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哈爾濱 洛杉磯 用猶太浮潛式賽巢 從超級巨人海洋外沿 但是圍繞著copyright line的5 personal 這些飯桶成了小商品 Everybody wanted a piece of us They told us what to wear, how to dress, which clothes we should put on The cops found me driving on the sidewalk I had no business hosting the Oscars After the show, Meryl Streep spit on me Tonight, The Simpsons, as you've never seen them before, on Behind the Laughter The Simpsons' amazing journey began here in the bustling heartland town of Springfield On this unassuming street, two nobodies named Homer and Marge Simpson settled down to raise a family First came Baby Bart Then, Lisa Simpson And finally, Maggie Nobody told us how tough it is to raise kids They almost drove me to Fortified Wine Then we figured out we could park them in front of the TV That's how I was raised, and I turned out TV I'd see him sitting on that couch all day long Just staring at that Hollywood hogwash Our favorite show was Hollywood Hogwash But we also loved The Drek Squad The Milwaukees, dumbing it down Sheriff Lowbrow, Home Improvement But we never saw people like us on TV TV families were always hugging and tackling issues Homer kept saying he could do a more realistic family show Finally, I said, so do it Either f**k or get off the pot And f**k he did Using his home as the studio and his family as the cast This penniless peckinpaw shot a crude five-minute video My Funny Family, take one And action Honey, I'm home The boys is coming to dinner and I need a clean shirt I haven't done the laundry yet Mamma mia, now I'll have to do it Dad, that's too much detergent Not now, I'm busy turning on this washing machine Simpson, where's my dinner? Mamma mia It was amazing how fast Dad Betrayed his vision of a realistic show Okay, the material was a little corny But Homer and I had real chemistry on screen Every day I thought about firing Homer You know, just to shake things up Homer didn't fire Marge, but he did shake things up Show business things He tried to show his demo tape to the major networks But couldn't get past the guards Fortunately, I had a network connection The man who cut my hair was also president of Fox The Simpsons had their foot in the door Fox ordered 13 episodes But would the public respond? M-E-R Okay, off U-P You're almost there Good I first knew the show was a hit when I walked into school And a kid was wearing a Bart Simpson T-shirt Fox had an endless supply of clever slogans, man Suddenly I was invited to every birthday party Sometimes I'd have to read the cake Just to know who I was singing to The Simpsons was a smash Viewers couldn't get enough of the show's Fractured take on the modern family The funniest stuff came right out of real life Son, let's go out for frosty chocolate milkshake Cowabunga, dude And cut Dad, I've never said cowabunga in my life Your script sucks You little... Hey, that's funny Good, good, good And that horrible act of child abuse Became one of our most beloved running gags With Simpson merchandise selling like crazy And Simpson gin wetting whistles worldwide The money was pouring in We were using $50 bills as toilet paper And toilet paper as dog toilet paper Wow Convinced that the good times would never stop rolling The Simpsons moved out of their trademark house And into M.C. Hammer's We found a secret room that was filled to the ceiling With parachute pants I'm wearing some now But pants or no pants The Simpsons were flying high Yeah, I've seen all the overnight sensations Brad Hall, Rich Hall, Rich Little, Little Richard But the Simpsons blew them all away Even had a hit record Meanwhile, Krustofenia sits on the shelf None of us had ever sung before But Mr. Geffen believed in us We're gonna prove tonight We'll make you feel alright Simpsons Boogie Lovely to love your lovin' And Simpsons Christmas Boogie Went mega-platinum And swept the Grammys Right, and the award for Best Hardcore Thrash Metal goes to Simpsons Christmas Boogie For America's favorite family Everything was coming up roses But those roses contained Ready to sting bees When we come back I wanna set the record straight I thought the cop was a prostitute When Behind the Laughter continues By the end of their first season The Simpsons were burning up Nielsen boxes in the U.S. And creating a sensation overseas Bathtubs of money Wheelbarrows of awards Fire hoses of respect The Simpsons had it all But behind the streamers and confetti Storm clouds were gathering Figurative storm clouds Hallman was spending money Like a teenage Arab He bought me a Rolex And cashed me a jeans I felt kinda guilty Cause I was always trying to Squall with his wife So when did we start filming? Oh Even Bart was throwing dough around He paid me and Carl a thousand bucks To kiss each other Hey, did we ever get that money? But reckless spending And interracial homoeroticism Were just volume one Of the encyclopedia Self-destructica Even more harrowing Were the events Of one April afternoon The script originally called for me To jump the gorge But I'd been up all night Paying people to kiss So Dad volunteered to do the stunt Everything was going great at first I felt like I was king of the world I'm king of the world Right about here I realized something's wrong Yep, there I go Then came the rock Jacket rock Kidding me with their jack The sequence became An instant comedy classic But what the audience didn't see Was the unfunny aftermath Somehow Homer became addicted To painkillers It was the only way He could perform The bone-cracking physical comedy That made him a star But despite their melting problems The Simpsons star continued to rise Like a plastic bag caught in an updraft It was such an honor To be on the Walk of Fame I mean, there we were With Hollywood royalty Like Milton Berle and Nelson Mandela And just a few stars down From the Cheerios Honey Bee Awards and honors are great But they don't pay the pickle man We were earning millions But we were always strapped for cash One time, Lisa bought a first edition Of Susan B. Anthony Man Her check bounced higher than rubber girl Where did the money go? Marge lost much of the family fortune Investing in birth control products I learned something When people reach for their diaphragm They don't want to see my picture As the Simpsons' money dwindled Their expenses soared From the original group of five The cast ballooned to dozens Then hundreds I've never acted before in my life But if the sea captain Could be in the