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探討東西方哲學 理解宇宙的神祕奧祕 來吧,你的愛心! 咳咳咳 讓我們歡迎兩位新加入的隊員 Smash, Diggins, 和 Fishbone Walker 幸好他們被魔術師放棄了 因為違反了藥物 這些愚蠢的愛心 快點輸掉,我們才能離開這裡! 為什麼你對愛心這麼討厭,爸? 因為我曾經愛上它們,它們破壞了我的心 讓這成為你的課程,親愛的 永遠不會愛任何東西 連你? 尤其是我 這將會帶來寶寶Ruth the Fourth 當然,他並不是寶寶Ruth the Third 但是這個遊戲非常興奮 關於這個無法證明的偉大寶寶 這是什麼? 他正在向右邊的蜥蜴指向 可能是一個死亡的小孩 媽媽,我正在死亡嗎? 當然不是 他是媽媽嗎?你可以告訴我 不 現在他正向地面指向 他正在指向 是的,他正在蹲下 但我還可以 不,這不可能 誰贏了?失敗者? 不,他們輸了 失敗者 但是隻有兩分 他們沒有像其他隊伍那樣 向地面指向 所以這算是一種道德勝利 有一點中間的安慰 他們可能會進入冠軍 你會在你冷冷的地獄裡 在這件事發生之前 Homer,拜託你 不要再說孩子的地獄 這是什麼? Mo終於把腦袋弄壞了嗎? 安靜點,我們正在看冠軍 閉嘴,他們是失敗者 右邊,冠軍正在燒 是的,那隻狙擊手在全球賽事中 是一件神聖的禮物 現在我們正在冠軍賽事中 冠軍賽事? 冠軍決定 這裡有個死忠的支持者 先生,您的愛人冠軍賽事 快要成為歷史了,有什麼想法嗎? 這是一個很棒的隊伍,Kent 你永遠不會放棄希望 我要感謝耶穌 也要向我的特別主婦Marge打招呼 我們成功了,寶貝 嗚嗚嗚嗚 這是一位支持者的啟發詞 他永遠會為自己的隊伍打招呼 即使他們輸了 他們輸了? 不要輸了 不不不,比賽還沒結束 嗚嗚嗚嗚 還沒結束 嗚嗚嗚嗚 終於 嗚嗚嗚嗚 來吧,寶貝 現在,一切都在這裡 來看看這場比賽 Huff & Hayes 他拿到了 一個 一 二 三 四 五 六 七 八 九 十 一 二 三 四 五 六 十 一 二 三 五 六 Ice-a-thumbs! You know what I'm saying, baby! Hey! A baseball field! Matter up! Hey! We're winning! Still second? I think I'm gonna puke! Hey, who's hung first? Touchdown! Nice! Hey! Careful. You look really hung over, Dad. What did you do last night? Last night? Um... Hello, Big Maggie. Yes, yes, yes! Someone trashed the school! What the dilly-o? Where this morning the three R's stand for Rowdiness, Ransacking, and E-Responsibility. Any suspects, Chief? None. That's why we're jumping to the conclusion that this was the work of no good punk kids. Kids? Therefore, effective immediately, I am imposing a curfew. Any kid caught on the street after dark will be shot or returned to their parents as the situation may warrant. Whoa! Curfew? Serves you little punks right. Maybe next time you'll think before... Oh, my God! Look, but don't run kids into my car! Cops can't just slap a curfew on us. We have rights. Sure you do. You have the right to remain silent. That was cold-blooded, Mark. Yeah. But it's not fair. Adults always blame kids for everything. Well, if kids are so innocent, why is everything bad-named after them? Acting childish, kidnapping, child abuse. What about adultery? Not until you're older, son. Okay, good evening. Ice-cream truck! Babies, curfew. Return to your homes immediately. All right, let's see some IDs, boys. You two scofflaws are violating curfew. I'm taking you downtown. Oh, sorry to disturb you, Dr. Hibbert. Not at all, officer. What a beautiful night. Fireflies, full moon, and here we are locked inside. Kids, the carnival's in town for one night only. And they've got cotton candy and hats with feathers. And there's no lines because all the stupid kids have curfew. So... Oh, right, Larry. Why don't you kids play one of your old board games? When was the last time you played Citizenship? Energy shortage. Hippo in the house. Oh, the game of Lint. Oh, can't we just go to bed? It's only 5.30. Fine, we'll play Hippo in the house. Oh, the hippo's missing. You think that's bad? I had to talk to my mom all night. She's got problems. Scary problems. Adults blow. Yeah, just look at them over there. Smoking their cigarettes. Drinking their coffee. Scratching their big butts. Your metabolism will change someday too, young man. That ought to show little Timmy and Tammy scumbag who's in charge around here. Gee, Chief, all those gears and motors must have cost a fortune. Well, you gotta spend money to make money, Lou. You wanna hold it for a while? Nah. March 8th. Hey, there is one thing we could do. Police! No! It's prime time! You robbed me of my manhood. That's petty theft. Don't go there. Don't go there. We'll be right back. Oh, no, it won't. Wait, there's a commercial. Oh, yeah. 40 years ago, a