PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACHIEVED SUCCESS “LATER” IN LIFE (YOU’RE NOT BEHIND) | House Guest Podcast

hi y'all this is house guest and I am your host Kinsey Elizabeth think jenzie want to be Martha Stewart meets Dolly Parton trying to live in a Nancy Meers movie in her 20s we talk all about life relationships navigating your 20s closing at the bars or waking up at 5:00 a.m. depending on our vibe that week ultimately living our best lives and figuring it out along the way so come hang out sometimes I have guests on who do really cool things some of my best friends or it's just me in my house that I SP spend way too much time in so let's get into the show hi house guest welcome to my home this week you are coming over for a nice comforting actually the most comforting couch conversation you'll probably ever hear this is actually a continuation of an episode I did a couple years ago that I myself reference and I think back to all the time okay like I'm literally referencing myself speaking but it's okay because I am sharing people who achieved success like quote later in life people who didn't have it all figured out in their 20s 30s even 40s people who started their careers that are wildly successful and their 50s and 60s I just love the idea that you can reinvent yourself it's never too late like it's just like very comforting okay and then we're also actually hearing from a few of y'all who have sent in some great advice at our voicemail y'all can always call in I will have that in the description if yall are watching on YouTube be sure to subscribe comment where y'all are watching from and then if you're listening an audio first off go subscribe to the YouTube channel but also definitely give us a nice rating and review okay anyways I hope you guys enjoy and welcome to my home welcome to the couch y'all today we are going over my favorite list I actually would like to keep a running list and add people to this as I go I recorded this episode 2 years ago where I started off by listing off people who have achieved success later in life what I mean by later is not that they're old and I don't need a single comment like that it's not that I'm calling anyone old okay you're not old in your 40s you're not old in your 50s you're not old in your 60s I'm going to be that like 90-year-old woman who's like weightlifting and running actually I don't know well I don't want to jinx anything by saying I don't know how long I want to live we'll see about that but basically no one's old all right before we get into this episode like please please please I can't handle it but I do think that there's a lot of societal pressure and there's a lot of self-induced pressure that we all put on ourselves to achieve or hit certain Milestones by a certain age and that just is not realistic I think just with the development of social media in the past couple of decades we didn't have that kind of access to people prior so obviously it's like the best thing ever and the worst thing ever because you're comparing yourself to people's highlights all the time and you're constantly fed things of this 16-year-old went to Harvard and then you know discovered a new planet like all this crazy stuff and I'm like you see I'm not there okay I just think there's a lot of pressure to do a lot of things by certain age whether that is put on us by Society or is something that we're doing ourselves and it's very important to take a step back and remember that life is long okay and not everyone has everything figured out honestly period I don't think that anyone ever really has everything figured out that's the one thing that you will learn from this podcast from every single guest is that everyone is really just trying their best but it's actually very normal to find like your footing and involve constantly in your career which is why I really like this list L this is a list of people who have either found success found their footing or just evolved in their career changed it entirely or really had their bigger break really I would say 40s and on I really tried to stick with 50s but you know Martha was 41 so we we had to you know lower the level a little I for one and put a lot of pressure on myself in every area of my life at all times okay and what the conclusion that I've come to is that life is long and I don't want to do and Achieve every single thing that I've ever wanted to do by 30 like that's boring I a very long career where I'm constantly evolving and changing obviously what you want at 25 is going to be very different than 50 right and you want a career in a life more than that that is just different where you're learning things where you're changing your mind where you're introduced like you don't even know all the people who are going to be the most influential people in your life yet right like I'm sure the biggest thing that I do in my life it might not even exist yet like if you're in the digital landscape which we are all affected by the digital media landscape there are so many jobs and so so many things that are going to be happening in the next 10 years that we've actually like never even heard of and could have never imagined right so if y'all are listening to today's episode and you are feeling down maybe like a failure maybe like you haven't done anything and you're comparing yourself to everyone else in the world listen to this list and let it encourage you I sound like an Evangelical pastor and that is not what I'm going for today