show Why not me? I've even got a catchphrase No, I lost it Then another bombshell An anonymous tipster alerted Uncle Sam That the Simpsons Were evading their income taxes Yes, I think Don Homer But you know, he deserved it Never have I seen such abuse of the Take a penny, leave a penny trade The tax men were merciless Hey, they can't take our house My pot-bellied pig is in there Oh, Mr. Porky, no Inevitably, the behind-the-scenes turmoil Took its toll on their TV series And action Hold on, cut Oh, man, you Bart, if it's not too much trouble Fine, I'll do Teen Wolf 3 I've got fair-weather friends to feed Dad, I want to go to bed Aren't there child labor laws? Who told you about those laws? Was it Marge? Hey, you've been writing me all day Why don't you poop on your hand? Are you going to need us tonight? I have ballet tickets Not that they'll do much good now With the family in disarray Episodes increasingly resorted To gimmicky premises And nonsensical plots I'm an imposter That man is the real Seymour Skinner Trendy guest stars Were shamelessly trotted out To grab ratings If you are looking for trouble You've found it Just try me, you But there were bigger problems offscreen After judging A Miss Hawaiian Tropic beauty contest At the Sheraton Haleakaloo Alea Bart created a ruckus On a Hawaiian airline jet Attacking several flight attendants While he was in rehab The part of Bart Simpson Was played by his good friend Richie Rich Bart, what do you mean You have jury duty? Don't have a cow, mother Fans reacted to these Slapdash episodes with yawns Angry yawns Desperate to polish Their tarnished image The family agreed to a live appearance At the Iowa State Fair Right from the start I had a bad feeling about that gig It was an evening None of them would ever forget Or would they? No Hello, Iowa Does anyone have a doughnut? Homer, this is no time To be thinking about food Yeah, forget the doughnuts We're here to go nuts Musically, that is What kind of song should we play? Something that swings With the beat of New Orleans No, something that rocks That's the sound of today Swings Rocks Sadly, this argument Was not part of the act I'll kill you You don't have the guts Little man Folks, we're just having A little family tiff If you'll just bear with us Oh, shut up Always trying to act so mature I'm glad you make the least money Oh, that's it Hey, hey, stop it Stop it You shut up Let go of me Before a riot could break out Jimmy Carter came to the rescue With his comedy breakdance Got a brother named Billy And my teeth look silly Break it down now Come on, you I'll get you The dream was over Coming up Was the dream really over? Yes, it was Or was it? And Homer finds a new passion Dusting and polishing mixing boards When Behind the Laughter continues The Simpsons TV show Started out on a wing and a prayer But now the wing was on fire And the prayer had been answered By Satan After the State Fair fiasco None of the family Were speaking to each other Fox put the show on hiatus And replaced it With hidden camera footage From the dressing room at Ann Taylor That slugfest at the State Fair Was really a blessing It gave us a chance To pursue solo projects I returned to my first love The Legitimate Theater As a young female artist I really loved living In this East Village lot Oh, that must be our new landlord Mr. Stinchley Mwahaha Where is the rent? I must have the rent Dollars, dimes and nickels I need them all right now I literally chewed the scenery The other family members Were also spreading their creative wings Mark replaced Lorenzo Lamas In the syndicated action series Renegade Esposito thinks he's gonna muscle us He's wrong I hear that, Renegade Let's do this thing Marge put together a nightclub act The sheriff you take She didn't do it So the next time you see a sheriff Shoot him A smile Good night, lawful She didn't do it Lisa sang, too In a tell-all book Blasting the family To prolong the run of the series I was secretly given Anti-growth hormones That's ridiculous How could I even get All five necessary drops Into her cereal? What? In that family Nobody trusted nobody They even brought their lawyers To Thanksgiving dinner So, uh, how's everybody doing? You don't have to answer that Shut up, all of you, or I'll sue Oh, save it for your next book, you little snitch That's assault That is assault It was the best Thanksgiving ever I mean, emotionally, it was terrible But the turkey was so moist The carcass of the Simpsons Empire Had been picked clean But then came help From an unexpected source I knew there was only one person Who could reunite this troubled clan My old fraternity brother, Willie Nelson I knew anything for Kegmeister Julius So I cooked up a phony award show Again? Time saver of my ass When Willie asked me to be a presenter At the New Awareness Awards I had to think about it For about a microsecond You just don't say no To the red-headed stranger And when I heard it was for The New Awareness That sealed the deal Would Willie's fence-mending eggs Bear fruit? Or would his olive branch Be torn apart By woodpeckers of mistrust? That night Fate wore a cummerbund of suspense Thank you, Taco For that loving tribute to Falco And now to present the award For Most Violent Rap Group Homer Simpson Hey! And Marge Simpson What? What's she doing here? And Bart and Lisa Simpson Hey, what's going on? Well, I'll be honest The New Awareness Awards Are all an elaborate sham What? I knew it was too good to be true So this whole thing Was just a trick to get us back together I'm also trying to patch things up Between Van Halen and Sammy Hagar But the main thing is for you folks To stop this silly feud Isn't that right, people? Hug! Hug! The Simpsons' bitter past was forgotten And now the future looks brighter than ever For this northern Kentucky family We put all the craziness behind us And now it's time to get back to what matters The show And the Sunday comic strip Which Homer writes himself So you know it's great Why, you little... So whether choking their son Or poking some fun The Simpsons will keep on gagging For years to come We won another contest The Simpsons are going to Delaware I want to see Wilmington I want to visit a screen door factory This'll be last season Next week on Behind the Laughter Huckleberry Hound I was so gay But I couldn't tell anyone Make you feel alright Simpsons Christmas Plug-in We're dancing to the beat We'll make you move your feet Simpsons Christmas Plug-in