From Anger to Awakening

It's a sensation that I have inside, that is very strong and is about an anger that is there and and the sun that maybe there is a personality that is thinking that this is another face of love, that is another face of love and then I but I saw now I see that is not useful you know because then these people don't feel this love if I go in this anger and I I want I want to leave it I don't want to have any more this also because I just I really feel it also in physically you know at the moment that something is is consuming is consumed yes really I don't I don't once we come to recognize something that all the things in the life that you consider your life all of it comes out of the basket of personhood if we can get to this thing it's not difficult we don't have to be digging too much the only attitude you know that everything to do with why is this happening to me and I want this and it's not working or yeah I want this and I I and we look at the things why is it failing why it's not working why da da da da or you know it worked before and when I was this it used to be like that and all of this thing all of that is contained in the bubble of personal identity it is the wages of the personal identity you see if we try to fix one thing and for now you may say okay actually this is better now but another thing may come and another and another and those who have been looking find that oh my god there's no end to pruning this tree it's always something more leaves are coming up and like this not is it a hopeless situation no there's growth people do become what is growth in a way it is only becoming less mental about life and less personal that's what's happening and there's a that's the big river of growth for human beings we get we get less selfish the more reflective at some point someone shows you how to not identify with things so much it is a journey it's going but for some reason I am always looking for shortcut because anything less seems like is just more more places to keep going on to and on to and perhaps this is because we do have a very strong desire for our life to work naturally we want the life to work but personally but the person doesn't work I don't know who is ready to hear that the person is mostly trouble if you don't come to that understanding yet a little bit because just a little looking start to show that well you know like there's either one thing or another and there's this thing and you get better and I'm getting better and I saw this thing I'm not as bad as I used to be and that story is you can have volumes you can have write a book about your person bigger than the bible if you want it's like that and the thing is like there's a the seeming illusion is that if I only sort this and that I'll be okay and so the trip goes on like that so at some point I don't want to tackle that forest like this only I want to rather than doing that just to help to show you who you truly are in all of that and as it's going to be apart from more subtle than the personal idea you have of yourself even the personal idea the most intimate idea we have of ourself is also always changing different things keep changing so you we can never get you get it right now finally I am really where I need to be and who I need to have to be and got the right relationship I've got the right place of everything is right for how long can be that and it's not that life has something particularly only against you it's like anywhere kingdoms kingdoms crumble because of this thing I'm only saying that it's not a curse somehow through this we are learning and to let go of so many projections very often and to come to a much more intimate realization of self that the success of yourself is not outside it must be here for this reason we point and introduce help people to to look like through the invitation to freedom to to leave all the things that we are juggling juggling juggling just for a moment and to look at and from the place where you really are and for most human beings have no idea that there's a space beyond our person and not beyond that way but beyond this way satsang is for this so rather than fixing you know this problem and that problem and with whatever help and their help along the way but in the end sometimes it's so small to come to the very heart of your own awareness you find that real happiness flourishes for you and it doesn't have to be like I don't want to have nothing to do with people not that but the way in which you can then relate with others becomes so much more natural no strategies can you imagine to be flowing in your life without strategizing without hiding and trying to be just from yourself yourself is complete enough when we are awake to that when you are clear in this you may put it in one way these things and that thing another one this thing and that thing and I accept it that for now it's like this but to really go beyond into the purity of yourself there must be something that says okay I am I'm open to look otherwise our victories are momentary and I know that you are searching for this if I were to say like even at this point without asking okay that someone else comes no you stay here and I say if you are open again I say if you're open right now to see where I'm speaking from to if you want to verify for yourself are you up for this exploration if it takes just a few minutes yes okay it is what we've been sharing if I say if someone were to come and say I would really um I really wish for my life to be really rooted in true understanding a true life for myself and I want to find that place that you speak of or I see people here and seeming in a place of stillness and peace and they're not pretending I really feel it in their presence and I I feel I'm called for this and is it possible so yes it is when should I come now is good now is good I don't want to send you away now is good okay what I should do okay and then right now I say whatever belongs to past for the minute past right up