Meditation: The Still, Lucid Presence of I Am

Take a deep breath. As you exhale, relax any thought that you notice back to source. [Music] Acknowledge the presence of life. Here and now. [Music] This cognizant aware sentient mystery that which you can notice as I exist or I am. There's no explanation for it. It does not come from your brain. Does not come from the elements. Somehow there is this magical quality of being, of something existing, of something being aware of itself being. And there's no way that [Music] two rocks bumping into each other for millions of years can suddenly create awareness itself. So the world that we see with our supposed senses, physical world if you will, is not the host. It's not hosting your sentience. that mysterious phenomenon of the fact that you are which is amazing when you really consider it and stop taking it for granted for just a minute. How did I am come about? Was it because of those rocks that were humping each other for a few million years? Did the friction between them really produce sentience, I amness, consciousness, complex emotion, spiritual insight, profound abstract thinking, communication? Of course not. The world did not produce you. [Music] Nothing in the world, not your parents, not your senses, not other people, not the five elements, none of it produced. I am. But what you are is somehow independent, free of this world. There's the kingdom of the census, world of Caesar, the world of Newton. And then there is the kingdom of God domain of the true self. The actual reality which constitutes the perception, the bundle of colors and shapes and sensations and form that we label the world. You do not exist inside of that world. You are not made by anything that appears within it. That apparent world exists within this mysterious power that knows that which actually right now in your own direct experience. You go back to the heart, the very core of your experience right now. You look at yourself directly right now. You will see that beingness, that formless yet palpable beingness. Within that beingness, which has no form, therefore knows no limitation, has no parameters aside from existing. The perception of the world arises, appears, place around, changes form. We shift through all of these trillions of frames per second, these timelines, creating this illusion of motion and space and time and separation. But it is always just a play. And nothing within the movie creates the screen. Nothing that the light projects itself through whatever the image may be. None of the images it projects through created the light. So we have here a dual system. We have the world or the illusion that play of perception which includes your body. Make no mistake your body is not the awareness. So the world does not exist inside of your body. Your body is a part of the world and the entire world including the perception you've labeled artificially. This is where my body ends and this is where the world begins. Therefore, this is my body over here and that's the world over there. Both of these are actually the same canvas, the same painting of perception itself. They're also the screen equally of the movie. Separation is an idea. It's not an actuality. It is not a findable reality. You do not end where your skin end. You are within that you areness on that background of consciousness of being. The world appears including this little avatar character of your body. Just because you're able to move it around at will, still doesn't make it ultimately absolutely real doesn't turn it into anything other than a perception. So we have again a dual system. We have the illusion including the body. Let's call this the world or the world of Newton. And then we have the kingdom of God, the kingdom of heaven or the abode of reality, your actual self-beingness. [Music] And then in addition to these two realms, if you will, which aren't separate, but they are different, there is this beautiful power of attention. You can use your attention right now and point it outward out there towards the perceptions under the assumption that what you see is actually out there. And then you can describe, mentally describe, attribute labels and stories and past memories and associative feelings and ideas to what arises within your perception and thus get lost in La La Land in the world of Newton being taken over by the sense of solidity, separation, linearity. victimhood and all those interesting qualities that come with forgetting your actual abode, the actual reality. Or you can take your power back, not like an activist or anything like that. Simply taking your attention back instead. That is taking your power back from the illusion to which you attribute yourself to which you give your power to which you have been outsourcing source to pay attention exclusively to the world of Newton, the world of appearances, the world of Caesar, the world of form, the world of illusion. at the expense of remembering. I am I am I am is to be lost in a world of your own imagination thinking it is the real world. But you can use that same attention and flip it around back onto self, back onto being, back onto this formless, magical but undeniably present quality of something here is sentient, is alive. Something here exists. Again, I'm not talking about the body being alive. The body being alive is just motions appearing. The one who's witnessing the body's motions appearing and its organs functioning, that which knows that is what's actually life. Your body is not alive. You're not alive as your body. Your body is simply moving, shifting, changing, functioning. That doesn't mean it's alive. It doesn't mean it's sentient. You exist. That is what it means to be