Everything we wish we knew as newlyweds

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Couple Things with Sean and Andrew. Today's episode is in honor of Valentine's Day. The most romantic day of the year, babe. That's right. We have some fun traditions. We'll talk about and the episode is themed after love and marriage and dating and it's things that we would tell ourselves as newlyweds. Yes, we have a long list. Yeah, we have a list of 20 things we would tell. We've learned so much. It's been a really good process and you know, I was thinking about after last solo we did which was all about the psychology of marriage. Oh, yes. I remember that that was kind of a polarizing episode. Some people loved it. Some people were like, wow, this feels like a real business type of setup in your marriage and I understand both perspectives, but regardless of where you lie on that range, I was really glad that we get to talk about things that I think are thought-provoking for sure and maybe maybe they get people off their normal trajectory and maybe we are able to kind of poke around and help improve something. Tell me more about this though. I'd like to know what the people's responses. Yeah, who thought it was too businessy of a setup in our marriage. There's just a couple comments and that's fine. No, I know but I want I want to challenge them. So tell me what they said. They said wow way to take marriage and make it feel real businessy. That was the interesting but now you had that feeling that was your feeling the whole episode. It was very businessy for sure, but it was like he take away. Yeah, you were taking something like a social norm that should be practiced in marriage and you made it sound super like official. Yeah. Yeah, like a diagnosed prescribed thing. Well, they're just they're just certain terms. There's like labels for things, you know, I am curious within this. Doctorate of psychology that you've been studying and getting how much have you learned and been practicing on me? None. It's not I'm not like a practicing psychologist is to clarify. I'm learning about statistics and I'm learning about how to do research and how to evaluate research to test its validity and learning about how to cite sources and build an argument. So I'm not I'm not like teaching or learning about manipulation of oh, hey, if you want to convince somebody this is how you do it, but the episode got me thinking about how we try to talk about things that y'all want to hear about and if there is any topic that you're interested in hearing our take on please comment down below and we'll build an episode out of it. It is really really fun to construct these episodes. There's effort put into this. We have Google Docs that that we put thoughts into and organize them so that it's a pleasant episode to listen to and we love doing it. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to be able to do this on a day-to-day basis couple of life updates for you beam kids officially launched congratulations. It was a very stressful day. We didn't know how it would go but we are very pleased a lot of people have already received their beam kids and the feedback is what makes my heart feel really happy people love it. They think it tastes great and the kids love it, which is making me feel wonderful. You worked very hard on that and I'm very proud of you and the reception so far has been fantastic and if nobody else likes it our kids like it. There you go. If you want to learn more about that we can link it down below some traditions that we have for Valentine's Day in our family. We've done this since year one with Drew where we do a daddy-daughter day. I take you to a fancy brunch for breakfast usually go before school and we'll sit down have a little conversation. We're there for like 45 minutes, but just to see her excitement to see her get ready and make it a special event. It's like it's nothing crazy. We're just going to a restaurant and sitting down and eating but it's so special you usually dress up you put a tux on or suit for her. She puts on her most love like her favorite dress. She has me do her hair and she always asked me to put on a little bit of makeup for her. She wears high heels her high heels, but it's really special. It's it's a great tradition to teach drew in my opinion like to a certain extent courtship and like the respect but also this bond built between daddy-daughter. I think it's just really special on the flip side. I do the same thing with jet so jet and I usually go on a date. We will go to breakfast or we'll go to lunch or like something throughout the day. I think last year we went and got breakfast and had a blast. He got the world's biggest muffin. I remember and a smoothie and pancakes and all that boy can eat but it is fun because bear and I will go on our first date this year last year bear was a freshie. He wasn't even two months old. So I don't think we did the Valentine's date and I don't even think I was able to take jet on a date last year because of just how crazy life was but I'm excited to do each individually this year. There are seasons of life. There are good on rent. I have a question. Do you like Valentine's Day? Let me tell you my relationship with Valentine's Day because I feel like an elementary school middle school when you have little Valentine's boxes that you make and the best. Oh my gosh, you're made hers already and so did yet. Yes, and we got their classmates Valentine's gifts that they picked out. I used to love Valentine's Day. My mom was also used to make it really special where she'd leave a little trinket at the bottom of the stairs for us and card and is very nice. We'd have French toast, which is my favorite and and then in high school and college it kind of loses its luster. I feel like but once we