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驚喜獲得獎勵 你為什麼要這樣說? 你只是不懂事 哈哈哈 Pomer 我想要你鼓勵Lisa 參加我們的科學獎 是的 醬汁比凱莉還要好 我種植了一棵 未來的番茄 並且釀製成 免疫藥物 這種藥物可以幫助奧林匹克運動員 達到新的極致優勢嗎? 非常優秀 我覺得這棵番茄 可以清除世界的飢餓 要多一點番茄嗎? 是的 你做了什麼科學項目? 我想調查 狗吸煙的效果 Pomer 不要給狗吸煙 嗯 好了 該上班了 沒想到 我還要早點離開 去參加Duff Brewery的巡迴 9點開始 5點開始 這是我的計劃 他們不敢相信 那就 開始計劃吧 然後到Duff Brewery 嗯 我說了嗎? 還是隻是想著而已? 我得想起一句話 Pomer 你去Duff Brewery嗎? 如果這個計劃 你希望逃脫 去7B的Sector 要克服蜘蛛的詛咒 簡單地寫一本聖經 Umm, don't shout, not go That looks like princess tie Oh wait, it's just a pile of rags Forgot my math book Would you hold this for me, please? Sweet Shoes untied Over, under, in and out That's what shoe tying is all about Now I'm sure all of you have heard the rumors That a batch of Duff was contaminated with Strychnine Strychnine? That's new to me Are you sure? Well, everyone's talking about it It was even on CNN last night CNN? Well, it's not true Let's go Now, here's one of our favorite Duff beer commercials From the early 1950s Only Duff fills your Q-Zone with pure beer goodness So drink up, and up, and up Duff Beer, proud sponsors of Amos & Andy We're proud of all of our Duff commercials But here's a very special one from 1960 Well, I would suggest, Mr. Renault-Kerr That if you knew the president That that was probably just a facetious remark And now a word from our sponsor I would like to take this opportunity To express my fondness for a Duff beer I'd also like to express my fondness For that particular beer A man never drank a Duff in his life And here we have Duff, Duff Light And our newest flavor, Duff Grind What does the future hold for Duff? Let's just say we've got a few ideas up our sleeve Like what? Um, I'd rather not get into it right now Why not? All right, we don't have any ideas for the future We've got nothing Happy? No Mom, Bart wrecked my project And the science fair's in three days Well, I've got an idea Why don't you run a hamster through a maze? Help me, help me What's so funny? Oh, uh, I was just thinking of a joke I saw on Herman's bed Now this is the most important man on the tour He's in charge of quality control Fine, fine, mouse Fine, mouse, rat Fine, syringe Fine, nose Fine Let me just say You're doing a great job, Phil Hey, thanks a lot That makes it all worthwhile Hmm, gummy beer Hey, Barney I think you've had enough Are you crazy? We still haven't tried Raspberry Duff Lady Duff Tardar Control Duff Barney, give me your keys You're too drunk to drive I'm fine Okay, you leave me no option Ow, what was that for? I'm trying to knock you out Ow All right, here, take the keys Boys, a couple of stewed prunes Heading your way W X Y and Z Now I know my ABCs Won't you come and play with me What? We also would have accepted Tell me what you think of me I guess you're free to Give him the breathalyzer You're under arrest Think you can get this car home? Sure thing, giant beer Hey, this is kind of... Hello Yeah, Mrs. Simpson I have some bad news Your husband was found D.O.A. Oh, my God, he's dead? Oh, wait, I mean D.W.I. I always get those two mixed up My name is Mrs. Phillips You said my husband is D.W.I.? Why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch Don't worry, Homer I have a foolproof strategy To get you out of here Surprise witnesses Each more surprising than the last I tell you The judge won't know what hit him Pipe down in there, Hutz Your license is hereby revoked And you are to attend traffic school And two months of Aquanon meetings Your Honor, I'd like that Last remark stricken from the record No It doesn't get any better than this I want the most intelligent hamster You've got Okay This little guy writes mysteries Under the name of J.D. McGregor How can a hamster write mysteries? Well, he gets the ending first Then he works backwards Oh, come on Look, kid, just take him Before his mother eats him, all right? Have a good day at work, honey Stupid bicycle Can't believe this No good rotten I guess it's not all bad I propose to determine The answer to the question Is my brother dumber than a hamster? Hey, Elise, look what I can do Stupid books Hey, a cupcake Hamster 1, Bart 0 Movement 2 The food is connected To a mild electrical current The hamster has learned A valuable lesson Beware the hand of man Wise guy Hamster 2, Bart 0 If any of you ever think Of drinking and driving again This film will scare the pants off you Guys, guys, this is the wrong movie Oh, wait a second I do something really funny here What a terrible waste Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure You might remember me From such Driver's Ed films As Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass And the Decapitation of Larry Letfoot For the next 60 minutes We'll be seeing actual film Of Car Crash Victim Here's an appealing fellow In fact, they're