alive. So take your attention back even prior to assuming yourself to be the body. Go back even further into the background of I am. Because I am exists whether the body does or not. Whether the body sleeps or is awake, whether the body feels good or feels bad, whether the body even came into being in first place or never came into being. In this case, it did for you in this way. But before that, what were you? Before your grandparents were even conceived, where were you? What were you? How were you? That which you were prior to the conception of your grandparents, you are now that same alive sentient principle. It just takes on all these different forms. It plays and that's fine. But when you forget that it is a play and when you attribute to it this reverent quality of reality and you misallocate what is real or truly alive or truly existent to the play which is simply a playful product of that existence of that aliveness of that reality. Then once again we are outsourcing source to a video game to a virtual reality to a holographic projection of what's possible forgetting the actual substrat of I am. So to take our power back is the same suggestion as surrender your little self your idea of I am this body this limited body in this defined world reality and you take your attention back. You take your power back. Or you could say if you prefer, I surrender. What do you surrender? Anything you can come up with. You throw it in the fire of source. You give it back to this background of I am. You toss it into that trash bin, that beautiful, mysterious trash can of I am. It takes it all. You can surrender all of it. All of you. all your ideas, all your mental contraptions, your conceptualizations, and you can give it back to the background of being. You can give it back to source. You can give it back to life. You can surrender what you think of as yourself until you realize your actual self. But if you cling to the trash of the mind and you refuse to throw it in the trash bin of I amness, give it back to the container of God. Then you will carry around your trash. You will feel like you are this or you are that. You are mortal. You are time bound. You are spacebound. You are small. Your circumstances define you. so on and so forth. All the shades of distortion will be yours to carry because they are hiding in your trash. But if you take your trash, which includes your most beloved preferences, your most ceremonial dedicated sessions of worshiping this or that deity, this or that crystal, this or that tarot deck, you're unwilling to give that trash back to God. If you wish to continue to idolize and isolate the things you love the most and try to avoid the things that could threaten that, then you are not yet in a state of surrender. You are still living your own life like an activist, but the only activism there is is against God. [Music] All activism is a form of taking action whether mental, emotional or physical against all that is the oneness, the great perfection present throughout all that is. For once you accept the oneness beneath the illusion which connects all that there is and you make it your own once again by surrendering your beloved bag of trash. this beloved concept of yourself. Once you throw it out the window, once you give it back to source, once you trust God with it, once you surrender, [Music] yes, it was there to greet you. If you trust God more than you trust your own trash, then you are fit for the path of surrender. You are fit for the reward inherent in that choice. But for as long as you shall cling to your trash, your ideas, your resistance, your protection, your safety, your comfort, in short, your ideas, because that's all that you have and all that you cling to, just a bunch of ideas. For exactly that long shall you continue to perceive a separation between I and God. [Music] But when your trust in source, in God, in life as a whole begins to outshine or exceed, [Music] overwhelm or expire your otherwise clingy attachment to your own ideas. [Music] That is when surrender begins to become a reality for you. Before that it's just a thought. It's just something you entertain. It's just a nice philosophy. It's just a lifestyle idea. But real surrender means real sacrifice of the things you love the most, which are your ideas. For everything you think you love out there is tied to an idea. An idea that somehow you cultivated or you inherited from society that you have started to believe in and find evidence for? So, are you willing to surrender what you think you know and trust the path that shall be revealed through your surrender? If so, if he walked his narrow path through this small gate of surrender, genuine surrender, not the lifestyle surrender, not the yoga magazine surrender, not the mindfulness group session surrender, actual surrender of all the garbage you have collected in the form of what you think is right and what you think you need to protect and what you think you deserve and want and what you think you love and what you think you should avoid. You're closest to your ego concepts of you. Once you grow in willingness, in maturity, in readiness, throw that out. Then this narrow path shall be revealed, and you shall walk it with relative ease. It will squeeze out of you everything that is false, everything that is untrue. Like a sacred fire, it will burn you up and set you free. Then in this way and this way alone meaning in the sincere way the genuine self-sacrificial way sacrificing your ideas about yourself. Only in this way shall you find a resurrection of self. A great transmutation, body, mind, spirit [Music] through beingness awareness. And I encourage you to tune in to inquire what is on the other side of