but this list seriously will like cure you I promise okay okay so these are people who have either found success found their footing evolved in their career or changed their career entirely something thing actually before we get into to this list my favorite thing to hear is someone who was a doctor their whole life and decided at like 40 or 50 that they actually really have a passion for being a school teacher and they ended up changing careers entirely or someone who always wanted to be a doctor and decided to go to like med school at 50 like I love people who don't have any sort of like limiting belief about their themselves and they're not following like a societal standard right I think it's such an amazing thing when you just decide that you want to do something and despite your age despite what's happening around you you just go and do it okay that is it's just like my favorite story I think it's such a good quality in people in general but I love to hear things like that because it shows you that like it's never too late you're never too locked in you can always start fresh you can always start new like something about that is very encouraging so let's get into the list Chris Jenner was 52 years old when the first episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians aired Martha Stewart was 41 when she published her first book entertaining which then evolved into her career as a public figure as Martha Stewart AA Garden was 51 when her first TV show debuted I do want to say like Martha had experience and Catering prior to that like they were doing things that kind of LED them to these areas like obviously in Garden had Barefoot contester she was also catering she was doing all these things but she never had plans to like be on TV actually Food Network if you guys haven't listened to anig gard's Memoir which you need to because it's our current book club pick it is so so so so so good like you actually have to basically they had to beg her for a TV show and I just think that's cool and a great thing to add to this list because she had no idea in her 20s and 30s that she was going to end up having a TV show and how everything worked out I think actually Ana Garden's entire life Journey that you guys should read or listen to an audible um for our book club pick is a very good example of everything I'm saying in this entire episode our girl Mel Robbins was unemployed and broke at 41 she wasn't just broke she was $800,000 in debt Julia Child was 50 years old when she published her first cookbook and then she made her television debut in the French chef at age 51 Vera Wang was 40 years old when she entered the fashion industry she was a figure skater and a journalist and then later decided that she wanted to go into the fashion industry and did that at 40 Tony Morrison was 62 years old when she became the first African-American woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize in literature Lin Cox was 41 when she got her breakout role in Orange of the New Black she also graced the cover of Time Magazine at 42 and was nominated for their first enemy at 45 Donald fiser started Gap at 40 Marisa Hagerty I can never say her name right and I like absolutely obsessed with her Olivia Benson s SPO she was 35 when she became Olivia Benson on SVU and now they're on their like 25th season right now Henry Ford was 45 years old when he created the Revolutionary Model T car in 1908 revolutionizing the automobile industry Betty White became an icon at 51 years old after joining the cast of The Mary Tyler Moore Show in 1973 becoming one of the most awardwinning comedic actresses in History Steve Carrell was 42 when he landed the role of Michael Scott in the office Connie Brittain was 37 years old she stayed under the radar until she was cast as Tammy Taylor in Friday Night Lights and that's when be she became like very widely known I love her love Friday Night Lights Bethany Frankle was 35 years old when she became a real housewife and appeared on The Apprentice with Martha Stewart lots of lore there we talked about that previously and later launched the skinny girl Empire in her 40s Jane Lynch was 40 years old before she got her breakout role Melissa McCarthy was this is an interesting one she was 41 years old when she they say she hit it big with her role in Bridesmaids but I just want to say like she was sukii and Gilmore Girls before which is like one of the biggest TV shows ever but I guess in that industry that's what everyone says so I don't know I mean agree to disagree she was already like really an icon but sure Viola did Davis had a successful stage career in her 30s before landing her big film break at age 43 she was nominated for an Oscar for her role in doubt Morgan Freeman wasn't even famous until he was 52 Bob Ross spent 20 years in the US Air Force upon retiring he taught himself to paint and become everyone's favorite painting teacher at the age of 41 Samuel A Jackson 76-year-old Samuel A Jackson is known as one of the highest grossing actors of all time who starred in more than 100 movies he took interest in drama back in his early 20s but he really only became world famous when he was 46 and he started in Pulp Fiction JK Rowling before JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter which is obviously Harry Potter she struggled with depression poverty and was trying to recover from a bad divorce she was looking for a way to provide for a child I think she actually lived if I'm not mistaken I'm pretty