10 Normal Things I Quit to Simplify My Life Live Happier

We live in a world that makes it very easy to overcomplicate life. And I think that there are many things that we do, not because they actually improve our lives or make us any happier, but because they are the normal thing to do. Overthinking, always being available, consuming things that don't bring us any lasting joy, ignoring your own boundaries just to seem polite. Since simplifying my life, I also started questioning some of these habits more and more. And by questioning them, my life became noticeably lighter and freer. And I realized I can actually stop doing these things. So today I want to talk about 10 completely normal habits that I've kind of quit, that have genuinely made my life a lot calmer, simpler and happier. And this video is also sponsored by my favorite tea company in the world, Ikkyu tea. And I'll tell you more about them later. For now, feel free to join me, grab yourself something nice to drink. I have some iced green tea here, because it's hot today. So feel free to grab yourself something nice and let's talk about it. Number one is believing every thought that pops into my head. Our brains are wonderful organs that can do many amazing things, but they can also be really weird at times. Because they can come up with some thoughts that are just strange, unhelpful or completely untrue. And while we cannot control that initial thought that our brain comes up with, we can learn to not believe in these thoughts automatically. And when I started doing that, my life definitely improved quite a bit. Our brain produces thousands of thoughts every day, and oftentimes they might go by unaware, or they're kind of just like noise. Psychologically, thoughts are just basically interpretations that your brain generates based on existing brain patterns, memory, emotion, habit. And a lot of what we experience as thinking is actually just automatic processing. It is our brain trying to make sense of the world. And so our thoughts do not always reflect reality. And something interesting is that your brain also gets better at thinking in certain patterns that it repeats often. So if you often have anxious thoughts, self-critical thoughts, pessimistic thoughts, then it will be more likely that your brain will come up with similar thoughts in the future. And that's not because those thoughts are actually true, it's because that pattern, that thinking pattern, is familiar. And that's where this started hitting home for me. That I don't have to stop my thoughts, I just have to stop believing in them automatically. So instead of getting pulled into every different thought that my brain comes up with, I started doing one simple thing, which is noticing. For example, instead of thinking I'm not doing enough, and then believing in that, I started thinking I'm having a thought that I'm not doing enough. So I'm noticing the thought rather than living it. We can't control the initial thought, but we can control how we interact with it, how seriously we want to take it. So that little pause changes everything. Instead of thinking I always mess everything up, we can think I'm noticing I'm having an insecure thought. Or I made a fool of myself in that conversation, we can think I'm noticing I'm having a socially anxious thought. And once you get a little bit of space between you and the thought, then you can choose what you want to do with them. And once I started doing that, my life definitely became a lot simpler and a lot happier. So many times I'm thinking things, and then I'm noticing what I'm thinking, and I'm like okay. And then I move on with my day. Number two is finishing a book or tv show that is negatively impacting my mental health. I see the content that we consume kind of as food for our brain. And while there is definitely room in a healthy diet for a little bit of junk food here and there, I have become much more mindful recently of how the books I'm reading and the things I'm watching are affecting my mental health. Recently I started reading a fantasy book that is highly regarded as this really great book, but I noticed about 100 pages in how dark it was. It was so grim, I was feeling so drained by it. And I really noticed that effect, so I decided to put it away. As much as I like to finish the books that I started reading, it's not worth me sacrificing my mental health over. And fantasy books often tend to be a little bit dark, which I'm usually fine with. But when it starts to actually cross that line and affect me, I now don't feel any obligation anymore to finish what I started. And I also started thinking about the shows I watch, and how much time they actually take. Because I nowadays find very few of them to be actually worth my time. For example, in 2024 we watched The Sopranos. And The Sopranos is an amazing show. Great actors, great writing, just a really good show from start to finish. But number one, man that show was upsetting at times. I could only watch one episode at a time, because it got really heavy, and it was so violent, and it was so upsetting. And I can still remember three scenes in particular that actually kind of traumatized me. And it was just not great for my mood for the