77 year old gives us her best life advice (this will cure your anxious thoughts)

Is there anything left on your bucket list? I'm afraid to tell you this. What? Maya, as if you haven't done that. Do you think I didn't know that? I didn't think you did. I don't know who told you, but I'm going to kill Maddie. You don't love to cook? No. That's not really your thing. That not my thing. No. No. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? Yes. My god, do you tell? Were you a good student? No. Were you thinking about lying for a second there? Yeah, I'll get caught. So, Ma lives in an apartment complex that is essentially a sorority house for people over the age of like 60. How old were you when you got married? 22. You know what I was doing at 22? My god. I was taking jello shots on the table at the bar. I see a difference in young women today versus when I was young. I think it's more of me me rather than you you you. Oh, yeah. You get this from mom and Cody? No, they probably got it from me. I love being here. She loves the camera. I do. Hi, house guest. Welcome back to my home this week. My grandma Ma is coming on. She is such a highly highly requested woman on the show. She's everyone's favorite YouTube guest. Like, she really is everything. She invented me, okay? The sewing, the needle pointing, all of that stuff that really all comes from her. And she is on the show today giving us her best life advice. She's very funny. She comes off like a little timid, but like she's not at all. She's got a lot to say. And you guys are going to love this episode. You guys know me. If this could be an episode where I'm in like a retirement home, not that Michael lives in one of those, but if I could target a certain age demographic and just interview them, I would because I feel like you just get so much more out of conversations from their wisdom and their life. And it's just such a good feelood episode and you guys are going to absolutely love it. Ma is so fab. She is everything and she's like my bestest friend. We hang out all the time. So, hope you guys enjoy this episode and let's welcome Ma on to the show. I cannot believe we finally have the celebrity that is Ma, my grandma, here on the show. I love being here. She loves the camera. I do. I was just saying this to my dad. It's so funny because growing up, I would always keep my family off the camera because I didn't think anyone wanted to be in my videos. And then like lo and behold, Ma loves the camera. And I was like, I wonder why she never asks me to be in her videos because I would be like respectful. She'd be overf filming and I would film myself because like you hadn't agreed to be on camera. And then as time went on and I started seeing her like creeping into the shot like a little closer and closer each time. So then your cover was blown. You love the camera. I do. And today it's her first podcast episode ever. Yes. So this is very exciting. This is this is very interesting. Interesting. Good. How many of your friends have you told about this? Um, I've only told two. Only two. Will you be sending out like a mass thing at your absolutely? Okay. You'll be telling everyone. Everyone will know. Are you going to have a watch party? Yes, of course. For a video of you. You can see where I get it from. It really runs in our blood. It does. That the needle pointing, the every other thing that we do. Gardening, sewing, any of the grandma hobbies. Yes, true. I do them all. I think we should start off by telling everyone where you got the name Micah. When Kenzie was a baby, probably maybe six months old, she would hold me and put her hands on my face and say, "Ma, Maha." And we're like, "What is a micah?" And finally, she did it to her dad one day and she she was like doing maida my dad. We're like, "Oh my gosh, she's trying to say my grandma." I was a little bit territorial. Yes. And then all the grandchildren now call me Micah. Everyone does. Everyone, our friends, like family, friends, people that know you out in public, when you introduce yourself, you say, "Hi, I'm Ma." Mah. Yeah. I've like completely changed this woman's name. It's a good name. Yeah, it's a good name. So, my grandma Ma and I I feel like we are very similar. Out of your grandchildren, I'm definitely the most similar to you. Very. We do most everything together as well. We both, like I said, we love to garden. We love to needle point. We love to read. We like audio books. Love to read. You don't love to cook. No, that's not really your thing. That not my thing. No. No. But we have a lot of hobbies cuz you know I love my grandma hobbies and then these are just the things we've always done. I grew up at her shop because my mom and my grandma had a bedding company together and a drinker company. And they had this shop downtown McKenna. If you guys know where Harvest is, if you guys are Dallas people, that's that was our shop that we grew up in. And I would always like go quote work for them. I would get paid, you know, those were there were definitely some child labor laws that were crossed there, just a few. I be like a dollar a day probably. Um, but I would go in, my grandma, you would be sewing, mom would be designing, I would come in and be cleaning or sometimes I'd make my own little