sure she was homeless at one point during that time when she was at her lowest when she started writing Harry Potter the first book of the series was published when she was 32 and that obviously kickstarted not even just like her ire writing career that kick started like one of the biggest franchises in history and she was broke she didn't know what she was doing she was just trying to provide for her child she was getting a divorce like things were looking DM Oprah wi free when Oprah was in her 20s she had a job as a news anchor she was actually fired too because she was crying on air and her empathy right like you can't do that when you're a news anchor which her empathy is ultimately what makes Oprah Oprah right and the Oprah Winfrey Show premiered in 1986 when she was 32 so she was fired in her 20s they told her you're never going to be on TV you can't cry on TV and then she became over Winfrey she is the richest woman on TV with the longest standing career and she's over Winfrey like that is insane Carrie Washington who I absolutely love and adore was not Olivia Pope which was her breakout role on Scandal until she was 35 35 is very young but still good to say there are just so many people that have stories where they achieve things later I think especially as women I don't know if it's that there's more of a pressure for us to like stay home and take care of the kids and also not even the pressure like we're actually the ones that have to like be pregnant and give birth to the baby it can feel at times like your life almost and I don't mean like your life ends like having children's a beautiful thing like that's not what I mean but it does feel like you need to like I don't know sometimes in my head I'm like I have to get everything done before I have kids and that's just a boring life to live like I don't want to like work so hard try everything that I think that I want and then have kids and think that like I can't do anything past that like there's always something that can change and evolve you don't have to have everything figured out in your 20s and 30s you also can be in a career path and think that it's just dead and go you know what Jennifer coolage is a very also good example Jennifer kage should be added to this list yes she's been around for so long but she really credits her like comeback role as the Ariana Grande music video like that is so crazy because she was in Legally blanched doing so many things but said that like no one was calling her it felt like her career in film was over and then she had like a huge Resurgence like it is never too late it's never over you can always evolve how many times you going I say evolve it feels like such an annoying bubs word you can always move into something that makes more sense at that time you just never know what's really going to be your big big break I think Martha Stewart is such an incredible example of this she is only in my eyes really become like more relevant and more famous and in that obviously in that career path her level of Fame does matter and does like kind of equate to some sort of success like she is still doing things she's 82 years old right now and she's still up and at it doing so many things like life is long your career I've heard it explained is like your career is a jungle gym and not a ladder and I think your life is a jungle gem not a ladder like it's not just a straight shot is what we mean by that when people say that you can fall down you can figure it out you can get off track or you can think that you're off track and that track actually leads you to exactly where you need it to be I love that list I will make an infographic for our Instagrams remember Chris Jenner was 52 when the first episode of kiing of the Kardashians aired which started the entire like Kardashian Empire another good thing actually would have been to say like back when Caitlyn was Bruce like way back in the day this is like years ago before even came up with the Kardashians Caitlyn Jenner had her whole like Olympic career obviously was an Olympian and came back didn't really have much going for like they hadn't been built into this like crazy Olympian that's on like serial boxes and stuff and Chris Jenner came along and when they got married started managing Caitlyn and built Caitlyn into more of this like famous Olympian like and again like people think that they've lost everything that it's all gone like gets never too late okay I want to be starting new companies and new careers when I'm in my 50s like I love that Bobby Brown this is another good example Bobby Brown had a non-compete when she sold Bobby Brown for 25 years on that day after 25 years she launches Jones Road right which is a highly highly successful like makeup line which I feel like is more geared even towards like gen Z so she's actually like hitting it with a completely different generation Bobby Brown being one that's maybe targeting women who are a little bit older God forbid I say older you know what I mean and she's another one who just has stuck around for so long I respect people who have the staying power and are constantly I hate the word relevant so I I hate to use that but I like people who are like rolling with the punches and for lack of a better word staying relevant if that makes sense I I hate that word literally so much but it's okay so anyways I think this is just a good reminder also to not give up on your dreams because if these people had given up like if Samuel Jackson had given up