MY DAUGHTER AGES 1-50

Today, my daughter Salish travels through time to see the most incredible moments of her life. Whoa, I'm pregnant? But she'll have to make important decisions that could change her future. I'm not gonna go back to this guy, no. Starting with college. Salish, this is you in college. Whoa. You are 18 and it is your first day as a college student at UCLA. Whoa, okay. And you're a gymnast. What? Yeah. Okay, this is so cool. She can't see me? She's not gonna respond to you all day, say. That's so weird. Wow, she looks exactly like me. Aged well. Salish, she can't see you. Nice earrings. The actress playing Salish is Elan and she looks so much like my daughter. It is freaking me out. I kind of feel like I know what it's gonna be like to see my daughter in college. Do we really look that similar? We're going to age her throughout the day so we will know exactly what it's gonna be like when Salish gets older. Obviously, there are like a million different ways that your life can go, but today you will have control over one of those directions. So do you want the main focus of this to be family, friends, career, or boys? Boys. You didn't even think about it? No. Okay, so we're gonna see your life through the view of your relationships with boys. Here's a remote control. When you press play, your adult life begins. Oh, whoa, okay. Here we go. Look at this guy. Oh. Wow. Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. That was so not slick. That wasn't slick. That was not smooth. Wow, you're gorgeous. Thank you. Hi, I'm Brad. Nice to meet you. So I have an accent now? You studied abroad in high school and you picked up an accent. Actually, the actress is from the UK. Are you a freshman here? Yeah, I am. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, same, same. Okay, cool. Yeah, I, uh, actually I'm on the football team. He's cool. I could see myself dating him in college. Not ready for you to date anyone in college, but okay. I actually really don't, um, I don't know too many people outside of, obviously freshman year, I don't know too many people outside of it. Yeah, um. I don't know if he has Riz or not. I can't tell. Maybe we could get like coffee or something one day. Yeah, sure, yeah. Cool, okay, cool. Actually, here. Oh, what's this move? I had to run off to practice, but this is my number, all right? Yeah, let's get some coffee sometime, all right? Yeah, definitely. Well, it looks like you took the number. Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I'll call him later. We'll find out. What was your name again? Salish. Salish? Yeah. Okay, cool. All right, it was great meeting you. Hi. Okay, you seriously like the dude. Look at the way you're smiling. I guess I do. Ready to see the next thing that happens in your life? Yes. Okay. All right. Ooh, Dad, I feel like I wouldn't wear a hoodie on my first date. When you're in college, you can make your own choice. Hey, I really like that song. Oh, uh, thanks. It's Billie Eilish. I don't know if you've heard of her. She was really big back in the day. Yeah, I think I remember. I'll play a little bit. Yeah, carry on. You got it. Billie Eilish is sometimes good. I like her. Okay, you, this Salish, you, are you more into like musician guys or jock athlete guys? Athlete. So this guy might not have much of a shot. Well, I mean, maybe I changed as I got older. Yeah, I don't know. Still working on it. You're so talented. That's amazing. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Salish, why aren't you making a move? I don't know. Why isn't he making a move? Nobody's doing anything. I know. They're just sitting there. So awkward. Ask for my number. Are you kidding me? Ask for my number. Sorry, I've got to run to class. Okay. Okay, bye. Bye. Wow, I'm just leaving? You're leaving? Bye. Uh, hey, wait. Yeah? Long shot, but, um, would I be able to give you my number? Yeah, I'd love that. Maybe I could teach you sometime. Okay, finally. It took him a while. It's right in the textbook, huh? Yeah. All right. Thank you. I'll text you. Okay, sounds good. Today is going to be filled with a bunch of your future core memories. Okay. And each time you're going to get to make a decision. All right. So your first decision is, do you want to go on a date with the athlete or the musician? I think the athlete. What? Yeah. Did you see her energy? I have so much more connection with the athlete. I can just feel it, dad. You didn't. You guys were. Okay. So this kind of guy is like a player. Those jock guys. Okay. So you choose an athlete. Let's see