started dating and then certainly once we got engaged and married it really did become a day where it was almost our only structured date night there for a while. Yeah, like the whole year. It was like we might not go on a on like a planned date any other time besides Valentine's especially dating well, because like we weren't doing like formal date since we were dating we were hanging out a lot. Yeah, like the formal date was like Valentine's. Yeah, and now as an old guy, I really I'm here for any and all reasons to celebrate and make fun occasions and memories through so I love Valentine's Day for the July Easter all the major holidays Christmas Thanksgiving. I'm even talking about it could be I world ice cream day. Let's make some fun out of it. Yeah, just because the kids I used to put make Valentine's a big deal in my mind, especially when we were dating like I wanted it to be like this grand showcasing of love however, now that we've been into marriage longer. I actually don't care about it because I don't want that to be the only day like we try for each other. Right, like go above and beyond and truly try to court and like showcase love and I feel like now you and I almost have a Valentine's Day every Yeah, and we're doing the same things we do on Valentine's Day and on Valentine's Day. We don't do gifts. We don't like go buy each other jewelry or like whatever. That's not our vibe. We'll go on a date night, but I think it should just be a reminder of life should look like you shouldn't just wait once a year to really tell a significant other. Oh, by the way, like I love you. I like it. But my pushback is my pushback is when you have this thought process of oh, you shouldn't need a day of the year to tell someone that you love them. It can easily one outcome of that can turn into well, then you end up never telling that person. I you interpreted that I might have said that wrong. You shouldn't need a day because it should be consistent. There shouldn't only be one day a year you go above and beyond to showcase love to your spouse. Yes, but what I like about it is at least you have one day of you because you know, some people some people wait for the mystical romance to hit and then they're like off if if you put it on the schedule, then it's it's too structured and rigid and it's not romantic. It's like no. Well, then maybe that ends up in never being romantic. Yeah, so in honor of Valentine's though, we wanted to do an episode about all the things that we would tell ourselves as newlyweds. We've grown a lot in marriage and it really is fun to look back and think wow, in those early years. We really were just trying to figure things out, you know, but I also feel like in the early years we thought we had it all together and I also feel like we're still figuring it out. We are but so whether you're married or engaged or dating or maybe you've been married for decades longer than we have or just yeah, maybe looking for a refresher. We've got some personal notes and stories to share. Do you remember what it was like getting married? It's almost nine years ago now. I do. I remember almost every detail of the whole day. Do you? I did too. I remember not having cufflinks. The guy said it looked like I had napkins hanging out my shirt. I remember my suit was so tight. It was hot. It was so hot. I remember like our first look. I remember getting oh my gosh. I'm getting ready at our house with all of my bridesmaids and girlfriends and my mom and your mom and your mom. Oh my total two cars in the same day, which let me put it this way. She didn't total cars in like a catastrophic way. So like nobody was injured. Everybody was fine, but we had this like what's it called? It's like a ditch in the in our dry like on either side of our driveway. And so when you pulled in and out of our driveway, you had to be really careful that you didn't fall off the driveway into the ditch and it was like a three-foot drop, but she went off and the cars underbelly got like hooked and by the time they got the car out, it was literally totaled. That was total car number one. That was during makeup and then she got like a rental car. Yeah, and I don't even know what happened but she like went off the interstate. No, it's it is one of those intersections where you take a left and you're on the wrong side of the road like off the end. Yeah, so it's a little confusing kind of but she got t-boned and that was total car number two. Yeah, that was right by the wedding venue. Yeah, remember dealing with like the paparazzi and the helicopter that was flying over taking pictures people were camped out in our bushes in our front yard. You can find those online Sean in a row, but if it I also don't remember being fazed by any of that. I I also remember our first look so we decided to do a first look because we didn't want we wanted to be able to go straight to the reception and not do like so many pictures in between and I loved doing our first look but I was so nervous. Yeah, I like we were mic'd up. Yeah, and I didn't even know what to say because in the back of my head is like people are listening to this. I was just so yeah, but I was so happy excitement is just the word that comes to mind where it's just raw excitement, you know, yeah, and we have been through hard conversations for sure stuff and had some things to figure out because you had moved to Nashville. There's a lot of conversations around that but you're still kind of we are still kids. We were we were 24 and we got married very yeah, so settling into careers and stuff. We're just beginning that process but you know, we hadn't had kids yet. We hadn't lost anybody close to us. And anyway, so excitement. It was just like all about the fun raw. I think something that Andrew and I got to experience which Andrew and