film appeared that was so shocking, so terrifying, it was sealed in a concrete vault deep beneath the earth. But even the new management of Sony TriStar could not contain the pure evil of The Bloodening. Milhouse, do you see what's on Channel 6? Uh, yeah. It's really something. A registered nurse trained in the treatment of terror will be on duty during the showing of The Bloodening. Now playing at the Springfield Drive-in. After dark. Milhouse, spread the word. We're seeing this movie tonight. That's right. We're breaking curfew. We're out of school. Due to the likelihood of fear-induced heart attacks, we're offering all patrons million-dollar life insurance policies. Life insurance? Might be able to barno against the equity? I don't know, sir. It comes free with the popcorn. Is that air pop? Dinner? We're losing valuable make-out time. Little help. Sure. Oh. Lisa. Nelson. Let's all go to the lobby To get ourselves some treats. Get off of my moor, you mischievous weens. Actually, we'd prefer to stay. You're thinking about hurting us. Now you're thinking. How did they know what I was thinking? Now you're thinking. I hope that shepherd's pie in my knickers. They showed him. Man. I never liked Shakespeare until now. Bloody little bodice. We've had quite enough of your evil mischief. But you're the one who's been bad. You've been sneaking puddings. But... but... how did you know? We know all your secrets. And you pilfered the poor box. And, Doctor, we know that you're in the boot black have been rogering the fish wife in the crumpet shop. Lie! How dare you! Get them! Quickly! We can't have that. Enjoying the movie, kids? Listen up, punks. The moral of the story is the adults always win. For crying out loud. Eddie, you scared the hell out of me. Sorry, Chief. Don't forget to clean under the jowls. That spot is club med for mildew. And let this be a lesson to you. Kids never learn. That is it. I'm tired of being pushed around by grown-ups. It's time to fight back. Yeah! Fight back! Man. If we had eye power like those kids in that movie, we could read the adults' mind and tell their secrets of magic. And make them pitchfork each other in junk. Yeah! Supernatural powers. We already know their secret. She's right. Homer's done a ton of crap that never made the papers. My mom shoplifts all the time. Stuff she doesn't even need. My dad gets in car accidents on purpose. Great. This is all gold. We gotta spread this stuff around. Let's put it on the Internet. No. We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter. And I think I know how. Why don't we do this? This is the best way. We can get this stuff amplifier from the garage. Yeah, that's a good idea. Attention, Hemline and Midriff monitors. Willy, get my windex. Two hundred channels and nothing but cats. So, Bart, ready for another episode of Don't Go There? I'm tired of that show. But I've been hearing good things about Talk to the Hand. Tom Shale says the writing snaps, crackles and pops. OK. Whatever takes my mind off my life. Hey, look what I found. Grandpa's old radio. Oh, wouldn't it be grand to gather round and have a listen? Well, turn something on. I'm starting to think. A date which will live in infamy. Good evening, adults. We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a very special presentation. Tonight's program is entitled We Know All Your Secrets. Boring. Go back to that infamy guy. Constable Wick likes to act tough, but he also likes to rock the beat in control-top pantyhose. Well, it's not like that's a crime. I'm afraid it is, Chief. And schoolmistress Krabappel has been stealing supplies from the school