purses. It's really where I fell in love with home stuff. It's where I became like very creative. I feel like textiles, everything like career-wise like that is really where it started was in that shop downtown McKenna. Yeah, absolutely. Do you miss that? Like working there? Um, no. No. Love that. She's very blunt, so we appreciate that. It was a lot of work. You just like to kind of chill a little bit more. And by the time I had met my husband, he wanted me to quit. He wanted to travel and do things together. And it took a lot of my time. You wanted to have fun. Yeah. So, I was like, it's time for me to retire. We have a lot of questions for you today to impart some wisdom on us. But I think before we get into that, I want the audience to know a little bit more about you. So, let's do a little quick life story. Just me tell a story or Yeah. Like where were you born? How many siblings did you have? I was born in St. Louis, Missouri. There were actually seven children. Um, one passed away at a year old. So, there were six of us though growing up and we had a lakehouse. So we I had a good childhood just um freedom to to run and we had you know the three acres. So we we played ball, we sleigh ride. It wasn't like it is today where you can't just let kids run. We would get on our bikes and go miles and miles. We belong to a swim club. So we just I had a really good childhood. Were you a good student? No. No, I wasn't. Were you thinking about lying for a second there? Yeah, like I'll get caught. So, no. And I did I did go to college and I quit in after a year and a half. That's my one regret in life is that I didn't finish college, but your grandpa had been uh wounded in Vietnam. We didn't know it. We just never heard from him for months and months and then finally heard from him. But it was it was just a hard time. I didn't realize it was months and months you guys hadn't heard from him. No, we didn't. And finally, we contact his mother and I contacted the Red Cross and they wound up sending something and they got a hold of his captain who came into his hospital room and said, "You will write your family." Wow. He was so depressed that he didn't want to write. So, he thought he was going back into battle, but then it turned out he couldn't. So he wound up coming home after about a year of surgeries and things, but it was just a very depressing time because at college it was all the protesters who were barefoot and and then my boyfriend is over in Vietnam fighting. So there was such a conflict there. Yeah. Well, I think that's very hard also when you're seeing people die and we family thought he was gone. Yes, that was what was so scary. We did. We just thought he was gone. So yeah, and it was just every night on the news they say how many soldiers died. So, but then he came back and we actually broke up for about a year and then we got back together and got married and had children and there you go. had a good life. She lives in Texas now. We are together all the time. But I get all of my like creative things from you and mom for sure. For sure. We love a home project. We love anything with a I was I was going to say we love anything with a needle. even like needle and thread. All right. Needle and thread and thread to that. Yeah. But yeah. Okay. Good. I just wanted to give them a little bit of backstory on you. So, I have a lot of questions for you to answer today. Okay. To give all of us young some advice. Okay. It's going to be good. Okay. Number one, what do you wish more young women knew? I see a difference in young women today versus when I was young. And I think it's more of me me rather than you you you you. Be more interested in other people and what they have to say and offer and not so much about yourself. I agree with that. What is something you used to worry about that you now realize doesn't matter? Almost everything. I'm a worrier. I fred over things. I wake up in the middle of the night and now that I'm older, I'm like, why? Worrying doesn't change anything at all. So, don't do it. But how do you just stop worrying? Meditation. Do you meditate? Oh, yeah. I never knew that about you. Oh, yeah. You get this from mom and Cody? Like, when did you start meditating? No, they probably got it from me. Really? Yeah. Would Would they would mom say that that's true? I don't know because I never talked about it, but I'm just really good at meditating to sit down, especially in the early morning. Um, sometimes reading my Bible, but just thinking about things and letting it go. When did you start meditating? I've always meditated. Like, this is so crazy. Whenever I learn something new about you, it's crazy. Like, whenever we play the family cards and I learn something new, it's insane because you're like, I spent the most time with you almost out of anyone in my life. So at what age did you start meditating? Probably in my late 20s when you meditate you just sit down. Just sit down and you just relax. Now when I meditate I walk when I walk the dog in the morning and just I don't know how people can not believe in God because you look up at the sky and the beauty and I just don't know how anybody could not believe that there is a higher authority. Yeah. that has created all of this. I also think you have