I talk about this a lot the pros and cons to getting married young. And early on in your relationship versus people who get married later in life or date for like eight years and then they get married Andrew and I's marriage was truly like a leap of faith because which I believe in which because like on our wedding day, we were babies. We were young but we were vowing to each other. I have no idea like what is about to happen. We haven't done life together for eight years and now we're choosing to get married. We are just starting this journey and I vow to like be there with you and I have no idea what it's going to look like and to a certain extent even I could argue back in the day when we were 24 and we'd only been dating three years. Like we didn't really know who each other were fully. There's no way to know. There's a ton of situations that we had not been in together. Yeah, I know how we would respond etc. And it was truly just this like leap of faith of like here we go. And I always say I look back on our wedding day. And part of me wishes like we could get remarried right now to each other because you just you understand the weight and the magnitude of the situation and I love you now a million times more than I even loved you then and I thought then I couldn't love you anymore than I did because I was already on top of the world. A couple thoughts as you're speaking one people talk about I felt like we all had we had it all figured out back then. I don't feel like that was our approach. It was just it was just us being naive kind of and yeah, and not thinking about the potential negative ramifications and what's exciting about marriage is it epitomizes that idea of it's not what happens to you. It's how you respond to what happens to you or control what you can control because to your point there were so much that we had to learn that we still have yet to learn and if you're if you're approaching it with I got to wait until I make enough money or I get settled here. I figure this out that is like letting the uncontrollables control you. Yeah, how much you earn is not really fully up to you. You feeling settled is kind of an arbitrary ambiguous goal. So it's it's us planning the flag and saying I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know that we have the choice to stay together through whatever. Yeah, so that's kind of hype. I also think to a certain extent everything that you were just saying all of those things that people feel so like I don't feel settled enough. I'm not I don't know who I am enough. I haven't made enough money. I'm not in a place in my life to like get married, whatever. You're also to a certain extent in my mind because we've experienced this you're missing out on being able to navigate the rough parts of life with someone who can help you get better and get through stuff. And if you navigate those like ups and downs with someone, yeah, it's hard like you literally have another human to like get through these rough patches with but it makes the love in like the marriage so much stronger when you get through it. Yeah, and in that inevitably if you sit down and talk with a couple who has not had a lot of money that now might have a lot of money. Yeah, they always talk about all those early days where we were living in a tiny little apartment and didn't have enough money to buy food for the next day. Those are the good old days to them. That's how they're reflecting on like reminiscing. It's the same thing with kids. It's when you're in the thick of it as a parent raising a newborn. It feels like overwhelming but then you talk to any parent who has older kids are like you're going to miss it. Why is that? You know, because you like freaking struggle together and we even got married super young and I still look back on everything I experienced before you and I'm like day. I wish you were there for that. I know. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Have you ever stopped to think about what you want your story to be for the year? Andrew and I have been talking about this because we know how easy it is to let your goals fade come February and we really want to stay on track. I actually read a statistic recently that said around 80% of goals fade by mid-February. That means that only 20% of people stay on track. A great way to stay on track with your goals this year is therapy. Think of therapy as a way to create the meaningful story that you deserve to live. Therapy has benefited us individually and as a couple for years. 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If I can remember this for the rest of my life and our marriage, I think it's most beautiful thing in the world. But I'm a friend who's gone through a rough patch in life. And she literally said you have two choices when you go through rough patches. You can either dig in or you can run away. And I feel like there's a question here that says what do you think world's view of marriage is today? I think the world's view of marriage is if things get rough, it must not be meant to be so high tail it out and go find the person you're actually supposed to be with and I thought it was so beautiful the way she said I'm digging in I'm here. I chose this person and like we are going to see through it. And I think marriage is the world view of marriage is so anti that but that's so beautiful. The thing that's so beautiful about marriage is trusting that at your lowest. You've got someone who's got your back to pick you up and like get through it with yeah. That's good. I had not heard that from you. Thanks for sharing. Yeah, let's roll into the episode. Here are 20 things. We would tell ourselves as newlyweds one. You just made the best decision of your whole life men about that. I agree. What's fun is at the time we got married. I