Best Jesus Jokes in The Chosen

And I pray that if there are ever two children to come visit my home here, you will give them the courage to say Shalom, so that they will know they do not have to remain in hiding. Amen. What's that sound like? Sheep don't sound like that. No, that's definitely not sheep. Maybe a rooster? Greetings, children. I seem to remember there was a problem. Something about Andrew's feet. Andrew's feet. But first we must evaluate, no? No, no, no, I can't. I think we have to. No, no, no, no, I can't. Simon, what troubles you? Nothing, just excited for the trip, you know. You can tell me the truth. You're telling me you don't already know what's in my head? That's a conversation for another time. Now. I'm the only one among us who is married. So you think I should have only called single people? Of course not. And I'm glad you didn't, but Eden will be alone with her Ima. You're scared that things could get worse and you wouldn't be there. See? That's what I mean. You already know anyway. Simon, everyone here knows what you're thinking most of the time. It does not take God's wisdom. You wanted to use the power of God to bring down fire, to burn these people up? Well, it sounds a lot worse when you say it that way. You too. You're like a storm on the sea. Come on. Thunder exploding out of your chests at every turn. In fact, that's what I'm going to call you from now on. James and John, the sons of thunder. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Today, it was not good. But strong passion can be a good thing when channeled for righteousness. I just may have to delay giving you that authority we discussed earlier, or in smaller doses, until you two calm down a bit. You're sure this is it? I don't know. This is the address I was given. I'll be honest up front. I only have five extra bedrooms, and two of them are drafty. They usually sleep on the ground. I think they'll be fine. Are you sure this isn't a problem? I'm dying anyways. I don't need the house anymore. Where is Jesus? You have certainly livened things up around here. You got me in a good mood just to fit in. Come in. Shall we? One of the rooms is haunted by my dead grandmother. Oh, I'll take that one. Do you know who he is? He's not afraid of ghosts. I might be. How's the bread? It's delicious, even with the raisin. So, tell me about how your students are doing. Each one of them. I want to know what they pray for. Oh, Ima, I don't know that I'll have time to tell you about every single one of them. I'm ready to collapse. Fine. Just tell me about your five favorites. Ima, I don't have favorites. You know that. Of course you do. Admit it. Why don't you tell me your favorites? The women. That didn't take long. And Zee, because he'll protect you. Really? Anyone else? I'm teasing. I love them all. Well now, friends, we must all get home. Barnaby, she will still need you to walk her home. It's getting late. Shalom, shalom. I'll take this from you. I don't think you'll need it anymore. No. Wait a minute. Here it is. My legs? Did you? Of course he did, Barnaby. Who else? Thank you. You're welcome, Barnaby. Now, get Shula to her home. You can do it faster than normal tonight, huh? Shula! All right. Pairing up. Simon and Judas, north to Caesarea Philippi. Andrew and Philip, east to Naveh. Nathaniel and Thad, south to Perea. John and Thomas, southwest to Joppa. Big James and Little James. Wait, for real? Come on. They can make it a thing. Humor disarms people.