cafeteria. Edna. How could you? Don't get up. I'll bust my own tray. Now we come to Mr. Homer Simpson. Do you know he likes to eat out of the Flanders garbage? I have a problem. Tune in tomorrow and every day until the curfew is lifted because we'll be revealing an embarrassing secret about Springfield's other adult. Well, at least they've already done me. And we have plenty more on Homer Simpson. I've called this meeting to determine what to do about those blabbermouth kids and their creepy English accents. Hey, shut up, Mayor. They're telling secrets again. Oh, I hope they don't reveal this is a comb-over. Our top secret tonight, gay divorcee Luann Van Houten has been cheating on her boyfriend Pyro. with his best friend Gyro. How many times have I fought beside you, Gyro? And this is how you repay me? Pyro, Gyro, settle down. Can't we shut down that infernal transmitter? Can we just blow it up? You go ahead, girlfriend. Say it again, girl. Settle down, people. As we speak, Chief Wiggum is tracking down those little squealers using the latest in crime-fighting technology. I got nothing. How about you, Frankie? I have captured the signal and am presently triangulating the vectors and compressing the data down in order to express it as a function of my hand. They're over there. Guess who's been practicing medicine without a license? That's right. Homer Simpson. Freeze, you little shotgun. Brilliant. They transduced amplitude modulation via the concavity of that oversized beverage conveyance. I mean, that is some clever vibing. All right, you kids, come down now. We promise we won't kill you. Make for yourself. Bart, get down here. I'm gonna spank you back to the Stone Age. You can't make us come down. You adults are always giving us orders. You kids are always disobeying them. Adults treat kids like children. Kids treat adults like cash machines. Adults! Kids! Adults! Kids! Kids, you've had your fun. Now we've had our fill. Yeah, you're only here 'cause Marge forgot her pill. Kids, you're all just scandalizing, vandalizing punks. Channel-hopping, rizzle-popping monkeys. Please don't quit the fan club. Kids, I can nag and nag till my hair turns blue. Kids, you bomb my spokes and don't say thank you. Why can't you be like we are? Oh, what a bunch of brats. We ought to drown you just like cats. Adults, you run our lives like your Colonel Clank. Adults, you strut around like your farts don't stink. Adults, you're such a drooling, soaring, boozing, boring bunch. Surly, meany, three-martini lunchers. I can say to Thumbjack. Adults, they're always telling us to shut your traps. We're fed up with all of you whippersnaps. We're trying to get some sleep here. It's almost 6.15. What's the matter with don't you treat us like can't you just lay off pissing on all of you? Kids, you stink. Gonna teach all you rugrats a lesson. Oh, yeah? What can you old people do to us? Yeah, you old fogies. Buzz off, y'all. This is Kent Brockman reporting from my own home in accordance with the new curfew for anyone under 70. You can't believe it. I warned you guys that seniors always vote in record numbers. The controversial measure passed by a single vote. You really should have voted, Homer. It wouldn't have made a difference. Lights out, you punk kids. Yeah, we took back the night. Hey, fellas. Hey, you wanna stop with the kicking? My pills are in that can. Good gravy. I don't kick your things. When you're trying to breathe on the machine, do I go up and kick it? Oh, now look at that. I've been down the sewer. You happy? I'm gonna sue now. Now it's time for the lawyers. And don't tell me to shush, you stupid lady.