did not really like weddings. I thought it was a waste of money. Oh my gosh, we're spending so much money on this wedding. It's so overwhelming. Why are we stressing out about inviting all these people? Let's go with Lope. I would I was big on getting alone. You said that recently that you still wish we would have a lot that haunts me alone. No, no, no, I don't wish we look now looking back on it. It is such a it's such a wonderful excuse to celebrate. That's how I feel now. It's like never again. Will you get that opportunity? Well, and I also like more so now even than I did back then because back then I thought it was an obligation now. I think it's like a beautiful part of the ceremony. So like if you're able to have a large wedding, you're literally taking your vows in front of the community of people that will hopefully help you in your journey of marriage to stay together, right? Then when something happens, you're going to go have a conversation with one of those people sitting in that audience and say break. You won't believe what happened and hopefully they'll say let's figure this out for sure, right? That's good. Marriage is beautiful. It's challenging and it's also worthwhile. It has the power to transform you in amazing ways. I've experienced that. I was laughing. I went on a riverboat trip last year one week floating down the river Huck Finn style for a buddy's bachelor party and it's like I really felt at home there. I was like this could have been in a parallel universe. Andrew would be floating down the river on a daily basis. Probably not have a job live on just dollars a day. You know, what's funny is you've said this so many times but you chose to go to Vanderbilt and get your MBA. There's never a world. I was just dead set on football and then I just took the next thing that was ahead of me. Anyway, but you have transformed me into whatever iteration of Andrew this is. It's really fascinating and I was a crippling Lee insecure paralyzed by perfection. Just like people-pleasing person who could not function and you've probably to your demise. You've made the opposite. You stubborn little are you talking about? All right. So what we tell ourselves. Congratulations on making such a huge commitment to each other. It really is so special number to your spouse will change over time. That's right. We actually read this book highly recommend. It's called meaning of marriage and it actually says within the book the person you marry on your wedding day is not the person you will be with five years from now and that person is not the person you'll be with 10 years from now. Everyone changes. They go through roller coasters. They go through phases of life. They mature they go through lows and highs and you they just change people change and that's okay. And so you have to evolve with them. You don't marry somebody though trying to change them. Yes, but you agree. I think it's marrying somebody with an understanding that change will happen like I'm a completely different person as a mom than I was. Am I am I the same person that you married on our wedding day? I say it's different being married to a mom. For sure. Yeah, it's like holy crap. While we were chilling vibing next thing, you know, saluting I got fallen live. Oh man, but but this has struck me. I think it was like three years into marriage where I was really struck with how much of responsibility it is because you are the greatest influence of change for your spouse. So like if you are uncontrollable with your emotions or how you deal with conflict or respond that is going to rub off like yeah, you know I'm saying yeah, so it's it takes so much responsibility to give them as unbiased as you can clear feedback that they need to hear right? It's not you're not each other's coach, but it's like this precious really intimate like sensitive. Hey, that's not okay for you to do. That's not okay for you to treat me like that. That's not okay for you to be selfish and XYZ ways and then and then having the patience to say that time after time after time after time for year after year after year until finally there's there's movement that starts happening. It's crazy. You have the power to bring your spouse up or tear them to the ground. Yeah, you are the most trusted person in their life. You have to be very aware of that. That's right. I'm going to add one here because this hit me about seven years into marriage. So about two two years ago the concept of beneficial adversary, you know, I freaking love this. You'll love it. So the the Hebrew word for Adam as in Adam and Eve from the Bible. The first man and woman means beneficial adversary. Okay, and when I think about that concept thinking about almost two rams butting heads in a way that strengthens each other, right? Yeah, feel that it's like this tug and tug of war in some senses. Yeah. Well, that's not the right image. That's not the right metaphor to make but it is not just an adversary right? Your differences make you make each other stronger and you usually get married because of your differences and then you start resenting your differences and you just need to always remember that those differences are why you got together in the first place and they make you better. Yes, it takes a certain softness of heart though to to realize that took me seven years to realize but it's like dang. She's giving me this feedback because she loves me. She's she is selflessly. Did you remember that last night? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, but it wasn't until I started Jiu-Jitsu that I understood this concept of like taking something that the other person is giving you and turning it into something else. That's a good metaphor. We have 20 of these to get there. You're next. Sometimes you just got to let things go. I should learn this. I should work on this. It says don't sweat the small stuff all the time. It can be helpful to just let the little things go and not blow it up into something bigger than it needs to be. Yes. I will work on it. No, move on. Okay, number four. Number four is for you. Body language can speak louder than words. You can be saying one thing with your body and your body language be saying another. Yes. What? My body language is chill. My tone sometimes. Same thing. I'm still confused about this one. So we got to work on we got to we need a lesson in tone. Okay. No, that's fine. I would still tell myself that on our wedding day and I'd tell myself that right now. What? Body language and speak louder than words. Also, Sean didn't really care about the words you say. It's only just about how you say it. So you can say good, but it got the goober. It's like talking to Nash as long as you use a high-pitched happy tone. Exactly. Yeah. But also if you say the wrong word, she'll remember it for decades. So that's okay. Next marriage is so worth fighting for we this is exactly what I was saying. Today's world is hard because it can be tempting for people to just throw in the towel when the going gets tough, but creating something that will last is so beautiful and it is worth the work. I promise. Are you the type of person that can stay married? I should I should praise that. What do you mean? Well, we mentioned this the other day that we that we read people who were surveyed and were considering divorce when surveyed again five years later. They were very happy. Oh, they were in the upper quartile of happy couples, right? Quartile. Yeah, 25 25% meaning. There are going to be phases in any relationship always so. Push through them, right? Yeah, and then. Because if you get divorced for whatever reason, all right, there are there are reasons there are but if you're like, oh, I just I'm not happy because of this feeling that to will pass. You might get married to another person and then inevitably there'll be another conflict that you're like, okay. So are you the type of person that can just do that? Also, I hesitate to say that because we've been married nine years. We have a long run. We do ahead of us, you know, you better buckle up. I know but I'm just saying you're not getting out of this one. I'm just saying we've made it nine years. We've not made it until one of us is kicked the bucket in 90 years. That's right. Anyway next let's summarize a few of these because these are great. Some seasons will be hard. We've reiterated this in many different ways. You will go through valleys and lows and it is a roller coaster. But if you can persevere through that the benefit and the reward is so much greater than having to start over the depth of connection and of love gets so amplified in those tough times. Yeah, number seven. It's okay to need personal space. And I give you personal. I love you. I'm like, I'm a golden retriever. I just need to be attached to you all the time. You get your workout in. I do my workout at 530 because that's the only time I can and then sometimes she'll just like peek out there and then I'm like in the middle of hard exercises. She's trying to have this conversation and then she'll be offended when I'm like, hey, can we do this later? Oh, I'm sorry. You have a wife that just wants to spend time with you all the time. Number eight. Managing expectations is key. Manage your expectations and understand that your partner won't fulfill every need you have. I'm still learning this one. Expectations are a fickle fickle compass. Yeah, what is the right approach to this because in some ways our conversations are expect less of me is what I'm saying to you and you're like, no, I expect more. I expect the most out of you and it's kind of this interesting dichotomy. Where my point is I'm not perfect expect me to let you down, you expect me to let you down. But I'm not I'm going to do everything I can to not you know, I'm saying so how do we how to communicate you're saying this in a very odd way that people can misconstrue. Okay. I think when you say words like expect me to fail expect me to let you down. I understand it. You're saying I will not be perfect. None of us will be but how you say it. Leaves room to justify mistakes instead of acknowledging that your spouse expects a lot from you. Because I believe so much in you a hundred percent. So it would do you a disservice and it would do it a spouse a disservice to say I don't expect anything from you because that is in a way in my mind communicating. I don't have standards for you. I agree with you. Honestly. I'm struck by how much of a parallel this is to the Christian concept of saved by grace and not work where it's like you don't need works, but they're good. I think different words in grace is like I have such high standards for you. Yeah, I will always give you grace and I will always work to have grace when things happen, but that will never change that you and I have high standards for each other. I think I've grown to appreciate high standards because that's sharpened me as a man. Yeah, I don't know any way around it. I don't know. It's it's sometimes I don't like it though. And I think I think the expectation thing though is goes back to the fulfillment where it's like I cannot fulfill your every need so expect me to not you know, and I understand the expectations when it comes to fulfilling my needs. I think where you and I differ in our conversations around this is I have high expectations and standards for you when it comes to like parenting and your potential and your it's more so that I can work on like executing not having such high expectations to like fulfill any need that I have is that's a personal thing that's not on you, but my standards. I don't feel