nothing to lose by believing in something bigger than you, but you Exactly. I I don't think you necessarily lose by not believing. But for me personally, I would rather have some sort of hope in life. And if I'm wrong, okay, whatever. I had hope. That's the biggest crime I committed. That's fine by me. What have you got to lose? Exactly. Exactly. Something else. We were talking earlier, guys. We were on TikTok. I'm always sending Ma like different needle points stuff. I have I sent her to screenshots of things, Tik Toks, like probably three or four times a day. Yesterday, I think this is a crime for people to do. Yesterday, this woman posted all of these needle point projects that were stunning finished, mind you. The project was finished. They wasn't finished into like It's so hard when you try to explain finishing and needle point. Well, it wasn't made into a product yet, right? Yes. But the actual like canvas was done. Yes. And these were ones that would take hours and hours. And I'm talking probably some of them would take a year. I would say collectively it would take it's a year-long project multiple at Goodwill for $25. I couldn't believe it. And before you ask why didn't you go? It was in Alabama. And I just want to say like if if there is any of my great grandchildren listening to this, if any of them take any of our needle point, I'm coming back and I'm haunting them for the rest of their lives. That is insane. It's a treasure. Yeah. Why would you ever get rid of that stuff? I even think about a couple things that I have in my house where people have like family notes on them that I've just thrifted and I'm like, "How'd you ever get rid of that?" Right. That is insane. Meanwhile, Ma and I are like hoarding this stuff. And you have one picture I gave you that you better never get rid of. It's hung up in my living room. Yes, of course I know. Trust me. It came from the Chase Park Plaza Hotel. Should we tell this story? St. Louis. We could We should tell the story. I think I told it on Homeworthy. It's already out there. Yeah. My grandpa worked there. I thought he ran the place when I was a child, but it turns out he was a janitor and he brought these pictures home to my mom and they're antiques. Later, we found that they were stolen. Yeah, we're not sure how much he brought it as much as he stole it, but years later I have it in my living room. We're we're pretty sure he he coped them, but hopefully they don't call me and want him back. I think we're definitely past like statute limitations on that one. I think we're good. What's the secret to a happy life? Oh gosh. Contentment. How do you find contentment? Don't worry. Don't fret. Be happy with what you have and not worry about what you don't have. Do you see a major difference just in the past 30, 40 years with people being discontent just because now on social media we can see what everyone else has. Have you noticed it gotten has gotten worse? Oh, probably. probably because you like you said you can go on social media and it seems like everybody's got all these things and that's not so but I think contentment's a good one. I'm just happy with my life. I've always looked at the good side of everything, the positive side. I don't allow negativity in my life. You know, if I sense it with someone or something, I I immediately run away. Yeah, you really do. Ma likes a boundary. Yes. You like to cut off. Yeah, I do. I do. It's hard to do though. Yeah, it is. I feel this way about both you and mom. Like with every year that goes by, you guys are just tougher and tougher. Like you're you guys put up with a lot less. I think when I was a child, I remember you guys having put up with more and now it's like a loss of patience. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Just not doing it anymore. Different things in your life affect you that way. Like the loss that we went through last year. Mhm. All of a sudden you're like, I'm not going to let anything in my life that's not important. Yeah. That doesn't have meaning. Grief really, it's so weird. It changes you. It changes every aspect of you. But it's so weird because on one end, it makes you, you have, there's this thing called grief brain where you can't really think straight. You forget things all the time. You're very flustered. You can't And I have it all the time. Like I can't really Yeah. Your brain fog is just so bad. But then on the other hand, it gives you a level of clarity that feels like a six sense. It's something that exactly you could never have achieved almost. It feels like you have like a higher understanding, right? It almost feels like you're closer to God in a way. Not closer than other people. It just like closer than you were before. Like you can hear more clearly. Exactly. It does. The clarity is improved. Yeah. And you just people that say things, you're just like, "Okay, I'm going to get away from them. It's not really the vibe that we're going for these days. We're not really doing that. Okay. How do you know when you're on the right path? Well, you have peace. That's the biggest thing. You know that you have that inner peace. You're not in turmoil anymore. When you're not on the right path, for me, it God speaks to me and says, "Let's go a different way." How do you feel