit 35. And it is not the same as back when I was 20. And in my early 30s, I don't really know if I can say that this bothered me actively, but sometimes it did. And it just dawned on me like, hey, I'm actually quite a bit older now. And it makes sense that my body is different, because things change naturally when you age. I do need to be more mindful now of what I'm eating, and how much exercise and movement I'm getting, to keep my weight stable than when I was 20. When I could basically eat anything, it was very easy for me to keep my weight stable. And now it is something that I have to really think about a lot more. And the funny thing is that even though my weight has changed, and my body has changed ever since I was like 20, I now feel so much more confident in my body. And in my like everything basically. Back when I was 20, I was actually really insecure. So while I do try to care for my body by eating a lot of healthy things, and getting good exercise, which is for me actually more like a mental health thing more so than a physical health thing. But you know, it does both. I ask myself with anything that I do, is this something that I would want to keep up for the rest of my life? And if the answer is no, then I'm not going to do it. It's a whole different approach when you care for your body, than when you're working on your body. Because it's not good enough the way that it is now. You're basically doing the same things, or roughly the same things, but it comes from such a healthier place. And that's where I'm at right now. I can honestly say that I have let go of this mindset that my body needs to say the same for the rest of my life. Because it is so unrealistic and so unnecessary. Number five of the mindsets that I let go and declutter, is that I need a large social circle in order not to be lonely. I've always been someone who really treasures deep connections with people. And people that have been in my life for a very long time. Most of my friends now I have known for many many years, sometimes more than 20 years. And that is something that I greatly greatly value and appreciate. But I've never had a large social circle. And all the people that I do know, also don't really know each other. So I don't have that friend group where you know, you go out with a friend group, or you go on vacation with a friend group. Things like that I've never really had. I've always had one-on-one connections. And that's basically how my life is. I also don't have a very large family. And most of my family I'm not really in touch with, at least not actively. If I was to give a party, it's not like I could invite 30 or 40 or 50 people. Because I don't know that many people. And that used to always make me a little bit insecure. And it made me feel a little bit lonely. Because you see these things on tv and you're like, oh my life isn't really like that. And this is a mindset that I purposefully decluttered and decided, you know what, this isn't true. This isn't true. I am blessed with lots of deep great connections in my life. And I am so grateful for it. And I'm not alone or lonely at all. It's just that my social circle isn't necessarily very wide, but it is very deep. If you know what I mean. And that is so meaningful to me. And it's funny because I used to be that kind of person who, when I for example left a job, I would keep my old colleagues numbers in my phone for years. Because that way, the list of numbers and the people in your phone is not very short. Because you're keeping all of those numbers for a very long time, even if you're not really in touch with those people anymore. And after a while I was like, no, these people have been in my phone for three years, we haven't talked for three years, like I'm taking all of them out. I'm fine with a short list of people in my phone, if those people are actually a part of my life. And actually like love and care for these people. It's funny how it comes out in little ways like that. All right, this next one is also a really big one. And I have to honestly admit, this is a work in progress for me still. And it is the scarcity mindset. For me, this goes with a little bit of anxiety around money, but also I really like to apply this with the concept of time. So the scarcity mindset is one where you really focus on the feeling of lack, or this worry or anxiety that there won't be enough. And the opposite of the scarcity mindset is the abundance mindset, where you really believe that things like money and time are always available, and you won't ever like run out, or well obviously you will run out of time someday. But you know what I mean, like there's an abundance. And it's not really focused on this fear and anxiety, but rather it focuses on this feeling of trusting and having faith that things will work out. Back when I was young, I had an older brother, older sister, and we had our parents. And my parents both worked a lot, and they had to work really hard to make ends meet. So we always had food to eat and stuff, like they really they worked very hard to make sure that we had everything that we needed. But there was a lot of stress around money when I was growing up in my family. And I remember even as a kid always worrying about if I wanted something, like can I ask for this? Probably maybe not, because you know I was worried for our finances when I was even a little kid. And I think