this gate for me. Not to please your present self-concept or to give it a nice image per se, but more so to inspire your trust in the path of surrender. If you had to guess, intuitively guess, instinctively guess what version of you, of the expression of you in this world of play would arise, would emerge from the ashes of the fire of this transmutation process of your resurrection as a result of following this narrow path through this small process. size gate into genuine surrender. Sincere self-sacrifice, sincere trust and something that's not made by you as a mind, as a person, as a body. Once you go through that transmutation and you are reborn, you are in that sense resurrected. If you had to intuitively guess or imagine and you get a sense, a glimpse of that version of you and it's accompanying state of consciousness. And spoiler alert, blissful communion with source intelligence aka God. [Music] Don't allow the mind to hijack this as simply an idea or a philosophy. You have to understand and remember frequently and demand that this is a reality that awaits you through your own choice or will. It is not reserved for some special beings. It is not some abstract yogic concept. It is not found in religious texts. It is an actual reality that awaits everyone. Remember, it's an actual reality. It's more real than whatever your mind can come up with about it. So don't listen to the thoughts and the images. Remember that there is a reality to this, a potential that awaits you that is already here in truth. Can you glimpse that? Who would I be post resurrection, post ego death, postresurrection in the true life? What would my true life be like? my awakened life, the one that has burnt through the veils of the game seeming real. And thus freed me to recognize and be one with what is actually real and to come naturally from that settled state of blissful communion with source intelligence. If you had to glimpse, if you had to guess what your life would be like, what your state of mind, your state of consciousness would feel like, what sense do you get when you tune into that potential? And would that be worth it to you? Would that be worth the sacrifice of being so attached to chocolate over abandonment? Who says chocolate is better than being abandoned? When was the last time you learned more from eating chocolate than you learned from being radically abandoned? So tell me, oh brilliant mind with ideas and righteousness, why is your chocolate date with yourself preferable over being abandoned by someone you've given your commitment to? Tell me what is so much better about chocolate. What is so much richer about it or whatever else you prefer or idolize or think you love? What's so much better about rock climbing or martial arts or ballet or watching Netflix than being torn to shreds by the person you love emotionally, mentally? This just one example. But why do you protect what you think is worthy? And why do you avoid what you think is unworthy? Because you believe in false ideas. And therefore, your vision is not clean. And you do not see as God sees. You do not see what is bright. You do not see what is righteous. You do not see what is correct. You do not see what serves you most. Thus, you are in anti- Christ thinking mode when you resist. [Music] Safe to assume that every single one of your thoughts every single one of your ideas except perhaps the notion of source, the notion that all is the one are all delusions. going against the grain of God's natural rhythm, fabric, and waste. [Music] So do not be too attached to your ignorance for it is just that. No, instead I do not know. I release my righteousness, my false righteousness, so that God's true wisdom, source of true righteousness can shine through me, can illuminate me through my humility, through my surrender, through my trust in the power that puts every planet in its perfect orbit, that has given me this sense of I am, that allows for for me to play with the chocolate and play with the abandonment and everything in between in the first place. To honor God truly means to have faith in God more than you have faith in your human pebb brain. You got to remember to put this in perspective. Till you feel I do not know what I think I know is garbage. Let me toss it in the collection bin of the great I am. Let me trust in the great I am. Let me cleanse my vision of preferences of ideologies of concepts of belief systems and simply trust in the now as it is. and let my intuition show me and guide me and amp up my recognition of source intelligence of this wide open awakeness that's here right now this lucidity of being that is God trust in that surrender to that and it will reinform you it will reinstruct your mind body spirit spirit complex. This reinformation process could also be described as resurrection, transmutation, becoming a man or woman of God. Take a deep breath. No, this is possible for you as an actual reality that you cannot think about. It has nothing to do with your thoughts. Remember, it is an actual reality of being that awaits you. Take another deep breath and declare that you don't know anything about anything and that you're perfectly okay with that. that you will trust in source is greater intelligent. Take another deep breath and declare to yourself if you will or it's up to you. I surrender to you. I surrender to source. I surrender to the whole and then rest in the stillness which is lucid and alert as well as completely at ease and relaxed and wide open. There's no strain. But there is a dense clarity, a recognition, [Music] a palpable presence that has no form yet knows all form. [Music] Surrender all stress to that great ease, that great perfection of reality. [Music]