you hear from God when I meditate? This new thing I learned about you today. I actually cannot get over this. Okay, moving on to more of love and relationships. Are you ready for this one? I don't know cuz I might not want my kids to know this stuff. It's okay. That's the funny thing about being a grandkid. If there's anything happening, Mike and I are always on the phone like, "What did you hear about this?" Okay. What have you learned about love over the years? It's more about friendship, companionship, being with someone you're comfortable with. You know, when you first meet someone, it's romance and but that's not what it's about in the end. It's just being comfortable with that person, enjoying being with them, being able to say anything you want to say and not worry about it. That's a big one for you. Micah loves to say anything she wants to say. It's funny because you're not nothing that you say. I feel like when you would say that about your grandparent, it sounds like they'd say like really controversial things. You actually don't say anything controversial. It's just that you say what you want to say. Yes. Yeah. Also, for context, so Ma was married to my grandpa for how long were you guys married? 24 years. for 24 years. They split when my mom was an adult. And then she remarried when I was probably 11, like 10 or 11, 17 years later, I think we married. She was single for a long time and then background on our family. Our family is originally from St. Louis and then we moved to Texas when I was two and then Ma ended up following us out here. So then she met someone out here. How long were you and Paul married before you passed away? Um, we were married 10 years. married 10 years, 11 years, I think. So, and she moved out of our house when they got together and we were devastated about that one. Specifically, Cody, he had a really hard time with it. But then we would always go hang out there. Like, I would go sleep over there all the time. Also, as an adult from where the the houses are 5 minutes apart, but when you're a child, it feels like it's 45, you know, right? It's literally down the road. It was so close. And then he passed away six years ago now. Seven six years ago. What makes a relationship last? Honesty is one of the big ones. Just being comfortable with each other, not putting up a front, right? Not trying to be what he wants you to be or just be yourself. Let the chips fall where they may. Um, what is the best thing about being single? There's some good things about it. You if you don't feel like eating dinner that night, you just don't eat. Mhm. If you don't have to worry about someone else, you can be very selfish, which is all right. But we have conversations. I live in a community, senior community, active, and you know, us girls will sit around and talk about being single and do we ever want to meet somebody? And a lot of the girls are like, I never want to meet somebody. They have no desire where I kind of like being with somebody. We talk about how you're we're busy all day. I mean, there's activity after activity after activity. It's like you can keep busy every day, all day long, but when you go home at night, you close that door, you're by yourself, and it can be lonely. Ma lives in an apartment complex that is essentially a sorority house for people over the age of like 60. It is. It is so crazy. She is so booked and busy to get on her calendar. It's actually genuinely difficult. Like you are so so busy. I know. You always say, "Well, let's see what Mike is doing first on the schedule." I know. Her schedule's more insane. I live between two states and somehow her schedule is crazier. It's insane. You're very social. Very. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? Yes. My god. Do you tell? I had one that was very toxic and I knew it after a year but just couldn't get out of it. So, it lasted three years till I finally ended it. Wow. But what made you finally end it? Like what gave you the strength? It was just time to move on and I finally got the courage to do it because there were there were things about the relationship that were really good. Of course, but um toxic. Toxic. Yeah. Ma's been in a toxic relationship. The more you know, more you know. What would you tell your 27-year-old self about heartbreak? Oh gosh. At that point, I hadn't had any heartbreak, but just that you can get through it. It's not the end of the world. You will you will survive. It does feel catastrophic during it. It does. You're like, "Am I ever going to survive this? Will I ever be able to get over this?" Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. And I tend to when I'm sad or lonely or hurt. I tend to lock myself up in my bedroom and I don't come out. Like when when Cody passed, I didn't come out of my apartment for three months and that was not healthy. I get that from you. Your mom got it from you, too. Yeah, you do. And you know, there was a healing process that took place, but just you got to reach a point where you say, "Okay, no more." And get out and heal. Yeah. You got to keep pushing. See, it's so crazy to think about you at 27 and me at 27 because when I was going through these questions, I'm like, "Well, you were married with children." I had two children at that point. That is so crazy to me. I am like can't even really fathom being with someone. Like your friends when they say like, "Oh, I never want to get married. I never wanna I understand that." Like I like my life. I I do want to be with someone. I want to have a family. Like I do want to do all those things now, of course. But I understand how they feel that way. Like you you I feel like most women in our family are all like relationship girls or not maybe relationships. I just think that you guys like dating more than I do. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm definitely Well, it's a different in the time, you know, the way we grew up was different. You there wasn't really an option there. Right. And when women got married, they did the cooking and the taking care of the children and they did it all. Mhm. And where now women are like uh Yeah. They grew a backbone. Yes. Exactly. But there's actually there's a couple other things that have happened, but yeah, it is very different. We're going to move on to more of like work, ambition, identity questions. Okay. What was your proudest moment professionally and personally? Professionally was when we got accepted by a major betting company like the biggest one there is, Neman's. Neman's. And um she's like, "Guys, please ask me." That was very exciting. Yeah, that was a huge And it was it was also fun. We had so much fun with it going to the trade shows and just the excitement of it was wonderful. And personally, your children being born. Oh, yeah. Me being born. Hello. It would be my children and my grandchildren, course. And I was there at every birth for my grandchildren. Of course, I was there for my children. Wonderful. I think about growing up at the trade shows, too, because it's so funny because would you guys have ever seen me ending up going into something kind of similar? Like, what did you think was going to happen for my life? You were going to be successful. There was no doubt about that because you were you had to be number one in everything at school. You know, I remember one day your mom told you you were leaving for school and she goes, "Do something bad today." Because you would you were perfect. Yeah. You would never do something bad. And you know, your mom would tease you and say, "Just do something bad today." You're like, "Oh, mom, I can't do it." I was so uptight. Like I was not very Yeah. High strong, very everything had to be perfect. grades had to be perfect. Um, I remember we played a game one time at Christmas and the older cousins all knew how to play and it was to spell a word and you were like, "How come I don't know how to spell?" You were like really young. We're like, "You'll learn in time." Yeah, but I should know now. I mean, you were very upset that everyone else knew how to spell and you didn't. So, after that, every sign you saw, you'd read the sign. Yeah. And then I was a crazy good reader. And then I really went into that. You really read everything. We used to go to the flea markets and get all because I read Nancy Drew when I was young. So you we bought every Nancy Drew book we could find. Yeah. Every That was the best part is that I would get bribed because I hated all this furniture shopping. I grew up in antique stores and I hated it. I was so bored as a child. But I would be I would get the Nancy Drew books because they have a lot of antique Nancy Drew books. So I would get them. I had every single one. And I cannot believe we sold those or got rid of them. Like that's I know we should have cut them forever. I did buy some at an antique store. I do have some in my house. We have a needle point canvas too. But yeah, I that's how I got actually the home is why I got so good at reading too because I read all the time because I was just in these boring antique stores and no kids had iPads then. iPads weren't even a thing. Yeah. You you read to entertain yourself and I don't think I don't know if kids do that now. Yeah. Play games. Okay. Did you ever feel pressured to be something or achieve something or to maybe do something by a certain timeline? I did, but I put the pressure on myself. Like my parents never put pressure on me. And I always felt my brothers and sisters were I don't know if I want to say better than me, but they were my brother was a dentist, my sister was an engineer, and I just always felt like they were smarter than me. But I never let it really bother me. I just achieved what whatever I wanted and if I wanted to do something or learn something I did it. We had this construction company and housing had really gone bad so we were we started doing more of like um room additions and so this couple wanted a room addition and we had to get a plan drawn and I thought I can do that. So I looked I went to the college. I called the college. Do you have any, you know, courses on drafting? And they said, "Oh yeah, we've got one just starting." So I took this course and I drew the plan myself and took it to the county to get it approved. And you know, I just did things like that all my life. If I wanted to do a pollster, I I learned how. Whatever was in front of me, I I didn't back away from it. How did you learn how to upholster? read books, took took it apart and I figured, well, if you