like would respect you if I lowered them in regards to your potential. I appreciate that. Yeah, and that's one thing I love about our marriage is you ruthlessly expect high things from me big things from me in a great way because you are a boss but what but I'm trying to think of a better way to say this. It's almost like it's my fault of letting you down or my problem your grace for those problems is your problem. So then we both have problems with them, but I also think maybe within communication. This is something everyone can work on to is understanding and we've learned this in another podcast. I can't remember who it was with. I don't know my expectations my standards and maybe this is where you're having the conversation of like expect less is my expectations of my standards have nothing to do with your value. So like if you were to do nothing even with my high standards high expectations, it does not change your value as a husband and a father and a spouse. We should try that out. Do I have it? I'm not if you would like no, no, I don't I don't actually don't want that at all. That does feel a little unhealthy that you would be like actively choosing and okay, but you see what I mean? Yes next don't let resentment creep in. This is number nine. If something is bothering you nip it in the bud early on and talk about it. Same goes for holding a grudge talk about it. So you can let it go time and intimate relationships. We learned this from Karl Pillmer 30 lessons on living and intimate relationships time does not heal in most scenarios. It'll actually drive a deeper wedge. Yeah, so work on that goes from actively. Yeah. Now peace. So we just did this huge counseling thing. We've mentioned before. The big takeaway was peace is up to you, right? We're able to achieve peace. I think through faith and it's not what happens to you tell you respond to it. And if no matter what happens if it's something that does that does merit resentment, it's your choice still where you're like, okay. No, I'm kind of like working through life and I'm not letting anything stick to me. I'm kind of just vibing through life jiu-jitsu. You know, I'm saying it's like, okay. All right, we're going to roll off this one. Take it off the chin freaking go for it. Next thing I have one go ahead. I read this and I say I think about like our counseling and everything we've learned and like it's a choice resentment is a choice and I think it's a practice and it's a practice of the opposite to keep resentment out and I don't know why this made me think of it. But back in gymnastics my coach taught me this practice training regimen thing where he would give me an assignment. He would say before you go to bed. I want you to close your eyes in bed and I want you to picture yourself doing a beam routine, whatever picture yourself doing it perfectly 10 times in a row the second you start picturing a mistake you wipe the slate clean and have to start over and I think you would what surprised me what surprised you guys if you try this is it is so difficult to picture yourself doing something perfectly in it your body naturally in your mind naturally. I think because it's society in the world wants to like think about the flaws the mistakes the negativity the what-ifs and you start spiraling down a black hole and it becomes this like practice of mental strength to stay on the positive side and I think with the resentment. I think it's an active practice of like if you start having negative thoughts in your mind towards your spouse stop it like catch it mid-sentence and wipe it clean like ah, we're not going there. Does that make sense? Yeah, I love it. I still think you need to talk about things. Yes, but you should not let yourself in our counselor even told me this. She's like you should not be letting yourself lay in bed and stew over. I can't believe he said this. I can't believe he did this. How could he like that nothing good comes of that a couple thoughts. That was great. One this almost deserves online, but there are simultaneously wonderful traits about you and frustrating traits about you like what resentment happens. I think when you fixate or ruminate on the negative pressure, that's what I'm saying. It's an active choice of like what are you going to think about right and it is a mental discipline to focus on the positive things and it doesn't come. This is part B to what I'm what I'm thinking. It doesn't come from an ignorance or being aloof or detached or apathetic. No, like that ability to tap into peace or focus on the positive. It comes from. I think a healthy detachment might be a good way to put it. It's a prioritization of realizing Sean doesn't have the top seat as far as human relationships top seat. Yes, but as far as as far as what my source of value comes from it's not the top seat so that that becomes a really important thing where it's like you're able to say, okay, she might not respond the way I wanted to she might not give me the love languages. I need right now when I need them, but I still feel loved because the top seat is taken next. Some people may be negative about marriage. I want to summarize this in one thing. Aging isn't something I really thought about until I became a dad of three and I've learned that as you age your body's natural healing and building processes slow down. It's totally normal, but that doesn't mean that there's nothing you can do about it. A collagen supplement from Agent Nutrition can help you feel and look your best. I take their collagen supplement every single day. 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We were given a wonderful piece of advice that I feel like you and I do really well on and you have to like commit to it, but the day you get married, you should start before then. The day you get married.