to the last moment anything to do with the past what you have done in your life where you have studied you know who you've met how many things have happened to you can we just for a short period of time five ten minutes not to talk about that just leave it to the side is it possible for everybody to do that just for now and leave everything about past the memories just don't destroy just say don't include for a moment leave it to the side it's possible yeah okay and then on this side anything to do with future my hopes and aspirations what I'd like to see in the world as this man said also even for my father coming everything anything to do with from now onwards also don't don't get engaged with that for a moment it's it's good so here everything to do with past we won't speak about it don't just leave it for the moment at the end of our little exercise we go back and take it because nobody's going to steal it so anything to do with your thoughts and idea of self anything to the path just leave it for now for the future also there'll be concern so only now we have present this present moment now in the present moment which is how life is lived life is lived always in present presence in the present moment don't put any desire in there also don't put any any attachment in there it's possible can I have some feedback tell you that we are okay so like this so past we leave future about what you'd like and it may feel for some people oh but how can I leave that if you're not able to every night you leave it every night you go to bed you have to leave past and future and even present and family and relationship even your personal identity you cannot take into that place but now in the waking state today I'm asking let's just explore something and see if this is what you're searching for to the past no to the future no to the present moment don't put anything in this nothing in present basket at all okay so in fact not holding anything at all don't hold even a shape of yourself you know that this is who I am I'm sitting here in front of Mooji and even any shape you may have for yourself is it possible just to kind of like leave that for a moment can we be really empty just for a moment or is it unbearable is it unbearable so not to engage so not past no future and present moment even the desire even the desire for enlightenment I said don't touch even this totally empty okay not in my don't imagine you don't need imagine just your choice you know I don't engage with anything engage with nothing you with me empty empty not holding anything now we're going to look just at what remained now no past no future present now don't engage with anything at all does it feel unhealthy I would appreciate some just another something not unhealthy it's possible you're not a container of thoughts and feelings and emotions you're not holding anything at all even if they're there not holding like this so if everything that I mentioned could be taken out just taken out one by one all your thoughts concerns troubles aspirations everything left aside everything everything everything everything everything your history everything okay there will remain that which cannot be moved cannot be taken out it's not information it's not desire it's not time it's right now just here but not waiting don't be waiting for something just be aware of here without giving a shape to it just here conscious and I have to ask you to to do this because if you truly do it I just leave everything and so simple is it difficult just this now you're here now I want to ask some simple simple question to you from this place of hereness okay and you may respond yes or no or not just verify for yourself what I'm asking when all this of past memories and projections about future and idea of self and desires and attachments are just left alone for a little bit just this already there is a spaciousness in you may I ask you whatever remains now does it have any shape at all just now is whatever it is that is here I'm just going to call it the is or the isness whatever just is is it an object no only you can verify no one else can help you only you can see is it a mood not a mood is it a belief whatever is here is it belief is there any desire in it justice justice this is there spatially any limitation some boundary beyond which it does not exist anymore don't imagine directly perceived is is it a measurement is it like above or below does it have a sense of being inside or outside does it have any of these definitions just just what's here very good this that is here are you creating it or it simply is not creating simply being aware can it fade meaning that you know okay after now the end of satsang is gone away can it go away response can can it go away no no no did it come does it have a name no name is it religious is it personal is it personal just as you are not creating only open is there any desire here does it have is there any judgments here no no judgment may I ask you can this can it be sick or depressed are you looking can it be sick or depressed does it have a beginning or end trust you're looking you're not creating don't imagine can anyone own it was it born or created now I'm going to ask something can it die or be destroyed just your simple response from your heart can it be destroyed can anything exist apart from it is there a region called outside of it can even the mind exist outside of it is it a dream can it be blocked come on I trust your reaction can it be blocked or suppressed yes okay be open this is is there something here to be open or closed as this again is it personal is there any temperature here can it be defined as light or dark then may I ask something your response is are they produced by thought or just by seeing this that I'm speaking of this this can it belong to any race or nation of people and not to others then okay and finally I ask for now how close are you to it how many steps away is there separation must you make some direction to reach it if you were