Why You Attract Toxic Partners

red flags have entered our Collective Consciousness quickly as more and more people have used the term to describe negative traits particularly in dating sometimes these red flags go unnoticed for deeper reason a reason that is very unique to you in your life experiences this happens when red flags feel like home it's no secret that our parents have a huge effect on us even into adulthood way you are raised can determine a lot about what you want in your relationship for example if you were raised to be neat and tidy to the point that it's comes naturally you would probably be very uncomfortable dating someone who is happily messy the same goes for the negative parts of how we were raised familiar Behavior even if negative seems normal and therefore goes unnoticed or is even expected number one avoiding Conflict at all costs arguments are normal in relationships they help us understand our relationships better and smooth out where our personalities Clash it might surprise you to learn that not every little Clash has to be an argument we should be able to accept responsib ability and apologize if we've done something wrong if our parents are the type of people who sweep their mistakes under the rug and pretend they never happened that could eventually seem normal to us a study revealed that children understand responsibility to be defined by honesty and fairness if your parents struggle to apologize or to be honest with you look out for those red flags in your relationship number two overly critical When We're Young we rely on our parents who have more life experience than us to be our first teers and to us on how to get through life when you think about it that is a huge task sometimes our parents may have a harsh approach to this delicate process and feel the urge to insert their own rigid views onto everything this could mean growing up without a sense of progression never truly knowing if you're succeeding at something because the automatic response from your parents was always critical chores academics and sports were likely always chosen for you by your parents it's even possible that your parents criticized you for the friends you chose this can man EST as a red flag in your dating life if your partner is also very controlling and critical they could try to disguise it as helping you but know the person you're with should usually be encouraging and if they do have concerns they should have a clear line of reasoning if you face criticism no matter what most facets inside and outside of the relationship that is a red flag that probably feels very familiar number three savior complex on the other hand your partner might seem too dependent on you perhaps you subconsciously attract people who are going through a rough patch or have an existing Mental Illness but that isn't always true for some couples perhaps you feel like your partner asks the world of you this can come across as needy or possessive for example they may guilt you into cancelling plans at the last minute because they don't want you to go they might also refuse to learn from their mistakes and do things you don't like even after you've set that boundary you might not notice this red flag if your parents were overly dependent on you or simply lack boundaries might have had very little time I'm growing up because your parents constantly needed you for something or didn't care if you wanted to see a friend or just take the day off and parents rely on you too much it can cause parentification which is the term for growing up too fast it can happen when you're required to do the majority of the physical work or if you have to look after your parents mentally or emotionally this could have prevented you from truly acknowledging your own needs and that you allowed to prioritize Yourself four never good enough do you dread talking to your parents because CU you know they're going to tell you that you aren't doing enough your job isn't good enough you aren't achieving enough you aren't the absolute best player in your team or the smartest in your class it's more than just criticism common lines you might have heard are I just want what's best for you or you're so talented you could go so far it sounds nice when they put it like that but if these are your parents you know that they're really saying I am disappointed you're not good enough growing up it seems like they had very little interest in what was making you happy what achievements made you proud and yet they were overly involved now in your romantic relationships if your partner is constantly hinting that they are disappointed in you or comparing you to others you might not realize that this is a huge red flag don't let others make you think that you're pursuing the wrong kind of success because everyone defines it differently when we love someone there is a lot that we can forgive if we're used to bad behavior we can forgive a whole lot more but is it worth it even at the expense of your mental health we we hope this video has made you a little more aware of the red flags out there don't let bad behavior slide just because you're used to it if you found this video helpful or informative please leave a like And subscribe to py too for more videos like this we hope you find the person who treats you right you've got this