take it apart, it goes back the same way. This is pre-YouTube tutorials way harder. You would have loved a YouTube tutorial. Oh, wow. Yes, that is fant. Now, you just watch YouTube and learn anything you want where back then you you try to find a book or just teach yourself. Wow. I'm so impatient when it come like Oh, yeah. You you'd be like, there's no way. If there's something that I want to do or learn, I will. But I have to want to do it, right? Same. I mean, same for all of us. Mom's the same way. Like, if mom wants to do something, it'll be done. But if it's something that I if there's like something wrong with the house and I don't care about it, like it's never getting done ever. Yeah. And your mom will put everything else aside. Oh my god. She will go and project, zero in on it until she gets it done. Absolutely. How do you figure out who you are? That's a good one. I think it's just something you know. Do you think that you create yourself or do you think that you find yourself? I think you find yourself probably both. You know, if you want to be something, then you will try to create yourself. To be that, but to really find yourself just comes naturally. I think a lot of who you are, you know, at like five. It's before the world jades you, gets a hold of you. It's before the Yeah. before the world gets a hold of you and tells you who you need to be or what you want need to like or right like the societal pressures everything that I am even doing now as an adult are all things that I liked when I was five they're just a more elevated version of it you know right so I do think that we have this sense I think that we find ourselves and create ourselves because I think we do have a sense of who we want to be and what we like before the world gets a hold of us but then I think there's also elements of like you don't even have any proximity to these you you probably have only been in one city at that point by like you haven't had a ton of life experience so maybe that changes you too okay moving on to some style just style confidence living well are you ready for this what is your signature dish um stew it's the only thing I could make that my kids liked and I made two different pots one had vegetables one didn't because they didn't like vegetables so I made it special for them but they asked me, "Make your stew." And that was it. I sometimes get asked in interviews for a friend of mine like, "What's like a signature dish in your family? Like, what did your mom and your grandma make growing up?" And I'm like, "Oh, no, no, no, no. They didn't do that." I go, "They did the other creative stuff." Like they they weren't really No, we weren't into cooking. Yeah. Cooking was not was not our It's not your cup of tea. No, not your thing. What is one thing every woman should own by 30? By 30? A car. Car is good. What about by 70? By 70? I don't know. I don't own anything. I know you're not very materialistic. I'm not. And I love living in my apartment with all my friends. And you know, I recently had a accident this year. And luckily, I called that one of my friends and she rushed down and called the ambulance. And they while I was in the hospital for what, four months, uh they went in and completely cleaned my apartment, did my laundry, changed my bedding, restocked my refrigerator. I mean, I know an angel. Sandy is an angel. I'll go over Patricia. She is, too. Yes. I'll go over to her apartment and sometimes if they're hanging out, I'll just talk for four hours. Oh, yeah. I have a great time over there. You just pull the chair up. Yeah. I'm like, well, I have some questions for you guys. Like, okay. How do you stay confident as you age? It's just natural. I think you become more confident as you age. I think you do, too. And I think as you get my age, you don't care what you say. Yeah. It's like, you know, if they don't like it, too bad. You just get more confident. What is one moment you wish you could relive? Probably the birth of my children, cuz that was so exciting. Just you could never get me to relive a birth ever, Micah. It's not the birth itself, but afterwards holding that baby that's a part of you. It's just it's exhilarating. In my wedding, very special. How old were you when you got married? 22. Wow. You know what I was doing at 22? My god. I was taking jello shots on the table on the bar. I was not anywhere near that. What were your early 20s like? Well, I just gotten married. We bought a house, so it was I was into decorating my house and my sister had just had a baby, so I was all into that. And then I had a baby at 24. So, it was just How did you find out you were pregnant for the first time? I just knew. You just knew. I just knew. Did you go take a test? No, they didn't have pregnancy tests then. You had to go to the doctor. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I just knew. That's crazy. Yeah. Do you have a favorite decade of your life? I don't know. I think I'm living it. Really? You would say this has been the best decade? It's been good for me. It's been really good. All right. You've just had a lot of tragedies in this decade. It's a crazy I have. But I've also had a lot of blessings. Mhm. I have so many good, dear friends. Yeah. That I haven't had in a long time. You have way more community now than you have. I Yes. When I was married to Paul, I was really his nurse. Yeah. He got very sick. And I for years took care of him and this has just been good. So busy. Even though I've had, you know, losing Cody and then the accident. Mhm. So yeah, you individually like what your life is now is definitely better. I just and I'm happy. I'm just very happy. What do you want to be remembered for? That I was a good person. Kind. What do you hope for the next generation? Wisdom. Because I think they're I think this generation now is too much into themselves and I think that's social media has done that. So I hope that they are kinder, gentler, nicer to one another, more forgiving. I do think a lot about how there's been so many great strides like mental health is so talked about now. Like there's so many things that are just important that have happened. But I also do think that sometimes like I will catch myself for like the only person I'm thinking of is myself and it makes all of your problems in life seem so much bigger. There are some issues obviously like such as grief that are just that catastrophic. But I think about even when I'm feeling weird about maybe like relationships or friendships or something like the more focused you are on yourself obviously the bigger that issue is going to be and every time you go do something nice for someone else it reminds you that the world is so big and that you're not focused on your own problem. Like I just think that we've lost I talk about like the concept of having a village on the podcast a lot recently and I think that we've lost like the art of having a village because we stopped doing things for each other and then you're more isolated that way. You take time to connect with other people. I had a instance where I was at the drugstore. I didn't like this one lady that could wait on you and there was two lines. So I'm like, "Okay, which one can I get in so I don't have to get her because she drives me crazy." And and of course I got in the wrong line and come up there and she had been gone for like six months. So anyway, I did say to her, you know, you've been gone a while, you know, she goes and then she looked at me and she goes, "My mom died." and she just had tears in her eyes. And I thought, how inconsiderate of me, you know, and I just didn't like her because she was slow and I do everything fast. So, I made a point after that to try to connect with people that you don't even know that you know, you don't know what they're going through or what's happening to them. So, try to be kinder and more understanding. Give more understanding. Yeah. If you could give one rule to live by, what would it be? Do you want to know what I think yours would be? What? Say whatever you want. Who cares? Yeah. Right. Well, I do do that. I think you would tell everyone to do that. Yes. Do it with kindness. Yes. You don't have to be mean about it, but do it with kindness. I think being direct is kind. I hate when people beat around the bush and just won't say something. Oh, yeah. It drives me crazy. and they think that they're being kind or they do it under the guise that they're just really nice. But actually that's not nice because you're not telling them the truth. You're not helping that person. You're not helping that person. And really what it is is you are not confident enough to like be strong within yourself and say something because you're not saying it because you're too scared to say something. Exactly. So really it's actually about yourself. It has nothing to do with being nice. And this is just anything that's direct like a yes or a solid yes or a solid no as long as you say it with kindness. Yeah. You know, if they don't receive it, oh well. But most people will. And there's so many ways to say things kind. Like nothing. You don't have to be rude. Like that is not what we're talking about. But I just think being direct is being kind. Yeah. Because there's nothing that makes me crazier than someone being indirect or not giving me the honest answer or know like you know that. And you know that and it drives you crazy. Or even just if someone asks you for like an opinion on something like I'm constantly like what do you think I did wrong here? like what do you think or like I'll give a situation. I'm like all right well I like I don't know I just think like in order to progress in anything like you need to be able to be direct and also you need to be able to handle someone being direct with you. I just think because our family is pretty direct. I think I view being someone being direct with me as love because it means they care enough about to do that helping you. Yeah. Because it can be scary to say something you're nervous about. But the more you do I don't I'm not scared ever. No you're not ever. I'm like that's insane. like we're not doing that today, you know. Okay. Do you want to play some family cards? Yes. So, if you guys are new to the podcast, I have a home brand friend of mine and we do have these family cards and they're generational card game. We'll play some for Instagram after, but we'll do a couple on the show. Um, and they're generational. So, there's questions for your siblings, your parents, and your grandparents. So, we