Every parent strives to be the best parent they can be. To nature and be there for their kids from the moment they’re born until they reach adulthood. And because sometimes you might question your parenting skills and wonder whether you’re doing the right thing or not, so in this video, we’ll share with you a few ways to be a good parent if you aren’t already.
Timestamp 00: 19 Boost your child’s self-esteem 01:29 Set limits and be consistent with your discipline 02:46 Make time for your kids 04:01 Set a good example 05:49 Let communication be on centre stage 07:33 Always express your conditional love 08:44 Know your needs and limitations as a parent
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Every parent strives to be the best parent they can be. To nurture and be there for their kids
from the moment they're born until they reach adulthood. And because sometimes you might
question your parenting skills and wonder whether you're doing the right thing or not,
below are a few ways to be a good parent if you aren't already.
1. Boost Your Child's Self-Esteem From the moment they're born and they see
themselves through the eyes of their parents, kids begin to develop their sense of self.
They take in the sound of your voice, all your expressions and body language.
The things you do and say will always affect how they develop their self-esteem.
As a parent, you should always praise your child's accomplishments however small
as this makes them feel proud of themselves. Allowing them to do things on their own makes
them feel strong and capable. Belittling them on the other hand by saying nasty things or
comparing them with another child makes them feel inadequate. The negative things you say
have the same effect as a physical blow would. Always choose your words carefully. Your kids
should always know that everyone makes mistakes and that although you don't like their behavior,
you still love them. Self-esteem is important for anybody's success in life. When a child feels
secure and confident, he or she is more likely to succeed in school and personal goals. The older
they get, kids learn how to face problems and back away from peer pressure. Moreover, having a
self-image helps a child feel happy and very capable of forming and maintaining personal
relationships. 2. Set limits and be consistent with your discipline.
Discipline is one of those things that has to be instilled in every home. It helps children behave
themselves and practice self-control. Putting certain rules in place helps your kids understand
what you expect of them. And while in previous generations discipline was associated with
punishment, nowadays discipline is viewed as setting certain limits to your kids or teaching
them how to get along with the world. By setting limits, parents are not only showing their children
what they should say or do, they also assist them in managing their impulses and anxieties.
Limits are put in place to make kids feel safe and therefore starting early is vital.
Also, let them know that choices have consequences. If they fail to do something,
they might get a time out or lose certain privileges and following up is just as important.
Some parents are inconsistent and fail to go through with the consequences.
You might discipline them for running around the house, for example this time,
but fail to do so the next. And this only confuses the child more.
It's natural for kids to misbehave the older they get. They seek adventure and have strong impulses
and have the need to feel more self-reliant. What parents can do is work with these issues
that are result of development in a positive and instructive manner.
3. Make time for your kids
As a parent trying to make a living to support your children, it might be challenging to find
time to spend with them. You get up way early and barely get to see them and then come back very
late in the evening. As hard as it can be, making time for the kids is something they'll always
value and appreciate. If it means getting home a bit earlier to tuck them in, then do so. Make
every moment with them count. In most cases, kids who don't receive the level of attention
they would like tend to act out and misbehave as a way to be seen and heard. It's not unheard
of to have kids who pick on others in school, which can be linked to inattentive or absent
parents. There are always ways to make time for them. Have at least one day a week set aside
where you can do something together and allow them to have their pick at what they'd like to do.
You could also write little notes to them or place something special in their lunch bag
just to remind them that you're always thinking of them. As kids get older, they may not require
as much attention, but that doesn't mean they don't want to connect with you. Take the time
to get to know them better, what they like, what they don't like, what they want to do in life,
and so on. Don't feel guilty if you're a working parent. It's the small things that are truly
memorable to a child. 4. Set a good example
Young kids learn a lot about how to act by simply observing their parents.
Before you do or say something, remember that there's someone who watches your every move.
If they see you hitting or throwing stuff when you're angry or upset,
they'll most likely do the same in a similar situation. And that's not what you want for them.
Studies show that kids who act out and hit usually have a role model at home who does the same.
If you want your kids to be kind and friendly towards others, do the same yourself. Express
your gratitude when someone gives you something or does something nice. Let them see you sharing
and speaking kindly to others, and they'll do the same. The way you treat others is the same way
they will too. You have countless opportunities to live a life worth emulating. Visualize what
it is that you'd like your children to learn from you, and do all you can to model it into your life.
