Smalltalk: Wie dir nie wieder Themen ausgehen

Yes, that's right, Sarah. I can understand that. Oh God, what am I supposed to talk about? Somehow I don't know what to say. But I don't want the boring silence to arise. Stop! If you are in small talk or in other conversations, then you should know how you never run out of topics and how you always have something new to say, so that you can also create an interesting conversation. With that, welcome. Benedikt Heldt from the Redefabrik here. This is your channel for your communicative success, where we look at how you can improve your communication in everyday life. If you are interested, then subscribe to the channel and activate the bell to be there for the next videos for your communicative success. The most important rule that you can learn here, how you never run out of words, is a rule. Those who listen well, never run out of topics. That means, if you are not just thinking, Oh God, what am I supposed to say? Or what can I tell you that is interesting about me? I can tell you, if you really listen well, if you are with the other person, then you will find a gold mine there, of certain things that you can find and address. I'll give you an example. Suppose you say, Hey Simon, my dear, how are you? And he says, Oh, somehow I don't know. Today wasn't such a special day. Then you can ask, What do you mean, not such a special day? Then you can repeat that and ask. And then the other person says, Yes, Simon, somehow I don't know. I started the day today and I was so tired all the time. And then I got into the day. Then I got new tasks from my boss. And then I was supposed to do them. The first ones were also fun. But the ones after that were so hard. I was completely desperate. Then my colleague came in and snorted at me. And now, to be honest, I'm just so tired and don't know what to do now. So, ten topics you could have addressed. I just counted along. These are the pieces of gold that you can find in the bulk of the conversation. You can then pick out this single piece of gold and take a closer look at it. What kind of colleague is that? Oh, what kind of tasks did you enjoy at the beginning? How is it for you when you're overwhelmed? What do you want to do now? Who is your boss again? Or what did he say to you exactly? These are the single pieces of gold where you can ask questions again. Those who listen well will never run out of topics. It's exciting when you don't pick any topics but rather the words that are emotional. Listen carefully. So, I got up this morning and I was a bit tired at the beginning and then my boss came again and gave me the tasks. One of them was a lot of fun. That was really interesting. The next one was a bit overwhelming. But I don't know. I thought about it. And then my colleague came in. That means you look at what are the particularly emotional topics. Because if you ask questions and ask an open question, then you open the conversation. Because where the emotions are, it's like a golden thread where you can already see this little spark of emotion. If you dig deeper, then the big treasure of more emotions, of open topics and interesting topics will finally open up for the other person. That's why I use it for you. You can also do it in general. If you say, maybe I'm talking to someone who is not so talkative and doesn't count these 10 things, but who says, how are you? I'm fine. What can you say then? If the other person asks back, then you can answer. And even if she doesn't ask back, then you say something like, ah, cool that you're fine. I'm actually doing really well today because I did this, this, this, this. That means you go into the openness yourself. You go first. And then you also manage to incorporate more things where the other person can connect with. Or you can ask open questions. Because open questions open. Here are two specific examples that you can use in any situation. One thing would be, for example, to ask, suppose you meet at 11 o'clock in the park. And then you ask the question, hey Simon, tell me, what do you do when you're not sitting at the park bench with me at 11 o'clock? That's a bit funny, but ultimately it's just a way to give the other person the opportunity to talk about the things she would like to talk about. Use it to give the other person the opportunity to say, hey, there's a lot going on at work right now. Ah, what's going on at work? And that's how you get into the conversations. That means, if you really always want to have new topics, then it's not about telling great stories, but that you listen well and open the most exciting topics with open questions, like gifts, like matryoshkas, that you continue to open. And then there's another open question, a very, very open question, that you can also ask. Hey Alex, what are you up to in life right now? What's moving you right now? That's so, so, so open. And the person can talk about great things. Wow, I have this new project at work. Or about things, oh, honestly, somehow, especially in my relationship, it's really hard right now, and so on. What's moving you? Then you're more on the emotional level. And not just this, how do you feel right now? And some say, good. But what's moving you right now? What are the important topics right now? You're talking about the weather, yes, important. Now don't say, oh no, come on, don't talk about the weather now, but get into it yourself. Yes, totally. The weather, no joke, it's so, so pleasant. But now I don't want to talk too much about the weather from my side, but I'm interested in how you're doing right now, what's moving you right now in life. And so you can open up to other people, and then they will never give you the topics of conversation, because you don't have the focus on yourself, but on the other person. Whoever listens well, will never be given the topics. Use it for yourself and feel free to subscribe to the channel and activate the bell to be part of the upcoming videos on the topic of communication. Thank you and a lot of communicative success. Transcribed by https://otter.ai