the date with the athlete. Bad decision. Let's see how your first date in college goes with the athlete. I think you should choose the other guy, but athlete. Let's see how it goes. Play. Well, I'm having a really, really good time. I'm having a good time too. Good. I think this is the end of the date. I think so too. Yeah. I'd love to see you again. I'd like that a lot too. Yeah, definitely. Also, why is there meat there? Maybe you're not a vegetarian anymore. No, I think I will be. So what do you think is happening? Doesn't seem like they've eaten anything. No, maybe they're just talking. Okay, wait, pause, pause. What? Okay, dude, I cannot watch you kiss a dude right here. So you know what? I'm going to take off and you decide whether or not you kiss him. All right. Okay. I'll be over here. I feel like it's the first date. I don't know. It might be too early to kiss. But on the other hand, he is pretty cute and I think I like him. So no, it's too early. Good instincts. Play. Sorry, I'm really not ready. Really? Yeah, sorry. I'm really not feeling it. I sat here for an hour talking to you and you're really not going to kiss me? What? That's so rude. Just because you go on a date doesn't mean you have to kiss them. I'm not ready. I'm sorry. What? That's so rude. That's good that I didn't kiss him because he doesn't seem very good. But that's so weird. Maybe I picked the wrong guy and next time I shouldn't just go with the hot guy. Yeah, don't want to kiss a guy like that. Why are you crying? Because you just graduated and it's so special. You go figure everything out. I'm going to go watch this. All right, let's see what graduation looks like. Oh, I guess I have a new best friend. Oh my gosh, I got a job. Did you? I really want to open my own gym. But it's going to be so expensive. What kind of gym? A gymnastic gym. Oh my god. Oh, okay. I want to start my own gym one day. This is so cool. Oh my gosh. Can I come every single day? Okay, he is not allowed to come to my graduation. I wish I could just pause him. Bye, so good to see all the amazing things you do. Bye. Hey, Salish. The guitar guy? Not him again. What? Salish. Hey. Wait, what? Can you believe it's been four years already? Oh my gosh, wait. I can't believe we graduated. So I know I'm probably really late on this, but I would like to teach you those guitar lessons that I promised. They're totally flirting. Well, it took you long enough, didn't it? Hey, I gave you my number. I was waiting on the call. Oh my gosh, what? So what do you say? Please say yes. Okay, pause. Salish, pause. Hit pause. Hold. Pause. Okay, this is a big moment. Yeah, I know. Are you going to say yes or no to the date? I think I'm going to say yes. Okay, play. Yeah, I'd like to. That sounds good. Yeah. Awesome. Oh my gosh. Well, do you still have my phone number? I need to give it to you. Yeah, now I've got your number. All right, sounds good. They're so cute. I'll see you soon. I'll see you. Bye. They're so cute together. All right, let's see my new apartment. First of all, this couch. I mean, it's cute, but I don't think it's exactly my style. That phone is pretty cute. I don't know what this light is, but whatever. Let's see. Who are you texting? iPhone still look the same. Oh, well, that will be interesting later. Nice coffee machine. Oh, I guess I'm dating guitar guy. Oh, he lives here. Yep. Well, this kind of seems kind of boring. Just wait and see. All right. And play. You're not going to believe this. You are really not going to believe this. I can't even believe it myself. I got the job. Oh my God, that's amazing. Oh my God, I'm so proud of you. I know, I can't believe it. But there's something else I got to tell you. I got the job and it's amazing. It's in Sydney, Australia. Look, I know that you have the gym. I'm so, so proud of you, but is there any way you would come with me? I need you there. The gym's my dream. I can't give that up. Salish, pause. Pause. Okay. Wait, that's so sad. He just got an incredible job. You've been trying to build a gym and you're about to do it. He wants you to move with him to Australia. What are you going to do? This decision is pretty hard, but I don't think I'm going to do it. I mean, I have been building this gym and it's like about to happen. I can't give up my dream for someone. I'm sorry. That's my dream. Are you sure that that's your answer? I'm sorry. I understand. Well, this is awkward. Let's move on. Okay. One, two, three, point your toes. Four, five, six, seven, eight. Okay, you're good. Good job, guys. Whoa, I own a gym