rest of the evening. And two, man that show is long. It takes 86 hours to watch all the way. And I remember afterwards thinking, yes this was a great show, but I don't think that it really actually was worth my time in the end. There are many things that I would rather do with those 86 hours. And the thing is, there are so many shows now, and it is really normal to watch all of the new shows, the popular shows. It's like the default way to spend our evening. And if you enjoy that, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that of course. But I do find that after finishing The Sopranos, I haven't watched a single long tv show anymore. And I really enjoyed it, because it helps me to reclaim a lot of my time. Number three is shopping. My life changed dramatically once I stopped shopping. It's been years now, and I've never really missed it. To be clear, I still buy things sometimes, even as a minimalist. And it's not always things that I actually need. Sometimes it's just things that I really want. And I think that's completely fine. But the difference is that I now buy things more intentionally on like one-off occasions. So I will notice within my life that there is something that I would like to own for whatever reason. And I'll think about it for a while, I'll do my research, and then after a while I might decide to buy it. Instead of going shopping for the sake of shopping. So just going to the stores, or browsing online to just see what they have with no plan in mind. And then buying a few things that we happen to come across. And honestly, I don't miss any of that. I don't miss wandering around the stores looking for clothes that I don't need, or looking for new beauty products, or little home items, or anything like that. Because the truth is that it never really ends. There's only so much stuff that we need. And many of us already have enough clothes, enough beauty products, enough home items, enough stuff in general. I know I have. But despite that, people are used to just keep shopping and buying and adding to their stuff. Because that is what is considered normal. But when you really think about it, it's often just the same kind of stuff that we already have in maybe like another color, or a new collection, or slightly different marketing. Once I quit shopping for random things, my life simplified so much. I am saving so much time and energy, I'm saving money, I'm saving space in my home, and I've truly never felt like I'm missing out on anything. But as I always say, and that goes for this video too, if some of the things I'm mentioning are different for you, or actually really enjoy that, that is great too. This is just my personal experience. So as always, take from this video what you can use and leave the rest. Number four is letting other people decide my boundaries. I have been in so many situations where I let people cross my boundaries because I didn't want to make things awkward. And once I realized that I don't have to do that, and that it is okay to make things a little awkward if need be, then my life definitely became a lot simpler. For example, when a stranger corners you with an hour of just talking at you without really considering your time or your energy, and then you're just listening politely, but after a while it's just this person wasting an hour of your time without even thinking or considering the idea that you might have other things to do. I have learned to spot that, and to just be like okay I have to go now, and if that makes it a little awkward, that's fine. Same thing with people trying to sell you stuff on the phone, or on the street, or when they come to your house. Before, I would just politely let them finish their whole pitch because I didn't want to interrupt them. And now I'm just, I interrupt them, I immediately say no thank you, and I close the conversation. Or with personal space and physical contact, that is a really big one for me as well. I don't know what that is like where you live, but here in the Netherlands it's common to, you know, give someone a handshake if you meet them, or give them three kisses if it's a family gathering for example. And for me, if I'm close with someone then I'm completely fine with that. But if I'm not, then this makes me feel so uncomfortable. And I used to do it anyway, just kind of like not make waves. But now I have learned if I don't want to do that with someone, and I can kind of see them leaning in for like the three kisses, I kind of just lean back and say you know what, I'll stick with a handshake for now. And yes, that makes it super awkward sometimes. But the way I now see it, is why should I have to feel awkward or embarrassed about setting my personal space when it comes to like physical space and like touch. And at least if it's super awkward, then that person will remember and not try again next time. And of course we don't have to be a jerk about it, we can still be nice and polite. But part of simplifying life is also for me realizing that it is okay to protect my time, my energy, my personal space. Even if that creates an uncomfortable moment. Because that is still much better than again and again and again letting other people cross your boundary, because you're