My Wife’s Not Willing To Move for a Better Life

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today so me and my wife have come to the uh agreement that's my current position as a my I'm I'm a business owner and it's uh not likely to get us to the goals that we've achieved uh that we've set that we want to end up in our lives and um my question to you is my wife is not willing to uh move away to find the right job that does that she wants to stay close to her family she's very close with them and they're close with her and I'm close with them as well but I'm more willing to go out and find that job uh you know far away from here if it's if that's what it is and she's uh very resilient to making that change and uh there's not much job offers nearby where we live but there are you know hour hour and a half away from here so houst communicate that I'm in Brenham which is about an hour and a half outside of Houston okay and so Houston's my nearest uh big town and so what kind of job are you looking for got jobs I'm a mechanical engineer I I've done uh I've got experience in oil and gas and I've got experience in manufacturing in Aerospace uh Safety Systems I'm actually looking right now for a role um potentially in oil and gas but also in um I know that there's a lot of space exploration that is what would you be making in the new role approximately uh it would be a fourthe engineer so somewhere between 80 to 990,000 what do you make now at you're a small business it's a carpentry business that was a passion that I jumped into and it's very it varies of course based on the jobs I've been able to maintain around 65 to 70 a year uh but that's uh starting to show we've got kid a boy and we want to have more kids and that's starting to show that there's something else that needs to kind of take care of the expenses and just what I'm making now in the job uh how long have you been married we've been married about three years now and she's funny enough she's actually a uh German citizen with a green card and so there's um it's funny I talked to her about finances and stuff and there seems to be disconnect where obvious things to me are not so obvious to her uh and and I see it as from her German background it's like very different there and there's not you know not not as much of her her F her German family is in Brenan Texas part of the German family yeah she's got family all over the world but um the the her sister who she's very close to they were her sponsors coming over I met her through her family and uh so I ended up marrying her but we're close to her family who's here in in Brenham yes sir her family is her sister her sister and her brother-in-law they they own a that's the that's the whole family hold no she's got a mom in Germany that's what I I'm asking why in the heck you're staying in Brennan her sister is why you're staying in Brennan it's not exactly your mom it's not exactly her mom and you got the grandkids you're running off with this is the very true very true uh her her background their family is very rough a lot of bad stuff with parents her sister was her her mother acting mother kind of thing okay here here's um you know you guys have just got to sit down and talk about okay these things all don't go together there's not a $90,000 job for me here right if you are in agreement that I need to get a different job you are saying we need to move closer to Houston so instead of being 10 minutes from your sister you're going to be 45 minutes from your sister and I'm going to have a 30 minute commute you're going to move between the two right sure yeah that's reasonable yeah absolutely but if you can't communicate that kind of basic stuff you got other issues like marriage issues oh no yeah and and that's it's not so much she's willing to move uh no she's that's why you called me well she she's uh faithful as a wife but she also has this does that's not the point I was didn't say she was unfaithful you called and said she's unwilling to move but we're in agreement that I need a new job that's exactly what you said right here I heard you right yeah okay so so quit changing the story and if she can move across the world I think she can move an hour away from her sister be okay you can visit her on the weekends yeah so I think there needs to be some compromise here yeah I mean and again I'm not saying move to freaking New York City you're you're moving closer to Houston where you have a 30 minute commute instead of an hour and a half and then she when she sees her sister on the weekend for God's sakes you drive an hour over there I mean you know it's this is not he wants to be in he he wants to be a rocket scientist so here we I'm kidding this is I'm kidding it just through my head I almost said it but no have a problem no I mean that's that's uh you know you you are in the hot bed if you want to be in the space world my God you're in Houston you can't there's nowhere else other than Cape gaval that you could do better so um but you're going to not commute an hour and a half so she can be near her sister that's asinine think we're going to FaceTime for a while it'll be okay whatever I mean again I'm not suggesting you completely disconnect that you never see them again or whatever but if if you actually add up the number of hours you spend with them during the week versus the number of hours you spend at work during the week these two things are not compatible so it's illogical it's silly and we're both in agreement that me working all the time as a carpenter my passion job I think he said Y is not working out so okay good so get you an engineer job up towards Houston move your butt up there and then you know for God's sakes hire her a driver and send her down to her you know to the sister if you have to whatever you got to do it's not really not this is not hard it's not hard so you can't have this both ways you can't say oh you need to make more money we live in a dinky town that doesn't have a whole list of mechanical engineers now if there's mechanical engineering you can do remote in the oil field you might be able to do some remote work there I don't know I don't know how that works I was thinking about that maybe maybe you can land that and I'll just shut up and you just stay there but you need to go find some actual jobs and make her turn them down not Theory especially if it it means a 50% pay increase well that's what he's look going from 60 to 90 it's serious create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life