now? Yes, you worked for four years, saved up money, and now you are the co-owner of California Rhythms. That's awesome. Dad, I'm a gymnast, not a rhythmic gymnast. I know, I know, I know. But over the years, you're going to convert this into a full gymnastic studio. Come on, guys, hold a bit longer. You're kind of a tough teacher. Yeah, for sure. Oh. Him again. What is he doing here? What? Oh no, not him. He thinks he looks so cool. He's like slowly walking in. Yeah, I can see. But look, he's got a nice suit. Hey. I look surprised. You did not expect him here. How you been? Oh, so you've come back to apologize after ditching me on campus 10 years ago. Okay. Yeah, that wasn't cool. Look, I just want to make it up to you, okay? I got money now, I can fly you out to Paris and, you know. Pause. Okay, he's got a lot of money, he looks good, and he's asking you to fly all the way to Paris tonight for dinner. What are you going to do? Do you say yes or no to this date? I know what it feels like to be in love now. That's true. So I'm not going to go back to this guy, no. Play. Um, no thank you. And also no shoes. Oh, hits him with the no shoes. Oh. Nice. Bye, that hurts. Bye, Felicia. That sucked, please. That's like 2016. That was cringe? Yes. Okay, my bad. How did he even know where I was? Well, he looked it up on ZipZap. What's ZipZap? ZipZap is the obvious trending social media platform. Come on, duh. What? You mean TikTok? No, TikTok got banned like eight years ago. What? Yeah. Bad news, everyone. So I'm coming home from work. You never know when a big core memory might happen. So that happens here. What? Hey, Sae. Hey. I know it's been a few years, but I want to let you know I quit my job. Really? I couldn't live without you. I just want to know if you'd give me another chance. Pause. What? What are you going to do? He comes back after years, asks to date you again. You haven't talked to him. What do you think? I think I'm going to say yes because, I mean, that's so sweet. That is so sweet. See, this is the kind of guy I'd want you to say yes to. Absolutely. Play. Of course. I've missed you so much. I've missed you so much, baby. That's so sweet. Pause. I'm already getting married now. Yeah, it happens. First of all, beautiful dress. It's really pretty. But wouldn't I have more guests at my wedding? I have, like, more friends that I want to come. Well, I guess you've lost all those friends over time. It happens. These are your friends now. No, I don't want to lose all my friends. Play. Kiss. Okay, that happens later. Everyone is gathered here today to celebrate your union. Does anyone have anything to say? Oh, I would. I'd like to. Thank you. Miss, um, this is very emotional. No, pause. Wait, what? What's wrong? No, stop. No speech. I have to give a speech. Look at you. You're a beautiful bride. I have to. When you actually get married, I'm giving a speech. Yes, I am. Look at her. Look, oh my gosh. Look at her. She's about to cry. No speech. Ow, ow. Okay, never mind. Play. Great. Well, now have your vows. Salish, I vow to never leave your side again, no matter what. And to always play you a song when you're feeling down. He's a keeper. Yeah, vows are emotional. I don't do emotion. Let's get married. That's my girl. That was so you. Yeah, that is pretty me. Alec, do you take Salish to be your lawfully wedded wife? I do. And Salish, do you take Alec to be your lawfully wedded husband? Pause. This is it. You're going to marry this guy. It's it forever. Or you can just walk down the aisle, leave forever, and go live your life. What do you want to do? I think obviously, yes. Play. Of course, I do. I love you so much. That was a bit much, but okay. By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. Wait, Dad, I don't get the whole aw thing. Like, they kiss. It's like, yay. It's romantic. So? It's beautiful. You just got married. They probably kissed like a million times. Why do they get one aw at a wedding? It doesn't make any sense. I'm never having a wedding. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. I'm never going to have a wedding. Way too emotional. Well, I'm going to cry at your wedding, so it's going to be emotional. I'm going to bawl. So will Mom. So will Hudson. We will all cry. Hudson's not going to cry. Let's watch the end of the wedding, please. Whoa, whoa, pause. I'm pregnant? Whoa, this is so cool. This house is so nice. Let me look around real quick. Let's look what's in the fridge. Whoa, wait. There's coffee in here? Okay. You keep giving it to her. I'm having some coffee. You got pregnant. You bought this house. Wow, what a life you're living, huh? Yeah. Do I have a room here somewhere like when I want to stay? No, no, no, no, no. Hold on. I'm going to have a grandkid. That's legitimately exciting. Exactly, you just leave. Love you. Thank you. Leave? Bye. No, I'm going to be a grandfather. Grandfather. Seriously, I have to go. Okay. And play. Wait, what's happening? Babe, got to narrow down to the top 10, right? You just got to pick one. Okay. Sophia. Oh, that's really pretty. I like that. Emma. That's super pretty, but not for me. Isabella. Amelia is my personal favorite. Evelyn or Luna. What do you think? Okay, Salish, wait. Pause them, pause them. Pause? How did you get in? I climbed in through the window, but it doesn't matter. You have a big decision to make right now. All right. What is your baby's name? Which one of those are you going to pick? I have a list and I've been working on it for a while. So let's look. Wait, you have a baby list? Obviously. For a girl, Olivia. Like the nickname would be like live. No? Charlotte. Charlotte was going to be your name. Yeah. If I have a boy and a girl twins, then the girl is going to be named Oakley, and the boy will be named Oakland. The boy's nickname will be Oak, and the girl's will be Oaks. Okay. Isn't that good? I'm not sure about that. But you have to make a decision right now about what the baby name is. I'm going to pick Oakley. Okay. Let's see what happens. What? No, I like Oakley. Oakley? Yeah. Yeah, forget these names. That's perfect. I love that. Oh. It's now. She's about to give birth. She's going to give birth. This is going to be my grandkid. Shouldn't they be in the hospital? They should. They got to go. Watch. He's going to get all the stuff. Oh my gosh. I got to take it to the hospital. The shoes, the shoes. This always happens. He's forgetting everything. She's going to give birth like right here. Dude, hurry up. Hurry up, dude. Oh my gosh. Dad. Did you see him jump? Come on. Let's go. Oh my gosh. This baby is so cute. You know what? I can't pause. I have to go play with her. High five. Oh, thank you. I think she's going to be an awesome mother. At least the fun parts of mothering. All right. So you want to, they're holding it for a long time. You want to wrap this up. You want to keep playing. You want to stop. And let's get back to their moment. Wow. Parenting is exhausting. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted. You're exhausted. I'm exhausted. I get up for the kids every night. Yeah, what? Fair enough. I do the laundry. I do the dishes. Well, excuse me. I'll do more. Hey, but I'm supportive. I need more than support. I need help. He's losing this argument. Yeah. This is so you. You would not let him get away with this. Yeah, no. I love being a dad and I'll be even better for the next one. You think you're ready? Pause. Okay. You have a baby and you have an option. He wants to have another. What would you say? Of course. I've always wanted to have so many kids. Like how many? Like 10. Okay. Well, let's see how that goes. Play. Okay. Well, the funny thing is I'm pregnant. What? Oh my gosh. It's amazing. I'm so excited. Aw, me too. Last I remember, I was just pregnant and now I have three kids. It happens fast. Whoa, this is crazy. Careful. These are my kids, I guess. They don't even really look like me. Whoa, I got old. It happens. He got old. That's what happens when you raise kids. Look at this face. Yeah, I see. It looks like yours. Yeah, I'm only 30. This is chaotic. Yeah. Let's get back to it. Play. Oh my gosh. Is this what kids are like? This is what kids are like. What you were like. You've always said you're gonna have three kids. Here's your three kids. This is crazy. But look at how happy they look. Look at them. I think you got the number wrong. It's actually six kids to 10 kids. Six to 10 kids? Are you crazy? Let's see if it happens. Oh, look, they're pushing. Oh, no. Oh, they're fighting. Oh, watch out. Careful now, you two. Break it up. That's enough. Oh, boy. They got old. And this is very chaotic and messy. But it's kind of nice. Parenting is awesome. I want the pizza. Uh-oh. Hey, you guys better share it. What do you think about your future? Dad, I just started high school. Let's give it time. Today is the official bring your daughter to work day. So in celebration, I brought my daughter, Salish. Now, Salish is a gymnast, right? And so she is going to take the challenge today. But she's never done it before. And she's a level three gymnast. And she's eight. So I thought she might.