when he had started acting in at his 20s and didn't get his breakout role until his 50s and then he now has been in 100 movies like it can happen it just doesn't have to happen immediately so anyways that is a list that brings me just a lot of peace and makes me feel really really good inside you know what I mean I asked for people to send in some voice Smiles now listen guys I have to do an episode I one thing about me I love old people like I like an 80-year-old like you guys know that's why I meant to be is with the old people in their retirement home like we know this but I just love hearing them talk about life and I like hearing advice from them I actually want to advice from people who have lived a long life and had the context and have the wisdom my dream is to do an episode where it's exclusively like 70 plus 65 maybe lower I would like to do 70 plus and they're calling in leaving voice is giving us their best life advice like I think that would be the most comforting episode I would like to do a whole series Life advice from those in their '90s life advice from those in their 80s life advice from those in their 70s so I need you guys to get involved I need you guys to send that voicemail like to your grandparents make them do it it's very simple speak pipe.com iism you hit record you hit stop that's it okay and I just think it would be amazing but anyways we do have some voicemails that I would like us to listen to that are just really good pieces of advice to remember for in your 20s and 30s Kenzie it's Kathy Our Queen I'm calling to share with you something I wish I would have known in my 20s early 30s to make my life a little bit better and it won't surprise you that I'm going to say it's that you don't have to have it all figured out it's about making goals a part of your daily life the value here lies not only in achieving those goals but the growth and learning along the way be patient with yourself but keep pushing forward every single step counts most days it is about making many small moves don't forget to celebrate your small wins ultimately setting goals is a path of personal growth and satisfaction knowing that you are actively creating your own life in your own way so I challenge you to focus on what matters invest in your self and choose discipline over regret stop playing it small prioritize self-education take a few risks and always remember there are no limit to what you can achieve except the ones that we put on ourselves okay I hope this is what you wanted I'll talk to you soon okay bye that was our Queen Cathy a resident house guest life coach if you guys haven't listened to the episode with her you need to it's so good all about goal setting and all that stuff I like what you said about discipline over regret because I always say discipline over motivation because you can't rely on your feelings if I relied on my feelings I would be in bed crying every day so that's just the reality of your 20s I think but yeah that was really good also reminds me all the small wins how you to celebrate them of the moment of episode where we're making like a list of 300 goals I think that is so helpful hey KS it's me eron I've like really struggled recording this I think I've recorded it like a hundred times and it just goes to show you like me as your resident Elder Millennial I do not have it together am I allowed to curse I don't have my [ __ ] together um I've been you know successful in my field for the last 15 years but I still stumble and fumble and try to evolve as a human being and I think that that's like after all of the recordings I've deleted I think that that's the best form of advice and wisdom or Little Nugget that I have which is I don't think you ever have it together I want got asked in a job interview my knowledge in this certain field and on a scale from 1 to 10 what is it and I said three because I said if I said anything higher than that I would be boasting and thinking very highly of myself but I also would not be giving myself an opportunity for growth and to show that I know I have a lot to learn and I think that that's like one of the things I need to continue to take with me but other people continue to take with me is that like one you don't have it figured out we none of us do and number two give yourself an opportunity to grow to change your opinion to evolve to get somewhere maybe different than you ever thought you would go that's Aaron Aaron is one of my favorite people in the entire world she is like my weightlifting teacher she's a very very close friend of mine she's like a big sister to me but she owns a fitness studio and her saying that just made me think too you don't have to do everything at once which I feel like I was saying earlier but a started off she was a runner her entire life then she got into the fitness industry she was teaching at different Studios kind of moved around was kind of bopping around went into different things was a private trainer and now she owns a studio which I'm sure people in the fitness space I can imagine that being like the the top of what your biggest goal could be sometimes you feel like because you have all these goals you need to do them right this second and you just try to bypass all the years that you needed to like build to even get there to begin with so love love that that's another thing of like not knowing everything and also knowing you don't know everything in that humility because if you said if she went into that interview and was like