My Husband Lied About Being $1,000,000 In Debt (That I Know Of)

Brought to you by Xander Insurance. Compare rates from topter term life insurance companies in seconds at xander.com. Hi, I um am in find myself in a lot of debt because my husband um has I we were we've been married 27 years. Sorry, I'm rambling already. We've been married 27 years and I've always allowed him to handle the finances. I quit my job, stayed home with our four children, and um have just trusted him with the finances. And in the last couple of years, I've I've just slowly been uncovering a lot of dishonesty and um finally ended up filing for divorce after I found out most of it. Um, I'm I'm still not sure I know everything, but I I think there is a close to a million dollars in debt right now. And I'm afraid that I'm I'm going to be responsible for half of it if in worst case scenario, hopefully I won't be on the on the hook. What kind of debt, Kathy? What kind of debt is this million? Well, there's about He hasn't paid income taxes in three years. How much is that? about 160. God. Okay. Um there's about $80,000 in credit card debt with cards I didn't know existed. Um there's a $550,000 mortgage on his office building that I'm I was a personal guarantor on and you didn't know about it? Um I'm sure I signed it. It's my signature, but I don't I don't remember doing that. I'm just I like I said, I feel like an idiot because I've trusted. All right. Well, while hold on a second while we're on this list, I want to just cover what as you of what you've given Jade so far. How much of it are you on the hook for? I only recommend term life insurance because it's simple, affordable coverage and you should get it only from Xander Insurance because they work for you, not the insurance companies. Xander compares all the top term plans to save you money so you don't get ripped off with insurance that they market like a so-called investment. Term from Xander is the only life insurance I would get from my family. It's all I've ever bought and all I've ever recommended. Go to xander.com or call 8003564282. How much of it are you on the hook for? Well, I'm assuming all. I mean, our taxes are joint. the credit cards. Some some say they're from his business, but others say I just started opening the mail recently and I'm seeing this. The only card I was aware of has is maxed out at 30,000 and the rest are other ones. Did you know um is there anything else on the list by the way before we keep going through? So, so far we're at we're not at a million yet. Okay. Well, on two in 2019, my father passed away and left me a significant amount of money and he immediately started asking me for money to help with the his businesses um and said he'd pay me back and I've totaled all that up and it's about 500,000. Okay. So, I'm counting that in the debt that he And when he was borrowing that money, do do you have any idea what it was being spent on or it's just kind of that cloud of businesses? Well, he would he would say taxes or payroll or this bill or that bill. And is there any record of that? Like did you guys other than you just talking about it in the kitchen? Right. Right. Well, you could probably kiss that 500,000 goodbye. Yeah. So, so let's take that off the debt list just for the functionality of this. My guess is that How long has it been since you filed the divorce? Uh, two weeks. Oh, okay. My guess is that I mean Ken, they're probably going to look at this and split it down the middle based on how long you guys have been married and based on and that your name's on these things. Yeah, your name is on it. Now, I do I hate this is happening. But there's a part of this where you do have to it's like he did these things, but you also have to own your part in it, which is, you know, he has an office building. How do we think it got there? You know, there's all these things cropping up. How do we think that we're paying for him? And you know, here on the show, we're always teaching how money is just it is a joint thing that couple I don't want to say venture because it makes it sound business, but it is this thing that we both work together. We're both um plugged in. We both are dialed in as to what's going on. It can't just be he handles that, I handle this. Everybody's got to have their brain on and looking at this because really this is what happens when you don't. So, I'm realizing, all right, so let's talk about how to dig you out of this. So, if I'm if I'm paying attention, I'm trying to We're really talking about, and I think Jade's right, let's assume that you're going to have to pay half. Hopefully, that doesn't happen, but the we haven't even started this fight. So, that means you would you would owe 250,000 if the judge split it down the middle. Is that correct? Um, approximately. I'm I'm anticipating and my lawyer thinks we'll end up finding more, but yeah. Are there any what we know today? So, my question is, what about your house? Is your house paid for? Okay. So, our house is paid for. We We sold a a house and we cleared we rolled part of it over into the new house, so it's paid for. How much is the current house worth if you were to sell it today? Um, I think it's probably worth maybe 2 million. Okay. Okay. So, that's good news. Yeah. Any other assets? Um, well, it was all of his business holdings, but I think they're all gone from what I can tell. But he The problem is he won't tell me anything. He's not I He will not give me any information. Well, that's not your problem anymore because this is going to get hashed out between the lawyers. So, the way you started this call is how do I get rid of this debt? And best that we can tell what we're operating off of right now, Jade, is 250,000. We think worst case scenario. We can't guess what may be out there. But what we know today, how would you get out of it? And and that becomes the issue. You haven't worked in how many years? Um 27. I just got a job last week. Oh, good. What are you doing? Yeah, I'm an attorney. No way. Well, hello. You hid that detail. What kind of an attorney are you? Appallet. So, I don't know anything about this financial stuff. I'm learning, believe me. Yeah, but what can you I'll never be in this position again. No, we're not beating up on you. We're actually trying to help you here. So, my question is, what are you going to make this year? 130. Great. Okay, great. All right. So, between the house as an asset, Jade, and uh you making 130, this is not the end of the world. That's the one thing I wanted to hear. You'll probably split the debt in some form of fashion. Okay. You'll probably split the assets in some form of fashion. Hopefully, it's fair for both parties. And it sounds like there's going to be enough assets for you to clear your debt and still have a decent amount of money. My guess is something's going to happen with this house. you're probably going to sell it and split the profits is usually what I suggest, especially if there's not kids living at home, that kind of thing. Um, and then yeah, whatever debt you're on the hook for, you'll take that money and pay off that debt and you'll likely have enough money to go out and probably buy another house outright, depending on what you choose. And you'll ride off into the sunset and like you said, you will have learned many, many lessons out of this. What's the big one? What's the practical takeaway? Let's fast forward. Let's be positive, Kathy. Now, this is going to be too soon on some of this. I'm about to say, but I'm leading my my partner here somewhere. So, uh, let's assume we're all clear of all this mess. She meets another fabulous man and she's in a relationship. She's in a married relationship. What does she learn from this practically and tactically? What does she do different next time? Different. The different move is everything is 100. Like, we're keeping everything above board. We're talking about it. Um, and anything that you have questions about, you're saying out loud. You have something to bring to the table. He has something to bring to the table. No one gets to just quote handle it. You know what I mean? Yeah. No excuse, Kathy, to not know anything or very little. So, now you know. And, uh, get your head up. This is not fun. You're getting ready to go through a really tough deal and you're in the middle of the storm right now, but you're going to be okay financially and you're going to be okay emotionally. and uh you'll be you'll be okay long term. So, appreciate the call. Okay. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Oh, that's tough stuff, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's just so duplicitous to be Oh, word of the day by Jade Warshaw. Folks, use that word. You know, a guy. Oh, boy. On behalf of all men, I'm sorry. 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