love playing these. I made these actually in honor of my little brother. And we have a podcast code actually if you guys are interested in checking these out. House Guest for 15% off, I believe, is the podcast code. How have your spiritual beliefs changed over time? They've grown. I mean, they really have changed from what I believed when I was younger to what I believe now. Can you give us a little background? I grew up in a Catholic church and I had a wonderful childhood. We went to church every Sunday. But my beliefs then I think every I I would do every 10 years I've changed to where now I have a much wider view of God. I just believe differently. You're a lot more open-minded. More way more open-minded. Just more aware of God's love for people. I mean, he truly is love. And I have watched a lot of videos on YouTube that are about people who have died and come back and the NDE is near-death experiences. They've been very encouraging to me and give me given me an insight. Can you talk about You had a bad experience with church in like your 30s. Uh yes, I did because when I left the church, those people would never speak to me again and I just wanted to go to more of a non-denominational church and that was it. Those relationships were over and done. And I was I was really shocked that we couldn't remain friends just because I went to a different church. How did you not let that affect like your views on faith? because the church I was in was a very good church and I wanted to grow and it was a church I felt I could grow in. All right, next one. What is your favorite thing we've ever done together? Well, when you were little, maybe two or three, I don't know which, but I had kept you that weekend and that morning we went to church together and then we went down to Main Street in St. Charles and of course you were dressed to the nines. Oh, I was always in a dress and a hat. Always. Always. And you had a little rain coat on because it was it had been raining and every time they we'd reach a puddle, you'd say, "Can I jump in it?" And I'd be like, "Yeah, go ahead." So you jump in and you were by the time I took you back home, you were a mess. But you had fun. Mhm. My favorite as adults, I loved the garden when we did the garden together. That was so much fun. That was so fun. I want to do another one for fall because I'll be back. Yes. Most of the time. And then needle pointing. We just have been able to do so many and that's actually a hobby that we started together. Like Ma didn't teach me how to needle point. She wanted to learn and so I got her a class for her birthday and I went and then we just had we've had so much fun with it. It has been it has been so much fun. It's so fun. And then I do all your finishing. Yeah. Which is so convenient. I make all your pillows. Yes. Okay. What is your favorite material item that you own? I don't own much material things. I know you're not very materialistic. I think it would be like a needle point project or something. Well, I would think my sewing room is everything to me. My sewing machines, my little work table where I complete my projects. That's a good answer. What memory from your childhood means the most to you? Just being with my brothers and sisters. And my brother Tom and I did a lot of things together. He just was a funny kid. One thing we did was it was snowing. We had a in our front yard we had a baseball diamond because it was huge. We had like three acres and then the backyard the house set and it went down a hill so we would slay ride. So he's on the bottom of the sled and I'm on the top and he yells, "Duck." Well, I didn't hear him. And there was a trailer and he went under the trailer. He ducked and my head hit the trailer. Oh, good. And I mean, my whole face was just And I think that's why I have all my migraines now. But he tells that story all the time. I told her to talk. One day we were all eating. We ate dinner together every night. Every night at 6:00 was dinner. Like today kids don't have that but and you you were there. You did not miss dinner because you didn't eat if you did. So you were there and um we were having a conversation and my mom it was about heaven and my mom said, "I hope I go to heaven." And my brother looked at her and he goes, "All mommies go to heaven." She used to tell that story over and over. That's so cute. I just had I had fun with my brothers and sisters. Who do you think growing up left the greatest impact on you? Probably my mom and my grandma. My grandma did too. She came and u babysat us all the time and stayed with us. And we just loved her. Absolutely loved her. She let us do whatever we wanted. She always wanted to watch Perry Mason and we're like, "No, we're not watching Perry Mason. I think we were kind of mean to her, but you know, she made us whatever we wanted for breakfast, and just her coming and staying with us was awesome. Fun grandma. Yeah, she was a fun grandma. Okay, well, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode with my bestie. We can have you back anytime. This was a fabulous thing. Do you have anything else you want to say? Leave with the class. No, I'm good. How did you like your first podcast? Oh, this has been awesome. You feel good? I'll come back. Perfect. I'll come back.