no I I'm a 10 I know every single thing there's no room for growth and then you actually can't do anything so love that okay the rest of these people I don't know my advice is read your Bible and create a vision board the Bible will teach you about having vision for your future and how to make it all happen a preacher I follow say when God shows you a vision a passion a picture of you doing something that you've never done being somewhere you've never been accomplishing something you've never been able to do it's actually the future calling you answer the phone my name is Linda and I'm 62 years old and I discovered this truth in my late 40s early 50s don't let this happen to you God bless you all okay go off Queen like that was great I think regardless of what you believe too having that Vision I this is something that I need to really sit down and write and get my full thoughts on because I can't articulate this very well but I'll try it's something that I've been thinking about a lot as people we make ourselves smaller all the time especially as women because we're either trying to fit in with everyone else we're trying to be like humble but it's like a false humility or we're trying to not make someone else uncomfortable and I actually think that that's not really why we're doing that I think often times you're not going after your dreams because you're fearful but instead you're thinking you're trying to make everyone else like around you comfortable if you have something that's like in your heart or something that you see for yourself that you want so badly deep down you're doing not only yourself but like everyone around you a disservice because that's likely what you're meant to do the most humble thing you could do would actually be to go after that goal and not sit around and like try to fit in in spaces that you're not meant to be also that's not humility like you don't need to play small like you don't need to and it's not that you're sitting and like I'm the best person in the entire world but here's or I know everything here's the thing people who are actually achieving really crazy Heights of success actually know that they don't know much and they're either the ones who are the most down to learn or they're filling in the blanks and hiring out or Outsourcing people that do things better than they do like I think that the most kind and actual true humble thing that you could do is actually like go after what's in your heart I need to like really flush this out more my my head because it's been something that I've been trying to articulate better that's not the full thought but it just made me kind of think of that hi Kenzie and house guest I am a 35-year-old Woman calling in I am relatively new at Sage advice but I have a little bit of wisdom that totally transformed my life in my 20s so when I was 26 my older brother very unexpectedly passed away and somebody at the time told me you are never going to be this version of yourself again and I found so much comfort in it to just know that I wasn't going to be stuck forever in that version of grief and 9 years later I can confirm everything has changed there is so much Beauty in my world and now every morning when I wake up I remind myself you are never going to be this version of yourself again I find that it emboldens me that it makes me more grateful for every moment and that it reminds me that everything can change at any given moment for the better so just tell yourself you're never going to be this version of yourself again on good days and in bad and I think that it will help you see your world in a whole new way okay I love that also just as someone who's experienced immense grief in life that is very true it doesn't mean that grief isn't something like grief is always a part of you but the way that you feel I'm saying this people cuz I know a lot of people will listen into this podcast who have lost someone the way you feel and the initial I mean I know I'm only one year in with one but I'm six years into another eight years into another the way you feel on the initial year or two is not how you're going to feel forever like the way way that you can't move you have to like you feel like you're going to like punch someone or scream at all times like that doesn't last forever your relationship with grief evolves I've said this a lot on the podcast but as I'm saying like I don't want advice from someone in their 20s and I'm 27 giving you this but I do actually have good advice on this grief is a basketball it's very heavy and it's massive right and it's not necessarily that that basketball gets smaller over time it's that your life gets bigger and you learn how to live with that so over time your relationship and how things feel around grief does change I am very passionate about sharing that it's not necessarily it gets easier not I don't I like the word easier it gets harder in ways your relationship changes with it it's doesn't always feel the same it's not always the same version but I do say that because I know people who are in support groups who I'll go to something or listen to something and it's someone who's 20 years in who's like I feel the same exact way and I'm like that's the only way that I personally could like I hesitate to say this but I mean in my personal situation with my brother that's the only way that I could dishonor my brother if that makes sense like he would kill me if that was the case and I have so much empathy for people who are there I'm