trying to be polite. Number five is be on my phone for the first hour of the day. One of the best things I did for my mental health was quitting the habit of grabbing my phone immediately after waking up. And for myself, deciding when I want to be on my phone, and when I want to just be. Having your phone be the first thing you see after waking up is very normal nowadays, and I think it is quite unhelpful. Research suggests that the first hour after waking up is an important transition period for the brain and the nervous system. And many experts believe that immediately flooding your brain with notifications, social media, information, can increase stress, overstimulation and reactivity throughout the day. So instead of starting our day feeling grounded and calm and intentional, and just kind of slowly waking up, rebooting our system for the day, we are much more likely to start our day feeling stressed, or anxious, or rushed. I definitely notice a big difference when I do get on my phone after waking up. Sometimes if I have posted a video the day before, I wake up and I'm just really curious, like how the video did while I was asleep, and reading the comments that came in in the meantime. And I really try to resist the urge to grab my phone and check on how the video is doing for at least an hour. Giving yourself the opportunity to have a slower and gentler morning is really one of the most underrated forms of self-care, if you ask me. Because how we start our day really has a huge impact on how we feel the rest of the day. One of the things that is an important part of my morning routine now, is drinking green tea instead of coffee. So I still get that like gentle boost of energy and focus, but in a more relaxed way. And it's also just super delicious and healthy too. So this is the perfect time to tell you about today's sponsor, which is Ikkyu tea. I often get questions from people where I get my green tea from, and this is where I get it. Ikkyu is my number one absolute favorite green tea company in the world. I've ordered from them for years. They are a small team located in southern Japan, and they work with local producers to help them keep the Japanese tea tradition alive. The green teas from Ikkyu are the highest quality that I've ever come across. They are so flavorful, they have a beautiful green color, and they are full of healthy antioxidants. And right now is the perfect time to try them, because it is shinsha season. And shinsha means new tea, or like first flush. So right now the teas are even more flavorful and healthy. A few of my personal favorites are yukari. This is a hand-picked sencha. Sencha means green tea, that has actually won awards. Very rich in flavor, fresh, fragrant, I love this one. I also love kazuya. This is an organic sencha from Saga prefecture, which is the birthplace of Japanese green tea. And it has the perfect balance between sweetness and bitterness. Nice full-bodied flavor. And another one of my favorites is isami. This is a really yummy sweet green tea without any bitterness. And because of its high theanine content, this one is extra relaxing to drink also. And I love this one. If you're new to green tea, then all their teas come with brewing instructions. So it's very simple to make, and you can easily re-brew the same tea leaves for three or four times, because it is such high quality. I really recommend giving Ikkyu a try. And you can get 15% off your order if you use my link in the description. So if you click on that link, then the discount will already be applied for you. Get 15% off, definitely give them a try. Big thanks to Ikkyu as always, and let's get back to the video. Number six of the things I quit is negative self-talk. So the other day I sat down to film a for channel supporters. And before I film, I always do a little test shot to see if the angle and the lighting and everything works out. And that's when this happened. Yes, I stubbed my toe against the table leg really really hard. And luckily nothing happened, like no broken toes or anything. But it was definitely painful. And when I was younger, this would definitely be followed with swearing and calling myself clumsy or stupid or some other kind of negative self-talk. Which is something that I really don't do anymore. And it was funny to see in the comments, because a viewer also commented this, that whenever they used to stub their toe or do something clumsy, that they would also engage in negative self-talk about it. And I think that is very common and very normal thing to do. We make a mistake or do something kind of stupid or lazy or clumsy or whatever kind of word or phrase. And it can also come in the form of self-deprecating humor, making little jokes about our appearance or our abilities or things like that. And I think that there can be nothing wrong with, you know, being able to laugh at yourself and making a little joke here and there. But when you do that repeatedly, our mind does listen. Like if we are just kind of like beating ourselves up in the form of humor, then I think that this can also be negative self-talk. So for me, simplifying my life also meant simplifying the way that I speak to myself and how I deal with making mistakes and