🔰Fox News Kamala Harris Interview Cold Open - SNL

Good evening, I'm Bret Baier, and to clear the air, yes, I do look like someone made a businessman in Minecraft. Tonight I am speaking to Vice President Kamala Harris. Let's welcome her now to Fox News. Thank you, Bret. It's a pleasure to have you here with us. Thank you, Bret. The pleasure is neither of ours. Thank you, Madam Vice President. Now, when I interviewed President Trump, my first question was, what do you think is the most important issue facing our nation? So my first question for you is, give me the exact number of murderers you let loose in this country. Well, Bret, I'm glad you brought up the topic of immigration. A million? Two million? Okay. The first thing we did in office was to introduce a bill. Ten million? Give me a number. Bret, we came up with a bipartisan bill. But did it have a number, though? May I please finish? I'm asking you to. Well, then you have to listen. Well, I can't because I'm talking. Well, when will you stop? Maybe when I go to bed? Okay. Bret, look. I am the only candidate who has prosecuted transnational criminal organizations. I brought down the Sinaloa cartel. I brought down the Guadalajara cartel. If I was in Breaking Bad, it would have ended in three episodes. Madam Vice President, are you here to answer questions or just looking for a viral moment? Oh, please. I am not looking for a viral moment. See how I don't let men interrupt my answers? Very demure. Very mindful. Okay, now you're just throwing out memes. That is not true. I am here to reach across the aisle. Hundreds of Republicans have endorsed me because in the club, we all fan. I'm not familiar with the club. But are we all fan? You've been pretty divisive. You've called Donald Trump unfit. Yes. Unstable. Yeah. Not able to lead. Period. Unchecked. Did I stutter? Look, Donald Trump talks about the enemy within. He said he would turn the military on the American people. We actually asked the former president about this today. Take a look. Mr. President, thank you for coming to this women's town hall full of undecided women voters who we found at a Trump rally. Now Kamala Harris has called you unhinged and a danger. What do you say to that? You know, I heard about that. They said I was threatening. Not true. I would never threaten anything except perhaps violence. But they do phony investigations. OK. I've been investigated more than Alphonse Capone, who famously did nothing wrong. Scarface. Al Pacino. Pacino, you know, he said he briefly died from COVID. One of the great hoaxes, you know, that was started by Joe Biden. The Biden crime family. Right. Families are disappearing. You know, kids are kids are going back to school and they're coming back a different gender. You know, they're going to Zoltars and they're coming back big. It's really a shame. You know, they're switching bodies. They're doing Freaky Fridays and Hannah Montana's. You know, we're a failing country. America is a terrible place full of jerks and idiots, but we love it. It's really bad. With all due respect, that is not the right clip. Well, actually, it was. No. Well, he answered. He who? Look. No. You are going to. Like. The. Way. You. Look. I guarantee it. OK. Enough, Lego man. Just. Just play the correct clip of Donald Trump. Fine. Roll it. YMCA. Let's get this thing going. YMCA. We're doing your music. I think you have to admit he makes a pretty compelling argument. Look, he can dance all he wants to YMCA or to any other song he doesn't realize is a gay anthem. This election is about contrast. At my rallies, there's Beyonce and joy and bathrooms. At his rallies, he won't pay for the buses and hundreds of elderly people got to walk back to their car six miles through the desert like an Old Testament fire festival. So you're saying Trump voters are misguided? Are they stupid? Oh, no, I would never say that. Who can't think for themselves? Are they morons? Slack jaws? Stump pumpers? Cross-eyed meatheads? Brett, but you're trying real hard to make me say something bad. But they're at least fat, right? Some of them are very fat. OK, Brett, let's move on. OK, fine. So you're not denying that they're fat? Oh, my dear God. You're very sexy when you're angry, you know that? Yes, I do. Next question. I want to ask you about Joe Biden. Here's what he recently said about you and your candidates. the deal. It's a total tragedy. I'm not kidding around. Everything she touches will be destroyed. No joke. Watch out, Florida! Brett, Brett, he's clearly talking about the hurricane. He said, watch out, Florida. Why do you keep playing these misleading clips? I don't. But here's some more. Folks, we have other problems on our hands. I'm being serious. Come on. Four years ago, it was amazing. It was the guy he wanted. But now they got this girl. And people are going, what's she doing here? Come on. Okay. But you and I both know he's talking about the new Joker movie with Lady Gaga. Can you keep rolling it, please? Why is she singing? What's a foal do? What's a ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga? What is it? Come on. No Joker. No joke. Okay. Maybe you're right, but while... while we're on the topic, when did you first notice that Joe Biden's mental faculties were diminished? Brett, I have watched Joe Biden from the Oval Office to the Situation Room. And Joe Biden is J-bright. He is J-brilliant. But my presidency will J-basically J-be J-billion times J-better. So your presidency would be different than Biden's? Of course. We're very different. For example, I am comfortable saying the word abortion. Gah! You can't handle that, Brett? Abortion. Gah! Uterus. No! Menstruation. You're lying! I've got to hit her back with the male equivalent of balls! Okay, Brett, I can handle that. I am here doing an interview with an openly hostile network, and Trump has canceled all of his interviews. That's not true. Donald Trump just did a town hall with his sworn enemy Univision. Let's take a look. Mr. President, I want to give you the opportunity to win back my vote after what happened on January 6th. But why would I support you? I'm just gonna make it crystal clear, okay? January 6th was a day of love, all right? Love and peace. It was basically Woodstock. People were being peaceful. No one died, except for the few that did. And so, now that I've got your vote, let's dance. It's raining men! Does he not listen to the lyrics? Before we wrap up, tell us why the American people should vote for you. Because I have a plan. But what is it? Well, I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to listen. Then stop talking. I don't know how. Just shut your mouth. I don't think it does. Okay. May I finish? Go ahead. The American people... Not now, though. The American people... Are you excited for Wicked? The American people are... That was fun, right? I had fun. We're out of time. Thanks for joining me. Okay. Before I go, can I just say the thing I've been trying to say this whole time? Fine, go ahead. Live from New York, it's Saturday Night Live!