appealing him Off the sidewalk It's funny 'Cause I don't know him I'm here for the Alconon meeting Mm-hmm, third door on your left Coping with senility? No, I'm here for microwave cookery No, wait Coping with senility My name is Ned Hello, Ned It's been 4000 days Since my last drink It was my first And last blackberry schnapps Ned, did you clip Ann Landers today? Ann Landers is a boring old bitty Ned I was more animal than man My name is Otto I love to get black too My name is Hans Drinking has ruined my life I'm 31 years old My name is Homer And I'm just here Because the court made me cum Homer, with our help You'll never touch a beer again Though they say I might have a problem Honey, do you ever drink alone? Does the lord count as a person? No Then yet Do you need a beer to fall asleep? Thank you, that'd be nice Do you ever hide beer around the house? Do I ever Do you ever drink to escape from reality? Honey, I'd like you to do something for me You name it I want you to give up beer for a month You got it No deer for a month Did you say beer or deer? Deer Please, homie I know you can do this Alright Starting tomorrow No beer for a month What was that noise? I was saying Psst, I love you Bart, could you go get the cupcakes? Cupcakes, cupcakes Yes, sweet cakes for all Well, beer, we've had some great times When I was seventeen I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID My name was Brian McKee I stayed up listening to Queen When I was seventeen Huh? She'll pay for this I'm gonna crush her like this pellet Ow, ow, ow Looking for something? What have you done with my report? I've hidden it To find it, you'll need to decipher a series of clues Each more fingers Got it Behold gravity in all its glory Pretty lame, Milhouse Can I touch it? I've worked too long and hard on this For you to screw it up now But it's got my name on it Just stand over there Over there Behold the flying machine That will carry me, Phileas Fogg Around the world in eighty days Dang, I was aiming for his head Don't think about beer Hmm, alcohol-fueled car One for you, one for me I don't know if I like you Experimenting on your brother Please, mother It's purely in the interest of science That'll learn him to bust my tomato Step right up, folks We'll answer the question That has been plaguing scientists for ages Can hamsters fly planes? Oh, look He's got miniature goggles on Oh, and a little scarf Isn't that cute? Isn't that adorable? But this project Has no scientific merit Oh, take a hike, sister Sour grapes Lisa, every good scientist Is half B.F. Skinner And half P.T. Barnum I don't think I need to see The other exhibits First prize One down, twenty-nine to go Down with sexism Look at all those feminists You thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah, all right TV, have you turned on me, too? The wind-up and the two-two pitch Oh, no, sir Wait a minute The banner is calling for time Looks like he's gone And getting himself a new bat And now there's a beach ball on the field And the ball boys are discussing Which one of them's gonna go get it I never realized how boring this game is I think I've lost weight You've never looked better Thank you all for coming We've got some very interesting developments In the field of Supperware Uh-huh This is the 128-ounce tub You can fit your whole head in it Don't be scared, Jub-Jub It's Mama I would kill everyone in this room For a drop of sweet beer So, Homer Please feel free to tell us anything There's no judgment here The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium And ate the dirt under the bleachers I cast thee out Don't think about beer Dirty Dick I'm proud of you, homie Marge, I'm going to Moe's Send the kids to the neighbors I'm coming back loaded You don't have to start drinking right away I was thinking we could go for a bike ride But, Marge The bar flies are expecting me Moe and Barney And that guy who calls me Bill But you look better You don't sweat while you eat anymore And look You've saved more than a hundred dollars I found it in your pants Yoink Well, well Look who it is Mr. I Don't Need Alcohol To Enjoy Life We hate him, right, fellas? Moe, give me a beer Hey, everybody Homer's back Come on, Homer Do it for your old pal, Mosey But, Moe Yesterday you called Homer A worthless sack of Wipe down, rubber dub Oh Put it in the fridge, Moe I've got a date with my wife You'll be back And so will you And you Of course I'll be back If you didn't close, I'd never leave Raindrops keep falling on my head But that doesn't mean my eyes Will soon be turning red La la la la la Because I'm free Nothing's worrying me It won't be last steps up to greeting me Raindrops keep falling on my head But that doesn't mean my eyes Will soon be turning red La la la la la