that in part at least played a role in for me just kind of always feeling a little bit scared about maybe not having money for like my retirement or emergencies. What really helped for me is focusing a lot on gratitude and on letting go of control and having faith that everything will work out. Just being like hey there is enough, things will work out, and really repeating that to yourself a lot. It has completely changed how I think about these things, and I have a lot less anxiety about this now. And what I am trying to do now with this scarcity versus abundance mindset, is view my time like that as well. So even if I have a lot to do in a day, instead of being like I have no time, I have no time, I have all these things to do, I just tell myself I have all the time in the world, I have all the time today. And it just feels so much better. It just feels so much better. You're always rushing because you feel like you don't have enough time to do everything. And like I have all the time in the world, things will take as long as they will take, and it will all be fine. And it's a much better way of thinking about it in my opinion. Number seven is the mindset that my house always needs to be perfectly clean. I would say this also has to do with being a little bit of a control freak, wanting your environment to always be perfect. Again, a lot of this had to do, for me anyway, with letting go. And in this case, embracing imperfection and not striving for keeping your house perfectly clean all the time. Because I've learned that if you want your house to always be perfectly clean, then you can basically never stop cleaning. Because as soon as you dust something, like the next day there will be dust there again. That's just how cleaning goes unfortunately. So you know, it is so hard to keep your house perfectly clean. There's always going to be something that needs doing. And one quote that I really like is, my house needs to be clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. And I do really notice that I feel better when my house is clean and tidy. Like our house is actually never messy. That's not me bragging, it's just that we don't have enough stuff for this to get messy. We just don't have any stuff to mess it up. And we don't have kids, and we don't have pets, so that makes it a lot easier. We really don't have mess ever. But obviously, things need cleaning. The floors, the bathroom, you know, everything. And sometimes, you know, it takes us a little bit longer to get to something than I would ideally like. And that used to bug me a lot, especially when we first moved into this place. It really sparked my whole need for perfection and control again, because we now own this apartment. And it made me like extremely anxious to keep it perfect, perfect, perfect. And now I relax into it a lot more again, where I'm like no, it doesn't have to be perfect. It is completely fine if something needs cleaning, and you just don't have time, and you're gonna do it next weekend. You know, that's so fine. And it really has made my life a lot more relaxed. Number eight is the mindset that if I start something, I have to get really good at it. So I think, you know, when you look at this list, it probably gives you an idea of the sort of person that I used to be, and that I guess that maybe I still am a little bit in my core. I've had this approach with many many things, and it keeps you from trying something. Because I subconsciously was thinking like, if I start this new hobby, if I explore this new interest, I need to stick with it, I need to get good at it, I need to see improvements, I need to have this skill be a skill for the rest of my life, I can't ever give it up. And obviously that keeps you from trying new things. And how I go about this now is, I love half-assing things. With interests, hobbies, skills, I love half-assing it. I learn a bit, I forget sometimes, maybe I learn a bit more, maybe not, maybe I get pretty good at it, maybe not. But the point is that I don't expect myself to get really good at it, I don't expect myself to stick with it necessarily. And of course there is value in, I'm just scratching my foot because I have itch, there is value in sticking with things and showing tenacity and persistence and things. But I already do that with things in my life, for example with my work. So I don't expect myself to do that with everything. If I start something like Spanish, I'm getting like, well good, no, I'm not getting really good at it yet, but I'm getting better. But it's because I'm half-assing it. I'm just allowing myself to have fun, explore, see what happens. And it is really nice. If you're like a little bit of a perfectionist, overachiever person like me, just try half-assing something. It's really nice and it's very freeing. And if you really enjoy something and it really fits you, then you will see that you will stick with it naturally, because you enjoy it. And you will get better at it naturally, because you enjoy it and it fits you. And that is perfectly fine. And if something's like, yeah this was fun for a while, but you know I've moved on to other things, that's perfectly fine too. Number nine kind of relates to this, and that is that I always need to see improvements in my fitness. Nowadays I work out for one reason, and one reason only. It is that I enjoy it. And it gives me new energy, it allows me to get rid