to sneeze would it go away is it something that needs to be protected I ask you only to leave your involvement about past or future or even personal identity and its projection and desires and attachment just suspend for a moment don't destroy it just leave it aside for the moment and you show that you can to leave everything aside for the moment see if nothing is touched nothing is picked up not even a name nothing at all here then I just want to ask some questions simple questions not creative questions simple like a child's question what remains here does it have a form does it have shape you say no it has no shape is it a feeling or a mood you say no it's not feeling it's not mood does it have desire does it have desire does it have anger or frustration does it have past or future I asked you I asked this question can it fade say no I say is there a boundary beyond which it does not exist say can it be sick or depressed you said no cannot be sick or depressed can it be lost can it be possessed can it be used by one group of people against another can the mind exist outside of it say can it die was it born no does it have age and all these questions you respond to without having to go to research on google or to go and imagine just from your own space you can speak like this I ask you is it a belief you say no it's not belief is a particular religion you say no it's not religion then finally I ask something what would you have to do to reach it there's no distance therefore if these things are so what you are aware of and sharing like this is yourself that is the inmost truth does it need to be believed in I'll say okay fine as I said just a few moments the exercise is over now you can go back and pick up your past and future and all the things that the light would trouble you will it make a difference to this well we will see is there a honoring of this knowingness or perceiving are you back into you have you just gone back into your person or what you say yes but daily life goes on you know I have to feed my kids you have to do this and do this this this this who is doing it again who is doing it the sense I appears in as the doer of action and the thinker of thought and the imaginer of imaginings arising in it is it disturbed by these thoughts so what can disturb it if you have seen if you can verify or is this just pure imagination it was just a game we're just playing a game of imagination kids playing together now forget about it let's get back to reality okay what is the sense of I me in this take a moment look for yourself what is the the sense of I me okay now I did this exercise I did it it was pleasant you know but now this one who speaks in relation to that is what now this is the real and that was the imagined so if it is merely a mental exercise sure in a short while of course mind knows what to do with this mind and person and ego knows what to do with this it's like ah hey you like that thing we did in the in the manual today yeah it was kind of fun wasn't it yeah what are you having for lunch oh we're gone or are we I don't know you will determine so what is the value of such introspection or contemplation for what value well for some they have transcended egoic existence because of this they are not victims of life that idea has become non-existent but not instantly for some rare one maybe ah but for others the mind comes very strong with a sense of history and me and the problems and it's as though this is eclipsed you may say it is hidden or eclipsed even that is better than saying it does not exist because the attention is habituated to going with the story of the self the stories the story the story what happened last week and this happened to me and this and that is that more real well take time to look at it but look from here can you look from here as here it's possible yes gradually because the reflex the tendency once we are shaped into personhood is to go back to the reference of personhood and this is this waiting can it wait no the quality of waiting is not there is it impatient is it looking at the clock saying oh she's taking long it's got nothing to do with this your choice sometimes from the mind and person would prefer no no but give me a path give me a path with 17 steps i can follow them one each week or better 52 steps one each week i can do for a year like this and that's fine if this is what is felt in your heart do but i've just shown you something did you create this like this we do sometimes our grip the grip of the mind and personal identity seems so strong it's totally covered the reality of yourself maybe not totally but effectively as though it's total you're not aware not in touch from the deeper awareness within you can you now that i've pointed this to you who are you where really are you what is the truth of you can you step one step out of this and yet something is waiting to totally dismiss this they say yeah that's nice but what you really need to do you need to go on this pilgrimage you need to sit in a cave naked and drink only water for three days because mind loves this hates it also choose your weapon say yes i've done this but my problems are still here they don't go away for now all that we perceive comes and goes you cannot be anything that you perceive because if you were anything that you perceive when they go as they will and must you would also be gone but you're here to say yeah no that's over oh that problem that was last week it's gone everything is coming and going like clouds drifting in the unchanging sky what we have just done together is to recognize the infinite sky like awareness of yourself it does not have to kill the clouds the clouds can be thoughts and so on but nothing sticks the one who feels the power of this within yourself may pursue may give more attention to this may have the desire i want to explore this because what have you found in doing this is it a really nice feeling only can it be described but mind has a few things to say about you choose