not saying that's right or wrong just saying in like my own personal Journey with like how I'm trying to navigate that is the only thing that I'm trying to really stay clear of so anyways I love that even if you're thinking about grief in a different way that's not to be over a person like grief in you know this is my life here or moving or I don't like how people can like whatever it could be changed it could be the end of something right it doesn't have to be a death I think that's really great advice hi Kenzie this is Emma I'm 29 years old so I'm at the the last few months in my 20s but here are three pieces of advice that I wish I had known nearly 10 years ago when I was 20 the first is the importance of advocating for yourself and this is something I wish I knew when I was in my first corporate job out of college nobody's going to get into your head and know what you want nobody's just going to give you what you want you have to advocate for yourself you have to speak up you have to tell people what you want number two Mel Robbins calls this the splintering era in your 20s when the people that you grew up with you were doing the same exact thing on the same timeline everybody's now scattered doing completely different things completely different timelines and you just can't even compare yourself to other people because everyone has different circumstances what they want different goals so I think also as you get older you become a lot more confident in your choices and your own timeline and then number three kind of a two for one but just the everyday the importance of the every day and I mean that by the habits that you have if you want to be a reader read 10 minutes a day that accumulates too many books over a year and just having those you know appreciation that appreciation for the everyday things the little things cuz that really is what makes up a life and also just be clean and organized and on time to things because that makes life a lot easier but those are a couple of my things and I'm excited to hear what everyone else has to say the everyday stuff is very in a garden of you I love Mel Robbins in this wintering era like that topic that's so real in your 20s and I think that's really as people are starting to have kids later that's really going into your 30s as well but it's actually very normal that's something I have to remind myself like your friendships are going to change in your 20s so so so much because everyone is doing different things you're changing so much who I was at 24 is not who I am now like it's just important and it's important to remember that that is normal so um my sister and I are in our 30s and so we had this saying um when life would get really really really hard and there just is no like I guess high in sight we would say it's just a toilet meaning even if it's shitty we just say it's a toilet and so it would help with like just like the hard hard days um but yeah that is my advice it's just a toilet I like that advice because it's taking the power out of the situation and bringing it back to yourself you know hi Kenzie my name is Cameron Forbes and I am the5 old founder of Forbes functions a boutique event planning agency based in New York City and although I've only been on Earth for a quarter Century I do really feel like I've learned one of life's greatest lessons which is that rejection or failure is always just really redirection so whether it is rejection in the form of something professional or personal or romantic it really should always be seen as just a redirection and often times I like to see it as a blessing and disgu guys so whether that's you know a painful breakup with a boyfriend you come to realize wasn't the best for you or not getting into your dream sorority or not getting your dream job and realizing that you absolutely love what you do now or you love the gr people around you I think that you know reframing rejection as redirection thinking about what we gain when we lose something is so important so you know instead of thinking about losing that boyfriend or losing that job think about what you're gaining instead and I think you know that has really helped me through so many moments of my life and I really think you know it it may sound cliche but it it's so true even just at the early age of 27 the things that I'm the most grateful for in life are actually the things that haven't worked out for me the things that I thought that I wanted that didn't happen like actually thank God OD like if I would have chosen like who I was going to marry at 22 I you would actually to lock me up at this point like it would have been so so bad another thing that I do that's kind of a little exercise is if I am in a really horrible and or stressful and or just like dark period of my life or something just isn't working out I always try to think about myself at 50 looking back at myself at 27 25 whatever age I'm at and try to think of like what what my 50-year-old self would tell myself then and the biggest thing that I get out of that exercise is I think greater context but also it's taking the power out of that situation it's very easy to feel like one thing is way bigger than it actually is and I look back like there's like markers in my life that I'll look back to and it felt like it was the biggest thing in the entire world at the time and it's something that I don't even think about and I have it in years so I like doing that little like exercise hi Kenzie my name is Madison Carolina