showing imperfections. So now when I make a mistake, or I drop something, or I stub my toe, instead of calling myself clumsy or stupid or awkward or whatever, I just kind of think like, okay that was weird. Or I just think like, oops. And it might sound like a small thing, but this really does shape our whole outlook on how we approach life and how we approach ourselves. And the fact that we make mistakes or do dumb things sometimes, it really doesn't shake me up like it used to anymore. When I notice that, you know, I could have done that better or I did something weird. I just kind of like, yeah, notice it and try better next time and just move on with my life. Number seven is packing light for the day. As a minimalist, I typically tend to believe in less is more in most cases. And I used to do that when packing for the day as well, like deciding what to bring in my bag. Which is something that I've quit. At the time, YouTube was also full of these videos of like what's in my minimalist bag. And it showed people like only bringing the true essentials with them when they went out. And it looks very inspiring and it made me want to be that way as well. But I really found that this wasn't helpful for me at all. I'm the kind of person who needs a survival kit with me whenever I go out. I kind of now bring the whole shebang with me. I bring water in case I get thirsty, I bring something to eat in case I get hungry, I bring sunglasses, lip balm, I bring deodorant, I bring a little towel to dry my hands or my face, I bring sunscreen, I bring mints, hand sanitizer, earphones, just anything that I think will come in handy wherever I'm going. As someone who can get very easily overstimulated when I go out, it really helps me to know that I have everything I need to be comfortable. And yes, my bag does get a little bit heavy sometimes, but for me that is still better than not having the thing with me that could make me feel more comfortable. And then I need to go out and buy bottled water somewhere, or something to eat that's vegan, and like I need to find somewhere that I can eat something. Like it's nice to know that I have everything I need with me in my bag. For actual trips and vacations, I still try to pack light. I usually do either just a carry-on or a shoulder like a backpack if I go traveling. Because I do find that that also really does help to simplify if you're not lugging a big heavy suitcase around. But this is where I like to simplify with the outfits, and the shoes, and the accessories. I keep it very simple, I don't need a lot of options. But I will always bring what I need to feel comfortable. I think simplifying life doesn't always have to look minimal in that sense of the word. It's more about finding ease and comfort, and removing friction and things that are unnecessary. Number eight of the habits that I quit is messing with my sleep. I really don't mess around anymore when it comes to my sleep. It is one of my favorite things to do, just like eating, sleeping. And I've come to really accept about myself that I'm the kind of person who really needs a good night's sleep. It has an impact on literally everything I do. I am super careful with caffeine after dinner, I turn down the lights in the evening, I drink herbal tea, I limit blue light and screens before bed, all that stuff. And then I go to bed at a reasonable hour. I will read a chapter or two of my book in bed and then it lights out. Of course I realize this is easier for me because I don't have kids, and just the fact that I can choose to prioritize my sleep is definitely already a luxury. And it is something that I really appreciate. But I think it's not just me, it's also become really normal to not prioritize sleep. To maybe go to bed a little bit later, thinking like oh I'll watch one more episode or one more video, or you're in bed scrolling on your phone. And we don't get the high quality sleep that we really need. When I don't get a good night's sleep, my mood becomes more fragile, my mind is more scattered, I can't focus as well, my body feels heavy, I don't want to work out. So it is something that I have come to treat as a non-negotiable. And then sometimes something happens and I still don't get a good night's sleep, and that is outside of my control. But I will at least try to do my part to make sure I get a good night's rest. Another habit I quit is taking other people's beauty advice at heart. When I was younger, I would always just assume that what other people said was true. Or like they were smarter somehow, or like what they said had more weight to it. So I would always take it to heart. And it never really occurred to me that yes, sometimes people say things that are definitely smart, and true, and awesome. But oftentimes people are just saying something, and it's not necessarily more true than my own opinion on something. So I've learned to sometimes take what people say with a grain of salt. And especially when it comes to beauty advice. And I say advice because oftentimes it's not even meant to be like helpful, constructive advice. It is more just their opinion on your looks that is oftentimes not helpful or even appropriate. For example, I used to get highlights in my hair, and