Mistakes will definitely come up along the way, and things won't go as planned,
but there's nothing wrong with that. Instead of scolding yourself, talk to your kids about it,
and let them understand that everyone makes mistakes and how you hope to do better next time.
If you handle poor decisions well, for example, and don't stick to it so much,
kids learn not to beat themselves up too when they mess up.
Let the experience be a teaching moment. So much can be learned when you make a mistake.
Before we continue, I'd like to know, are you getting any value so far? If you are, kindly do
me a huge favor by hitting the like button. If you did, you're awesome, and thank you so much
for your support. 5. Let communication be on center stage.
Kids will always want to know why they have to do something, and saying because you said so
just doesn't cut it. They want and are entitled to explanations as much as you as an adult are.
Remember that you were a kid once, and probably felt the same way. Failing to explain your reasons
makes kids question your values and always wonder whether what you want them to do has any basis.
Reasoning with them gives them the opportunity to learn and understand
in a way that is free from judgment. Make your expectation clear and straightforward.
If an issue arises, say what it is and express your feelings towards it. Engage with your children
and allow them to come up with a remedy for it. Give your suggestions and offer choices,
but also remember to put their thoughts and suggestions into consideration too.
They'll be more excited about doing something if they have a say in it.
So remember that communicating isn't just about talking. It's also about listening and sensing
your child's thoughts and feelings. A lot of parents claim that they have great intuition
when it comes to their kids and that they simply know when something's off. But this isn't always
the case. You have to talk to them to get to know what's really going on. Parenting becomes more
enjoyable and satisfying when you develop a positive parent-child relationship. Whether
you're parenting a toddler or a teenager, good and effective communications is crucial for building
self-respect and mutual respect. 6. Always express your conditional love
You have a responsibility as a parent to guide your kids and correct them when they do something
wrong. But the way you handle it makes all the difference on how your child will receive it.
A time will come when you'll have to confront your child, but whatever you do, never blame or
criticize as this lowers their self-esteem and also makes them resent you. Even when disciplining
them, try to encourage and uplift instead of seeking fault. They should understand that
although you expect them to do better next time, you will always love them. It's obvious that kids
need their parents' unconditional love and support. A parent's love should not be dependent on their
behavior. As much as you discipline and set limits for them, always reassure them that you
love them. Withholding your love only makes them feel bad about themselves. Parents sometimes make
the mistake of telling a child that they're bad because of something they've done, but all the
child gets from this is that they're bad and not the behavior itself. Instead, try and explain why
their behavior is unacceptable. 7. Know your needs and set limitations as a parent
No one can honestly say that they're a perfect parent, and that's because such a person doesn't
exist. Your kids will mostly think highly of you, but you know that you're not as perfect as they
think you are. You make mistakes, and that's understandable. You're human after all.
Try to have realistic expectations about yourself, your spouse, and your children.
You won't always have the right answers, so don't give yourself a hard time. When it comes to your
parenting skills, focus on areas that need your attention more than trying to handle everything
all at once. When you're a bit worn out, admit it and take some time off for yourself if you can.
No one will fault you for trying to take care of yourself. And the better and happier you feel,
the better role model you are for your kid. Aside from not comparing your children to others,
it's also important not to compare yourself with other parents. It's hard not to, but you'll feel
inclined to try and be like other parents and adopt their parenting style. But you only end
up second-guessing yourself in the process. Just because one style of parenting works for
one person in particular doesn't guarantee that it'll work for another. You might even end up
poor decisions as a result. Trust your gut and just go with it.
So, as you go along on your journey through parenthood, remember that there will be
challenges along the way. Your kids will definitely learn a lot, but so will you.
There's no perfect root, no perfect child, and no perfect parent. So cut yourself some slack,
and whenever you feel you've failed, be ready to pick yourself up and keep going.
If you are interested in learning more, check out this Mindvalley course
called Conscious Parenting Mastery, which I'll leave a link to in the description.
In the course, you'll discover a new model of parenting Oprah called
revolutionary and life-changing, so you can create the ideal environment for your children
to thrive and blossom into their most authentic self with conscious parenting expert,
Dr. Shivali Savari. So, do check it out. Well, thank you guys so much for watching.
If you liked the video, go ahead and give it a thumbs up. Also, if you're new to the channel,
welcome, and subscribe for more content like this. With that said,
have a great day you guys, and I'll see you in the next one.