and I'm 25 years old the best piece of advice that I've ever been given is that if something is for you you can't mess it up and if something is not for you you can't do anything to fix it and I a calming way to approach life thank you love the podcast I love that hello so my best piece of advice that I've received in my 20s is your comfort zone will kill you so as somebody who really thrives off routine really thrives off of things being comfortable and easy this one spoke to me the most because I'm kind of going through a really transitional period in my life you know being in my early 20s things are changing every day so I think it's important to remember that being in your comfort zone you know although it is safe and easy it's always good to push yourself out of it and try new things Chelsea Handler says that she's allergic to her comfort zone she's like I literally will not be there I hate it and I love that hey Kenzie um I'm calling in with kind of my greatest advice that I've ever been given best things that I've realized um and for me it's that everyone is responsible for themselves meaning that you're responsible for your own responses and actions um which seems obvious but that also means the flip is is true so I'm not responsible for how someone else responds to me I'm not responsible for someone else's emotions of course you alwayss world at least I believe this kindly um and with compassion but if someone else if someone else has a response that's that's their own thing so you're you don't have to take that on as your own and when you stop doing that when you stop kind of taking other people's emotions on as your own you have a lot more time and a lot more mental space to pour into things that are important to you and for me that has been able to like open up a lot of hobbies and a lot of time to spend really pouring into the people I love doing the things that I like to do and when I was more people pleasy and and worried about how how people were reacting to me I didn't have the time to do that and it's been pretty groundbreaking all you have to do is tell me that you have more time for hobbies if you stop people pleasing love that one hi Kenzie this is Hannah my biggest piece of advice for my younger self is to know when you've outgrown something and to not be complacent with complacency even though going through challenging times especially when you are putting yourself through them can be so difficult and feel so painful it's important to frame them as Growing Pains I'm not saying to stay in places that are harming you but just when you get to a point in life where you can tell that you are not growing and you're overly comfortable really check in with yourself and ask yourself if that is the season of your life that you are supposed to be in I grew up in Baltimore Maryland and I hit a point after college where it's like a fish can only grow as big as its Fishbowl and I was in such a tiny fish bowl and I was not going to grow in my hometown I'm sure some people could for me I wasn't going to do it um I ended up moving to Chicago with no job which I'm not saying I recommend I am saying that it changed my life and it had me it it made me learn to have faith in myself and to trust myself and I grew exponentially and it hurt but those were growing pains like we think about growing pains as puberty as this like physical thing but I think that they happen emotionally mentally and in your soul as well it's hard to have that discernment but just know that being comfortable and being complacent are two different I love that one I also love I will start thinking like growing pain like that I will be I'll be taking that from you thank you also something that I'm guilty of is I don't love change when it comes to friendships like I really like like we're friends I think we're friends forever like I don't like change and there's definitely friendships in my life that I no longer have that I think I knew for a while we were just in different places like we were and I think like I don't love the term like oh I think I outgrew them like because it feels kind of like I'm putting myself on like a pedestal and I don't mean it that way I think we just are going like different directions in life and had I just let the Friendship go had I just maybe not I don't say want to say end it but had I just let it naturally drift off there probably would have ended up being a lot less issues and I would have been a lot less devastated by the ending another thing that I have learned this past year is that I don't necessarily know if I'm always going to stand by this but I am at a point right now where I actually think prefacing this by you have to have good people around you if everyone has the same thing to say about someone or if there are people around you who really don't feel good about someone else or see a bunch of things that you don't see that doesn't mean you need to immediately go on the defense like I'm the one who's like on the defense like you guys just don't know them like you haven't sat down with them you don't understand them like they're so misunderstood and blah blah blah blah blah and now at the age of 27 I have realized there a pattern in my life where I will meet someone and I'll like excuse after excuse after excuse or like ignore all of the red flags and then I end up exactly where everyone else knew it was going to end up you know and I think that's like obvious when it comes to like dating but you don't really think about