I did that for years. And I remember after a while thinking I would like to stop doing that, and talking about it with my hairdresser. And she said that my natural hair color would be very boring, and I would look like a gray mouse. That's actually what she said. And because of that, you know, I took her advice seriously. I figured she's a hairdresser, she knows what she's talking about. So I continued to get the highlights in my hair for years after that, even when I wanted to stop. Luckily after a while I realized how dumb that was, and I stopped getting the highlights and getting my hair dyed. It's been years since I did anything to my color. I think it looks fine, which greatly helped simplify my life. Because now I don't have to get my hair colored every couple of months. Or recently I quit using silicone free shampoo, because my hairdresser recommended silicone free shampoo. I used it for two years, it was truly awful for my hair. I'm not saying it's bad, it's just for my hair. It was not working, I had so much breakage. Now that I'm using like silicone shampoo, no more issues. What I've realized is that beauty advice oftentimes is not subjective at all. It's just someone else's opinion, their preference, their taste, their own insecurity sometimes. And as soon as we can decide our own beauty standards for ourselves, life definitely becomes a lot simpler. So now I ask myself, do I like this? Do I feel good in this? Do I like how this looks? Etc. And it has definitely helped. And number 10 of the habits I quit is wearing makeup every time I leave the house. I still like makeup, I also like being able to leave the house with no makeup on. I like to have the choice. Before, I would always put on makeup if I was leaving the house. Even if I was only going for like a short errand or something, I would put on makeup first. Which sometimes would really complicate my day, because maybe it's going to like rain in 30 minutes and now I cannot leave before it starts raining, because I have to put on my makeup first. Or in the summertime, it was really uncomfortable sometimes with the whole like sunscreen and then makeup and then sweat and then needing to reapply the sunscreen but you're wearing makeup. And it really didn't help that when I was younger, every time I was like brave and I went to school or work with no makeup on, someone would come up to me and ask me like are you okay? Like you look tired or you look sick. And it's like no, I'm just not wearing makeup. I think society has really become used to seeing women with makeup on, that having just a bare face feels different. And even to ourselves, sometimes we might feel like we need makeup in order to look acceptable. But I've come to realize that there's nothing wrong with my bare face. We can choose to wear makeup, we can choose to not wear makeup, it's all fine and it's all beautiful. To me, when putting on makeup feels like a must, it just adds another layer of pressure and another step in our routine, in our everyday life, in order for us to like be able to go out and exist in the world. As a conclusion, I think that one of the biggest things about simplifying life is being able to try things, see what works for you. Maybe a little bit more is helpful for you in some occasions, maybe a little bit less is helpful in other occasions. We all get to like shape our own routines or rituals or habits in a way that really supports us. And when we can achieve that, we can just remove some of that friction, some of that complication, or just the unnecessary bulk and the extras that do not add to our life. And that I think is what simplifying life really means. And that's it, 10 normal habits that I quit to simplify my life and live happier. I would love to know from you in the comments what is something that you have quit, and is there anything that I've talked about that really resonated with you, that you would maybe like to quit as well, or some other thoughts that you have. I always love reading your comments, so I cannot wait to hear what you have to say. As always, a huge thank you for sticking around all the way until the end of the video, I hope you had a good time. And a special thank you to my channel supporters who are helping me to keep the channel running. If you want to, and if you are able to become a channel supporter too, then there are links in the description box. You can choose to either join on youtube memberships or on patreon. It's basically the same, so it's just a question of which platform would you prefer. And you will get access to all the bonus videos that I've made over the last, I think, six years already. I make two extra bonus videos a month, so there are many that you can catch up on if you want. And again, links are in the description. If you want to try some amazing Japanese green tea, then definitely give Ikkyu a try. You can get 15% off with my link in the description box. And as always, questions, comments, conversations down below. Have a wonderful, wonderful day, and I will see you all again really soon. Bye bye. So is anyone here pickling their own red onions? Because I really want to try, but I keep putting it off. So I need people in the comments to tell me to start doing it.