of stagnant energy, build up frustrations, stress. It allows me to get the juices flowing, inspiration. When I'm just, you know, sitting on the couch feeling really low, exercising helps me to get back in there. It helps me to feel good. That's why I exercise. And maybe it's not like my natural talent. I think I can safely say that it's not. That doesn't mean that I can't enjoy it. For example, let's take yoga. When I first started doing yoga, I was very inflexible in my muscles, and I felt like I needed to improve in able to do the harder poses that I couldn't do in the beginning. And when that improvement didn't really come, or it came but it was extremely slow, I got very frustrated with myself. It's like, I still cannot do crow pose, and I still cannot do a split or something. Honestly, I still can't even reach my toes if I stretch my legs completely. And that used to bug me, but now I really find that as long as I enjoy it, and as long as I try my best, it is perfectly fine. And with my fitness, I don't know if you can relate to this, but it's never in a straight line. There's not a linear progression. It's very much in ebbs and flows. And sometimes there's progress, and sometimes there's actually like, what's the opposite of progress? Regression. Where you like find that, oh actually I was able to do this better last year. It's because you haven't done that particular thing in a while, and now you need to kind of get it up and running again from the ground. And so there's always this ebb and flow. And I've learned to just be completely okay with that. And number 10 of the mindsets that I let go, is that my needs don't matter so much. And I would be lying if I said that this is a mindset that I completely decluttered. Because this is 100% a work in progress. But for me, it is all about trying to find the balance there. So what I used to think is that, you know, I could just ignore my needs altogether, and all that mattered was what I got done in life. I don't believe that anymore. But now the challenge for me is just in finding a balance between the things that I find important and therefore want to do, like my job, and taking care of my needs. Having enough rest, enough exercise, enough walks, enough social stuff. All the things that I need to be happy and healthy. And that is difficult. Sometimes I have deadlines, and I don't feel good, and I still push myself to get those deadlines. To get the video done in time, or whatever it is. But I don't necessarily think that that's a bad thing, as long as you are mindful of these things. So now I'm much more mindful of what I'm doing to myself. How hard I'm pushing myself, when to push, when not to push. When to just say, you know what, there's not going to be a video this week. I can't do it. I need I need something else. And when to be like, okay, I notice I'm feeling a little tired, but if I get this done today, it will help my week or something. There's always a balance. Know where your needs are. What is important for you to feel good? What lifts you up when you're feeling down? What helps you to calm down when you're feeling anxious? What helps you to find rest when you need to recharge your batteries? That is important, because if you don't fill your cup, your cup will get empty. And you can't pour from an empty cup. Even though sometimes I do push myself a little bit. It comes from a place of excitement for my work, for example. It doesn't come from a place of not caring about my own needs, or feeling like they don't matter, or I shouldn't prioritize them. It comes from a much more positive place. And I think that's a good thing. If you're wearing a mic, it helps when you put it on. All right, so we've come to the end of this video. Thank you so much for sticking around all the way till the end, I really appreciate it. And I would love to know from you, is there any one mindset that you have decluttered that really helped you to improve your life? Or that you're actively working on decluttering right now? Maybe we can share some tips with each other in the comments, so I would love to hear that. I'm going to have a little snack and a lovely cup of tea, and then I'm going to film my video for patreon this week. So if you would like to have access to more videos from me, and you want to support the channel while doing so, then feel free to check out patreon. It is a really nice community and you can join for five dollars a month. Of course you can also cancel again anytime, and you will get access to all the videos that are already up on there. Which I think is about like 115, 117, something like that. Plus two videos, new ones every month. And this is a great way to support the channel too, because this income from patreon helps me to, yeah, keep doing this as my job. So patreon.com slash simple happy zen if you want to sign up. And also don't forget to check out skillshare if you want to get one month free trial. Link in the description box. And as always, questions comments conversations down below. Have a wonderful wonderful day, and I will see you all again really soon. Bye bye. So I've been really good at taking care of my bonsai tree lately, and it is thriving. So who knew, all it needs is like get water once a week to get better. I wasn't really taking good care of it for a while there. But I've gotten a lot better, it is thriving, and I'm so happy with my little bonsai tree.