that when it comes to like just normal relationships whether it's like work relationships or friendships or whatever it is I'm a really big people person and I really do like live with the mentality that you really should give someone like the benefit of the doubt and believe the best but I think you can do that with boundaries and that's where I lacked instead those people would become like they would be like way too intertwined in my life and I think had I just listened to what other people said and also more than that I think paid attention to the patterns of their life I would but I have this thing where like I'll do that and I'll say to do that but sometimes I'll get too emotionally attached before I like really like will do that like if someone has like a a pattern of like lying or flaking out or doing something or whatever it is like something that like you just can't stand by like you need to clock that and take it seriously like let them lie let them do that like that's how they are it's not you you are never going to change someone you know and it's actually your fault now that like like it's my fault that I went into that and ex made excuse after excuse after excuse like maybe they could do something absolutely horrible to you or they've done something absolutely horrible to me but now I'm in a position where like I saw every single warning sign and I just ignored it so it's like whose fault is it really mine you know what I mean hey Kenzie my name is Bailey and my advice comes for my dad who is so wise and I love him so much but he's always telling me stop expecting every everyone to be like you and I think that's so obvious but it's so easy to forget when you're frustrated with people at work or with your friends or relationship or just whatever it may be we all have different priorities we all approach things differently we all have different levels of work ethic for different things even on different days whatever the case may be so just stop expecting everybody to be like you may sound kind of cynical but it's honestly actually helped me view people more positively so that's my word love that also that just reminded me I really need to do like a dad advice episode like Mick Piper needs to be we need to be the fire pit in my backyard with him giving us advice you know he needs to come on the show please like start spamming our comments saying we want to see Mick and like maybe he'll come on what I want to leave you guys with okay this is the thought that I've had it's not revolutionary but let's say you're going to live to just for the sake of math let's say you're going to live to 100 okay at 20 you're 20% through life at 30 you're 30% through life but really think about it this way your brain does not fully develop until you're 25 years old okay so some people are like I didn't become an adult till I was 18 I'm 25 I'm really only seven if you think about it no no no no your brain doesn't develop until you're 25 like honestly anything I did before 25 it's a wash like I don't even pay attention to any of that seriously like that wasn't me I don't care so now I feel like I'm two okay and that helps you to remember like you're so young even at 35 you're 10 at 45 you're 20 all right like can't blame you like honestly to achieve these crazy things at at 45 is insane because you're actually 20 years old if you think about it you know and that's just like a really good way to view life and even at 45 it's like oh you're only 45% of the way through so that is it for my episode of people who have achieved success later in life you don't have to have it all figured out right now you don't have to do it all right now life is long why would you want to do everything by 30 then you're going to be bored for 70 years okay that would not be very fun it's also not very business Savage of you there's a lot more money to be made if you think about it guys all right also not fun not cool not very Fab we don't need to do it all it's fine okay life is long things will work themselves out I would also venture to say that like half of the jobs and the things that you guys are going to do and create in life do not exist yet so like literally do not stress out about it okay that's it love you guys so much I hope you guys enjoy today's episode subscribe if you guys are new here comment below if you guys have a story of someone actually comment below what age you are and then also if you have a story of someone or you know someone that has completely changed career paths or changed your life entirely from 40 Beyond please leave a voicemail I'm going to leave the voicemails open forever right so we can just start collecting these okay so I'm looking for people who have completely changed their lives and evolved at some point and then I'm looking for any advice from people who are will go over the age of 40 okay I'm really looking for like 70 plus but you know they're not really on speak pipe so I think that's going to be a little bit harder I you know where I need to go I need to go into the retirement house podcast I need to go there but I also need to start going that's what I should do house guest tour of retirement homes Across America that is actually a dream that is what I need to be doing so anyways I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode I love you guys so much I really hope this episode helps because it genuinely like really does help me all the time I think about it every single day so love y'all and I will see you next week